| [FZ] Ladies and gentlemen, while they’re fixing the amplifiers, the Sanzini brothers!
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| THE SANZINI BROTHERS!
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| [Instrumental]
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| Ho hut
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| You motherfucker
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| You shove it up your ass
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| [Mumble]
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| Lou Jacobi
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| Lou Jacobi
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| [Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan] Penis dimension
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| Penis dimension
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| Penis dimension is worrying me
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| I can’t hardly sleep at night
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| ‘Cause of penis dimension
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| Do you worry?
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| Do you worry a lot?
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| Do you worry?
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| Do you worry and moan
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| That the size of your cock is not monstrous enough?
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| It’s your penis dimension!
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| Penis dimension!
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| Wah ooo-wah ooo-wah ooo-wah
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| Wah ooo-wah ooo-wah ooo-wah
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| [Mark Volman] Hiya, friends! Did you ever consider the possibility that your penis, and in the case of many dignified ladies, that the size of the titties themselves might provide elements of subconscious TENSION? Weird, twisted anxieties that could force a human being as yourself to have to become a POLITICIAN, a POLICEMAN, a Jesuit monk.
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| [FZ] Dominus Vobiscum et cum spiritu tuo ▶
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| [Mark Volman] A POLICEMAN!
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| [FZ] Do it again
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| [Mark Volman] A POLICEMAN!
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| [FZ] Do it again
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| [Mark Volman] A POLICEMAN!
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| [FZ] More, more! And that too!
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| [Mark Volman] A rock & roll guitar player, a bass player, a wino, you name it!
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| [FZ] (Hey, you, sit down and be quiet this is a teen-age rock & roll program)
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| [Mark Volman] And, in the case of the ladies, the ones that can’t afford a silicone beef-up, they become writers of hot books
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| [Howard Kaylan] “Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim”
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| [Mark Volman] Or they become Carmelite nuns
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| [Howard Kaylan] “Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his mutated member in her slithering slit”
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| [Mark Volman] Or they become race horse jockeys! Now, there’s no reason why you or your loved ones should suffer about the size of their organs. THERE ARE ENOUGH PROBLEMS IN THIS DAMN WORLD TODAY, AM I RIGHT?
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| [Howard Kaylan] RIGHT ON! RIGHT ON!
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| [Mark Volman] If you’re a girl and you’re troubled with munchkin tits, you can console yourself with this age-old line from primary school. Help me out, brothers.
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| [Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan] “Anything over a mouthful is wasted!”
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| [Mark Volman] Yes, yes. And if you’re a guy… And you’re a guy and you’re ashamed about the size of your dick, ladies and gentlemen, a prime example.
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| [Mark Volman] And one night you’re at a party and you’re being so cool, I mean, you’re now… you’re with this really cool lady and you’re not even wearing any underwear. You know, I mean, you’re bein’ so cool. And some guy comes walking up to you, you know, you never even seen before and he’s dressed all in leather, and he walks up to you and he says these words:
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| [Howard Kaylan] “Twelve centimeters or less?”
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| [Mark Volman] He is a lonely guy. And this happens to you while you’re at the party. Well, let me tell you brothers and sisters, this is the time when you gotta turn around and look that son of a bitch right between the eyes. And you gotta tell him some words that could help him, some words that would show him that there’s a better live than the one he’s leavin— living. And right now I’m gonna ask my brother Jeff Simmons behind me here to help us all in this moment by telling us all these words. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
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| [Jeff Simmons] Ladies and gentlemen if you can dig a country-western rap then you’re in the right joint. It’s the sacred song of the hour for all of France and the Ruhr valley. My RUMP HAIRS long for your sweet love, whether you like it or not.
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| [Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan] These words…
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| What’s between your legs is just the last few inches of a complex mechanism which runs up and down the spinal cord and all hooked up to the human brain
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| Which, if used correctly
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| Can effectively increase the dimension
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| And the firepower of your dick
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| To the point where
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| In some instances…
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| Wah ooo-wah ooo-wah ooo-wah
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| [Howard Kaylan] It could be classified as a LETHAL WEAPON
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| [Mark Volman] Ladies and gentlemen how about a nice big round of applause for a LETHAL WEAPON? We want you all to sing along with us. Fill this hall with the sound of your voices. Everybody sing “PENIS DIMENSION”.
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| Penis dimension
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| Penis dimension
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| Penis dimension is worrying me
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| I can’t hardly sleep at night
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| ‘Cause of penis dimension
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| Penis dimension
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| Penis dimension
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| Wah ooo-wah ooo-wah ooo-wah
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| The air escaping from your mouth
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| The hair escaping from your nose
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| My heart escaping from the scraping and the shaping of the draping…
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| I’m awaking in a T-shirt, in a Chevy
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| At the beach
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| And I’m freezing
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| And I’m wheezing
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| And I know you were only teasing
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| I hit you
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| Then I beat you
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| Then I told you
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| That I love you
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| In my car
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| In a jar
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| In my car
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| In a jar
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| Theeeeeeeeeeeeeee (HA HA HA!) air escaping from your pits
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| The hair escaping from my teeth
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| (From you!)
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| My hands are gripping but they’re slipping and they’re dripping ‘cause I’m tripping
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| I got busted
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| Coming through customs
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| With a suitcase
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| Full of tapes
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| It was a special
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| Tape recording
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| And they grabbed me
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| While I was boarding
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| Yes, they grabbed me, then they beat me, then they told me they don’t like me
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| And I crashed
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| In my Nash
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| We can crash
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| In my Nash
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| We can crash
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| In my Nash
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| We can crash
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| With Graham Nash
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| Look out now!
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| The Bee Gees!
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| Won’t you, be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e
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| Hear my pleeeeeeeeeeea?
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| Pam pam padam pampedam pam
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| Ha ha ha ha ha
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| Pam pam padam pampedam pam
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| Pam pam padam pampedam pam
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| Pam pam padam pampedam pam
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| La la la la la wee-ooo
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| Ay!
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| La la la la la wee-ooo
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| Ay!
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| Pam pam padam pampedam pam
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| Ha ha ha ha ha
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| Pam pam padam pampedam pam
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| Pam pam padam pampedam pam
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| Pam pam padam pampedam pam
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| La la la la la wee-ooo
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| Ay!
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| La la la la la wee-ooo
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| Dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit
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| Primer mi carucha (Chevy ‘39 ▶)
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| Going to El Monte Legion Stadium ▶
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| Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
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| Helps me stealing hub caps, wasted all the time
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| Fuzzy dice, bongos in the back
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| My ✄ ship of love is ready to attack
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| Buy me a carucha (Chevy ‘39)
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| Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
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| Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
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| Helps me stealing hub caps, wasted all the time
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| Fuzzy dice, bongos in the back
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| My ship of love is ready to attack
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| Won’t you please hear my plea?
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| Won’t you please hear my plea?
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| Won’t you please hear my plea?
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| We are the other people
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| We are the other people
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| We are the other people
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| You’re the other people too
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| Found a way to get to you
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| Do you think that I’m crazy? Out of my mind?
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| Do you think that I creep in the night and sleep in a phone booth?
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| Lemme take a minute & tell you my plan
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| Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
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| If it doesn’t show, think you better know I’m another person
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| Do you think that my pants are too tight?
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| Do you think that I’m creepy?
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| Better look around before you say you don’t care
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| Shut your fuckin’ mouth about the length of my hair
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| How would you survive if you were alive, shitty little person?
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| We are the other people
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| We are the other people
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| We are the other people
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| You’re the other people too
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| Found a way to get to you
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| We are the other people
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| We are the other people
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| We are the other people
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| You’re the other people too
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| Found a way to get to you
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| Do you think that I love you, stupid & blind?
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| Do you think that I dream through the night of holding you near me?
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| You didn’t try to call me
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| Why didn’t you try? I’m so lonely
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| I am so lonely
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| No matter who I take home, I keep callin’ your name
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| Shanook
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| And you… (I need you so bad) you’re The One, babe
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| Tell me, tell me, who’s lovin’ you now
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| ‘Cause it worries my mind and I can’t sleep at all
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| I stayed home on Friday just to wait for your call
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| And you didn’t try…
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| You didn’t try…
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| You didn’t try…
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| You didn’t try to call me
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| Why didn’t you try? I’m so lonely
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| I am so lonely
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| No matter who I take home, I keep callin’ your name
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| And you… (I need you so bad) you’re The One, babe
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| Tell me, tell me, who’s lovin’ you now
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| ‘Cause it worries my mind and I can’t sleep at all
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| I stayed home on Friday just to wait for your call
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| Chak cha-cha chakkechak cha-cha
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| I can’t say what’s wrong or what’s right
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| All you gotta do is call me, babe
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| You make me feel so excited, girl!
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| I got so hung up on you from the moment that we met
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| That no matter how I try, I can’t keep the tears
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| From running down my face, I’m all alone in my place
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| [Instrumental]
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| I love Ray
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| [Instrumental]
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| Ladies and gentlemen, the George Wein variations
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| [Instrumental]
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| Confidentially, ✄ ain’t she sweet?
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| [Instrumental]
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| Charlie Mingus, ladies and gentlemen
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| Kiss my…
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| Kiss my wrist!
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| [Instrumental]
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| Good night
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| Thank you very much
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| Yes it’s time for… hot boogie!
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| HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT
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| HOOO HOT
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| Oohh oohh ohohohooo
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| Oohh oohh ohohohooo
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| What will you do if we let you go home
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| And the plastic’s all melted and so is the chrome?
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| What will you do if we let you go home
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| And the plastic’s all melted and so is the chrome?
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| Who are the… Who are the… Who are the brain police?
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| Police
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| Oohh oohh ohohohooo
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| Oohh oohh ohohohooo
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| What will you do when the label comes off
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| And the plastic’s all melted and the chrome is too soft?
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| What will you do when the label comes off
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| And the plastic’s all melted and the chrome is too soft?
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| Who are the… Who are the… Who are the brain police?
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| Mama, yeah!
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| Police
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| [Instrumental]
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| Oohh oohh ohohohooo
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| Oohh oohh ohohohooo
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| What would you do if the people you knew
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| Were the plastic that melted and the chromium too?
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| What would you do if the people you knew
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| Were the plastic that melted and the chromium too?
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| Who are the… Who are the… Who are the brain police?
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| Police
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| POLICE
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| [FZ] Thank you very much for coming to our concert. I’d like to request that if you would please leave the hall in an orderly fashion so that we don’t have any problems. (Bring the band on down behind me, boys, this is an important public service announcement). I don’t want to have the police injuring you on the way home. Be nice when you leave the place so you don’t have any trouble.
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| Good night
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.jpg "(Front)")
.jpg "(Booklet)")
.jpg "(Booklet)")
Songs list
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Title origin
| 