|
Ballet script from Barbican Theatre concert program - January 11, 1983
Linked material:
|
| (I) BOB’S CLOTHES
|
| The stage it brightly lit in yellow, orange and green. The scene is BOB’S BEDROOM. The back curtain is black. On three moveable platforms we see three extremely large racks of extremely large, extremely ugly male person clothing. There is a right rack, a center rack and a left rack. Between the left rack and the center rack there is a large dressing mirror. The center rack is equipped with a device that causes the ugly clothes to part like theater curtain when activated by three female dancers concealed behind. These characters represent the kinds of girls who might become stimulated by a guy like BOB when he gets all dressed up. We’ll call them “THE IMAGINARY GIRLS”.
|
| BOB leaps in from the right wearing shiny black dress shoes, mid-calf block wool socks, garters, boxer shorts and an under-shirt. He is wearing an absurd wig that makes him look like he has half hair. His choreography leads him from rack to rack, trying on a variety of ugly clothes. Each version of his evening ensemble is scrutinized in front of the mirror. Each trip to the mirror results in an appearance by THE IMAGINARY GIRLS who gesture approvingly as BOB fantasizes how he’s going to knock ‘em dead at the singles bar downtown. Finally convinced he has found the perfect ensemble, he admires himself one last time and exit left.
|
| (II) WHAT BOB’S BODY REALLY LOOKS LIKE
|
| As soon as he leaves, an enormous inflatable highly stylized replica of BOB’S nude body is lowered from above. The lights take on a dreamlike quality as THE IMAGINARY GIRLS emerge from behind the rack and roll around on the floor, laughing at BOB’S BODY. The platforms housing the racks and the mirror are rolled offstage (either by dancers in total black or pulled off on tracks by cable).
|
| As the racks and mirror depart, three male dancers enter and examine BOB’S BODY. One is a doctor. He has a little rubber hammer for reflex testing. The next is a shoe-shine boy (for, although BOB’S BODY replica is nude… it still has those horrible shoes, socks and garters painted on). He has a little box and a rag. The next is a tennis instructor (there is a disproportionately small inflatable tennis racket replica in the hand of BOB’S BODY). He tries to help BOB’S BODY with his forearm.
|
| During this, on another moveable platform, a surrealistic approximation of a bar, with usable utensils and a weird sort of a bartender person behind it wiping glasses, rolls in from the left.
|
| (III) BOB GETS DRUNK
|
| As the bar arrives, the lighting changes so that the inflatable BOB’S BODY is illuminated as if it were a large piece of statuary decor in the singles bar. A concealed hose allows bubbles to spew out of various parts of his ridiculous physique. The rest of the lights include the inevitably rotating disco mirror ball (emphasizing the bubbles) and intense red and blue beams. At this point, THE IMAGINARY GIRLS pair off with THE DOCTOR, THE SHOE-SHINE BOY and THE TENNIS INSTRUCTOR and perform stylized versions of the types of social dancing normally attributable to persons in these fields.
|
| In the midst of this, THE REAL BOB leaps in from the left, goes immediately to the bar, has one drink, becomes instantly intoxicated and makes an ass of himself in the middle of the dance floor. Disgusted, the other couples move away from him, observing him as he decides that he needs another drink. As he gropes his way toward the bar, it is pulled offstage to the left. The other dancers back off the stage to the right. BOB’S BODY (still with bubbles coming out of it) is hoisted away, leaving BOB alone on the floor in an empty stage.
|
| (IV) BOB MEETS JANE
|
| The lights change to an exterior moonlight feel. From the left, pushing a chrome supermarket cart full of clothes and parcels tied with string, JANE enters. She is wearing a special costume which appears to be three ancient raggedy overcoats, worn one on top of the other, and a horrible felt hat which conceals her face. Her feet are wrapped in newspaper and string (special shoes which look like that). She is obviously a homeless Bag Lady making her nightly rounds before settling down in the street for her desperate slumber. As she arrives with her worldly treasures and searches the stage for a suitable place to sleep, BOB, still on the floor from the last scene, sees JANE and remains very still, hoping she won’t notice him… because he thinks she is DISGUSTING.
|
| At last, JANE finds her spot and settles down. She has noticed BOB but she doesn’t care how disgusting he is, so long as he doesn’t mess with the stuff she has in her basket.
|
| (V) JANE’S CLOTHES
|
| The lights change to include shadow projections of dream-like patterns in JANE’S vicinity. Smoke hovers near the floor. Writhing in her sleep, as BOB watches in amazement, JANE emerges from her horrible overcoat cocoon as a beautiful girl… totally nude except for the newspaper and string wrapped around her feet. The overcoat and hat are left in a pile on the stage to dream on by themselves. The NEW IMPROVED JANE takes various treasured items from the basket. She pretends to try on various pieces of ragged clothing, tossing each garment on the overcoat as she finishes. BOB moves around the stage, observing, but not believing, what he sees.
|
| (VI) WHAT JANE’S BODY REALLY LOOKS LIKE
|
| In the midst of this, an enormous inflatable replica of a genuinely disgusting version of JANE’S NUDE BODY is lowered to the stage causing BOB to recoil in terror, as he obviously prefers THE OTHER JANE. The lighting changes, casting purple and red shadows from below the inflatable monstrosity making it look even worse. The beautiful naked OTHER JANE dances around it, laughing at BOB… as his inflatable replica appears again, also made uglier by the low-angle lighting effect. THE REAL BOB tries to keep the beautiful naked OTHER JANE from looking at his replica. The bubbles start coming out again as both replicas are deflated and the dancers disappear into the darkness on opposite sides of the stage. As the curtains close, the stage holds only two empty gas-bag replicas (in the ugly light) and the debris around the supermarket cart lit from above with a bright spotlight as if it had been the star of the show.
|
English text from site Zappa Books. |
|