| Notes by Lanny Waggoner on the Uptown Theater concert program
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| Frank Zappa has been an innovator on more artistic fronts than any other pop musician of his generation. He has applied his imagination to music, films, television, live performance, and to the artist’s role in the business of entertainment, with consistently intriguing results.
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| He invented the double concept album in 1966 with “Freak Out!” introducing his fluid construct, the Mothers of Invention. In 1967, he used ten members of the London Philharmonic in an Albert Hall concert which presaged the union of modern orchestral forms and rock & roll. He linked rhythm & blues, rock, and jazz with sophisticated compositional elements, and did it years before today’s familiar “fusion music”.
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| Zappa has been a pioneer in visual media as well, with the highly successful movie “200 Motels” and the extraordinary television show “A Token of His Extreme” (a Mothers concert overlaid with dazzling optical effects).
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| To the guitar, FZ has brought a conceptual and technical mastery second to none. As perhaps the most complete electric guitarist in pop music, he can do more with the instrument, exhibit more directed thought in his playing than anyone else I have heard.
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| While other groups might shiver at the thought of personnel changes, FZ has adroitly modified his group’s makeup as musical needs have changed. He has displayed great sensitivity to what each musician’s personality could offer and has given these individuals the opportunity to expand themselves, both musically and theatrically, within the group context.
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| With an equal allegiance to Greaser Rock and complex compositional ideas, Frank has created a contemporary American music that has attracted fanatics worldwide.
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| Each album, whether Mothers, Zappa solo, or a special project, exists in its own time frame, but all are linked, as are his film and television presentations (even his press interviews) by the organizing precept of “Conceptual Continuity”. This unifying structure gives him conscious control of the thematic and structural elements of his work ▶, and veteran Zappa-watchers long ago learned to spot ideas, catch-words, and musical themes which surface in various phases of Frank’s work.
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| He has done all of this with a pointed sense of humor (often directed at himself) while carrying on a fierce bombardment of modern conventions and hypocrisies. His straight talk and clear thinking have made him the most quotable person in pop music. His integrity throughout, and his refusal to tie his individualism to causes or mass movements have been his trademark in an industry that thrives on imitation.
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| One, two, three, four
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| Don’t know much about dancin’, that’s why I got this song
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| One of my legs is shorter than the other ▶ an’ both my feet’s too long
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| ‘Course now right along with ‘em, got no natural rhythm
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| But I go dancin’ every night, hopin’ one day I might get it right
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| Dancin’ fool
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| Dancin’ fool
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| I hear that beat, I jump outta my seat, but I can’t compete
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| ‘Cause I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| Dancin’ fool
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| Disco folks all dressed up like they’s fit to kill
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| Walk on in an’ see ‘em there I’m gonna give them all a thrill
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| When they see me comin’ they all steps aside
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| They has a fit while I commit my social suicide
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| Dancin’ fool
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| Dancin’ fool
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| Dancin’ fool
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| Dancin’ fool
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| The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
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| WRONG!
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| The beat goes on… (And what are you?) an’ I’m so wrong
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| WRONG!
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| The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
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| The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
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| The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
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| The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
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| I may be totally wrong but I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| I may be totally wrong but I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| ✄ Yowsa, yowsa, yowsa
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| Oh yeah!
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| I got it all together now with my very own disco clothes, hey!
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| My shirt’s half open, to show you my chain an’ the spoon for up my nose
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| “I am really somethin’”, that’s what you’d probably say
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| So smoke your little smoke, drink your little drink, while I dance all night away
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| Dancin’ fool
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| Dancin’ fool
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| I’m a… dancin’ fool
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| HE’S A… DANCIN’ FOOL
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| I may be totally wrong but I’m a…
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| I may be totally wrong but I’m a…
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| I may be totally wrong but I’m a…
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| I may be totally wrong but I’m a FOOL-UH!
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| Oh yeah!
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| Say, darlin’… can I buy you a drink?
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| Ki-ni-shinai!
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| Are you lookin’ for Mister Goodbar? Yes, oh good…
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| Wait a minute… I’ve got it… you’re an Italian!
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| Ki-ni-shinai!
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| No? You’re Jewish?
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| Love your nails…
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| You must be a Libra…
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| Ki-ni-shinai!
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| Your place or mine?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)
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| His fav’rite phrase was “Outa-site”
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| He had an Irish Setter
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| Hratche-plche hratche-plche hratche-plche arf
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| It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
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| The moon was dim, the band was tight
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| They did the Bump together
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| What a splendid sight
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| La-la la-la
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| Her teeth were white
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| The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite)
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| He was glad that he met her
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| She was an office girl, “My name is Betty”
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| Her fav’rite group was Helen Reddy
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| (They discussed the weather!)
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a MAN!
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| She was a lonely sort, just a little too short
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| Her jokes were dumb and her fav’rite sport
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| Was hockey (in the winter)
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| [Mumble]
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| He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
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| Any sport with a PUCK had to be ‘bout the best
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| As he jabbed his elbow in her
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| [Mumble]
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| Later on they went off to where the music was soft
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| The candles were drippy, they saw a real hippy
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| Who delivered their dinner
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| The rice was brown and soon they found
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| That the crowd around that had jammed the room
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| Well, it seemed to be getting thinner
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a MAN!
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| He took her home to a motor court
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| She wouldn’t kiss him, he tried to ignore it
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| But it made him angry!
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| [Mumble]
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| He called her a slut
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| Slut slut slut
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| A pig
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| Pig pig pig
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| And a whore
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| Whore whore whore
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| A bitch
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| Bitch bitch bitch
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| And a cunt
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| Cunt cunt cunt
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| And she slammed
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| Slammed slammed slammed
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| The door
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| THE DOOR!
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| In a petulant frenzy!
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| A petulant frenzy!
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| This is a petulant frenzy!
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| Ooh!
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| I’m petulant
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| And I’m having a frenzy!
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| On the sofa she weeps
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| BOO HOO HOO HOO!
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| She weeps and she weeps
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| BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!
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| She weeps and she peeps through the curtain
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| He just got in his car
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| But the battery’s dead
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| So he has to use the phone
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| And she gives him some head
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| And that’s the end of the story
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
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| Honey, honey, hey
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a…
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| Baby, don’t you want a MAN!
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| Baby, don’t you want a MAN sometimes?
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Roll it over an’ grease it down, I’ll drive you through the heart of town
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Roll it over an’ grease it down, I’ll drive you through the heart of town
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| Hey, the good women, they sure has it tough
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| The good men, well, there just ain’t enough
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| All you good girls are lookin’ all the time
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| Good men is something that y’all can’t find
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| And if you find one miraculously
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| You’ll try to be lovin’ as y’all can be
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| And if you find one and let him go
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| Chances are they might not never find one no mo’
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| So they…
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Roll it over an’ grease it down, I’ll drive you through the heart of town
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| A good lovin’ man is hardest to find
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| A good woman needs to ease her mind
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| And I know a few that need to ease it behind
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| All y’gotta do is grease it down an’ everything is fine
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Roll it over an’ grease it down, I’ll drive you through the heart of town
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| A girl don’t need
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| Tell me
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| No fancy grease
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| To get herself
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| You know it’s true
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| Some rump release
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| Point
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| Any kind
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| Of lube’ll do
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| Maybe from another
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| Part of you
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| Lube from the North
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| Lube from the South
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| Take a little slobber
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| From the side of your mouth
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| Roll it over
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| Grease it down
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| Here come that crazy screamin’ sound…
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Keep it greasy, so it’ll go down easy
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| Roll it over an’ grease it down, down, down
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| GREASE IT DOWN
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| I grease it down!
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| Down! Dow-hown! Oh, girl!
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| Goin’ back home to the village of the sun
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| Out in back of Palmdale, where the turkey farmers run
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| I done made up my mind and I know I’m gonna go to Sun
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| Village, good God, I hope the wind don’t blow
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| It take the paint off your car and wreck your windshield too
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| I don’t know how the people stand it, but I guess they do
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| ‘Cause they’re all still there (even Johnny Franklin too)
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| In the village of the sun
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| Village of the sun, ah ah
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| Village of the sun, son
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| (Sun Village to you, yeah, you, you-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo)
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| Well!
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| Little Mary, and Teddy, and Thelma too, now
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| Where Palmdale Boulevard, woh, cuts on through
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| Past the Village Inn & Barbecue now, yeah
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| (I heard it ain’t there… well, I hope it ain’t true)
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| Where the stumblers gonna go to watch the lights turn blue?
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| Where the stumblers gonna go to watch the lights turn blue?
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| Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ahhh
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| Goin’ back home to the village of the sun
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| Out in back of Palmdale, where the turkey farmers run
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| I done made up my mind and I know I’m gonna go to Sun
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| Village, good God, I hope the wind don’t blow
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| Well, it take the paint off your car and wreck your windshield too
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| I don’t know how the people stand it, but I guess they do
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| ‘Cause they’re all still there in their thermal underwear
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| In the village of the sun
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| Village of the sun, ah ah
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| Village of the sun, son
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| (Sun Village to you-ooo ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo)
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| (Sun Village to you-ooo ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo)
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| Village…
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| I’m about to go back there in the sun, sun, sun
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| Gotta go back in back of Palmdale, yeah, where the turkey farmers run
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| I know I really, really got to go, I thought I never go back there no more
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| Would I be the only one?
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| Village
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| Village in the sun, sun, sun
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| I never really, really thought I’d leave
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| Oh, but I tell you to believe in the sun, sun, sun
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| I really, really got to go, thought I never go back there no more
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| Oh, would I be the only one?
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| Village
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| Village in the sun, sun, sun
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| Hey!
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| I really got to go, I never thought I’d come back there no more
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| Oh, would I be the only one?
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| [Instrumental]
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| Some take the bible for what it’s worth
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| When it says that the meek shall inherit the Earth
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| Well, I heard that some sheik has bought New Jersey last week
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| An’ you, suckers, ain’t gettin’ nothin’
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| Is Hare Rama really wrong
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| If you wander around with a napkin on
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| With a bell on a stick an’ your hair is all gone?
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| The geek shall inherit nothin’
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| Listen
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| You say yer life’s a bum deal an’ you’re up against the wall…
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| And you know what? You ain’t even got no deal at all
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| ‘Cause what they do in Washington
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| They just takes care of NUMBER ONE an’ NUMBER ONE is not YOU
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| No way!
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| You ain’t even NUMBER TWO
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| Those Jesus Freaks, well, they’re friendly but
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| The shit they believe has got their minds all shut
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| An’ they don’t even care when the church takes a cut
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| Ain’t it bleak when you got so much nothin’?
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| So whaddya do?
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| Eat that pork, eat that ham
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| Laugh till you choke on Billy Graham
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| Moses, Aaron an’ Abraham…
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| They’re all a waste of time
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| An’ it’s your ass that’s on the line
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| It’s your ass that’s on the line
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| Do what you wanna, do what you will
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| Just don’t mess up your neighbor’s thrill
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| An’ when you pay the bill kindly leave a tip
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| And help the next poor sucker on his one-way trip…
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| SOME TAKE THE BIBLE…
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| (Aw, gimme a half a dozen for the hotel room!)
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| Bamboozled by love
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| Oh Lord, the shit done hit the fan
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| Bamboozled by love
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| Oh Lord, the shit done hit the fan
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| The way that girl been carryin’ on
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| I swear I just don’t understand
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| You know, I treat her nice and kind
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| The way no other lover can
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| Don’t you know, I treat her nice and kind
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| The way no other lover can
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| You know, I came home the other day and she was
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| Suckin’ off some other man
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| Some other man
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| I ain’t the type for beggin’
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| I ain’t the type to plead
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| If she don’t change those evil ways
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| I’m gonna make her bleed
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| She can scream and she can holler
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| Bang her head all along the wall
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| If she don’t give me what I want
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| She gonna have no head at all
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| Bamboozled by love
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| Oh Lord, I said she fooled around too long
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| Bamboozled by love
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| I said she fooled around too long
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| Now I am mad and gettin’ meaner
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| I am here and she is gone
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| And the reason you ain’t seen her
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| She is underneath the lawn
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| I said she’s underneath the lawn, lawn, lawn
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| [Instrumental]
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| Now look, I ain’t the type for beggin’
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| Now I ain’t the type to plead
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| If she don’t change those evil ways
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| I’m gonna make her bleed
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| She can scream and she can holler
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| Bang her head all along the wall
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| If she don’t give me what I want
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| She gonna have no head at all
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| Bamboozled by love
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| Oh Lord, I said she fooled around too long
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| Bamboozled by love
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| I said she fooled around too long
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| Now I am mad and gettin’ meaner
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| I am here and she is gone
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| I know she’s gone
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| And the reason you have not seen her
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| She is underneath the lawn
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| The name of this song is “Maybe you should stay with your mama”
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| One, two, three, four
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| Maybe you should stay with yo’ mama
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| She could do your laundry an’ cook for you
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| Mama!
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| Maybe you should stay with yo’ mama
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| You’re really kinda stupid an’ ugly too
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| WELL
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| Maybe you should stay with yo’ mama
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| She could do your laundry an’ cook for you
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| Maybe you should stay with yo’ mama
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| You’re really kinda stupid an’ ugly too
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| You ain’t really made for bein’ out in the street
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| Ain’t much hope for a fool like you
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| ‘Cause if you play the game, you will get beat
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| Maybe you should stay with yo’ mama
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| She could do your laundry an’ cook for you
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| Maybe you should stay with yo’ mama
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| Mama!
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| You’re really kinda stupid an’ ugly too
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| AND
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| You should never smoke in pajamas
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| You might start a fire an’ burn yer face
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| Maybe you’ll return to Managua
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| You could go unnoticed in such a place
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| [Instrumental]
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| Maybe you should stay with yo’ mama
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| Mama!
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| She could do your laundry an’ cook for you
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| Maybe you should stay with yo’ mama
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| You’re really kinda stupid an’ ugly too
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| You should never smoke in pajamas
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| You might start a fire an’ burn yer face
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| Maybe you’ll return to Managua
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| You could go unnoticed in such a place
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| You ain’t really made for bein’ out in the street
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| Ain’t much hope for a fool like you
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| ‘Cause if you play the game, you will get beat
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| [Instrumental]
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| Ooh, the way you love me, baby
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| I get so hard now I could die
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| Ooh, the way you love me, sugar
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| I get so hard now I could die
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| Open up your pocketbook, get another quarter out
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| Drop it in the meter, mama, try me on for size
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| Open up your pocketbook, get another quarter out
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| Drop it in the meter, mama, try me on for size
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| Ooh, the way you squeeze me, baby
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| Red balloons just pop behind my eyes
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| Ooh, the way you squeeze me, girl
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| Red balloons just pop behind my eyes
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| Open up your pocketbook, get another quarter out
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| Drop it in the meter, mama, try me on for size
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| Open up your pocketbook, get another quarter out
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| Drop it in the meter, mama, try me on for size
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| Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooh
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| You got that kind of love that lingers
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| Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooh
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| This here bed’s got Magic Fingers
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| Been a-rollin’ on the bed since the show got out
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| Now I’m gettin’ weak in the knees
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| Must have did it eighty, ninety times, it might have been a hundred
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| But you’re the kind of girl that I really wanna please
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| You’re the kind of girl that I really wanna please
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| Oh, girl!
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| Do you really wanna please me?
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| You know I do
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| Tell me why you do it? I really wanna know
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| Well, it wouldn’t be right for me to tell you tonight
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| You better tell me right away or I dress up and go!
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| Don’t get mad, it ain’t no big thing
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| You better tell me right away, don’t you treat me cold
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| HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT!
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| I’m holding it
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| It’s good for you
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| I’m holding it
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| It’s good for you
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| I’m holding it
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| It’s good for you
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| I’m holding it
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| Alright, let go of it now!
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| Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
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| Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
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| Dreamed I was an Eskimo
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| Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
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| Frozen wind began to blow
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| Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
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| Under my boots an’ around my toe
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| Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
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| Frost had bit the ground below
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| Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
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| Was a hundred degrees below zero
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| Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
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| And my momma cried:
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| “You don’t really look like an Eskimo”
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| And my momma cried again:
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| “You don’t really look like an Eskimo”
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| And my momma cried again:
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| “You don’t really look like an Eskimo, no”
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| “Nanook, no, no
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| Nanook, no, no
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| Don’t be a naughty Eskimo, hey!”
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| Dah-dah da-dee-da mama
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| Dah-dah da-dee-da mama
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| That’s right, I said ya, mama
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| Hee haw, I said ya, mama
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| “Save your money: don’t go to the show”
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| Well, I turned around an’ I said:
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| “HO HO”
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| (All together now)
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| Well, I turned around an’ I said:
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| “HO HO”
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| (One more time)
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| Well, I turned around an’ I said:
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| “HO HO”
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| An’ the northern lites commenced t’glow
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| “WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO
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| AN’ DON’T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW
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| WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO
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| AN’ DON’T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW”
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|
|
| Well, right about that time, people
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| A fur trapper
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| Who was strictly from commercial
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| Strictly commercial
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| Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igyaloo
|
| Peek-a-boo
|
| And he started in to whippin’ on my fav’rite baby seal
|
| With a lead-filled snow shoe…
|
| (Tell me the truth)
|
|
|
| I said:
|
| “With a lead…
|
| Lead…
|
| Filled…
|
| Lead-filled…
|
| With a lead-filled snow shoe…”
|
| Snow shoe
|
| He said: “Peak-a-boo”
|
| Peek-a-boo
|
| “With a lead…
|
| Lead…
|
| Filled…
|
| Lead-filled…
|
| With a lead-filled snow shoe…”
|
| Snow shoe
|
| He said: “Peak-a-boo”
|
| Peek-a-boo
|
|
|
| He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal
|
| He hit him on the nose
|
| He hit him on the fin
|
| He hit him on the coccyx
|
| He hit him on the uh… Thermidor
|
| He had him right near Managua several times
|
| (About the thorax)
|
| You know what he did to that seal?
|
| He really fucked up my favorite baby seal
|
| Like this…
|
|
|
| Now, folks, that got me just about as evil as ▶ an Eskimo boy can be…
|
| And it would you too
|
| So guess what I did?
|
| (What’d you do then?)
|
| Hey, you’ll never guess
|
| I bent down an’ I reached down an’ I scooped down an’ I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly…
|
| Yellow snow
|
| The deadly yellow snow from right there where the huskies go
|
|
|
| An’ then I proceeded to rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the citizens of Chicago
|
| But destined to take the place of the mud shark ▶ in your mythology
|
| The vigorous circular motion… here it goes, RUB IT!
|
|
|
| HEY… HEY… HEY…
|
|
|
| Alright, now listen. Some of you, people, were here for the last show, right? OK, well you know what’s gonna happen now, don’t you? This is audience participation time again, ladies and gentlemen. Now, a lot of the big groups they have really neat things for the audience to do, really sophisticated technological things like: “Hey, everybody, get your hands together and let’s boogie!” But, you know, since we’re not English or anything, we don’t do that, we have things that are really stupid for the audience to do, because the way I’ve got it figured out, the dumber it is, the more fun it is, so let’s get on with it. Here’s what you do, everybody stand up. Alright, stand up! Alright, what’re you guys, paraplegics? Stand up! Alright. OK, here’s what you’re gonna do: you’re gonna help me demise the fur trapper. This is just… This is just for practice, now watch. Here’s what you do.
|
|
|
| And then you pounced
|
| You pounced again
|
| Jumped up an’ down the chest of the…
|
| ✄ GREAT GOOGLY-MOOGLY
|
| You injured the fur trapper
|
|
|
| Now, is that sophisticated or what? You know? Let’s… hey, let’s face it, this… what I’m asking you to do is really stupid. It’s really stupid. However, this would do less harm to you than voting, so let’s get on with it. One more time.
|
|
|
| Now you pounced
|
| And you pounced again
|
| You jumped up an’ down the chest of the…
|
|
|
| Some of you aren’t getting the fast part, I think that you’re probably a little bit too RIPPED for the fast part. We’re gonna have to do some more work on the fast part. Now, this is really good for you, it’s stupid, but it’s good for you. Just the fast part, OK? We go…
|
|
|
| You jumped up an’ down the chest of the…
|
| You jumped up an’ down the chest of the…
|
| Jumped up an’ down the chest of the…
|
| Jumped up an’ down the chest of the…
|
|
|
| Some of you are just standing there twitching. A lot of you girls that don’t have brassieres on it are trying to stand still so they don’t flop up an’ down and hit ya. (Come on!) It won’t do. Let it all hang out, guys and gals. Let it flop around. This is The Big One. One more time. If you flunk this one, God knows what’s gonna happen tonight. All together, I wanna see everybody’s buttocks pumping up an’ down ▶ this night. Just think of me as an older, more sinister, Jack LaLanne. Ready?
|
|
|
| And then I pounced
|
| And I pounced again
|
| And jumped up an’ down the chest of the…
|
| ✄ GREAT GOOGLY-MOOGLY
|
| You and me have injured the fur trapper
|
|
|
| Sit down!
|
| Alright. It’s almost like going to camp.
|
|
|
| Well, it was at that time that the fur trapper realized that something was wrong
|
|
|
| He looked around
|
| And he looked around
|
| And he looked around
|
| And he kept looking around
|
| And you know what?
|
| (What?)
|
|
|
| He said:
|
| “I CAN’T SEE”
|
| No no no no no… yeah!
|
| “I CAN’T SEE”
|
| No no no no no… yeah!
|
| “I CAN’T SEE”
|
| No no no no no… yeah!
|
| “I CAN’T SEE”
|
| No no no no no… yeah!
|
|
|
| “He took a dog-doo snow cone an’ stuffed it in my right eye
|
| He took a dog-doo snow cone an’ stuffed it in my other eye
|
| An’ the huskie wee-wee, I mean, the doggie wee-wee has blinded me
|
| Oh, an’ I can’t see”
|
|
|
| Well, as you know, it was at this precise moment in time and space that the evil fur trapper remembered the ancient Eskimo legend
|
| Wherein it is written
|
| (Hey, don’t rush me!)
|
| Wherein it is written
|
| On whatever it is that they write it on up there
|
| That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes
|
| As a result of some sort of conflict with anyone named Nanook
|
| Hey, the only way that you can get it fixed up
|
| Is to go trudgin’ across the tundra…
|
| Mile after mile
|
| Trudgin’ across the tundra…
|
| Right down to the parish of Saint Alfonzo…
|
|
|
| You play this lick, you don’t just toss it off, you don’t just crank it off, you don’t just hurl it out into space. You have to study for, oh… moments. Several moments in order to learn this lick. Ed has worked on this lick over and over again. Tonight maybe the…
|
|
|
| (The rats?)
|
|
|
| Huh? Oh oh yes. And Ed found a rat up in the dressing room. Those of you that were here the last show, we gave you the report that Ed was lonely and was trying to find a rat to fuck in the dressing room. He found one, it was really good. Worked it over. He ate it and that’s why he has the strength to play this part of the show. Are you ready? Take it away, Ed!
|
|
|
| That’s right, here we are!
|
|
|
| At Saint Alfonzo’s pancake breakfast
|
| Where I stole the mar-juh-rene
|
| An’ widdled on the bingo cards in lieu of the latrine
|
|
|
| I saw a handsome parish lady
|
| Make her entrance like a queen
|
| Why, she was totally chenille and her old man was a Marine
|
|
|
| As she abused a sausage pattie
|
| Peetie-peetie pattie peetie-peetie pattie pootie
|
| And said: “Why don’t you treat me mean?”
|
| Hurt me, hurt me, hurt me, oooooh!
|
| Pittie! Pattie! Pootie! Bootie-pootie!
|
|
|
| At Saint Alfonzo’s pancake breakfast
|
| Hah! Good God! Get off the bus!
|
| Where I stole the mar-juh-rene…
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Saint Alfonzo
|
| Saint Alfonzo
|
| Saint Alfonzo
|
| Saint Alfonzo
|
| Ooo-ooo-WAH
|
|
|
| Get on your feet an’ do the funky Alfonzo!
|
|
|
| Father Vivian O’Blivion
|
| Resplendent in his frock
|
| Was whipping up the batter
|
| For the pancakes of his flock
|
| He was looking rather bleary
|
| (He forgot to watch the clock)
|
|
|
| ‘Cause the night before
|
| Behind the door
|
| A leprechaun had stroked…
|
| (He stroked it!)
|
| The night before
|
| Behind the door
|
| A leprechaun had stroked…
|
| (He stroked it!)
|
|
|
| The night before
|
| Behind the door
|
| A leprechaun had stroked his…
|
| Sma-ah-ah
|
| Ah-ah-ah
|
| Ah-ah-ah
|
| Ah-ah-ah
|
| Ah-ah-ah
|
| Ah-ah-ah
|
| Ahhh
|
| Stroked his smock
|
|
|
| Set him off in such a frenzy
|
| He sang ✄ “Lock around the crock”
|
| An’ he topped it off with a…
|
| An’ he topped it off with a…
|
| An’ he topped it off with a…
|
| WOO WOO WOO
|
| WOO WOO WOO
|
| WOO WOO WOO
|
|
|
| As he stumbled on his COCK
|
| He was delighted as it stiffened
|
| And ripped right through his sock
|
| “Oh, Saint Alfonzo would be proud of me
|
| PROUD OF ME
|
| PROUD OF ME”
|
|
|
| He shouted down the block
|
| (Oh no!)
|
|
|
| Dominus vo-bisque’em ▶
|
| Et cum spear a tu-tu, oh
|
| Oh!
|
| Won’t you eat my sleazy pancakes
|
| Just for Saintly Alfonzo?
|
| They’re so light an’ fluffy-white
|
| We’ll raise a fortune by tonite
|
| They’re so light an’ fluffy-white
|
| We’ll raise a fortune by tonite
|
| They’re so light an’ fluffy-brown
|
| They’re the finest in the town
|
| They’re so light an’ fluffy-brown
|
| They’re the finest in the town
|
|
|
| Good morning, Your Highness ▶
|
| Ooo-ooo-ooo
|
| I brought you your snow shoes ▶
|
| Ooo-ooo-ooo
|
| Good morning, Your Highness
|
| Ooo-ooo-ooo
|
| I brought you your snow shoes
|
| Ooo-ooo-ooo
|
|
|
| Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-Nanook
|
| Na-na-na-na-na-Nanook-oh
|
| Nanook
|
| Rubs it
|
| Saint…
|
| Al…
|
| Al…
|
| Fo-fo-fo…
|
| Fo-fo-fo-fo-fo-fonzo
|
|
|
| Saint Alfonzo really loves it when he rubs it for him
|
|
|
| I have seen him rubbin’ it
|
| I have seen him rubbin’ it
|
| I have… I have a-seen him stroke his weenie
|
| It was teenie
|
| Rub it, rub it, rub it, rub it, rub
|
|
|
| Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
|
| Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
|
| Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
|
| Nanook is rubbin’ it, and Alfie is lovin’ it
|
|
|
| Saint Alfonzo, can you hear us praying to you?
|
| Can you fix my Chevy?
|
| Boy, you’re really heavy!
|
| Here’s the church and here’s the steeple
|
| Open up and see the people
|
| Some are kneelin’, some are standin’
|
| All the money they are handing
|
| To some asshole with a basket
|
| Where it goes we dare not ask it
|
|
|
| Nanook rubs it, Alfie loves it
|
| This here basket, really shoves it
|
| Here’s your quarter, here’s your dollar
|
| Let’s play “Ring around the collar”
|
| HUP! HEY, GET IT NOW!
|
| We get it now! We take now your little gifts
|
|
|
| THANK YOU
|
| THANK YOU
|
| THANK YOU
|
| THANK YOU
|
| THANK YOU
|
| THANK YOU
|
| THANK YOU
|
| THANK YOU, FRIENDS!
|
|
|
| Vince Colaiuta on drums
|
| Arthur Barrow on bass
|
| Tommy Mars on keyboards
|
| Ike Willis on guitar and vocals
|
| Denny Walley on guitar and vocals
|
| Peter Wolf on keyboards
|
| Ed Mann on percussion
|
| Saint Alfonzo rubs it, and uh… (of course) Thanks for coming to the show (Alfie rubs it), good night.
|
|
|
| (Oh no!)
|
.jpg "(Front)")
.jpg "(CD inside)")
Songs list
| 
Title origin
|