(Front) Photo by Molly Stein (Back)

Live at The Palladium, NYC, NY - October 27-31, 1978

Halloween

 

  1 NYC audience
  2 Ancient armaments
  3 Dancin’ fool
  4 Easy meat
  5 Magic Fingers
  6 Don’t eat the yellow snow
  7 Conehead
  8 “Zeets” [Vinnie Colaiuta]
  9 Stink-foot
10 Dinah-moe humm
11 Camarillo Brillo
12 Muffin man
13 Black napkins (The deathless horsie)

 

All compositions by Frank Zappa, except as noted above.


Album notes by Molly Stein - October 2002
“FRANK’S BACK”
As are all things Zappa, this one can only be tiled under “weird”.
I had been dreaming a lot about Frank at the time - my usual FZ sort of dream - in which something strange or funny or tragic is happening, and he’s always just sitting there smoking… very matter of fact… bored… just watching the human condition as it plays out before him.
Early one morning after I’d had one of my FZ dreams, I was driving to a photo shoot and still only barely awake, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a sign that said: “FRANK IS BACK”. I almost drove off of the road. I managed to pull the car over, and noticed that there was this little ghost situated under the sign with an American flag hanging right beside it. I had to laugh. Then, I took this picture.
At the time, I thought if Frank ever did come back that this would probably be how he’d do it.
Album notes by Carl Baugher - October 2002
A 5.1 HALLOWEEN WITH FRANK ZAPPA
When DTS approached the Zappa Family to propose what became the release you are now greedily fondling, synchronicity was surely in the air. Consider, for instance, that the source material eventually settled on by Vaultmeister Joe Travers and Dweezil Zappa was originally recorded live to 24 track analog tape by engineer Joe Ciccarelli in 1978. Guess who DTS proposed as the person to mix the 5.1 version of whatever the Zappas came up with? You guessed it, the very same Joe C. And what about the fact that FZ himself was way ahead of the techno-curve (as usual) back in the seventies (quad), through to digital and into the early nineties with his multi-channel (6!) playback system at home? It’s quite clear that Frank envisioned his multi-track recordings in a multi-channel format. Sounds like a lot of stuff that’s somehow supposed to happen, right? FZ masters and a DTS 5.1 mix. What could be more natural? Well, as it turns out, that’s exactly what it is. And you’re holding the rather spectacular proof.
OK, so what we have here is a brand new 5.1 mix from the 24 track analog originals. After the 1978 Halloween shows (of which there were five, culminating with an approximately four-hour show on Halloween night), FZ went into the studio and physically excised masters from the original tapes with a razor blade. The stuff he liked best he compiled together on master reels. The rest of the stuff is scattered across dozens of reels. When it came time to put together this disc, the issue of sequencing, pacing and continuity became the order of the day. In other words, Joe and Dweezil needed to come up with about 70 minutes that played like a show, with all the ebb and flow and peaks and valleys of a continuous performance.
The only answer was to go back to the vault, find all the original material, listen to it and decide what should go on the finished program. It was a long, tedious task, to say the least. The starting point, of course, were FZ’s preferred performances. The result is that about half of the tunes you hear were FZ’s personal choices and the other half were laboriously (and intelligently, I might add) compiled by Joe and Dweezil from the vault tapes. So what they ended up with was a sort of super Halloween show from 1978 that sounds and feels like a single performance.
The 5.1 mix allows you to hear considerably more detail from the original multi-track tapes than was ever possible before. Details like the rear-hall, slap-back echo of Frank’s guitar. Or the same type of ambient trail on the dynamic rack toms. Or the subtle differences between the two electric basses. I could go on and on but you’ll hear it all. Of course, there’s also the use of audience ambiance. This mix really places you in the middle of the hall. Close your eyes and you’re damned near transported to The Palladium on that date. I swear it’s that convincing.
But exciting as this multi-channel mix most certainly is, the most important thing with any FZ release is the music and performances. A little background is in order. Frank Zappa had a special fondness for Halloween, his Favorite Holiday. And there was something about that annual concert series in New York City that seemed to always conjure up memorable, and in some instances, magical performances. The 1978 shows were full of many such moments. These shows also happen to feature one of the most technically adept and interestingly configured bands of FZ’s career. Consider that the ‘78 Halloween band featured two of everything: basses, guitars, keyboards and percussion. A double quartet, so to speak.
And what players! Has there ever been a better drummer than Vinnie Colaiuta? Add to Vinnie’s seemingly impossible mastery of meter the tuned percussion of Ed Mann and there’s not much in the rhythm department left unattended. And what about the amazing tandem basses of fretless Patrick O’Hearn and fretted Arthur Barrow? These guys not only stayed out of each other’s way but they provided fascinating counterpoint to each other. When not playing perfect unison lines together, that is. Denny Walley’s guitar playing and vocal support were key elements and the two keyboardists (Tommy Mars and Peter Wolf) provided the kind of harmonic underpinning to Zappa’s complex arrangements that often bordered on orchestral. And for a little spice on top, how about the electric violin soloing of special guest L. Shankar? Whew.


It bears repeating: this really is a time capsule experience thanks to the realism of the mix and the intensity of the performances. But one thing is certain: you will be returned to the present when this disc is finished playing.
That’s why I’m going back to Halloween 1978 with Frank Zappa right now.
In DTS 5.1.
Again and again. Any time I feel like it.

1. NYC audience


[Instrumental]

2. Ancient armaments


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] “Ancient armaments” was previously available, albeit briefly, as a B side to “I don’t wanna get drafted”. The opener here (as it was at the Halloween show) features FZ’s probing, virtuosic guitar solo. Of particular note is the way Vinnie’s drums suspend and comment on the rhythmic pulse while the basses keep everything moving forward. The dialog between the drums and lead guitar offers a fascinating glimpse at FZ’s concept within the context of the composition. To call it a brilliant tour de force would not be overstating the case.
 
[Instrumental]
 

[FZ] Awright. This is it, this is The Big One!
Happy Halloween everybody!
 
(Hi, Debbie)
 
[Guy in the audience] THIS IS FRANK ZAPPA ON HALLOWEEN, HE’S LIKE GUY LOMBARDO ON NEW YEARS!
[FZ] Awright. Let me tell you what I’m gonna do tonight. Tonight, since this is The Big One, we’re going to play a very long show. I hope… I hope you people aren’t in a hurry to get home. (Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Keep it. OK. What am I supposed to do with this? Write on it? Alright. Look, look. Here, here. I’ll tell ya… Whose was this? Hey! Don’t mash each other, move back). Now look (Hi!) what we’re going to do, for those of you who have been here before… (Stop! Stop! Stop! Silence! Listen! Here). An important announcement: for those of you who have been here before John. We are going to play a whole… We’re gonna play a whole collection of stuff that we don’t normally do. But before we do that… we are going to play our normal show for those of you who haven’t seen any of the other shows. So, if you already know the songs to the normal show, sing along. And if you don’t, hope you enjoy it. Let me… Let me introduce ya to the members of our rocking teen-age combo:
This is Vince Colaiuta on drums
Arthur Barrow on bass
Patrick O’Hearn on bass
Tommy Mars on keyboards
Denny Walley on guitar
Peter Wolf on keyboards
Ed Mann on percussion
And a little bit later on, L. Shankar on violin
OK. The name of this song is “Dancin’ fool”.

3. Dancin’ fool


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] “Dancing fool” picks up the tempo (second of the two tunes in their original sequence from the Halloween show) with a level of ensemble precision that is downright dazzling. The depth of the new mix is especially impressive. Listen to the background vocals and keyboards. Frank has fun with the audience and seems to be enjoying himself immensely.
 
[FZ] One, two, three, four
 
I don’t know much about dancin’, that’s why I got this song

One of my legs is shorter than the other an’ both my feet’s too long
‘Course now right along with ‘em, I got no natural rhythm
But I go dancin’ every night, hopin’ one day I might get it right
 
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
 
I hear that beat, I jump outta my seat, but I can’t compete
‘Cause I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
 
The disco folks all dressed up like they’s fit to kill
I walk on in an’ see ‘em there gonna give them all a thrill
When they see me comin’ they all steps aside
They has a fit while I commit my social suicide
 
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
 
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
Wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
Wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
Wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
Wrong
 
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
 
I may be totally wrong but I’m a… dancin’ fool
I may be totally wrong but I’m a… dancin’ fool
 
I got it all together now with my very own disco clothes, hey!
My shirt’s half open, just t’show you my chain an’ the spoon for up my nose
“I am really somethin’”, that’s what you’d probably say
So smoke your little smoke, drink your little drink, while I dance all night away
 
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
He’s a… dancin’ fool
 
I may be totally wrong but I’m a…
I may be totally wrong but I’m a…
I may be totally wrong but I’m a…
I may be totally wrong but I’m a FOOL-UH
Yeah!
 
Say, darlin’… can I buy ya a drink?
Ki-ni-shinai!
Are you lookin’ for Mister Goodbar?
You look like you’re lookin’ for Mister Goodbar
Ki-ni-shinai!
Wait a minute… I’ve got it… you’re an Italian!
You’re Jewish?
Ki-ni-shinai!
Love your nails…
 
What sign are you?
[Girl in the audience] Pisces. Pisces!
[FZ] Oh, you like the water? Where’s that little bag?
Ki-ni-shinai!
(Wait, I can’t sign all these things right now. I gotta sing a… I gotta sing a show. Whose was this? OK)
Ki-ni-shinai!
 
Ki-ni-shinai!
Hi! How ya doin’? Come up here.
Ki-ni-shinai!
It’s my little friend from TV, huh?
[Girl from TV] Hi!
Ki-ni-shinai!
[FZ] OK. Let’s do it, let’s do it again. Just like we were on television. Ready?
Ki-ni-shinai!
Are you lookin’ for Mister Goodbar?
[Girl from TV] Yup!
Ki-ni-shinai!
[FZ] Wait a minute. I got it. You must be an Italian!
[Girl from TV] No
[FZ] You’re Jewish? Love your nails…
Ki-ni-shinai!
You must be a Libra…
No, what sign are you really?
[Girl from TV] Scorpio
[FZ] A Scorpeeeeyo. Oh, my goodness…
Ki-ni-shinai!
Your place or mine?

4. Easy meat


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] “Easy meat” (from the second show on 10/27) has an energetic Denny Walley lead vocal and a ripping FZ solo full of high-speed hammer-ons and pull-offs while the band surges behind him. Frank was really one of the very few rock guitarists who approached his solos as spontaneous compositions. That fact is abundantly evident in this “Easy meat” solo. Check out the bass harmony against the guitar melody before the vocal comes back in.
 
[Denny Walley] This girl is easy meat
I seen her on the street

See-through blouse an’ a tiny little dress
Her manner indiscreet…
I knew she was…
 
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy…
Easy, easy…
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat
 
She wanna take me home
Make me sweat and moan
Rub my head and beat me off
With a copy of Rolling Stone
I knew she was…
 
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy…
Easy, easy…
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat
 
[Instrumental]
 
[Denny Walley] I told her I was late
I had another date
I can’t get off on the Rolling Stone
But the robots think it’s great…
I knew she was…
 
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy…
Easy, easy…
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat
 
Easy…
Whoaahhh! You know the girl’s so easy
Easy…
Ohhh, I saw her tiny titties through her see-through blouse
I just had to take the girl to my house
Easy… MEAT!

5. Magic Fingers


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] Ed Mann’s percussion takes a major role in the line on “Magic fingers”, a composite performance from the 27th and 31st. Once again, ensemble execution is so tight it squeaks.
 
Ooh, the way you love me, lady
I get so hard now I could die
Ooh, the way you love me, sugar
I get so hard now I could die
 
Open up your pocketbook, get another quarter out
Drop it in the meter, mama, try me on for size
Open up your pocketbook, get another quarter out
Drop it in the meter, mama, try me on for size
 
Ooh, the way you squeeze me, baby
Red balloons just pop behind my eyes
Ooh, the way you squeeze me, girl
Red balloons just pop behind my eyes
 
Open up your pocketbook, get another quarter out
Drop it in the meter, mama, try me on for size
Open up your pocketbook, get another quarter out
Drop it in the meter, mama, try me on for size
 
Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooh
You got that kind of love that lingers
Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooh
This here bed’s got Magic Fingers
 
[FZ] Been a-rollin’ in the bed since the show got out
Now I’m gettin’ weak in the knees
Must have did it eighty, ninety times, it might have been a hundred
But you’re the kind of girl that I really wanna please
You’re the kind of girl that I really wanna please
 
Do you really wanna please me?
You know I do
Tell me why you do it? I really wanna know
Well, it wouldn’t be right for me to tell you tonight
You better tell me right away or I dress up and go!
Don’t get mad, it ain’t no big thing
You better tell me right away, don’t you treat me cold
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT
I’m holding it
It’s good for you
I’m holding it
It’s good for you
I’m holding it
It’s good for you
I’m holding it
 
Alright, Halloween people, you can let go of it now!

6. Don’t eat the yellow snow


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] The “Louie Louie” section forms a segue of sorts to the brief “Yellow snow” that was performed on the 31st.
 
[FZ] Dreamed I was an Eskimo
Frozen wind began to blow
Under my boots an’ around my toe
Frost had bit the ground below
It was a hundred degrees below zero
And my momma cried:
“You don’t really look like an Eskimo
And my momma cried again:
“You don’t really look like an Eskimo
And my momma cried one more time:
“You don’t really look like an Eskimo
Nanook, no, no
Nanook, no, no
Don’t be a naughty Eskimo
Save your money: don’t go to the show”
Well, I turned around an’ I said:
“HO HO”
Well, I turned around an’ I said:
“HO HO”
Well, I turned around an’ I said one more time:
“HO HO”
An’ the northern lites commenced t’glow
 
“WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO
AN’ DON’T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW
WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO
AN’ DON’T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW”

7. Conehead


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] This performance of “Conehead” is from the first show on the 28th and was a personal choice of FZ. It’s marvelous. The “‘Remulak” section is especially well done and is immediately followed by a mysterious electric violin solo from L. Shankar built on legato technique and minor-mode intensity.
 
[FZ] Conehead…
She ain’t really dumb
She’s just a conehead…
‘Tater chip crumbs all over her face
Is there any more beer stashed away at her place?
She’s just a conehead…
She can’t help herself
“She’s a conehead girl”
 
Pitch her a ring
That is the thing that’s getting her hot-uh
A hoop or a ring goin’ over the top
Of her conehead
 
She is from a small town in France
An’ she’s a conehead girl, you know”
 
That’s what she gives me is a, wuh
Conehead
When she’s on her knees the point is so high
High!
I keep sayin’: “Please keep it out of my eye”
‘Cause she’s a conehead
 
Remulak, Remulak, Remulak
I’m comin’ back
Remulak, Remulak, Remulak
Heh heh heh heh
Remulak, Remulak, Remulak
I’m comin’ back
Remulak, Remulak
Everybody!
 
Remulak, Remulak, Remulak
I’m comin’ back
Remulak, Remulak, Remulak
Har har har har
Remulak, Remulak, Remulak
I’m comin’ back
Remulak, Remulak
OK, Shankar, take it away!
 
[Instrumental]

8. “Zeets”


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] Once again, Vinnie turns up the heat in an incredible drum display that carries over into his solo section (called “Zeets” from Halloween night). You probably don’t need to be told what happens during the drum solo. In any case, I won’t spoil the surprise. Suffice it to say that 5.1 fans will he pleased.
 
[Instrumental]

9. Stink-foot


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] “Stink-foot” was another Halloween night performance and it’s next. FZ’s vocal is especially expressive. His vocal inflections, improvisations and phrasing are all top-notch. People sometimes forget what a good singer Frank really was. A long spoken word interaction with the crowd is the launching pad for another FZ solo and it’s a beauty. Being a guitarist himself, Dweezil has seen to it that these tracks convey some pretty amazing guitar sounds. Guitar nuts will drool over Frank’s tone throughout but especially on “Stink-foot”. Frank spins a long, twisting web of guitar invention that you can just about get lost in. If you don’t already know it, let it herein be stated again: Frank Zappa was one of the greatest electric guitarists who ever lived. The list of his true peers would be very short, especially where innovation and originality are concerned. Let’s see, Frank, Jimi Hendrix… Oh well. “Save the frenzy tor the English groups”, as Frank says.
 
[FZ] In the dark, where all the fevers grow
Under the water, where the shark bubbles blow
In the mornin’, by yer radio
Do the walls close in t’suffocate ya?
You ain’t got no friends… an’ all the others: they hate ya
Does the life you been livin’ gotta go, huh?
 
Let me straighten you out about a place I know…
(Now get yer shoes an’ socks on, people, it’s right aroun’ the corner over by Delsener’s house)
 
Out through the night an’ the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep the imaginary diseases
Out through the night an’ the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep the imaginary diseases
(That’s right!)
 
(And the an the answer to your question is… in January. OK?)
 
Now, you know, scientists call this disease… bromhidrosis
And, well, they should

But us regular folks, who might wear a tennis shoe or an occasional python boot , know this exquisite little inconvenience by the name of… STINK FOOT
(That’s right!)
 
[FZ] Wait a minute. You look… You look very familiar. Are you the guy? You’re the guy? C’mere. Get up here. Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know how many of you people were at the Garrick Theater in ‘67, in the olden days. There’s probably very few of you left but, way back when, there were… there were these two guys that used to come to all the shows back then. Called themselves “Loeb and Leopold”. Well. Maybe it was their real name. I don’t know. What is your real name?
[Mark Trottiner] Mark Trottiner

[FZ] Yes. It’s so nice to see you again. You know what this guy used to do? You know what his idea of a good time was in those days? He would run up onto the stage and he would take the microphone and he would scream into it as loud as he could and then he would lay on the stage and wait for me to spit Pepsi-Cola all over his body, right?
Whaddaya say? Heh heh heh. No, never mind. He’s all grown up now. That was ten years ago. It’s OK. Yeah. OK. Well, it’s nice to see you again. Awright. Well, I’ll get a… I’ll get some Coca-Cola and give ya a little treat there in a while. OK.
 
Scientists call this disease bromhidrosis
And, well, they should

But us regular folks, who might wear a tennis shoe or an occasional python boot , know this exquisite little inconvenience by the name of… STINK FOOT
(That’s right!)
 
You know, my python boot was too tight
Couldn’t get it off last night
A week went by, an’ now it’s July
I finally got it off an’ my girlfriend cry
She said: “STINK FOOT!
Stink foot, darlin’
Your stinkin’ foot puts the hurts on my nose!
Stink foot! Stink foot! I ain’t lyin’
Can you rinse it off, d’you suppose?”
 

Well, here Fido! Here Fido!
Bring the slippers, little puppy
Yes, that’s a good dog
And here he comes now
“Arf arf arf arf”
 
SICK!
 
[Instrumental]
 
[FZ] Awright. Awright. Awright, awright. Awreety, awrighty. OK. OK, now look. Let me explain something to you. Let me explain this to you. Just save the frenzy for the English groups. Hold it just a second. Listen. Here… Here’s my plan. Ordinarily, y’know, we’ve played in New York so many times and we do the same encore all the time. Now some of you people hate this song and some of you people wanna hear it. For those of you who hate it, sorry, we’re gonna do it for the ones who like it. But we’ll… we’ll give you something else to go along with it. The… The song in question… Here. C’mere. OK. What’s your name?
[Michelle] Michelle
[FZ] Awright, Michelle. Where’s your friend? OK. Bring your friend up here. OK. What’s your name?
[Alice] Alice
[FZ] Michelle and Alice are going to be my assistants for this song. Now. You know the part here. Just stand right there. I’ll join you momentarily. OK? The name of this song is “Dinah-moe humm”.

10. Dinah-moe humm


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] “Dinah-moe humm”, the tune some hardcore Zappa fanatics love to hate, derives from the first show on the 27th - it’s up-tempo and entertaining. The crowd eats it up, especially given the audience participation element. The bass players get a chance to discofy the tune during the “Buns up” section.
 
[FZ] One, two, three, four
 
I couldn’t say where she’s comin’ from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-moe humm
She stroll on over, say: “Look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill says you can’t make me cum
(No way! Y’ jes’ can’t do it)”
 
She made a bet with her sister who’s a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum
I don’t mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)
 
I whipped off her bloomers an’ stiffened my thumb

An’ applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked an’ stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn’t hear no Dinah-moe humm
Dinah-moe humm
 
Dinah-moe humm
Dinah-moe humm
Where’s this Dinah-moe comin’ from?
I done spent three hours an’ I ain’t got a crumb
From the Dinah-moe, Dinah-moe, Dinah-moe
From the Dinah-moe humm
 
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain’t been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot
You ain’t been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot
You ain’t been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot
You ain’t been to it
 
And I can’t get into it unless I get out of it
And I gotta be out of it before I get into it
And I can’t get into it unless I get out of it
And I gotta be out of it before I get into it
 
She looked over at me with a glazed eye and some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area, and she said, and I quote:
 
“Just get…”
[Alice] “… me wasted an’ you’re half-way there
‘Cause if my mind’s tore up then my body don’t care”
[FZ] I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin an’ said: “My-my-my
What sort of thing might this lady get high upon?”
 
The forty-dollar bill didn’t matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an’ laid on the floor
 
She said Dinah-moe might win the bet
But she could use a little (yaw!) if I wasn’t done yet
I told her just because the sun want a place in the sky
No reason to assume I wouldn’t give her a try
 
So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An’ asked if she had any cooties in there
Whaddya mean cooties? No cooties on me!
 
She was buns-up kneelin’
BUNS-UP!
I was wheelin’ an’ dealin’
WHEELIN’ AN’ DEALIN’ AN’ OOOOH!
She surrender to the feelin’
SWEETLY SURRENDERED!
She started in to squealin’
 
Dinah-moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin’ an’ her face gone red
Some drool rollin’ down from the edge of her chin
While she saw the condition her sister was in
 
She quivered an’ quaked an’ clutched at herself
Her sister made a joke about her mental health
Until Dinah-moe finally did give in

But I told her all she really needed was some discipline…
 
So I said…
Very succinctly, I said:
 
“Kiss my aura… Dora…”
(Well, come on, you can do better than that, I mean, hey!)
 
And the reason I said that was because, you see, it’s real angora
Now, would you all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An’ how ‘bout you, Fauna?
Do you wanna?
 
Awright. Now we’re going back to the beginning of the song. This time, clap your hands, please, and sing along with it if you know the words. Awright? OK? One, two, three, four.
 
You can dance if you want
 
I couldn’t say where she’s comin’ from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-moe humm
She stroll on over, say: “Look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill says you can’t make me cum
(No way! Y’ jes’ can’t do it)”
 
She made a bet with her sister who’s a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum
I don’t mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)
 
I whipped off her bloomers an’ stiffened my thumb
An’ applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked an’ stroked till my wrist got numb
An’, you know, I heard some Dinah-moe humm
Dinah-moe humm
 
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe!
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe!
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe!
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe!
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe!
Dinah-moe
Dinah-moe!
Dinah-moe
 
Awright, awright, awright, ahargh-a! OK, this… (Thank you very much for assisting me with it). Awright. Now look. Th that… That song has uh… transcended from the realm of the music musical into the realm of folklore, you know. It’s almost a ritualistic experience at this particular hall. Awright.

11. Camarillo Brillo


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] “Camarillo Brillo”, also from the 27th, has a hilarious FZ vocal variation when he goes upstairs to check out her “four-way” stereo and “chews his way through her rancid panocha”.
 
[FZ] The name of this song is “Camarillo Brillo”
One, two, three, four
 
She had that Camarillo Brillo
Flamin’ out along her head
I mean her Mendocino bean-o
By where some bugs had made it red
 

She ruled the toads of the Short Forest
And every newt in Idaho
And every cricket who had chorused
By the bush in Buffalo
 
She said she was a magic mama
And she could throw a mean tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know
 
She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn’t done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn’t come in
(Actually, I was very busy then…)
 
And so she wandered through the doorway
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An’ I’d just love it in her room
 
Well, I was born to have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets
 
She stripped away her rancid poncho
An’ laid out naked by the door
We did it till we were un-concho
An’ it was useless any more
 
She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn’t done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn’t come in
 
And so she wandered through the doorway
Just like a shadow from the tomb
You know, she said her stereo was four-way
I bet it was, you know what I mean?
An’ I would just love it, hey, up in her room, you know
You know what happens when you go up there
 
Well, I was born to have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets
 
I chewed my way through her rancid panocha
She laid buck naked over by the door
 
We did it till we were un-concho
(That’s right!)
And, oh God, it was useless any more
(That’s right!)
It was useless any more
(Put that bong down!)
Yes, it was useless any more

12. Muffin man


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] With a dramatic flourish, “Camarillo Brillo” turns into “Muffin man” and this is where the disc really gets interesting. Major guitar excitement just around the corner, kids. Hang on to your hats. With a soaring overdriven tone, FZ’s “Muffin man” solo is way too short. But the best is yet to come.
 
[FZ] That’s right: “Muffin man”
 
Girl, you thought he was a man but he was a muffin
He hung around till you found that he didn’t know nuthin’
Sing along!
 
Girl, you thought he was a man but he only was a-puffin’
No cries is heard in the night as a result of him stuffin’
Now we’re gonna stuff it in for you one time
 
[Instrumental]
 
[FZ] Awright. Now this… this is gonna be the last song. This one here is gonna be the last song. The name of this song is “Black napkins”.

13. Black napkins (The deathless horsie)


[Album notes by Carl Baugher] The “Black napkins/Deathless horsie” performance that ends this compilation (and the last song played on Halloween night) is about as special as they come. Always one of FZ’s most lyrical and beautiful themes, it’s given a tender, expansive treatment here. Frank seems to be pouring everything he has into this solo. He invents bar after bar of ceaselessly creative melody. At the risk of sounding mystical, there’s something magical going on here! FZ brings all his skill, technique and inventive imagination to bear on this tune. He begins to go further and further from the tonal center of the composition as it he was literally straining at the harmonic leash of the song. Folks, I’ve heard a lot of Frank Zappa guitar solos in my life but this one is without question the most adventurous I’ve ever heard him play. Dweezil commented: “That’s about as far as Frank ever went”. Amen. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, we’re in the land of “The deathless horsie” with the band following in a perfect transition. L. Shankar begins to play and the guitar takes a breather. Everything gets quiet and Frank’s guitar states the long, final benediction over this wonderful event filled with musical delights. Listen to that gorgeous cut-time restatement of the “Black napkins” theme by FZ toward the end. Wow. The only thing that remains is to introduce the band.
 
[Instrumental]
 
[FZ] Vinnie, Artie, Patty, Tommy, Denny, Petey, Eddie and Shankie and Frankie say thank you for coming to the concert. Happy Halloween! And see you next year.



New York - October 1978

English lyrics from site Information Is Not Knowledge.