| Album notes by Gail Zappa
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| Yes. This was the group disguised as a band. They rehearsed. They had their photo sessions. Promo pictures were printed with record company logos and published. There are of course a couple of songs on here that we just could not resist sharing with you. All the songs are copyrighted per the dates listed but now you can hear the earliest version of them almost as if they are being written as you listen. Oh no!
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| The Construct:
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| In our efforts here at UMRK where many have called but few are chosen we deploy our fab gear and irresistibly focused Vaultmeister (now of some renown) Joe Travers to venture forth from time to time into the Sequin Mines as FZ so aptly named them, dismote the ages and identify suitable nuggets for your personal aural excitation.
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| A nugget, as noted heretofore, is (including but not limited to): a significant artifact by virtue of being an unreleased composition, a special performance or arrangement, a thrilling example from a less-documented line-up, a rare recording from somewhere other than a studio or stage and/or otherwise previously unreleased recording, highly nutritional trims and/or outs, different edits or mixes, a special project, a rehearsal, home recording, an excerpt from an interview or otherwise spoken gem, maybe a “build reel” or other “as is” (unadulterated by FZ) item - exquisite in quality, uniqueness or hotness anywhereanytimeanyplace (aka AAA - see also AAAFNRAA: anything anytime anywhere for no reason at all), from the breadth / depth of FZ’s career in lifeasweknowit (lawki).
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| Praise the l.o.r.d. (also a defined term: living on reproducible data)!
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| Any actual appearance of a real plan for why and what and when we decide on launching these items in your direction exists mostly in retrospect. The way it really works? We here at UMRK feel it is our duty…
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| And so it happened that Joe did not imagine a fake band playing fake music. No. It was just holding - a place and time that never moved on. A band interrupted. And there in the Vault was the evidence! The work cassettes of rehearsals (recorded by Denny Walley) and the analog 4 tracks Joe transferred and even mixed! Just for you. Are you holding?
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| (Oh, and just in case you wonder, all the songs are actual FZ titles - he could hardly contain his joy on discovering the spelling of the town on the road tape box where guess which one of these songs first revealed itself to him. We remain committed in our search to find the original)
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| [Novi Novog] Let me get a phase sound…
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| [?] Frank?
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| [FZ] Yeah
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| [?] What’s that song called?
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| [FZ] That’s two songs. It’s “T’Mershi Duween” and “Reeny Ra”.
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| [Roy Estrada] “Reeny Ra”
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| [Novi Novog] Heh!
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| [Roy Estrada] That the official name now?
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| [FZ] Hoy hoy rant-tada-dat-tat hoy hoy rant-tada-dat-tat
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| [FZ] Yeah? Did you go: “Reeny-ra, Reeny-ra-ra-ra”?
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| [?] Boogie! Boogie!
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| [Roy Estrada] Hah hah hah hah!
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| [FZ] Arf
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| [Moon Zappa] Who do? Ah!
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| [FZ] Now, try this one:
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| Sha-la-la-la
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| [Roy Estrada] Sha-la-la-la
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| [FZ] Tet-tet-tet sha-la-la-la
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| [Moon Zappa] Daddy? Can I say something?
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| [FZ] Sure, come on up
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| [Roy Estrada] A new monster
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| [Dweezil Zappa] I want to say something too
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| [Moon Zappa] Hah hah hah!
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| [Dweezil Zappa] Ha…
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| [Moon Zappa] Hello! Hello!
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| [FZ] There’s another way to do it
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| [Gail Zappa?] OK, here…
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| [Moon Zappa] Hello everybody!
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| [Dweezil Zappa] Hey, be quiet!
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] Hah hah hah hah hah!
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| [Moon Zappa] Who do you think you are?
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] Hah hah hah! Get down…
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| [Moon Zappa] Hello!
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| [FZ] And now that you’ve talked in the microphone, get out!
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] Hah hah hah!
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| [Moon Zappa] OK!
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| […]
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| [FZ] You know how to do it?
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| [Denny Walley] Well, you said there’s the shims on there.
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| [FZ] You take all the strings off. Or you slack ‘em all down. And you just… you just lift that out. And underneath of it there’s three little pieces of white uh… like, plastic.
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| [Denny Walley] I couldn’t bring it home last night, ‘cause I didn’t have my car. It broke down […]
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| [FZ] Well, you… you know, take out… start by taking out one, put the strings back on, see if it feels right. I’ll guarantee if you take all three of ‘em out, you’re gonna be down on this thing and […]
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| [Denny Walley] I don’t wanna go that far. It’s just a little bit.
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| […]
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| [FZ] Top… two, three, four
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)
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| His fav’rite phrase was “Outa-site”
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| He had an Irish Setter
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| Hratche-plche hratche-plche hratche-plche
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| It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
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| The moon was dim, the band was tight
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| They did the Bump together
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| What a splendid sight
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| Her teeth were white
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| The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite)
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| He was glad that he met her
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| She was an office girl, “My name is Betty”
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| Her fav’rite group was Helen Reddy
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| (They discussed the weather!)
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a MAN!
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| She was a lonely sort, a little too short
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| Her jokes were dumb and her fav’rite sport
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| Was hockey (in the winter)
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| He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
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| Any sport with a PUCK had to be ‘bout the best
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| As he jabbed his elbow in her
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| (Get it?)
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| Later on they went off to where the music was soft
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| The candles were drippy, they saw a real hippy
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| Who delivered their dinner
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| The rice was brown and soon they found
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| That the crowd around that had jammed the room
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| Well, it seemed to be getting thinner
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a MAN!
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| He took me home to a motor court
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| I wouldn’t kiss him, he tried to ignore it
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| But it made him angry!
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| He called me a slut
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| A pig
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| And a whore
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| A bitch
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| And a cunt
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| And I slammed the door
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| In a petulant frenzy!
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| On the sofa she weeps
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| She weeps and she weeps
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| She weeps and she peeps through the curtain
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| He just got in his car
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| But the battery’s dead
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| So he asked to use the phone
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| And I gave him some…
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| Ba-da-bam bam-bam-bam
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| Rum-pum-pum-pum
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| And that’s the end of the story
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Honey, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a MAN!
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| Baby, don’t you want a MAN sometimes?
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] The Illinois enema bandit
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| I heard he’s on the loose
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| I heard he’s on the loose
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| Lord, the pitiful screams
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| Of them college-educated women…
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| Boy, he’d just be tyin’ ‘em up
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| (They’d be all bound down)
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| Just be pumpin’ every one of ‘em up with all the bag fulla…
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| Illinois enema bandit juice
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| The Illinois enema bandit
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| I heard it on the news
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| I heard it on the news
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| Bloomington, Illinois… he’s caused such an alarm
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| Creepin’ around there, around there from farm to farm
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| With a rubberized bag and a hose on his arm
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| Lookin’ for some rustic co-ed rump
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| That he just might wanna pump
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| Searchin’ for some rustic co-ed rump
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| That he just might wanna pump
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| Searchin’ for some rustic co-ed rump
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| That he just might wanna pump
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| Searchin’ for some rustic co-ed rump
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| That he just might wanna pump
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| The Illinois enema bandit
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| Someday he’ll have to pay
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| Someday he’ll have to pay
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| Judge say: “You’re under arrest!”
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| (Police will say that)
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| The judge will have him for a special guest
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| The D.A. will order a secret test
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| (Let’s see what’s in this water)
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| Pokes thumbs (pooh) in the side of his vest, yeah-hey
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| They’ll put out a call for the jury folks
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| Judge will stand up and say: “No poo-poo jokes!”
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| They’ll drag in the bandit for all to see
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| Sayin’: “Don’t nobody have sympathy…”
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| Sayin’: “Hot soapy water in the first degree”
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| Bandit say, bandit say: ✄ “Why you all lookin’ at me?”
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| Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, did you cause…
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| [FZ] You should do that like Helen Reddy
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] The bandit say: “Why you all lookin’ at me?”
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| Well, well, well, well, well, did you cause this misery?
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| You know one girl shout (hey!): “Let that man be!”
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| But I say: “Are you guilty?
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| Heaven, what’s your plea?”
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| Another girl shout: ✄ “Let the fiend go free!”
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| Oh, judge have to say: “Did you do these deeds?”
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| [FZ] “It must be just what they all need…”
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] Bandit say: “It must be just what they all need…”
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| Bandit say: “It must be just what they all need…”
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| The bandit says: “It must be just what they all need…”
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| The Illinois…
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| [FZ] You have to bring up your part
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| [Roy Estrada] Huh?
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| [FZ] Bring your part up
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| [Roy Estrada] OK
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| [FZ] It’s not… The thing about your part, it’s not really part of the harmony, but it makes it, you know?
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| [Roy Estrada] I know
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| [FZ] So…
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| [Roy Estrada] I know it
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| “Must be just what they all need…”
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| [FZ] Leave your part out for a minute, Roy
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| [Roy Estrada] OK
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| “Must be just what they all need…”
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| (Yeah)
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| “It must be just what they all need…”
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| B-brrr
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| “Just me just what they all need…”
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| Bandit say: “It must be just what they all need…”
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| Convicted, he said: “It must be just what they all need…”
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| They took him off to jail, yeah, “It must be just what they all need…”
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| But he continued to say: “It must be just what they all need…”
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| Lord, give me the straitjacket
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| [FZ] “You know, boy, they’re gonna give you the chair for this”
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| He-heh says: “It must be just what they all need…”
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| [Novi Novog] Hope it has an enema in it
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| He said: “I don’t care, I don’t care, ‘cause it must…”
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| [FZ] “Give me the chair!”
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| [Robert Camarena] Is that chair shaped like a toilet bowl?
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| [FZ] “We’re gonna give you a chair with a rubber duck in the front!”
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| [?] Hah hah hah!
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] There will come a time when everybody who is lonely will be free to sing & dance & love
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| There will come a time when every evil that we know will be an evil that we can rise above
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| Who cares if hair is long or short or sprayed or partly grayed? We know that hair ain’t where it’s at
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| There will come a time when you won’t even be ashamed if you are fat
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| WAH WAH WAH WAH
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| [Instrumental]
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| There will come a time when everybody who is lonely will be free to sing & dance & love
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| There will come a time when every evil that we know will be an evil that we can rise above
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| Who cares if you’re so poor you can’t afford to buy a pair of mod a go-go stretch-elastic pants?
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| There will come a time when you can even take your clothes off when you dance
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| WAH WAH WAH WAH
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| There will come a time when you can even take your clothes off when you dance
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| WAH WAH WAH WAH
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| There will come a time when you can even take your clothes off when you dance
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| WAH WAH WAH WAH
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| [FZ] Now…
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| [?] Denny, […] “I’m the slime”?
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| [Roy Estrada?] “I’m the slime” […]
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| [?] I love that song
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| [Denny Walley] Uh… Get “I’m the slime” off the “Over-Nite Sensation” album
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| [Novi Novog?] “I’m the slime” just like Denny said
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| [Denny Walley] And learn all the girls’ part background in uh… What the fuck is that song?
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| [?] Don’t be such an asshole
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| [Denny Walley] Hey, look, […] godamnit, don’t interrupt on my ninety-dollar-an-hour tape!
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| [?] What is that?
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| [Robert Camarena] “I’m the slime”
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| [Denny Walley] No, “Dirty love” yeah. Get the background parts on “Dirty love”.
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| [Robert Camarena] Please, please to get “Dirty love” and “I’m the slime” thank you
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| [Denny Walley] Twice
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| CHOOSE YOUR FOOT!
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| MAH-MAH-MAH
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| CHOOSE YOUR FOOT!
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| MAH-MAH-MAH
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| UHM…
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| [FZ] Another way to do it. Another way to do it. You guys go: “Choose your foot, mah-mah-mah, choose your foot” […] “Uhm”
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| [?] OK
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| [FZ] You guys go: “Ooh!”
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| [?] OK
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| [FZ] OK
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] Now we do everything except the “Ooh”
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| [FZ] Yeah, I’ll do that by myself
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] Everything else
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| [?] Do we do it on […]?
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] Hah hah hah hah!
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| [FZ] ‘Cause I love to do that
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] And they already did it like it was a […]
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| [FZ] Tell me, Mr. Zappa, what is your message to the WORLD?
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| [Napoleon Murphy Brock] Hah hah hah hah!
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| [FZ] Ready?
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| CHOOSE YOUR FOOT!
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| CHOOSE YOUR FOOT!
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| MAH-MAH-MAH
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| CHOOSE YOUR FOOT!
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| [FZ] And you know, maybe if you’re lucky some guy will reach up and put his hand on the stage and you can stand on his hand and still sing it
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| Beefheart did that to some kid who kept trying to get up onto the stage. He walked over and went wham and stepped on the guy’s hand. He didn’t feel it, he was out. He didn’t know. He just took it, put a couple of pieces of it in his pocket.
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| [Robert Camarena] Just popped a couple. There goes a couple more.
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| [FZ] You know sometimes your friends come up to you in the middle of the night and they just have to ask you the mystery question…
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| Are you holding…
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| No!
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| Any downers?
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| No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
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| Are you holding…
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| I said no, I ain’t got no
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| Any bennies?
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| Oh, hold on, there may be a couple here now, wow!
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| NO, I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, I’M AFRAID I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, I’M AFRAID I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| OH YES, I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, I’M AFRAID I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, I’M AFRAID I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, I’M AFRAID I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO! NO! NO! NO! YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!
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| NO, NO, NO
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| NO, I’M AFRAID I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO! NO! NO! I DON’T GOT NO MORE!
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| OH NO-OW, I DON’T HAVE NO MORE, OH LORD
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| Sure wish I had some hot stuff right now!
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| Are you holding?
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| No-o
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| Brother, are you holding?
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| No-o-oh
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| Are you holding?
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| No-o-oh
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| Now tell me truly, are you holding?
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| [FZ] Then you can go…
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| But if I hit you?
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| No!
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| Then if I hit your sister? / If I beat you?
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| No
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| And then if I buh— bite your mother’s foot?
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| [FZ] What if I… What if I hurt your car?
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| Hah hah hah!
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| Now, what if I…
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| Please, please, hear my plea
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| And what if I scratch your primer spot, man?
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| [FZ] Give me a little tambourine. Where’s that tambourine?
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| [?] I’ve got one over there
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| [FZ] Get it
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| [?] […] tambourine
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| [Instrumental]
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| Any downers?
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| Mmm-no
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| Any downers?
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| Nnn-no
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| Any bennies?
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| Oh no
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| I said you got any bennies?
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| No, no, no
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| Now, what about if I hit your sister?
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| No!
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| What about if I beat your dog, uh?
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| No-ow
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| What about if I hit your car?
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| No!
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| Then will you have any downers?
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| NO, I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, I DON’T HAVE ANY MORE
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| NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO
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| NO, NO, NO, NO, NO
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Can you put some of the guitar in Terry’s monitor?
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| OK. Top again.
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| One, two, three, four
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| [Instrumental]
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| […]
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| [FZ] Come on in
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| […]
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| [FZ] Listen. We quit at midnight.
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| [?] Nobody quits […]
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| [FZ] Look…
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| […]
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| [Roy Estrada] It bounced off that building
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| [?] Oh, shut the bathroom window
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| [Robert Camarena?] Yeah, Frank, when the bathroom door’s open […]
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| [FZ] […] the cops’ll be all over this fucking place. He’s the guy that lives across the street that complains once a month at least. He just… He’s a guy that likes to sleep at night. All right, let’s get out of here.
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| […]
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| [Novi Novog] […] Sunset Boulevard. It’s not like in a quiet country […]
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| [FZ] No, he lives back there
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| [Novi Novog] Oh
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| [Denny Walley?] That’s his hard life […]
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| [FZ] Yeah, I know. But apparently if it goes out that window, all it does is rattle around in the middle of […]
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| […]
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| [FZ] He’s one of those guys that waits…
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| [Robert Camarena?] I heard one!
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| I heard a note!
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 Photo by Doug Metz.jpg "(Front) Photo by Doug Metz")
 Photo by Doug Metz.jpg "(Booklet) Photo by Doug Metz")
 Photo by Doug Metz.jpg "(Booklet) Photo by Doug Metz")
Songs list
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Title origin
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