| Album notes by FZ
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| GENERAL NOTES
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| This concert was recorded at Royal Festival Hall, London, England on 28 October 1968, using a rented 4-track remote system (a single 3M one-inch 4-track machine, 8 microphones, and an 8-channel mixer). There are no overdubs.
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| It was also filmed by a semi-professional 16mm camera crew. (For those of you who might wonder what everybody is doing while the audience is cracking up, an edited version of the “dramatic” portion of the show can be seen in the Honker Home Video release of “Uncle Meat”).
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| In 1968, the “monitor system” (amplification equipment that allows performers on stage to hear themselves talking or singing) had not yet been invented. Our PA system for the 1968 European Tour was a nasty-sounding mono appliance which consisted of 12 100-watt guitar amplifiers wired together, fed by a couple of low-rent vocal mikes. There was no “house mixer”.
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| The alto and tenor saxes were individually amplified by means of a contact pick-up run through a pair of Maestro woodwind effects units. Motorhead couldn’t afford one, so he just blew his baritone in the general direction of the nearest vocal mike.
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| Don Preston played an RMI electric piano. It didn’t sound very good, but it was easier to carry than a Fender Rhodes. His “synthesizer equipment” consisted of a couple of little home-made oscillator boxes - all plugged into the same guitar amplifier. (Note: Most of the “hiss” that inhabits these recordings is not from the 1968 analog tape stock - it comes from Don’s keyboard set-up idling on stage).
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| THE STRUCTURE OF THE SHOW
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| Throughout the tour, I had been writing chamber music pieces in airports and hotels. Somewhere in the middle of the tour, when asked about an opening act for the London show, I opted to hire 14 members of the BBC Symphony to play these pieces, and build a cheesy little psychodrama around them, featuring the band doing something other than our usual stuff.
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| The logistic were pretty ridiculous. How were we going to rehearse a “play” in the middle of the tour? Who was going to copy out all the sheet music for the BBC guys? How could Ian, Bunk & Art rehearse their solo parts? Who was going to pay for all of this? Only the last question had an easy answer. I spent about seven thousand dollars to hire the extra musicians, costumes, recording, filming, and music preparation. It was a large chunk of my total income from the tour, but I thought we could get a “European Album” out of it. A few bits from the show eventually found their way into “Weasels Ripped My Flesh” (“Prelude to the afternoon of a sexually aroused gas mask” and part of “The Orange County lumber truck” included here in its complete original form), but the “European Album” never took shape.
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| [Notes by FZ] First of all, the play itself never had a name, but, for momentary convenience, we’ll call it “Progress?”. The original title for the chamber pieces which occur during the dialog was “Music for the queen’s circus”.
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| The show opens with Ian, Bunk and Art pretending to perform a “serious piece of music” for acoustic piano, clarinet and percussion (they have already been introduced to the audience as “the three talented members of the group - because they can read music”). The piece (later known as “Bogus pomp”), heard here in its world premiere, eventually became part of the score to “200 Motels”, as did most of the other selections. (Research-oriented listeners might want to check out the Honker Home video of “The True Story of 200 Motels”. If your video retailer doesn’t stock Zappa video product, it can be ordered by phone from Barfko-Swill - put call 818-PUMPKIN).
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| Anyway, while the “three talented members of the group” attempt to perform “The prologue”, Don Preston, in a villain’s cape and top-hat, sneaks onstage, interrupting their trio with a loud blast of “modern electronic music”.
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| The trio protests the interruption, to which Don responds that performance of diatonic music (and eating meat) will preclude them from seeing his aura. They argue that diatonic music is good and his electronic music is horse-shit. He argues that diatonic music is too old-fashioned, and that “There must be growth! You’ve got to eat macrobiotic food - and study astrology!” (It is worth noting that, although the “plot” was my idea, each band member was responsible for generating his own dialog).
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| This causes the talented trio to quit the Mothers, in order to “form their own band with a lot of discipline”. Suddenly, through the magic of stagecraft, their new, disciplined combo (14 members of the BBC Symphony) marches on stage, wearing tuxedos, with robot-looking designs painted on their faces. Ian, Bunk and Art put on tuxes, get some bolts and widgits painted on their faces by a roving make-up artist, and take up performance positions within the BBC ensemble.
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| At this point, Motorhead wanders out, piddling with his tambourine. He sees the BBC “disciplined combo”, covets their uniforms, and demands to join their group. The ensemble rebukes him because he can’t read music. In spite of this, he plans to force his way in.
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| [?] Donnie!
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| [Bunk Gardner] Hey, put that down!
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| [Arthur Dyer Tripp III] What are you doin’, man?
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| [Don Preston] SILENCE, you fools! Don’t you believe in PROGRESS?
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| [Bunk Gardner] Take that progress and stick it under a rock
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| [Don Preston] We have to… We must overthrow the diatonic system
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| [FZ] Yes
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| [Arthur Dyer Tripp III] Bullshit
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| [Don Preston] We’re coming to the beginning of a new era wherein the development of the inner self will be the most important factor
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| [Ian Underwood] Donnie, your music is full of shit, and besides that it ain’t disciplined
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| [Don Preston] Listen…
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| [Bunk Gardner] Give me four-four
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| [Arthur Dyer Tripp III] Togetherness
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| [Bunk Gardner] Yeah
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| [Ian Underwood] Some old melodies
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| [Don Preston] Look, playing…
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| [Arthur Dyer Tripp III] Put on a tie!
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| [Don Preston] Playing that kind of music and eating meat, will never… you’ll never be able to see my aura then
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| [Arthur Dyer Tripp III] I’ve seen your aura a lot, and it really stinks
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| [Bunk Gardner] You’ve been drinking, Don
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| [Ian Underwood] I can hear your aura and it’s bad, man
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| [Don Preston] Listen, there are many strange things that science doesn’t know
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| [Arthur Dyer Tripp III] Fuck it
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| [Ian Underwood] Play any more
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| [Bunk Gardner] Discipline, you need discipline
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| [Don Preston] No
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| [Bunk Gardner] Four-four
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| [Don Preston] It’s got to be new, it’s got to progress, it’s got to evolve. THERE MUST BE GROWTH!
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| [Bunk Gardner] Ah, man. My goodness…
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| [Don Preston] You’ve got to eat macrobiotic food…
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| [FZ] We’re doing a play
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| [Don Preston] And study astrology. Delve into the occult world.
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| [Ian Underwood] Well, you can delve all you want but we’re formin’ a new group, go… go and do you some yoga exercises
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| [Don Preston] Look
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| [Ian Underwood] Take care of business there
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| [Don Preston] Mark my words: if you continue playing this music something strange may happen
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| [Bunk Gardner] Don’t threaten me!
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| [FZ] By the end of the first show
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| [Don Preston] By the end of the first show. No, the second show.
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| [FZ] So, at this point in the development of our plot the three talented members of the Mothers of Invention have quit the group to form their own band with a lot of discipline
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| [Arthur Dyer Tripp III] Yeah
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| [FZ] This is what we need, is a nice disciplined combo!
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| [FZ] And so that they would be completely packaged and fit in with the rest of the disciplined combo, the former members of the Mothers of Invention receive their initiation into the robot musical world
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| [Don Preston] This makes me nervous I’m gonna go do some yoga
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| [Ian Underwood] Yeah, you better
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| [FZ] Meanwhile, Dom DeWild, under pressure, prepares to unwind with some healthy yoga exercises
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| [FZ] This is Euclid Motorhead Sherwood
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| [Jim Sherwood] What’s the matter with him?
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| [Ian Underwood] He’s nervous ‘cause he couldn’t play with our new group
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| [Jim Sherwood] Oh, that’s nice, look at those suits
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| [FZ] Motorhead covets the uniforms of the other band. And also shows some interest in the bum of Underwood.
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| [Ian Underwood] AYYYY!
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| [Jim Sherwood] Hey, ten years ago I knew a lot of guys that had suits like these. They’re really nice. Hey, can I play in band with a suit like that too?
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| [Ian Underwood] No!
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| [Jim Sherwood] But I like the suits and I can play good. I can play… I can play anything.
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| [Mothers] BOO! BOO! BOO!
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| [FZ] Motorhead is lying. He can’t play good, he can’t play anything. He’s trying to con his way into the other band. He knows they don’t want him.
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| [Bunk Gardner] I heard you play before
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| [Jim Sherwood] But I got practicing and play good
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| [Ian Underwood] No discipline
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| [FZ] He’s lying. He hasn’t been practicing, he doesn’t do shit.
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| [Bunk Gardner] Last week he couldn’t even count to four
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| [Arthur Dyer Tripp III] Come on, beat it, man
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| [Jim Sherwood] You can’t do that to me, I’ll fix you
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| [Arthur Dyer Tripp III] Go ahead
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| [Jim Sherwood] I’ll get into your band. I’ll get into your band.
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| [Bunk Gardner] OK, Motorhead, just get out of the way
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| [Jim Sherwood] You can’t stop me, I’ll get in there somehow
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| [Ian Underwood] Take a walk, you fruit
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| [Jim Sherwood] There’s no way you can stop me, I bet ya!
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| [FZ] Motorhead explains to the members of the robot combo that nothing can stop him, he will join their group whether they like it or not
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| [Notes by FZ] While the orchestra plays “Like it or not”, Motorhead rummages on stage through a pile of musical instrument cases, magically locating a rumpled tuxedo of his own, along with enough greasepaint to transform himself into a shabby replica of a “robot combo” member.
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| [Notes by FZ] Next, during the “Jimmy Carl Black philosophy lesson” we learn that “If you wanna get laid after the show, you gotta play rock & roll music and drink beer - you’re not gonna get laid anyway with those uniforms on!” He announces his intention to quit the Mothers, planning to make his way into the audience in order to hustle some young ladies. It was my unfortunate duty to remind him that “Here in London, you’re not going to get any pussy unless you look like a pop-star”. The make-up team dresses him up to look like a cross between Donovan and Jimi Hendrix. With a bottle of beer (Double Diamond) in each hand he charges into the audience.
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| [FZ] At this very moment Jimmy Carl Black, the Indian of the group, is approaching the stage. Jimmy Carl, who likes to drink and also likes to boogie all night long and who is also horny, approaches Underwood in his transformed state at the piano and asks him this all-important question:
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| [Jimmy Carl Black] Hey, I thought we were gonna play a rock & roll concert. What is this?
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| [Ian Underwood] Jimmy Carl Black, Indian of the group… four-fours
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| [Jimmy Carl Black] How are you gonna get laid if you don’t play rock & roll and drink beer? You get laid after the concert if you play rock & roll, this kind of crap you’re not gonna… you’re not gonna get laid anyway with that uniform on. I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna quit, I’m gonna go out and hustle me some chick, the hell with you.
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| [Ian Underwood] Jimmy, you need some discipline
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| [Jimmy Carl Black] I’m leaving the group
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| [Mothers] BOO! BOO!
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| [FZ] Jimmy Carl, I must inform you… I must inform you, Jimmy Carl, for your own good, that here in London you’re not gonna get any pussy unless you look like a pop-star. Fix him up! Mod jacket…
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| [Jimmy Carl Black] Oh Jeezus
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| [FZ] Frilly mod neckpiece? Jimi Hendrix wig, and a feather boa
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| [Jimmy Carl Black] WAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
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| [FZ] Jimmy Carl Black enters the audience to hustle some young ladies.
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| Go on Jim, see if you can get any action, and if you get lucky fix us up too.
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| And if you’re really lucky, get something for the robots
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| Mmmm, their little mechanical things are going up and down, up and down
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| [Notes by FZ] Just a few weeks before this show, the Pope had announced a ban on birth control pills (in spite of persistent rumors that the Vatican had major financial holdings in a Swiss company that manufactured the little devils). To commemorate this, Roy Estrada strides on stage wearing a floor length chain-mail dress with enormous aluminum tits, and an ornate Catholic ceremonial head-dress. He is carrying a child’s plastic sand bucket filled with Smarties (the British equivalent of M&M’s). The inscription on the bucket reads “No more ugly babies!” While chanting in Latin, he hurls fistfuls of candy into the audience, in lieu of birth control pills. He approaches Ian in his robotically transformed state and begs for an audition as an opera singer with Ian’s new group, claiming that he has to leave the Mothers - he’s holding the group back because he’s a Mexican (he actually used to think this was true, and told me so on several occasions). Ian lets him try out. His selected aria: “Holiday in Berlin” (we had just played there a few weeks before, and experienced a riot).
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| [FZ] Then, from out of the corner from the stage, comes Roy Ralph Estrada, perturbed at the present situation within the Mothers
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| [Roy Estrada] Domino, Domino, Domino Biz-bo-OH, Domino Biz-bo-OH, amen, Domino Biz-bo, Hallelujah, eh
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| [Ian Underwood] Et cum spiritu tuo
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| [Roy Estrada] Ian, I don’t think I qualify for the Mothers
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| [FZ] They’re making up their lines as they go along, isn’t it thrilling?
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| [Ian Underwood] Why, Roy?
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| [Roy Estrada] Because I don’t think I’m qualified. I think…
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| I think I’m holding the group back because I’m a MEXICAN. And also because I don’t play bass good.
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| [Ian Underwood] I don’t care how you can play bass but we have NO MEXICANS in this group
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| [Roy Estrada] And I wanna join your group
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| [Ian Underwood] NO MEXICANS!
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| [Roy Estrada] I can sing opera, I have already quit, I cut my hair, I got all my shit together here. I can do it.
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| [Ian Underwood] I don’t care how you look you gotta be able to cut the part
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| [Roy Estrada] I can sing. Please. Please, Ian, give me a CHANCE.
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| [Ian Underwood] I don’t believe you can sing
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| [Roy Estrada] Ah, PLEASE! Ah, Ian, PLEASE hear my PLEA! PLEASE, IAN! PLE-E-E-EASE! I can do it, give me a chance! PLEASE! Please, IAN!
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| [FZ] Try me!
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| [Roy Estrada] BWAH-AH-AH-AH! Please!
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| [Ian Underwood] OK, Mexican
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| [Roy Estrada] Please
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| [Ian Underwood] OK, Mexican
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| [Roy Estrada] OK
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| [Ian Underwood] Sing this note…
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[Jimmy Carl Black & Roy Estrada] You think everything gonna be alright
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| [Ian Underwood] OK. You passed the first part of your audition. Now you gotta sing…
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| [Roy Estrada] Mi mi mi mi
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| [Notes by FZ] As he finishes, the robot combo boos him. At this point “the rejected mexican Pope leaves the stage”. The robots play again and Motorhead, who has completed his disguise, attempts to join them, interrupting with a psychotic soprano sax cadenza. The robots “blow him away” with several ugly chords. Seeking solace with the church, he approaches The Rejected Mexican Pope for consolation. The Rejected Mexican Pope responds by attempting anal intercourse.
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| [FZ] The rejected Mexican pope leaves the stage
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| [Instrumental]
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| [Mothers] TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| ONE, TWO, THREE
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Motorhead is attempting to join the band…
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Undaunted, the band plays on
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| [Notes by FZ] Meanwhile, “undaunted, the band plays on”. During this musical section, Don Preston, chemically altered via macrobiotic snack consumption, is transformed into a Phantom Of The Opera-like monster. While members of the robot combo hiss and boo him, he sneaks around behind the stage set-up, planning a terrible revenge for the rejection of his electronic music. He pounces on the unsuspecting Underwood in the midst of his rapturous piano solo, strangles him, throws him to the floor, and takes his place on the bench.
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| [FZ] Meanwhile, the snack enters the mind of Dom DeWild
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| [Mothers] ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, ONE
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] It’s the macro-biotic food
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| [Instrumental]
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| [Don Preston] HA HA HA HA HA
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| [Mothers] THREE! FOUR! TWO! TWO!
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| [FZ] While the well-disciplined ▶ Ian Underwood plays his piano solo, Dom DeWild, transformed, begins to sneak up on him
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| [Mothers] BOO! BOO! BOO!
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| [Instrumental]
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| [Notes by FZ] The final revenge? He spews forth a morbidly diatonic piece, entitled “Sell us a president, agency man”. Were the Mothers of Invention “ahead of their time”? At least in the case of “Agency man” (written in 1967), about Ronald Reagan running for president. (Since Bill Casey was Reagan’s campaign manager, and later became head of the CIA, the idea of a political sales pitch emanating from an “agency man” takes on a whole new dimension).
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| [Instrumental]
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| Sell us a president, agency man
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| Smiling Big Brother, stern father perhaps!
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| Sell us a president, agency man
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| A gay smiling nothing we know never craps
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| Let’s try California
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| Pay us first before we do it!
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| We’ll get a smiling Nazi
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| And march him right on through it
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| Rent a baby, kiss a baby
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| Ladies in for tea
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| And here’s a bunch of speeches
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| We’ll toss them in for free
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| Sell us a president, agency man
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| Smiling Big Brother, stern father perhaps!
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| Sell us a president, agency man
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| A gay smiling nothing we know never craps
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| We’ll sell him in the movies on the tube throughout the year
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| We’ll sell him by the buckets to the Okies drinking beer
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| We’ll teach him how to walk and talk, we’ll putty up his chin
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| We’ll print his picture everywhere, OF COURSE THE SCHMUCK WILL WIN
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| From the heart of old Death Valley
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| To the ruling of our land
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| A simple trick, you simple pigs
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| Just the way we planned
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| [Notes by FZ] Jimmy Carl, Motorhead, Roy and Bunk are reunited by Don’s sentimental stylings. They dance and hug each other, forming a chorus line for backing vocals, while Ian lies in a crumpled heap at the side of the stage. On the downbeat of the “Epilogue”, Ian miraculously returns to life, strangles Don, and hurls him down a flight of steps, regains control of the Steinway and finishes out the show with the orchestra.
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| [Notes by FZ] I would describe the remainder of the album as a fair - not outstanding - 1968 MOI rock concert performance.
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| [Instrumental]
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| Help, I’m a rock
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| Help, I’m a rock
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| Help, I’m a rock
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| Help, I’m a rock
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| Alright, sure it’s a drag being a rock
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| I wish I was anything but a rock
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| Heck, I would even like to be a policeman
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| You know it’s a drag being a policeman
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| I think I would rather be the mayor
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] I’ve been informed that when the guy comes out that beats the gong we have to stop playing, because the subways around here shut down early. We’d like to thank you very much for coming to our concert, and say good night.
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| Nighty night
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| Thank you
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| [Ian Underwood] Thank you!
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 Art by Cal Schenkel.jpg "(Front) Art by Cal Schenkel")
 Art by Cal Schenkel.jpg "(Back) Art by Cal Schenkel")
Songs list
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Watch video
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Title origin
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