| Album notes by Edward Sanders - December 1996
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| Sometime during the last year and a half of his life, Frank Zappa assembled the tunes for “Have I Offended Someone?”, a group of compositions created over a twelve year period, from 1973 through 1985. There is something in this 15-piece collection to offend almost everyone: gays ▲, Jewish princesses ▲, feminists ▲, Christians ▲, satanists ▲, record executives ▲, the Musicians Union ▲, young women from the San Fernando Valley ▲, partisans of the Parisian toilet-kiosk ▲, insecure young men who like to dance in clubs ▲, Jimi Hendrix fans ▲, and punkers with chops ▲, to mention a few.
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| If this were just a book of lyrics, very few would object. After all this is the age of compulsive confession and erotic ink, when Freak-Out has become trash-out, so Zappa’s actual texts are pretty mild. Something happens, however, when satiric or erotic texts are sung to powerful music which raises their ability both to thrill and excite as well as to prick censorious ears.
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| In the past thirty years there has been considerable liberalization of ink and tape. Nevertheless, when overtly erotic images are placed into public song, it continues to cause trouble, because whatever you sing you wind up offending an interest group - whether puritans, religious fundamentalists, the ultra-p.c. crowd or the International Society of Hairbrush Spanking ▶. You offend liberals by “going too far”, and hypocrites also, who want some of Frank Zappa’s themes kept “secret”. Sung satire has the uncanny ability to upset people by being too harsh, not harsh enough, too serious, not serious enough, unfair or too fair to the “other side”.
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| I guess it partly depends on what could be called the Foxhole Factor. If the satire shell hits YOUR foxhole, you tend to be offended. Thus, when Zappa satirizes certain aspects of the counterculture in “We’re turning again”, a mid-life hippie might get offended to the point of laser-erasing that part of the CD while nodding in rapture over the spoofy rhymes of “Catholic girls” or the modern medieval morality play known as “Titties ‘n beer”.
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| THE ELECTRONIC RHAPSODY
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| What gives “Have I Offended Someone?” its fine power to arouse and even offend is the strength and complex precision of the performances, the editing and mixing, and the brilliance of the compositions. A new art form has grown up at the end of the 20th century. You could call it the Electronic Rhapsody. The Beatles, of course, were masters at it. Zappa was a brilliant rhapsodist, in the ancient Greek sense of a rhapsodist as a singer who “stitches together” fragments from a variety of sources to form a work. His up-tempo rhapsodies seem sometimes like complex mathematical surfaces: smooth, ultra-rehearsed and very difficult to play, their fast paced story lines of satire and lust frolicking within and above the weave of the music.
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| Zappa perfected a genre that could be called songs-stos, or short stories in song, using the rhapsodic techniques he had developed. The interest of the listener is kept through myriad changes in the drum meters, riffs, fills, background vocals, special effects, unusual chord sequences, swift transformations in mood and tone, and the like. It’s a powerful genre, and Zappa’s researches point out a new direction for American operatic form.
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| THE USING OF UNUSED FREEDOMS
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| One of the glories of the 1960s and 1970s in the USA was that artists realized that there were oodles of freedom guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution not being used. This glut of personal liberty lurked there in Article I of the Bill of Rights:
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“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances”
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| Frank Zappa started using that guaranteed freedom in ways no American recording artist and performer had ever done. It wasn’t always so easy. He was an important factor in liberating concert halls, particularly the large ones, which had not in the past allowed repertoire that veered to the sexually overt. My band, the Fugs, sometimes would perform at a concert hall, draw a good crowd, yet because of our lyrics, then be told not to try to book it again. Zappa helped end that type of censorship.
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| THE NITTY GRITTY OF DIONYSUS AND THE WORKAHOLIC CYCLES OF APOLLO
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| Throughout his career, Zappa was attacked by critics for his racy music, however much they would praise his genius as a composer. It’s an ancient problem, rooted in the split between the Appollonian and the Dionysian. As brilliant as the poetry is in Euripides’ great drama, “The Bacchae”, for instance, which deals with the Dionysus legend, there is no indication whatsoever of the funkiness of Dionysian behavior. Many people don’t want to know the nitty gritty facts of Dionysus: the dribble, the spills, the mess, the puke, the semen, the stains, the hangovers, and the secret eroticisms of humans. Where Euripides was shy Zappa was bold, so that the grit of Dionysus became the inspiration for many of the tunes on “Have I Offended Someone?”
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| It was dangerous territory, because unfortunately there is a powerful historic tide that seeks to waste away the tracks of Dionysus. In fact, the last two millenia have been packed with those who hunger to burn erotic images and the syllables of sex. There was a great amount of erotic music and texts in ancient Greek and Roman civilization, much of which did not survive the Christians and the Muslims during their early centuries. The poems of the great Sappho of Lesbos, one of the finest writers in history, were for the most part lost, as were the works of many ancient erotic bards such as Hipponax and Archilochus.
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| The huge ancient library at Alexandria was destroyed when Caesar, while torching ships in the harbor during a battle, accidentally caused the library to go up in flames. In 391, angry Christians sacked the other great library in Alexandria, the Serapeum. Later, when the Muslims triumphed, they used the ancient books to heat their baths.
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| Zappa’s creativity spanned the gap between Dionysus and Apollo. He hated drugs, eschewed alcohol and was one of the greatest workaholics since Balzac. He normally toured for six months a year and spent the other six writing music, recording and attending to his business interests virtually night and day without stop in the Apollonian discipline of his house/studio in Los Angeles.
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| ANALYSIS OF FAN BASE
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| Frank Zappa had a clear understanding of his “fan base”. It is clear from my decades with the Fugs that there are oodles of humans out there who thirst for the lascivious chants of “Have I Offended Someone?” They are often young men who, in earlier generations, would have been turned on, say, by the thanatoptic vision of Edgar Allan Poe, or the final pages of Joyce’s “Ulysses”. You can hear Zappa’s fans singing, whistling and shouting along on a number of tracks. I also know there will be oodles who will listen askance at this gathering of the Zappa legacy.
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| The fact remains that the mass interest of young fans in the songs on “Have I Offended Someone?” such as “Dinah-Moe humm” and “Titties ‘n beer” gave him the capital to pursue his “serious” music, particularly with orchestras and large ensembles. He once told CNN: “When we talk about artistic freedom in this country, we sometimes lose sight of the fact that freedom is often dependent on adequate financing”.
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| THE ATTACK OF THE PESTICIDE-DAMAGED THEOCONS
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| I know from personal experience how Zappa resisted taking political stances. In the spring of 1968 I went to his house in L.A. to ask him to perform in Chicago during the August Democratic Convention, and he turned me down. Later that year we were on a panel discussion about politics at the Essen Song Festival in Germany, and he again took a stance against overt political activity. To those of us who wanted him to perform at benefits and rallies it was a maddening stance.
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| But later in the 1980s, when censorship of rock lyrics arose as an issue, Frank Zappa reached his political glory. Years before the rest of us, Frank Zappa picked up on the danger from the theocons, that is, the religious right. There was a sudden rise of these guys, and I’ve often wondered if it was caused by massive pesticide-damage. His 1981 tune “Dumb all over” analyzed it with an insistent rap-like story line and meticulous phrasing that reminds me, in its clipped depositions on the beat, of the P.D.Q. Bach tune ♫ “Classical rap”.
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| On a day in 1985 Tipper Gore, wife of future Vice President Al Gore, bought her young daughter the soundtrack to Prince’s R-rated “Purple Rain”. There was a reference to masturbation on the tune ♫ “Darling Nikki”, which her 8-year-old pointed out to Tipper.
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| Tipper was shocked. Out of that shock was formed something called the PMRC, for the Parents Music Resource Center, composed of people highly placed in the Washington power structure. In May of ‘85, the PMRC sent a letter to the powerful Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) accusing the record biz of focusing “sex, violence, and the glorification of drugs and alcohol” upon the children of America.
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| There was a frenzy of media attention. On September 19th of that year, Zappa gave witty and effective testimony at a highly publicized hearing before the Senate Commerce, Technology and Transportation Committee. The PMRC had proposed a rating system for records, with such designations “D/A” (drugs / alcohol), “X” (sex), “V” (violence), and “O” (occult), (but not “A” for Allah, “J” for Jesus, and “Ja” for Jah).
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| Zappa performed very well, and spent almost that entire year in a public campaign against the imposition of an album rating system. It worked, although the RIAA that fall did institute an “Explicit Lyrics - Parental Warning” label for the releases of big record companies, although many smaller companies not belonging to the RIAA escaped labeling. The labeling, of course, backfired, in that it only pointed out to young people with credit cards which records to buy.
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| LEGACY
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| With his legendary Apollonian energy, Zappa kept hundreds, maybe thousands of tapes - from sessions and his concerts (most of which he recorded) as a treasure from which to present many different collections, versions, aspects, mixes and moments to his fans. Therefore, even with his health seriously eroding, he reached into the distant past of his career to refurbish, reburnish and restore some of his most controversial songs for “Have I Offended Someone?”.
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| These are the songs most often attacked by critics. The key for an artist either attacked by critics (as Chekhov, say, was) or by the government, is to reach out over the heads of hostility to the audience. “If you were to take all the lyrics I’ve ever written” Zappa once wrote “and analyze how many songs are about ‘women in demeaning positions’, as opposed to ‘men in demeaning positions’, you would find that most of the songs are about stupid men”.
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| So, although many a critic has asked, in effect, “Where is your head at, Frank Zappa?” it’s a difficult question to answer, as difficult, say, as to discover in the mad moil of fucked-up kings, queens and courtiers in Shakespeare where he was “coming from”. Rock star, workaholic, jazz composer, eros composer, classical composer, husband and father, satirist band leader, record producer, moviemaker, opera composer, businessman, performer, guitarist, and defender of the Bill of Rights: that was Frank Zappa. The art of the artist IS the artist is what I’ve always believed, even in this era of the trashy 1,500 page biography, so they’ll just have to factor the tunes of “Have I Offended Someone?” into the Zappa equation.
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| One final thing: because of Zappa, it’s going to be more difficult for the guys with the ray guns to erase the controversial tapes, CDs, websites and song modes of the future. That’s why we need a few Frank Zappas each generation to stand up for freedom against the torches.
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| [FZ] Hey there, people, I’m Bobby Brown
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| They say I’m the cutest boy in town
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| My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
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| I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie
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| Here I am at a famous school
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| I’m dressin’ sharp an’ I’m actin’ cool
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| I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper
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| Let her do all the work an’ maybe later I’ll rape her
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| Oh God, I am the American dream
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| I do not think I’m too extreme
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| An’ I’m a handsome son of a bitch
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| I’m gonna get a good job an’ be real rich
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| Get a good, get a good, get a good, get a good job
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| Women’s Liberation
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| Came creepin’ across the nation
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| I tell you, people, I was not ready
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| When I fucked this dyke by the name of Freddie
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| She made a little speech then
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| Aw, she tried to make me say “when”
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| She had my balls in a vise, but she left the dick
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| I guess it’s still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick
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| Oh God, I am the American dream
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| But now I smell like Vaseline
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| An’ I’m a miserable son of a bitch
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| Am I a boy or a lady? I don’t know which
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| I wonder wonder, wonder wonder
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| So I went out an’ bought me a leisure suit
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| I jingle my change, but I’m still kinda cute
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| Got a job doin’ radio promo
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| An’ none of the jocks can even tell I’m a homo
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| Eventually me an’ a friend
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| Sorta drifted along into S&M
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| I can take about an hour on the Tower of Power
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| Along as I gets a little golden shower
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| Oh God, I am the American dream
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| With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
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| An’ I’ll do anything to get ahead
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| I lay awake nights sayin’: “Thank you, Fred!”
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| Oh God, oh God, I’m so fantastic
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| Thanks to Freddie, I’m a sexual spastic
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| And my name is Bobby Brown
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| Watch me now; I’m goin’ down
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| And my name is Bobby Brown
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| Watch me now; I’m goin’ down
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| And my name is Bobby Brown
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| Watch me now; I’m goin’ down
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| Disco Boy
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| [FZ] Run to the toilet, honey
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| Comb your hair
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| Disco Boy
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| Pucker your lip an’ check your shoulder
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| ‘Cause some dandruff might be hidin’ there
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| Disco Boy, you’re the disco king
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| Aw, the Disco-Thing made you think someday
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| That you just might go somewhere
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| Disco Girl, you’re outasite
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| You need a Disco Boy to treat you right
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| He’ll do a lil’ dance
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| Take you home tonight
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| Leave his hair alone but you can kiss his comb
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| Disco Boy
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| Run to the toilet, boy
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| An’ comb your hair
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| Disco Boy
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| Shake it more ‘n three times an’ you’re playin’ with it
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| WOW!
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| While you’re standin’ there
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| Well
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| Disco Boy, do the Bump every night
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| ‘Til the Disco Girl who’s really right gonna fall for your line
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| An’ feed you a box fulla Chicken Delight
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| Disco chit-chat; so demure
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| Pump that booty all across the floor
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| A disco drink
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| A disco wink
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| “You never go doody” (that’s what you think)
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| “You never go doody” (that’s what you think)
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| “You never go doody” (that’s what you think)
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| Doody
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| Ah, go doody
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| Doody
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| “You never go doody”
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| Disco Boy
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| You got one more chance
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| To comb your hair again
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| Disco Boy
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| They’re closin’ the bar
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| And she’s leavin’ with your friend
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| Disco Boy, that’s the way it goes
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| So wipe your nose
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| An’ try it again to get a little laid tomorrow
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| Disco Boy, no one understands
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| But thank the Lord
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| That you still got hands to help you do that jerkin’ that’ll blot out your Disco Sorrow
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| Stroke it!
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| It’s Disco Love tonight
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| Make sure you look all right
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| It’s Disco Love tonight
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| Make sure you look all right
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| Hob-noblin
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| Wit de goblin
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| De Goblin Girl from de mystery world
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| Hob-noblin
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| Wit de goblin
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| She’s black an’ green ‘cause it’s Halloween
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| Raggedy black is the way she dress
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| Little green shoes an’ her hair’s a mess
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| On Halloween night at de costume ball
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| She’s a Goblin Girl an’ she can gobble it all
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| She’s a goblin
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| A Goblin Girl
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| She’s a goblin
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| A Goblin Girl
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| I been hobblin’ ‘cause of the goblin
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| Goblin Girl, Goblin Girl
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| Some girls like to dress like a witch
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| Some girls like to dress like a queen
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| Best way a girl can dress for me
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| Is in a goblin suit
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| They look so cute!
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| When they’re a-gobblin’ there ain’t a problin
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| When they’re a-gobblin’ I start a-wobblin’
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| Pink all over, some is tan
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| Goblin Girls from every land
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| They look good from any which-a-way
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| Every Halloween you can hear me say:
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| “Goblin Girl, take it away…”
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| Hob-noblin
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| Wit de goblin
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| De Goblin Girl from de mystery world
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| De Goblin Girl from de mystery world
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| Trick or treat now
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| De Goblin Girl from de mystery world
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| Trick or treat now
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| De Goblin Girl from de mystery world
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| Trick or treat now
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| Doreen, don’t make me wait ▶
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| How ‘bout you?
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| ‘Til tomorrow
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| POO-AHH!
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| Ohhh-ho no
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| Got nothin’ fer yer honey?
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| Please, darling
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| How ‘bout girls?
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| Let me gobble tonight
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| POO-AHH! How ‘bout you?
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| An’ it’ll be awright
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| Whooo!
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| POO-AHH! Sweetheart
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| You
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| How ‘bout you?
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| Can’t make me say
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| I won’t burble-ble-ble-ble
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| All over you
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| Are you sure?
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| My snout
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| How ‘bout you?
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| Is burning with love
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| And it wants you tonight
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| Got nothin’ fer yer honey? POO-AHH!
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| I hope you’re good and tight
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| Are you sure?
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| How ‘bout you?
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| ✄ Talkin’ ‘bout the bad girls
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| How ‘bout yer?
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| All the Goblin Girls
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| Are you…? POO-AHH!
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| Talkin’ ‘bout the bad, bad girls
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| Sweetheart
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| The little Goblin Girls
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| Come on, Roy, right here
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| Oh, the bad girls
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| Some are called Doreen ▶
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| How ‘bout you?
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| Some are dressed in green
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| They’re tricking your treat
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| But they’re bad girls
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| They’re very bad girls
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| Leprechaun light
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| Ay!
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| They make your face look like you got scales on it
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| But that’s OK…
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| Leprechaun light
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| POO-AHH!
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| When the green light shines down
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| Ay!
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| On the black guys in the band
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| Leprechaun light
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| POO-AHH!
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| Everybody in the audience thinks they’re seeing something that looks like it’s made out of fish skin
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| Ay!
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| Leprechaun light
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| POO-AHH!
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| But Coy leaves the green gels in the truss because he knows the guys in the front really enjoy looking like they have scales all over their body…
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| [Johnny Watson] Mm-hmm, yeah
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| Down, down, down in
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| Down, down, down in
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| Down, down, down in
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| Down, down, down in
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| We’re playin’ in a tent
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| Down, down, down in
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| It’s payin’ the rent
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| Down, down, down in
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| If you pooch a civilian
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| Down, down, down in
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| It’s a major event
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| Down, down, down in
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| Down in France
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| Did you hear where that’s located?
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| Way down
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| I say in France
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| Yeah, hey, it’s the first time you hear som’thn’ like…
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| Way on down
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| And then it smells
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| Way on down
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| Uh, down in France
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| Ain’t that som’thn’? Listen…
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| I say the girls is all salty
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| Down, down, down in
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| An’ the boys is all sweet
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| Down, down, down in
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| I said the food ain’t too shabby
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| Down, down, down in
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| An’ they piss in the street
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| Down, down, down in
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| Down in France
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| Ain’t that cold?
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| Way down
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| Hah, say down in France
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| Now, now, you know what? I… I saw ‘em walkin’, it wou— it would…
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| Way on down
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| And did they say it
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| Way on down
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| Uh, down in France
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| Under France
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| Oh yeah, now you won’t believe it
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| They got the diseases
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| Disea-seases
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| Like you ain’t never seen
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| Disea-seases
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| I said they got a mystery blow job
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| Disea-seases
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| Turn your peter green
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| Disea-seases
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| Down in France
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| Ain’t that somethin’?
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| Way down
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| Say down in France
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| Say, look, I saw the color, i— i— it looks just like i— it was…
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| Way on down
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| And then it turned
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| Way on down
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| That was under France
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| Oh yes, it would… listen… look!
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| They got some coffee
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| Co-co-coffee
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| Eatin’ right through the cup
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| Co-co-coffee
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| An’ when you go ka-ka
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| Co-co-coffee
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| They make you stand up
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| Co-co-coffee
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| Down in France
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| That’s where it’s located
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| Way down
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| Uh, down in France
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| No-now listen, I ka-ka one time and then I heard it
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| Way on down
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| And then I went…
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| Way on down
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| That was down in France
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| Under France
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| Now listen…
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| If you’re not careful
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| Care-care-careful
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| It’ll stick to your cheeks
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| Care-care-careful
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| You’ll smell like a native
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| Care-care-careful
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| For a couple of weeks
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| Care-care-careful
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| Down in France
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| Ooh, somethin’ smellin’, I guess
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| Way down
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| Down in France
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| That’s where it were, listen, I… I smelled it, it went…
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| Way on down
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| And then it smelled like…
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| Way on down
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| That was down in France
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| Under France
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| Ooh, smell it in front of him
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| Oh, smell your harmonica, go on, smell it, son
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| Uh-huh
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| Hold your nose
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| Uh-huh, they’re comin’ too after you
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|
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| Now we cannot wait
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| Wait, wait waiting
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| Till we go back
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| Wait, wait waiting
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| Gets so exciting
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| Wait, wait waiting
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| When the poodles ▶ “react”
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| In France
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| Uh-huh, rough
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| Way down in France
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| I’m talkin’ ‘bout bow-wow, uh-huh, say, they… they’re rough
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| Way on down
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| And then they’re kinda…
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| Way on down
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| Never try to get yo’ peter sucked in France
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| Merci… oui… OW!
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| He’s so gay
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| He’s so gay
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| He’s very, very gay
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| Yeah
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| He’s so gay
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| He’s gay
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| And he likes to be that way
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| MOO-AHHH
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| With his keys on the right
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| He’s into rubber every night
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| He’s so gay
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| He’s so gay
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| He’s ALMOST EVERYONE TODAY
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| He’s OK
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| He’s OK
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| He’s got a role he wants to play
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| He’s OK
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| He’s OK
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| He’s just a cowboy for a day
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| Of course, his evening’s not complete
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| Without some meat in the seat
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| Let’s skate away
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| Down Santa Monica today
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| Well well well
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| Maybe he wants a little spanking
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| Maybe he’ll eat a little chain
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| He’ll eat some chain
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| Maybe his lover should be thanking him
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| For the way he makes it sprinkle
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| Into drops of GOLDEN RAIN
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| MOO-AHHH
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| MOO-AHHH
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| MOO-AHHH
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| UHH-OHH
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| He’s so gay
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| He’s so gay
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| He rules the city in a way
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| You could say
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| You could say
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| It’s sorta different today
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| All the taffeta and chintz
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| And every Leather Boy’s a PRINCE
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| Hey hey hey!
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| Please don’t look the other way
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| You could be just like him TOMORROW!
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| Mah-mah-mah-mah-mah-mah
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| Maybe you’ll get a chance to borrow
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| Borrow
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| His bouquet
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| And maybe later…
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| MAYBE LATER…
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| We’ll ALL BE GAY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y!
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|
|
✄ DO YOU REALLY WANNA HURT ME?
|
| MOO-AHHH!
|
| [FZ] What’s the thing that they’s talkin’ about everywhere
|
| SEX
|
| When they wanna be suave an’ debonair?
|
| SEX
|
| What’s poppin’ up the most from coast to coast
|
| SEX
|
| At your bongo party an’ your weenie roast?
|
| SEX
|
| Even them Christians who is born again
|
| SEX
|
| Go out an’ get pooched every now an’ then
|
| SEX
|
| Do you do or don’t you don’t?
|
| SEX
|
| Bet you’re lyin’ if you say you won’t
|
|
|
| Some girls try it an’ go on a diet
|
| Then they worry ‘cause they’s too fat
|
| Who wants t’ride on an ironin’ board?
|
| That ain’t no fun… I tried me one
|
|
|
| Grow that meat all over your bones
|
| Work the wall ▶ with the local jones
|
| An’ while you do it, remember this line
|
| The Sniffer says it all the time:
|
|
|
| “The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’
|
| The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’
|
| The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’
|
| The bigger the cushion…”
|
|
|
| Makes no difference if you’re young or old
|
| SEX
|
| Don’t you act like it’s made of gold?
|
| SEX
|
| Ladies they need it just like the guys
|
| SEX
|
| Maybe you could use a protein surprise
|
| SEX
|
| Layin’ down or standin’ up
|
| SEX
|
| If it feels good, just keep it up
|
| SEX
|
| Any time, anywhere
|
| SEX
|
| Why do you think it’s growin’ there?
|
|
|
| Some girls try it an’ they don’t like it
|
| They complain ‘cause it don’t last
|
| Who wants to ride on a debutante?
|
| They talks too much… they moves too fast
|
|
|
| Watch the scenery while you ride
|
| You can be very warm inside
|
| An’ when the ✄ train goes ‘round the bend
|
| Check the shrub’ry on the other end
|
|
|
| “The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’
|
| The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’
|
| The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’
|
| The bigger the cushion…”
|
|
|
| “The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’
|
| The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’
|
| The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin’
|
| The bigger the cushion…”
|
| [FZ] It was the blackest night, there was no moon in sight
|
| You know, the stars ain’t shinin’ ‘cause the sky’s too tight
|
| I heard the scary wind, I seen some ugly trees
|
| There was a werewolf honkin’ ‘long the side of me
|
|
|
| I’m mean an’ I’m bad, y’know, I ain’t no sissy
|
| Got a big-titty girly by the name of Chrissy
|
| Talkin’ about her an’ my bike an’ me…
|
| An’ this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, Mystery
|
|
|
| I noticed even the crickets were actin’ weird up here
|
| An’ so I figured I might just drink a little beer
|
| I said: “Gimme summa that, what you’re suckin’ on…”
|
| But there was no reply ‘cause she was gone…
|
|
|
| “Where’s those titties I like so well
|
| An’ my goddamn beer!” is what I started to yell
|
| Then I heard this noise like a crunchin’ twig
|
| An’ ✄ UP, jumped the Devil, he’s about this big…
|
|
|
| He had a red suit on an’ a widow’s peak
|
| An’ then a pointed tail an’ like a sulphur reek
|
| Yes, it was him awright, I swear I knowed it was
|
| He had some human flesh stuck underneath his claws
|
|
|
| You know, it looked to me like it was titty skin
|
| I said: “You, son of a bitch!” ‘cause I was mad at him
|
| Well, he just got out his floss an’ started cleanin’ his fang
|
| So I shot him with my shooter, said: “BANG BANG BANG”
|
|
|
| Then the sucker just laughed an’ said
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Oh, put it away…
|
| You know, I ate her all up…
|
| Now what you gonna say?
|
|
|
| [FZ] You ate my Chrissy?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Titties an’ all!
|
| [FZ] Well, what about the beer then, boy?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Ah, were the cans this tall?
|
|
|
| [FZ] Even her boots?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Would I lie to you?
|
| [FZ] Shit, you musta been hungry
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Yes, this is true
|
|
|
| [FZ] Don’t they pay you good for the stuff that you do?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Well, you know, I can’t complain when the checks come through…
|
|
|
| [FZ] Well, I want my Chrissy an’ I want my beer
|
| So you just barf it back up, now, Devil, do you hear?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man!
|
| I mean, I am the Devil, do you understand?
|
| Just what will you give me for your titties and beer?
|
| I suppose you noticed this little contract here…
|
|
|
| [FZ] You’re goddam right, you, son-of-a-whore
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Don’t call me that!
|
| [FZ] That’s about the only reason I learned writin’ for…
|
| Gimme that paper… bet yer ass I will sign
|
| Because I need a beer an’ it’s titty-squeezin’ time!
|
|
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Man, you can’t fool me… you ain’t that bad!
|
| I mean you shoulda seen some of the souls that I’ve had…
|
| [FZ] Oh yeah?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Why, there was Milhous Nixon an’ Agnew, too…
|
| An’ both of those suckers was worse ‘n you…
|
|
|
| [FZ] Well, let’s make a deal if you think that’s true.
|
| I mean, you’re the Devil… so whatcha gonna do?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Wait a minute, a tinge of doubt crosses my mind when you say that you want to make a deal with me
|
| [FZ] That’s very, very true
|
|
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Wait, you ain’t supposed to wanna make a deal with me
|
| [FZ] Ah, but I’m slightly different than your average customer, Devil
|
| [Terry Bozzio] But, wait, but most people don’t want to make a deal with me
|
|
|
| [FZ] I’m only interested in two things, that’s titties and beer, you know what I mean?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] What?
|
| [FZ] Yeah
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Titties and beer?
|
| [FZ] Titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer…
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Whoa, I don’t know if you’re the right guy!
|
| [FZ] Titties and beer, titties and beer, titties and beer
|
|
|
| [Terry Bozzio] No! Don’t sign it! Give me time to think… I mean…
|
| [FZ] Alright!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Hold on a second, boy… ‘cause that’s magic ink!
|
|
|
| [FZ] And then the Devil let go of his pickle an’ out jumped m’ girl
|
| They heard the titties plop-ploppin’ all around the world
|
| She said: “I got me three beers an’ a fist fulla downs
|
| An’ I’m gonna get ripped, so fuck you clowns!”
|
| Then she gave us the finger, it was rigid an’ stiff
|
| That’s when the Devil, he farted an’ she went right over the cliff
|
| (Whoa! Tinsel time!)
|
|
|
| Well, the Devil was mad, I took off to my pad
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| [FZ] Turn, turn
|
| Turn, turn
|
| We’re turning again
|
| Turn, turn
|
| Turn, turn
|
| We’re turning again
|
|
|
| They took a whole bunch of acid
|
| So they could see where it’s at
|
| It’s over there, over there, over there, over there and under here also
|
| Doont da-doodem doodem!
|
| They lived on a whole bunch of nothing
|
| They thought they looked very good
|
| They’d never ever worry, they were always in a hurry
|
| To convince themselves that what they were was really very groovy
|
|
|
| Yes, they believed in all the papers
|
| And the magazines that defined their folklore
|
| They could never laugh at who or what they thought they were
|
| Or even what they thought they sorta oughta be
|
| They were TOTALLY EMPTY
|
| Totally empty
|
| And their lives were really useless, so what the fuck?
|
| They didn’t have no sense of humor
|
| Oodly-oodly-yeah!
|
| Now they got nothing left to laugh about, including themselves
|
|
|
| Turn, turn
|
| Turn, turn
|
| We’re turning again
|
| Turn, turn
|
| Turn, turn
|
| We’re turning again
|
|
|
| [Ike Willis] The year 1967 drug-crazed youth discovered vagrancy as a way of life
|
| EWW-WW!
|
| ✄ They were mellow, they were yellow, they were wearing smelly blankets, they looked like DONOVAN fans
|
| ✄ HU-UR-DE-EE GU-UR-DE-EE
|
| They walkin’ ‘round with stupid flowers in their hair an’ everywhere, they tried to stuff ‘em up the guns
|
|
|
| Of all the cops and other servants of the law
|
| LA LA-LA-LA LA-LA
|
| Who tried to push ‘em around and later mowed ‘em down
|
| But they were full of all that shit that they believed in
|
| PHEW!
|
| So what the fuck?
|
| WHAT THE FUCK?
|
|
|
| Now, I seen ‘em tightenin’ up their headbands on the weekend and they get loaded when they came to town
|
| They walk around in Greenwich Village to buy posters they could hang up in dem smelly little secret black light bedrooms on LONG ISLAND singin’:
|
| “JIMI COME BACK!”
|
| Now come back and regulate de boy’s furz-tone
|
| Yo’ ✄ HAZE was so PURPLE
|
| It caused your ✄ AXIS to be BOLD AS LOVE
|
| JIMI-JIMI-JIMI-JIMI-JIMI FEED BACK
|
| Now Jimi gimme some feedback
|
| Come back and feed back on my knapsack
|
| You can feed back the fuzz tone from your WAH-WAH while you bend down and set your stuff on fire
|
|
|
| [FZ] Turn, turn
|
| Turn, turn
|
| We’re turning again
|
| Turn, turn
|
| Turn, turn
|
| We’re turning again
|
|
|
| We can turn it around, we can go back in time, we can do it all again
|
| ✄ Through the canyons of your mind on the ✄ EVE O’ DESTRUCTION
|
| We can act like we are something really special
|
| [Ike Willis] WOOOH
|
| We’ll just jump in the bathtub with that other guy JIM
|
| And make him be more careful
|
| We can visit Big Mama
|
| And whap her on the back
|
| When she eats her sandwich
|
| LA LA LA LA
|
|
|
| We can take care of Janis
|
| When she gets so depressed
|
| She can’t take it no more
|
| We can laugh at Keith Moon’s jokes
|
| HA HA HA HA HA!
|
| And the color TV
|
| HA HA!
|
| He threw out de windum fum de second flew-ah!
|
| YEAAHHHH!
|
|
|
| Everybody come back
|
| No one can do it like you used to
|
| If you listen to the radio and what they play today
|
| You can tell right away: all those assholes really need you!
|
|
|
| [FZ] Turn, turn
|
| Turn, turn
|
| We’re turning again
|
| Turn, turn
|
| Turn, turn
|
| We’re turning again
|
|
|
| Turn, turn
|
| Turn, turn
|
| We’re turning again
|
| Turn, turn
|
| Turn, turn
|
| We’re turning again
|
| Motel room mo-mo-mo-mom mo-mo-mom
|
| Motel room mo-mo-mo-mom mo-mo-mom
|
| Motel room mo-mo-mo-mom mo-mo-mom
|
| Motel room mo-mo-mo-mom mo-mo-mom
|
|
|
| [FZ] Whoever we are, wherever we’re from
|
| We shoulda noticed by now our behavior is dumb
|
| And if our chances expect to improve
|
| It’s gonna take a lot more than tryin’ to remove
|
| The other race or the other whatever
|
| From the face of the planet altogether
|
|
|
| They call it “the Earth”, which is a dumb kinda name
|
| But they named it right ‘cause we behave the same…
|
| We are dumb all over
|
| Dumb all over, yes we are
|
| Dumb all over, near an’ far
|
| Dumb all over, black an’ white
|
| People, we is not wrapped tight
|
|
|
| Nurds on the left, nurds on the right
|
| Religious fanatics on the air every night
|
| Sayin’ the Bible tells the story
|
| An’ makes the details sound real gory
|
| ‘Bout what to do if the geeks over there
|
| Don’t believe in the Book we got over here
|
|
|
| You can’t run a race without no feet
|
| An’ pretty soon there won’t be no street
|
| For dummies to jog on or doggies to dog on
|
| Religious fanatics can make it be all gone
|
| (It won’t blow up an’ disappear
|
| It’ll just look ugly for a thousand years…)
|
|
|
| You can’t run a country by a book of religion
|
| Not by a heap or a lump or a smidgeon
|
| Of foolish rules of ancient date
|
| Designed to make you all feel great
|
| While you fold, spindle and mutilate
|
| Those unbelievers from a neighboring state
|
|
|
| To arms! To arms! Hooray! That’s great
|
| Two legs ain’t bad unless there’s a crate
|
| They ship the parts to mama in
|
| For souvenirs: two ears (Get down!)
|
| Not his, not hers (But what the hey?)
|
| The Good Book says: “It gotta be that way”
|
| But their book says: “Revenge the crusades
|
| With whips an’ chains an’ hand grenades”
|
| Two arms? Two arms?
|
| Have another and another
|
| Our God says: “There ain’t no other”
|
| Our God says: “It’s all OK”
|
| Our God says: “This is the way”
|
|
|
| It says in the Book: “Burn an’ destroy
|
| An’ repent an’ redeem an’ revenge an’ deploy
|
| An’ rumble thee forth to the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
|
| ‘Cause they don’t go for what’s in the Book an’ that makes ‘em bad”
|
| So verily we must choppeth them up
|
| Or stompeth them down
|
| Or rent a nice French bomb
|
| To poof them out of existence
|
| While leaving their real estate just where we need it
|
| To use again
|
| For temples in which to praise
|
| Our God
|
| (“‘Cause He can really take care of business!”)
|
|
|
| And when his humble TV servant
|
| With white hair
|
| And a brown suit
|
| And maybe a blonde wife who takes phone calls
|
| Tells us it is OK to do this stuff
|
| Then we’re supposed to do it
|
| ‘Cause if we don’t do it
|
| We ain’t gwine up to hebbin!
|
| (Depending on which book you’re using at the time…
|
| Can’t use theirs… it’s all lies… gotta use mine…)
|
| Ain’t that right?
|
| That’s what they say
|
| Every night…
|
| Every day…
|
| Listen, we can’t really be dumb
|
| If we’re just following God’s Orders
|
| After all, He wrote this Book here an’ in the Book He says:
|
| “He made us all to be just like Him”
|
| So… if we’re dumb… then God is dumb
|
| (An’ maybe even a little bit ugly on the side)
|
|
|
| Dumb all over
|
| A little ugly on the side
|
| Dumb all over
|
| A little ugly on the side
|
| Dumb all over
|
| A little ugly on the side
|
| Dumb all over
|
| A little ugly on the side
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
| [Father Riley B. Jones & various party goers] Well
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| With a tiny little mustache
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| Do you know how they go?
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| In the Rectory Basement
|
| Father Riley’s a fairy but it don’t bother Mary
|
|
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| At the CYO
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| Do you know how they go?
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| There can be no replacement
|
| How do they go, after the show?
|
|
|
| [Joe] All the way
|
| That’s the way they go
|
| Every day
|
| And none of their mamas ever seem to know
|
| Hip-hip-hooray
|
| For all the class they show
|
| There’s nothing like a Catholic Girl
|
| At the CYO
|
| When they learn to blow…
|
|
|
| [Father Riley B. Jones] They’re learning to blow all the catholic boys!
|
| [Mary] Warren Cuccurullo…
|
| [Father Riley B. Jones] Catholic Boys!
|
| [Mary] Kinda young, kinda WOW!
|
| [Father Riley B. Jones] Catholic Boys!
|
| [Mary] Vinnie Colaiuta…
|
| [Chorus] Where are they now? Did they all take The Vow?
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [Father Riley B. Jones] Catholic Girls!
|
| [Warren Cuccurullo] Carmenita Scarfone!
|
| [Father Riley B. Jones] Catholic Girls!
|
| [Officer Butzis] Hey! She gave me VD!
|
| [Father Riley B. Jones] Catholic Girls!
|
| [Warren Cuccurullo] Toni Carbone!
|
| [Chorus] With a tongue like a cow she could make you go WOW!
|
|
|
| [Joe] VD Vowdy vootie, right away
|
| That’s the way they go
|
| Every day
|
| Whenever their mamas take them to a show
|
| Matinee
|
| Pass the popcorn, please
|
| There’s nothing like a Catholic Girl
|
| With her hand in the box
|
| When she’s on her knees
|
|
|
| [Larry] She was on her knees
|
| My little Catholic Girl
|
| [Chorus] In a little white dress
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| They never confess
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| I got one for a cousin
|
| I love how they go
|
| So send me a dozen ▶
|
|
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| OOOOOOH!
|
| Well well well
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-mum
|
| Yai-ee-ahhh!
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| OOOOOOH!
|
| Well well now
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-ma-ma-mum
|
| Yai-ee-ahhh!
|
|
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| Ma-ma ma-ma-maaah
|
| OOOOOOH!
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| Yai-ee-ahhh!
|
| Well well
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| Ma-ma ma-ma-ma-mum
|
| OOOOOOH!
|
| Ma-ma ma-ma ma-mum
|
| Catholic Girls
|
| Yai-ee-ahhh!
|
| Ma-ma ma-ma-ma-mum
|
| [FZ] I couldn’t say where she’s comin’ from
|
| But I just met a lady named Dinah-moe humm
|
| She stroll on over, say: “Look here, bum
|
| I got a forty-dollar bill say you can’t make me cum
|
| (Y’ jes’ can’t do it)”
|
|
|
| She made a bet with her sister who’s a little bit dumb
|
| She could prove it any time all men was scum
|
| I don’t mind that she called me a bum
|
| But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
|
| (So I got down to it)
|
|
|
| I whipped off her bloomers an’ stiffened my thumb
|
| An’ applied rotation on her ✄ sugar plum
|
| I poked an’ stroked till my wrist got numb
|
| But I still didn’t hear no Dinah-moe humm
|
| Dinah-moe humm
|
|
|
| Dinah-moe humm
|
| Dinah-moe humm
|
| Where’s this Dinah-moe comin’ from?
|
| I done spent three hours an’ I ain’t got a crumb
|
| From the Dinah-moe, Dinah-moe, Dinah-moe
|
| From the Dinah-moe humm
|
|
|
| [The Ikettes] Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
|
| An’ you ain’t been to it
|
| No, no, no, no!
|
| Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
|
| An’ you ain’t been to it
|
| No, no, no!
|
| Got a spot that gets me hot
|
| But you ain’t been to it
|
| No, no, no, no, no!
|
| Got a spot that gets me hot
|
| But you ain’t been to it
|
|
|
| ‘Cause I can’t get into it unless I get out of it
|
| An’ I gotta get out of it before I get into it
|
| ‘Cause I never get into it unless I get out of it
|
| An’ I gotta be out of it to get myself into it
|
|
|
| [FZ] She looked over at me with a glazed eye and some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area, and she said:
|
|
|
| “Just get me wasted an’ you’re half-way there
|
| ‘Cause if my mind’s tore up then my body don’t care”
|
| I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin an’ said: “My-my-my
|
| What sort of thing might this lady get high upon?”
|
|
|
| I checked out her sister who was holdin’ the bet
|
| An’ wondered what kind of trip the young lady was on
|
| The forty-dollar bill didn’t matter no more
|
| When her sister got nekkid an’ laid on the floor
|
|
|
| She said Dinah-moe might win the bet
|
| But she could use a little (yaw!) if I wasn’t done yet
|
| I told her just because the sun want a place in the sky
|
| No reason to assume I wouldn’t give her a try
|
|
|
| So I pulled on her hair
|
| Got her legs in the air
|
| An’ asked if she had any cooties in there
|
| Whaddya mean cooties? No cooties on me!
|
|
|
| She was buns-up kneelin’
|
| BUNS-UP!
|
| I was wheelin’ an’ dealin’
|
| WHEELIN’ AN’ DEALIN’ AN’ OOOOH!
|
| She surrender to the feelin’
|
| SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED!
|
| An’ she started in to squealin’
|
|
|
| Dinah-moe watched from the edge of the bed
|
| With her lips just a-twitchin’ an’ her face gone red
|
| Some drool rollin’ down from the edge of her chin
|
| While she spied the condition her sister was in
|
|
|
| She quivered an’ quaked an’ clutched at herself
|
| While her sister made a joke about her mental health
|
| Till Dinah-moe finally did give in
|
| But I told her all she really needed was some discipline… ▶
|
|
|
| Kiss my aura… Dora…
|
| Mmm… It’s real angora
|
| Would y’all like some more-a?
|
| Right here on the flora?
|
| An’ how ‘bout you, Fauna?
|
| Y’wanna?
|
| Yes
|
|
|
| Mmm… Sound like you’re chokin’ on somethin’
|
|
|
| You know, I’m gonna find me a horse, just about this big ▶
|
| An’ ride him all along the border line
|
| Yes
|
| Do it, Frenchie ▶
|
| Mmm… You like horses?
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| It’s comin’… It’s comin’… It’s comin’… ah
|
|
|
| Did you say you want some more? Well, here’s some more!
|
|
|
| Oh, baby
|
|
|
| Oh, sure… look
|
| D’you think I could interest you in a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?
|
|
|
| Mmm… Tweezers!
|
| Wait a minute, lemme sterilize ‘em… gimme your lighter…
|
|
|
| I couldn’t say where she’s comin’ from
|
| But I just met a lady named Dinah-moe humm
|
| She stroll on over, say: “Look here, bum
|
| I got a forty-dollar bill say you can’t make me cum
|
| (Y’ jes’ can’t do it)”
|
|
|
| I whipped off her bloomers an’ stiffened my thumb
|
| An’ applied rotation on her sugar plum
|
| I poked an’ stroked till my wrist got numb
|
| An’, you know, I heard some Dinah-moe humm
|
| Some Dinah-moe humm
|
|
|
| Dinah-moe humm
|
| Dinah-moe humm
|
| Dinah-moe
|
| Dinah-moe
|
| Some Dinah-moe
|
| An’ a little Dinah-moe
|
| An’ some Dinah-moe
|
| An’ some Dinah-moe
|
| An’ some Dinah-moe
|
| An’ a little Dinah-moe
|
| An’ some Dinah-moe
|
| An’ some Dinah-moe
|
| An’ some Dinah-moe
|
| An’ a Dinah-moe again
|
| An’ Dinah-moe
|
| An’ Dora too, lil’ Dinah an’ Dora
|
| From Madame Wong’s to Starwood to the Whisky on the Strip
|
| You can hear the crashing, blasting strum of bands that come to be real hip
|
| And get a record contract from a talent scout someday
|
| They’ll sell their ass, their cocks and balls, they’ll take the check an’ walk away
|
|
|
| If they’re lucky they’ll get famous for a week or two perhaps
|
| They’ll buy some ugly clothes to wear and hope the business don’t collapse
|
| Before some stupid magazine decides they’re really good
|
| They’re a Tinsel Town Rebellion Band from DOWNTOWN HOLLYWOOD!
|
|
|
| Tinsel Town Rebellion
|
| Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
|
| It’s a little bitty Tinsel Town Rebellion
|
| A Tinsel Town Rebellion Band
|
|
|
| They used to play all kinds of stuff and some of it was nice
|
| Some of it was musical, but then they took some guy’s advice
|
| To get a record deal, he said, they would have to be more PUNK
|
| Forget their chops and play real dumb or else they would be sunk
|
|
|
| So off they go to S.I.R. to learn some stupid riffs
|
| Oh no!
|
| NO!
|
| No, no, no, no, no, no
|
| NO!
|
| It’s the 80’s again!
|
| No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
|
|
|
| And when they think they’ve got it
|
| They launch a new career
|
| Who gives a fuck if what they play
|
| Is somewhat insincere?
|
| ✄ Let’s dance the blues again, get down!
|
| Dance the blues again, everybody!
|
| Dance the blues again, hey!
|
|
|
✄ I write the songs that make the young girls cry!
|
|
|
| Did you know that in Tinsel Town the people down there think that substance is a bore?
|
| And if your New Wave group looks good they’ll hurry on back for more
|
| Of leather groups
|
Eye to eye, ✄ rock you like a nincompoop!
|
| And plastic groups
|
✄ Whip it good!
|
| And groups that look real queer
|
✄ I’ll tumble 4 ya!
|
I’ll tumble 4 ya!
|
I’ll tumble 4…
|
Moo moo moo moo moo
|
Moo moo moo moo moo
|
Moo moo moo moo moo
|
Moo moo moo MOO-AHHH!
|
| The Tinsel Town aficionados come to see and not to hear
|
| But then again this system works as perfect as a dream
|
| It works for all of those record company pricks who come to skim the… CREAM
|
| From the cesspools of excitement where Jim Morrison once stood
|
| It’s the Tinsel Town Rebellion from down down down
|
| Down down down
|
| Town town town
|
| Town town town
|
| Holl loll loll
|
| Holl loll loll
|
| Lly lly lly lly
|
| Woo-oo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ood
|
|
|
| Downtown Hollywood!
|
| An incredibly ugly little town!
|
| It’s really boring!
|
| [FZ] Valley girl, she’s a Valley girl
|
| Valley girl, she’s a Valley girl
|
| OK, fine…
|
| Fer sure, fer sure
|
| She’s a Valley girl
|
| In a clothing store
|
| OK, fine…
|
| Fer sure, fer sure
|
| She’s a…
|
|
|
| [Moon Zappa] Like, OH MY GOD!
|
| Valley girl
|
| Like, TOTALLY
|
| Valley girl
|
| Encino is like SO BITCHEN
|
| Valley girl
|
| There’s like the Galleria
|
| Valley girl
|
| And like all these like really great shoe stores
|
| I love going into like clothing stores and stuff
|
| I like buy the neatest mini-skirts and stuff
|
| It’s like so bitchen ‘cuz like everybody’s like
|
| Super-super nice…
|
| It’s like so bitchen, like…
|
|
|
| [FZ] On Ventura, there she goes
|
| She just bought some bitchen clothes
|
| Tosses her head an’ flips her hair
|
| She got a whole bunch of nothin’ in there
|
|
|
| [Moon Zappa] Anyway, he goes: “Are you into S&M?” I go: “Oh, right…”
|
| Could you like just picture me in like a leather teddy?
|
| Yeah right, HURT ME, HURT ME…
|
| I’M SURE! NO WAY!
|
| He was like freaking me out…
|
| He called me a beastie…
|
| That’s ‘cuz like he was totally blitzed
|
| He goes like: “Bag your face”, I’m sure!
|
|
|
| [FZ] Valley girl, she’s a Valley girl
|
| Valley girl, she’s a Valley girl
|
| OK, fine…
|
| Fer sure, fer sure
|
| She’s a Valley girl
|
| So sweet an’ pure
|
| OK, fine…
|
| Fer sure, fer sure
|
| She’s a…
|
|
|
| [Moon Zappa] It’s really sad
|
| Valley girl
|
| Like my English teacher, he’s like…
|
| Valley girl
|
| He’s like Mr. Bu-Fu
|
| Valley girl
|
| We’re talking Lord God King Bu-Fu
|
| Valley girl
|
| I am so SURE
|
| He’s like so gross
|
| He like sits there and like plays with all his rings
|
| And he like flirts with all the guys in the class
|
| It’s like TOTALLY disgusting
|
| I’m like so sure
|
| It’s like BARF ME OUT!
|
| GAG ME WITH A SPOON!
|
|
|
| [FZ] Last idea to cross her mind
|
| Had something to do with where to find
|
| A pair of jeans to fit her butt
|
| And where to get her toenails cut
|
|
|
| [Moon Zappa] So like I go into this like salon place, y’know
|
| And I wanted like to get my toenails done
|
| And the lady like goes, oh my God:
|
| “Your toenails are like so grody”
|
| It was like really embarrassing
|
| She’s like oh my God, like bag those toenails
|
| I’m like sure…
|
| She goes uh… “I don’t know if I can handle this, y’know…”
|
| I was like really embarrassed
|
|
|
| [FZ] Valley girl, she’s a Valley girl
|
| Valley girl, she’s a Valley girl
|
| OK, fine…
|
| Fer sure, fer sure
|
| She’s a Valley girl
|
| And there is no cure
|
| OK, fine…
|
| Fer sure, fer sure
|
| She’s a Valley girl
|
| And there is no cure
|
|
|
| [Moon Zappa] Like my mother is like a TOTAL space cadet
|
| Valley girl
|
| She like makes me do the dishes and…
|
| Valley girl
|
| Clean the cat box
|
| Valley girl
|
| I am SURE, that’s like GROSS
|
| Valley girl
|
| BARF OUT!
|
| Valley girl
|
| OH MY GOD!
|
| Valley girl
|
| Hi! Uh-huh
|
| Valley girl
|
| My name? My name is Ondrya Wolfson
|
| Valley girl
|
| Uh-huh… that’s right, Ondrya
|
| Valley girl
|
| Uh-huh… I know, it’s like…
|
| Valley girl
|
| I DO NOT TALK FUNNY, I’m sure
|
| Valley girl
|
| Whatsa matter with the way I talk?
|
| Valley girl
|
| I am a Val, I know
|
| Valley girl
|
| But I live in like in a really good part of Encino so it’s OK
|
| Valley girl
|
| Huh-ah
|
| Valley girl
|
| So like, I don’t know
|
| Valley girl
|
| I’m like FREAKING OUT TOTALLY
|
| Valley girl
|
| Oh my GOD!
|
| Valley girl
|
| I asked orthodontist
|
| Valley girl
|
| I’m getting my braces off, y’know
|
| Valley girl
|
| But I have to wear a retainer
|
| That’s going to be really like a total bummer
|
| I’m freaking out
|
| I’m sure
|
| Like those things that like stick in your mouth
|
| They’re SO GROSS…
|
| You like get saliva all over them
|
| But like, I don’t know, it’s going to be cool, y’know
|
| So you can see my smile
|
| It’ll be like really cool
|
| Except my like my teeth are like too small
|
| But no biggie…
|
| It’s SO awesome
|
| It’s like tubular, y’know
|
| Well, I’m not like really ugly or anything
|
| It’s just like…
|
| I don’t know
|
| You know me, I’m like into like the clean stuff
|
| Like Pac-Man and like, I don’t know
|
| Like my mother like makes me do the dishes
|
| It’s like so gross…
|
| Like all the stuff like sticks to the plates
|
| And it’s like… it’s like somebody else’s food, y’know
|
| It’s like GRODY… GRODY TO THE MAX
|
| I’m sure
|
| It’s like really nauseating
|
| Like BARF OUT
|
| GAG ME WITH A SPOON!
|
| GROSS
|
| I am sure
|
| Totally…
|
| [FZ] I want a nasty little Jewish princess
|
| La-la-la
|
| With long phony nails and a hairdo that rinses
|
| Wee-oo-oo
|
| A horny little Jewish princess
|
| With a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma
|
| FAH!
|
|
|
| Lonely inside
|
| Well, she can swallow my pride
|
|
|
| I need a hairy little Jewish princess
|
| La-la-la
|
| With a brand new nose
|
| Oo-ee-oo
|
| Who knows where it goes?
|
| I want a steamy little Jewish princess
|
| KSSSH!
|
| With over-worked gums, who squeaks when she cums
|
|
|
| I don’t want no troll
|
| I just want a Yemenite hole
|
|
|
| I want a darling little Jewish princess
|
| La-la-la
|
| Who don’t know shit about cooking and is arrogant looking
|
| Woo-eee-ooo
|
| A vicious little Jewish princess
|
| To specifically happen with a pee-pee that’s snappin’
|
|
|
| All up inside
|
| I just want a princess to ride
|
|
|
| Awright, back to the top…
|
| Hi-yo, Silver! Away!
|
|
|
| Everybody twist!
|
|
|
| I want a funky little Jewish princess
|
| La-la-la
|
| A grinder, a bumper, with a pre-moistened dumper
|
| A brazen little Jewish princess
|
| HI-YO!
|
| With titanic tits
|
| WHOAH!
|
| And sand-blasted zits
|
|
|
| She can even be poor
|
| So long as she does it with four on the floor
|
| Vapor-lock
|
|
|
| I want a dainty little Jewish princess
|
| La-la-la
|
| With a couple of sisters who can raise a few blisters
|
| A fragile little Jewish princess
|
| HI-YO!
|
| With Rumanian thighs, who weasels an’ lies
|
| For two or three nights
|
| Won’t someone send me a princess who bites?
|
| Won’t someone send me a princess who bites?
|
| Won’t someone send me a princess who bites?
|
| Won’t someone send me a princess who bites?
|
| [Ike Willis] Yo’ cats, yo-yo
|
| Yo’ chooch, way to go
|
| You is dead, but you don’t know
|
| Yo’ let’s carve, hey, where’s the blow?
|
|
|
| Get your fiddle, get your bow
|
| Play some footballs on your hoe
|
| Watch your watch, play a little flat
|
| Make the session go overtime, that’s where it’s at
|
|
|
| Hey, saxophone, clarinet
|
| How many doubles can you get?
|
| Special rules provide the way
|
| To help you maximize your pay
|
|
|
| Your Girl, Arlyn’s, what’s the diff?
|
| What’s the service that you’re with?
|
| So long as you can suck the butt
|
| Of the contractor who calls you up
|
|
|
| Your career could take a thud
|
| Unless you kneel and scarf his pud
|
| And when the dates come rollin’ in
|
| You can wipe your lips and flash a grin
|
| That tells them all at the jingle date
|
| That you enjoyed what you just ate
|
|
|
| Yum yum, dog-food
|
| Hemorrhoid cream but the bread’s so good
|
| New RV and the leisure suit
|
| Hey, I play shit but I love that loot
|
|
|
| Thank the union, it’s so great
|
| Only a few get to be on the date
|
| Those other schmucks with electric guitars
|
| Got to play for poot in the B scale bars
|
|
|
| You have made it, you are cool
|
| You have been to the Berklee school
|
| You give clinics on the side
|
| Music has died… and… no one cried
|
|
|
| Yo’ cats, yo-yo
|
| Yo’ chooch, way to go
|
| You is dead
|
|
|
| Hey! Have a nice one, guy!
|
 Art by Ralph Steadman.jpg "(Front) Art by Ralph Steadman")
 Art by Ralph Steadman.jpg "(Back) Art by Ralph Steadman")
Songs list
| 
Title origin
| 
Watch video
|