| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Ooh!
|
| La-la la-la-la la-ra-la-la la-la-la
|
| La-la la-la-la la-ra-la-la la-laaaah!
|
|
|
| Aynsley Dunbar!
|
|
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
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| Ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya
|
|
|
| Hoopla!
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| Oink! Oink!
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| La la la la
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|
|
| Aah!
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|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
|
| Ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya
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| Ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya ya-ya-ya
|
| La la-la la-la-la
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| La-la la-la-la-la la-la la-la
|
| La-la la-la-la la-ra-la-la la-la-la
|
| Mud shark
|
| [FZ] That’s right, you heard right: the secret word for tonight is “mud shark”! And of course with the “mud shark” secret word is the mud shark arpeggio…
|
| A marvelous lil’ arpeggio, and now the mating call of the adult male mud shark.
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| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] THE MUD SHARK DANCING LESSON!
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| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [Mark Volman] Wait a minute, we’re gonna do a little dancing… a little dancing thing called “The mud shark”. Now, this dance started up in Seattle.
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Yes
|
| [Mark Volman] The story…
|
| [FZ] Lemme tell you the story ‘bout the mud shark
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| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] (Bring the band on down behind me, boys)
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Say! Good God! Ain’t it funky! Say!
|
| [FZ] The origins of the mud shark are as follows…
|
| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] There’s a motel in Seattle, Washington, called “The Edgewater Inn”. The Edgewater Inn is built out on a pier, so that means that when you look out your window you don’t see any dirt, it’s… got a bay or something out in your backyard.
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| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] And to make it even more interesting, in the lobby of the aforementioned motel there’s a bait and tackle shop where the residents can go down and, whenever they want to, rent a fishing pole and some preserved minnows and schlep back up to their rooms, open the window, stick their little pole outside and within a few minutes actually catch a fish of some sort that they can bring into their motel room and do whatever they want with it, you know what I mean?
|
| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] Now, in this bay there’s quite a variety of… fish!
|
| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] Not only do they have mud sharks up there, they got little octopuses that you can catch
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| Fish!
|
| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] And all of these denizens of the deep can come in real handy
|
| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] Let’s say you were a travelling rock & roll band called “The Vanilla Fudge”
|
| Let’s say one night you checked into the Edgewater Inn with an 8mm movie camera…
|
| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] Enough money to rent a pole, and just to make it more interesting…
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| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] A succulent young lady…
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| [Howard Kaylan] Nooo!
|
| [FZ] With a taste for the bizarre!
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| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] My mind drifts back, to a meeting, a chance meeting in the Chicago O’Hare airport…
|
| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] Where the members of the Vanilla Fudge told Don Preston about a home movie they made at the Edgewater Inn, with a mud shark!
|
| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [FZ] And I’m gonna tell you, this dance, the mud shark, is sweeping the ocean!
|
| Hey!
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| Mud sh-sh-shark
|
| [Mark Volman] Ah, we’re goin’! Go ‘head! Ah, we’re goin’! Now we’re gonna go out, somehow! Come on!
|
|
|
| Out
|
| You go out
|
| So far out
|
| You do the mud shark, baby
|
|
|
| Out
|
| You go out
|
| So far out
|
| You do the mud shark, baby
|
| Now show ‘em what they do with the mud shark!
|
|
|
| Out
|
| You go out
|
| Now show ‘em what they do with the mud shark!
|
| So far out
|
| You do the mud shark, baby
|
| Hey!
|
|
|
| Out
|
| You go out
|
| Catch the mud shark
|
| So far out
|
| You do the mud shark, baby
|
|
|
| Out
|
| You go out
|
| So far out
|
| You do the mud shark, baby
|
| [Repeat]
|
| [Howard Kaylan] What’s a girl like you doin’ in a place like this?
|
| [Mark Volman] I left my place after midnight and I came to this hall
|
| Me and my girlfriend, we came here lookin’ to ball
|
| [Howard Kaylan] You came to the right place, this is it
|
| This is the swingin’-est place in New York City
|
| No shit!
|
|
|
| [Mark Volman] How true that is!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Oh, how true indeed
|
| [Mark Volman] Yeah, me and my… me and my girlfriend, we come here every Friday an’ Saturday night looking for that hot romance we need
|
| We like to get it on. Do you like to get it on, too?
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Well, now, what did you have in mind?
|
| [Mark Volman] Well, I’ll tell ya: well, I get off bein’ juked with a baby octopus and spewed upon with creamed corn
|
| An’ my girlfriend, she digs it with a hot Yoo-hoo bottle while somebody’s screamin’:
|
| “CORKS AN’ SAFETIES, PIGS AN’ DONKEYS”
|
| ALICE COOPER, BABY, WAAAAH!
|
|
|
| [Bob Harris] Well, it gets me so hot I could scream:
|
| ALICE COOPER, ALICE COOPER! WAAAAH!
|
| ALICE COOPER, ALICE COOPER! WAAAAH!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] You two chicks sound real far out and groovy. Ever been to a Holiday Inn?
|
| Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa
|
| Magic Fingers in the bed ▶ (Picture it!), wall-mounted TV screen
|
| Coffee-Host plugged into the bathroom wall, Formica’s really keen!
|
|
|
| [Chorus] What kind of girl?
|
| What kind of girl do you think we are?
|
| What kind of girl?
|
| What kind of girl do you think we are?
|
| I ain’t no groupie
|
| Don’t call us “groupies”, that is going too far
|
| What kind of girl?
|
| We wouldn’t ball you just because you’re a star
|
| [FZ] These girls wouldn’t let just anybody… spew on their vital parts
|
| They want a guy from a group with a big hit single in the charts!
|
|
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Funny you should mention it: our new single made the charts this week with a bullet!
|
| With a bullet!
|
| Just let me put a little more rancid Budweiser on my beard right now, baby, and you can show me how a young girl such as you might be THRILLED and overwhelmed by me, ho-ho
|
| [Mark Volman] What hotel did you say you were staying at?
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Wanna split right away?
|
| [Mark Volman] Not so fast, you silly boy. There’s one thing I gotta say:
|
|
|
| We want a guy from a group who’s got a thing in the charts
|
| We want a guy from a group who’s got a thing in the charts
|
| We want a guy from a group who’s got a thing in the charts
|
| We want a guy from a group who’s got a thing in the charts
|
| And if his dick is a monster…
|
| If his dick is a monster…
|
| If his dick is a monster…
|
| They will give him their hearts
|
|
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Hold it! Please hold it!
|
| My God, Madge ▶, you voluptuous New York City slit
|
| Why didn’t you tell me before? It was so hard to tell with your little blousey-poo on, but, now that I see you… I would have helped, I didn’t know you were so obviously pregnant.
|
|
|
| I’ve got the thing you need
|
| I am endowed beyond your wildest
|
| Clearasil-spattered fantasies
|
| Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah aah
|
|
|
| Girls from all over the world
|
| Flock to write my name on the toilet walls
|
| Of the Whisky a Go Go
|
| For I AM BWANA DIK
|
| I AM BWANA DIK
|
| ME BWANA DIK
|
| YO! ME BWANA DIK!
|
| SAY!
|
|
|
| My dick is a monster
|
| Give me your heart
|
| Bwana Dik is a legend, enormous thou art
|
| My dick is a Harley
|
| You kick it to start
|
| Bwana Dik speaks, the heavens will part
|
| My dick is a dagger
|
| I’ll force it to fit
|
| My dick is a reamer, baby
|
| To scream up your slit
|
| Steam it! Ream it! Cream it!
|
| Mud shark
|
| Mud shark
|
|
|
| You can hear the steam, baby
|
| You can hear the screamin’ steam right now
|
| As the reamer steams up the lake
|
| Reenie weenie up to the snake
|
|
|
| Acetylene nirvana hemorrhoids
|
| Talkin’ ‘bout your hemorrhoids, baby
|
| Acetylene nirvana hemorrhoids
|
| Talkin’ ‘bout your hemorrhoids, baby
|
|
|
| Steam roller
|
| Talkin’ ‘bout your hemorrhoids, baby
|
| Steam roller
|
| Steam roller
|
| I’m talkin’ ‘bout your hemorrhoids, baby
|
| Steam roller
|
| Not now, girl
|
|
|
| Acetylene nirvana hemorrhoids
|
| Talkin’ ‘bout your hemorrhoids, baby
|
| Acetylene nirvana hemorrhoids
|
| Talkin’ ‘bout your hemorrhoids, baby
|
|
|
| I need somebody to…
|
| Help me
|
| Help me
|
| Help me
|
| Help me
|
| Help me
|
| Help me
|
| Help me
|
|
|
| Hear the steam
|
| See the steam
|
| Hear the steam
|
| Hear the screaming hot black steaming
|
| Iridescent Naugahyde python’s gleaming
|
| Steam roller
|
| Mud shark
|
|
|
| All groupies must bow down
|
| In the sacred presence of the Latex Solar Beef
|
| All groupies must bow down
|
| In the sacred presence of the Latex Solar Beef
|
|
|
| Steam roller
|
| Talkin’ ‘bout your hemorrhoids, baby
|
| Steam roller
|
| Steam roller
|
| Talkin’ ‘bout your hemorrhoids, mama
|
| Steam roller
|
| Gooey piles, baby!
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
| [Mark Volman] I mean really…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Rant-rant-rant-rt-rt-rt-rant-nt
|
| [Mark Volman] You are… You gotta tell me som—. I mean seriously, I’m tellin’ you, this is the first time that any of my girlfriends and I have ever met anybody really from Hollywood. I mean, really, my girlfriend Jim and Ian and Aynsley and Bob and Frank, I mean, none of us… we’ve never…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Pleased to meet you
|
| [Ian Underwood] Hi, Howie
|
| [Mark Volman] We’ve never met a pop-star from Hollywood. Tell me something, have you ever met Davy Jones, or…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] No
|
| [Mark Volman] Or Bobby Sherman?
|
| [Howard Kaylan] No, I…
|
| [Mark Volman] I mean, David Cassidy, he’s so…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] No. Jimmy Greenspoon, and once I…
|
| [Mark Volman] Three Dog Night?
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Yeah
|
| [Mark Volman] Oh! I love them! They’re my favorite band! Oh God, oh, do you like my new car? My dad just gave it to me for graduation.
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Oh yeah! It’s a… It’s a Fillmore, isn’t it? Real futuristic, ah. I dig the fins. Listen, do you know how to get to the uh… Holiday Inn from here?
|
| [Mark Volman] No, uh… which one is it?
|
| [Howard Kaylan] (BURP - Excuse me) It’s… It’s… It’s the one by the airport, you know, ‘cause we gotta… we gotta get up early an’ fly outta here in the morning, you know?
|
| [Mark Volman] Oh! Oh, I didn’t know that.
|
| Oh yeah!
|
| [Mark Volman] Where… Where d’you guys play tomorrow night? I mean, I’d like to come maybe in your bus or somethin’.
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Yeah?
|
| In the bus!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Come in the bus, huh? Tomorrow we’re in uh… let’s see, Tierra del Fuego.
|
| [Mark Volman] Oh, you’re so professional, Howie!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Oh, it’s not…
|
| [Mark Volman] Howie, I mean…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] It’s nothing
|
| [Mark Volman] I mean the way you’re gettin’ to p— to play in all these exotic places, I mean…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Yeah
|
| [Mark Volman] Tell me something, tell me and all my girl— tell me: do you really have a hit record on the charts now with a BULLET? I mean that’s really important to me.
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Listen, honey, would I lie to you just to get in your pants?
|
| [Mark Volman] He-Hey! Listen!
|
| [Jim Pons] Hey hey
|
| [Mark Volman] Hey, listen to me, tell him: “WE ARE NOT GROUPIES!”
|
| [Howard Kaylan] No, I never… I never said that
|
| [Mark Volman] We’re not groupies! You better understand, I told Robert Plant it, I told Elton John, I told all those big guys.
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Robert Planet?
|
| [Mark Volman] We are not groupies!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] No, I never…
|
| [Mark Volman] Roger Daltrey never laid a hand on me!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] No, I never… I… It’s obvious to see why. Listen, I’ve never…
|
| [Mark Volman] And my…
|
| [Jim Pons] Howard…
|
| [Mark Volman] Tell him! Tell him right now!
|
| [Jim Pons] We only like musicians for f-friends, you know?
|
| [FZ] Real straight arrow, Howie
|
| [Mark Volman] Really, just for friends, Howie
|
| [Jim Pons] But we still like you
|
| [FZ] Yeah, we wouldn’t mind coming in your bus, though
|
| [Jim Pons] I mean, we still want to hear your record
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Listen, you chicks, now didn’t… didn’t you just say that you got off bein’ juked with a BABY OCTOPUS and spewed upon with creamed corn, an’ that your harelipped dyke-o bass-playing girlfriend on the backseat had to have it with a Yoo-hoo bottle or she went apeshit?
|
| [Mark Volman] Oh
|
| [Howard Kaylan] What’s the deal, baby?
|
| [Mark Volman] Howie!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Come on
|
| [Mark Volman] Howie, listen to me, all that’s true
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Come across, like… you know?
|
| [Mark Volman] I swear, all that’s true, and sometimes I even dig it with a Dr. Brown’s cream soda or a Cel-Ray! BUT we are NOT groupies! No matter what you think.
|
| [Howard Kaylan] No, I never…
|
| [Mark Volman] We are not groupies
|
| [Howard Kaylan] You see, there seems to be some kind of a communications problem, honey, because I… I’m a lonely guy from outta town, you know, an’… an’ I want some action. What… What I’m talkin’ about is, I wanna… a-a steaming, succulent, ever-widening, gooey, drippy, runny kind of a hole with a… with… How shall I put this? What say we hop in the trunk of your Gremlin an’ get our rocks off?
|
| [Mark Volman] Hey! Hey-hey-hey-heyyyy, Jesus!
|
| [FZ] Very agile, Howie, very agile!
|
| [Mark Volman] I’m in this band, man, I am in this band no matter what we do up here, you know. Now listen, it just so happens…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Yeah
|
| [Mark Volman] Tonight me and my girlfriends, I mean, we’ve all come here for one thing tonight…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Yeah?
|
| [Mark Volman] Looking for a guy. And we’re looking for a guy from a group…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Wow!
|
| [Mark Volman] BUT HE’S GOTTA HAVE A DICK!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] NO!
|
| [Mark Volman] AND HE’S GOTTA HAVE A DICK THAT’S A MONSTER!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] WAAAAAAAAH! That’s me! That’s me! Oh… oh, you voluptuous Manhattan Island clit.
|
| [FZ] Swear he was a Manhattan Island
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Take me, I’m yours, you hole, fulfill my WILDEST DREAMS!
|
| [Mark Volman] Ooooh! Anything for you, my most seductive, seclusive, pop-star of a man.
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Yeah?
|
| [Mark Volman] Picture this if you can…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Oh
|
| [Mark Volman] Bead jobs!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Oh!
|
| [Mark Volman] Knotted nylons!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Oh!
|
| [Mark Volman] Bamboo canes!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Oh!
|
| [Mark Volman] Three unreleased recordings of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young fighting in the dressing-room of the Fillmore East!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Oh!
|
| [Mark Volman] One enchilada wrapped with pickle sauce shoved up and down in between a donkey’s legs until he can’t stand it no more! All this and more, Howie, INCLUDING an electric cooled pony harness, with fuel injection… fuel injection… fuel injection.
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Oh my God, I… I… I CAN’T STAND IT! I mean… I mean, do you understand the implications of what I’m saying? I… I CAN’T STAND IT! I CAN’T STAND IT! I CAN’T STAND IT! I CAN’T STAND IT! I CAN’T STAND… FEET ON FIRE… I’M GOING HOME! I GOTTA SEE MY BABY! I GONNA… SO HOT! I CAN’T STAND IT! I CAN’T STAND IT! I CAN’T STAND IT! I CAN’T STAND IT… I CAN’T STAND IT… I CAN’T STAND IT! I CAN’T STAND IT! I CAN’T… OH! OH NO! OH MY GOD!
|
| I can’t stand it! Oh, I really can’t stand it, please give it to me… give it to me right here in the trunk of your Gremlin, give me… GIVE ME THE ENCHILADA WITH THE PICKLE SAUCE SHOVED UP AND DOWN THE DONKEY’S ASS UNTIL HE CAN’T COME ANYMORE!
|
| [Mark Volman] Hey hey! Not until you sing me your big hit record! And I wanna hear the big hit record, and I wanna hear it now, an’ I wanna hear the big hit record now with a BULLET! With a BULLET!
|
| [Howard Kaylan] The bullet?
|
| [Mark Volman] The BULLET! The BULLET! It’s the part that gets me the hottest. Now sing me that record, and I wanna hear it right now or you ain’t driving nowhere tonight, buddy.
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Well, I know when I’m licked, all over. OK, baby, bend over and spread ‘em! Here comes my BULLETS!
|
| Say!
|
|
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Imagine me and you
|
| I do
|
| I think about you day and night
|
| It’s only right
|
| To think about the girl you love
|
| And hold her tight
|
| So happy together!
|
|
|
| If I should call you up
|
| Call you up
|
| Invest a dime
|
| And you say you belong to me
|
| Ease my mind
|
| And ease my mind
|
| Imagine how the world could be
|
| Very fine
|
| So very fine
|
| So happy together!
|
|
|
| [Mark Volman] Just like a big rock show, if you wanna sing along
|
|
|
| I can’t see me lovin’ nobody but you for all my life!
|
| When you’re with me, baby, the skies will be blue for all my life!
|
|
|
| [Mark Volman] Everybody sing along like a big rock show, come on!
|
|
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
|
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
|
|
| ONE MORE TIME!
|
|
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa pa pa pa
|
| Pa pa pa pa
|
|
|
| [FZ] We’d like to thank you very much for comin’ to our concert tonight
|
| I know that uh… in a way it’s sad that Bill Graham is closin’ down the Fillmore, but uh… I’m sure he’ll get into somethin’ better. It’s been lovely, workin’ for you this evenin’. Good night!
|
|
|
| Good night
|
| Good night, good night
|
| Good night, boys and girls!
|
| Good night, good night
|
| Good night, good night, boys and girls!
|
| Good night
|
| Good night, boys and girls!
|
| Wow!
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| The writing’s on the wall
|
| ‘Cause there was nothing I could say
|
| She took the car and drove away
|
|
|
| And now I’m sittin’ here all alone
|
| Without no love of my own
|
| That’s when the tears began to fall
|
| ‘Cause I ain’t got no love at all
|
|
|
| Tears began to fall and fall and fall down my shirt
|
| ‘Cause I feel so hurt since my baby drove away
|
|
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| And tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall and fall and fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
|
|
| Ay ay ay aaaah
|
| Ay ay ay aaaah
|
| Ay-ay ay ay-ay aaaah
|
| Ay-ay ay ay-ay aaaah
|
|
|
| And now I’m sittin’ here all alone
|
| Without no love of my own
|
| Without no love of my own
|
| Without no love of my own
|
|
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
|
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
|
|
| Now!
|
|
|
| Tears began to fall and fall and fall down my shirt
|
| ‘Cause I feel so hurt since my baby drove away
|
|
|
| Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
|
|
| Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall again
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
| Tears began to fall
|
|
|
| Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-waaah
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 Design by Cal Schenkel and Frank Zappa.jpg "(Front) Design by Cal Schenkel and Frank Zappa")
 Design by Cal Schenkel and Frank Zappa.jpg "(Back) Design by Cal Schenkel and Frank Zappa")
Songs list
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Title origin
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Listen original song on YouTube
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