| Album notes by Gail Zappa
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| We are pleased here at UMRK and Vaulternative Records to announce a new series of audio entertainments. Among these are the more primitive audio documentary attempts to capture the essence of what was highly and improbably and even impossibly out there on the road in some of the worst audio terrain imaginable. Other less exciting and seriously mundane circumstances beyond control also contributed to these less than stellar audio nuggets but those were challenges of a different kind. In “You Can’t Do That on Stage Anymore”, our inspiration for this series, FZ wrote in the Volume 1 Notes:
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“Prior to purchasing the UMRK mobile studio, all ‘first class’ live recordings had to be done using rented equipment. This meant that high quality live recordings could only be obtained in major cities where professional gear was available (London or New York).
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The unfortunate aspect of this tradition is that if anybody in the band became ill on the recording day, the results of that handicapped performance wound up on tape… and, conversely, the fantastic performances in the small towns and villages survive only on 2-track or 4-track ‘guerilla recordings’!”
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| This is another one those “guerilla recordings”, following almost exactly 40 years to the day later, we are pleased to present those delights from Venue #2.
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| According to Joe, this may very well be the first time Kerry McNab ventured out there with FZ, having been assigned not only to mix the front of house AND stage monitor systems, but also to run tape, capturing the performances of this amazing Mothers line-up. Kerry recounted to Joe the horrors of the noisy and troublesome console, need yet be soldiered on documenting show after show with a variety of tape formats. Joe found 2tk and 4tk recordings - quarter-inch, half-inch and one-inch tape. The record speed of the tapes is inconsistent, some recorded at 15 ips and others at 7½ ips. The slower speed sacrifices fidelity but allows for the capture of a complete show without dealing with reel changes. Yo ho ho and some of the tapes were recorded with the European EQ curve CCIR. Joe had to compensate for this during the transfer to digital by re-aligning the tape machine used for the 2012 transfers, an OTARI MX5050-BQ II ¼” four-track. Lucky we were to locate that!
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| “Those Helsinki tapes, interestingly enough, were found on both formats with only one tape machine used to record three shows over two days at Finlandia Hall. Show One and most of Show Two on 2 track stereo tapes while the rest of Show Two and all of Show Three on four-track tapes configured with a 2 channel stereo mix and two channels of audience microphones”, says Joe. Isn’t this exciting? We thought so too.
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| [FZ] Hello!
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| Before we start, I’d like to introduce the members of the group to you and have them play a little bit, so that we know everything works (And Kerry, can you please put some vocal in this monitor box here? There isn’t any)
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| Over there, with a pink jerkin and the little sticks in her hand, is Ruth Underwood, who plays vibes
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| Marimba
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| Bongos!
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| Those bongos are not coming out. Play ‘em again.
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| Somebody find out why the bongos are not coming out. Well, meanwhile, the timpani.
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| Doesn’t sound like the timpani are coming out either
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| [Ruth Underwood] I think the bongos are on
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| [FZ] Try the bongos then
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| Bongos audible. Try the timpani again.
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| Timpani audible
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| Bass drum
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| Gong
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| Pathetic. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Ralph Humphrey on drumset.
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| And cowbells
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| More cowbells, please
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| Yes, yes, yes. And George Duke on keyboard instruments.
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| Including synthesizer
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| Hammond organ
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| Is that coming out out there? It doesn’t sound like it.
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| Hit the organ again
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| That’s better. OK. Clavinet.
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| Wonderful. Grand piano.
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| Suave! And on electric bass, Tom Fowler.
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| And on violin, Jean-Luc Ponty
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| Trombone, Bruce Fowler
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| Bass clarinet, Ian Underwood
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| Also on synthesizer, Ian Underwood
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| Well, I think we’ve checked everything. Is this coming out?
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| Must be
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| The name… The name of the first song we’re going to play is “The Eric Dolphy memorial barbecue”. And then it goes into another song called “Kung fu”. And then it goes into another song called “Penguin in bondage”. And then it goes into another song called “Exercise #4”. And then it goes into another song called “Dog breath”. And then it goes into another song called “The dog breath variations”. And then it goes into another song called “Uncle Meat”. And then it goes into another song called “RDNZL”. And then it stops.
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| (Take it slow? Yeah, take it… take it slow, so we get accurate performance of “Kung fu”. OK? With the real groove to it, you know)
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| One, two, three, two, two, three
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| [FZ] She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy
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| Way over on the wet side of the bed
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| Just like the mighty penguin
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| Flappin’ her eight ounce wings
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| Lord, you know it’s all over
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| If she come atcha on the strut & wrap ‘em all around yer head
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| Flappin’ her eight ounce wings, flappinumm
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| She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy
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| Shake up the pale-dry ginger ale
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| Tremblin’ like a penguin when the battery fail
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| Lord, you must be havin’ her jumpin’ through a hoopa real fire ▶
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| With a Kleenex wrapped around a coat-hang wire
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| [Instrumental]
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| She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy
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| Howlin’ over to some antarcticulated moon
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| In the frostbite nite with her flaps gone white
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| Shriekin’ as she spot the hoop across the room
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| (Shriekin’)
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| Lord, you know it must be a penguin bound down
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| If you hear that terrible screamin’ and there ain’t no other birds around
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| She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy
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| She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy
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| Aw, you must be careful not to leave her straps TOO LOOSE
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| ‘Cause she just might box yer dog
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| ‘Cause she just might box yer dog
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| An’ leave you a dried-up dog biscuit…
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| [FZ] Right. This is a song, folks, about dental floss. That’s that string that you put between your teeth to get the corn pieces out.
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| One, two, one, two, three, four
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| I might be movin’ to Montana soon
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| Just to raise me up a crop of dental floss
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| Raisin’ it up
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| Waxin’ it down
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| In a little white box
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| That I can sell uptown
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| By myself I wouldn’t have no boss
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| But I’d be raisin’ my lonely dental floss
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| Raisin’ my lonely dental floss
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| Well, I just might grow me some bees
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| But I’d leave the sweet stuff to somebody else
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| Ah, but then, on the other hand I would…
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| Keep the wax
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| An’ melt it down
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| Pluck the floss
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| An’ swish it aroun’
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| I would have me a crop
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| An’ it’d be on top (that’s why I’m movin’ to Montana)
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| Oh woopy-ty-o-ty-ay
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| Movin’ to Montana soon
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| Gonna be a dental floss tycoon
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| [Instrumental]
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| I’m gonna find me a horse, just about this big
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| An’ ride him all along the border line
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| With a…
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| Pair of heavy-duty
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| Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
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| Every other wrangler would say
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| I was mighty grand
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| But by myself I wouldn’t have no boss
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| ‘Cause I’d be raisin’ my lonely dental floss
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| Raisin’ my lonely dental floss
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| Raisin’ my lonely dental floss
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| Well, I might ride along the border
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| With my tweezers gleamin’ in the moon-lighty night
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| (A little tweezer gleam!)
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| And then I’d…
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| Get a cuppa cawfee
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| An’ give my foot a push…
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| Just me an’ the pygmy pony
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| Over by the dennil floss bush
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| An’ then I might just jump back on
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| An’ ride like a cowboy into the dawn to Montana
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] The name of this song is “Dupree’s paradise”, and features a piano introduction and some other stuff by Mr. George Duke
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] You know, there’s an old story, goes something like this…
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| Some folks are hot
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| And some folks are not
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| Some people’s cold
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| And some people ain’t too swift to behold
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| Some people do it
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| And some people don’t
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| But when the po-jama do it
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| You might wish that they won’t
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| Because it’s just those cozy little footies on their mind
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| The cozy little footies on their mind
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| You know there’s nothing like a personality that’s constructed like an accordion
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| Unless it’s a personality that’s constructed like…
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| A cozy little footie on your mind
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| One night only, the po-jama people live in person in Finland, hey!
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| The po-jama people can droop it
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| The po-jama people can scoop it
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| The po-jama people can poop it
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| But the po-jama people sure can’t boogie
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| [Instrumental]
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| Look out, folks, they’re all gonna do it
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| Watch real close
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| The po-jama people are just about to spew it
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| Here they go!
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| The following program is being brought to you by the Steve Desper Bathrobe Foundation
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| [FZ] Well, I think what we’re gonna do right now is make something up. One time only. For this audience here. Ian will start it off.
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Cowbell
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] DUNT-DUN-DUN!
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| And how about you, folks, why don’t you try and sing along with this song? All you have to do is go: DUNT-DUN-DUN!
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| It’s just like you know in the monster movies, when the monster comes out. It’s the part… It’s the part that the cello section always does, you know? The monster comes out and then it goes: DUNT-DUN-DUN!
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| OK, you ready? All together now. I wanna hear if they’re in tune.
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| Now wait a minute, before I came over here somebody told me that the Finnish people were innately withdrawn, that they were shy and that sometimes, well, som— people think that they’re really reserved. But if… if there’s something that would just cut ‘em loose one time that there was so much pent-up emotion and… and warmth and craziness locked inside of each and everyone of you out there, that if you just had a good enough reason, that you would just spew it all over Finlandia Hall.
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| Now, work yourselves into an emotional frenzy, I’m telling you this has to be the music for you. This is The One. This is The Big One. This will be your hit single. All you have to do is say: DUNT-DUN-DUN!
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| You ready?
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| [Audience] DUNT-DUN-DUN!
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| [FZ] Fantastic!
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| One more time!
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| [Audience] DUNT-DUN-DUN!
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| [FZ] Dunt-dun-dun
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| Dunt-dun-dun
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| A little bit lower now
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| Dunt-dun-dun
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| Dunt
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| Dunt-dun
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| Dunt-dunt-dun-dun
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| Dunt
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| Dunt-dun
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| Dunnn
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| Well, that about wraps it up for tonight, folks. Thanks very much for coming to our concert. We’ll see you later, and… dunt-dun-dun.
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| Thank you
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| [FZ] Thank you
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| OK, we have sort of a rock & roll song for you now. But don’t despair, it’ll get weird and abstruse and unintelligible again in just a couple of minutes. The song that’s gonna happen right now is called “Village of the sun” and it features Mr. George Duke again, singing in a high voice.
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| Sickness, folks. Sickness.
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| [George Duke] Goin’ back home to the village of the sun
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| Out in back of Palmdale, where the turkey farmers run
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| I done made up my mind and I know I’m gonna go to Sun
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| Village, good God, I hope the wind don’t blow
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| It take the paint off your car and wreck the windshield too
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| I don’t know how the people stand it, but I guess they do
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| ‘Cause they’re all still there (even Johnny Franklin too)
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| In the village of the sun
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| Village of the sun
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| Village of the sun, son
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| (Sun Village to you-ooo ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo)
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| Little Mary, and Teddy, and Thelma too, now
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| Where Palmdale Boulevard cuts on through
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| Past the Village Inn & Barbecue now
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| (Well, I heard it ain’t there… but I hope it ain’t true)
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| Where the stumblers gonna go to watch the lights turn blue?
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| Where the stumblers gonna go to watch the lights turn blue?
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| Goin’ back home to the village of the sun
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| Out in back of Palmdale, where the turkey farmers run
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| I done made up my mind and I know I’m gonna go to Sun
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| Village, good God, I hope the wind don’t blow
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| It take the paint off your car and wreck the windshield too
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| I don’t know how the people stand it, but I guess they do
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| ‘Cause they’re all still there (even Johnny Franklin too)
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| In the village of the sun
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| Village of the sun
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| Village of the sun, son
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| (Sun Village to you-ooo ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo)
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Thank you!
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| Thank you. Ralph Humphrey on duck call, ladies and gentlemen, Ralph Humphrey!
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| The Acme duck call, ladies and gentlemen, the Acme duck call.
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| OK, we’re gonna play an old song for you now, so old it’s almost a year old. It’s called “Big Swifty”.
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| George Duke’s big challenge.
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| (OK, without the drums for the first part)
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Thank you
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| We’re gonna play another instrumental event for you. This is called “Farther O’Blivion”.
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| Sounds like a few of you people have been there already
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| (Do it fast?)
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| Yksi, kaksi
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| Ready? One, two, three, one, two, three.
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Psychedelic music ✄ is here to stay
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Everybody sing along!
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Now, folks, as you all know, in every good psychedelic number there’s the part where it gets loud and the feedback comes in, and then there’s the part where it gets soft and sensitive, and then there’s a lot of Echoplex stuff in the background, because it’s like ✄ the canyons of your mind, you understand? You know, all that deep, sensitive… teen-age stuff.
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| So because this is a regular psychedelic number we don’t wanna leave out any aspect of the necessary elements to make it a hit.
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| Whenever somebody has a hit record you know there’s always ONE THING on the record that sticks out. It’s the part that everybody remembers and that is called “THE HOOK” of the record. And usually it’s the most OBVIOUS THING on the record. So, because this is a regular psychedelic number and we want it to be a hit, we’re going to show you where THE HOOK is, so you won’t forget it. OK?
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| Now, this part here, this is THE HOOK. Whenever you hear this part you— your mind will drift back through the cosmos to the hook of the record.
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Thank you very much for coming to the concert tonight. Hope you enjoyed it.
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| Ian Underwood on synthesizer
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| Bruce Fowler on trombone
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| Ruth Underwood on percussion
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| Jean-Luc Ponty on violin
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| Ralph Humphrey on drums
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| Tom Fowler on bass
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| George Duke on keyboards
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| And the Acme duck call
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| Thank you very much and good night!
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| THE HOOK!
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Thank you
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| Alright, we’re gonna play an old song for you now. We get a lot of requests for this song. Maybe not in Finland, we don’t, but, in other places.
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| [Guy in the audience] “Brown shoes don’t make it”
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| [FZ] That’s right: “Brown shoes don’t make it”
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| Everybody ready?
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| Dunt-dun-dun ▶. The new international language, ladies and gentlemen. D-U-N, hyphen, D-U—… well… D-U-N-T, hyphen, D-U-N, hyphen, D-U-N, hyphen, D-U-N.
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| And don’t you forget it.
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| [FZ] One, two, one, two, three
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| Brown shoes don’t make it
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| Brown shoes don’t make it
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| Quit school, why fake it?
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| Brown shoes don’t make it…
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| TV dinner ▶ by the pool
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| Watch your brother grow a beard
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| Got another year of school
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| You’re OK but he’s too weird
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| Be a plumber
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| He’s a bummer
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| He’s a bummer
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| Every summer
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| Be a loyal plastic robot for a world that doesn’t care…
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| Smile at every ugly
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| Shine on your shoes & cut your hair
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| Be a joik and go t’woik
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| Be a joik and go t’woik
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| Be a joik and go t’woik
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| Be a joik and go t’woik
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| Do your job & do it right
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| Life’s a ball
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| TV tonight…
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| Do you love it?
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| Do you hate it?
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| There it is… the way you made it…
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| DUNT-DUN-DUN ▶
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| Dunt-dun-dun, dunt-dun
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| A world of secret hungers
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| Perverting the men who make your laws
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| Every desire is hidden away
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| In a drawer… in a desk by a Naugahyde chair
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| On a rug where they walk and drool past the girls in the office
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| Hratche-plche hratche-plche hratche-plche hratche
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| We see in the back of the City Hall mind
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| The dream of a girl about thirteen
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| OFF with her clothes and into a bed
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| Where she tickles his fancy all night long
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| His wife’s attending an orchid show
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| She squealed for a week to get him to go
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| But back in the bed, his teen-age queen
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| Is rocking & rolling & acting obscene
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| And he loves it, he loves it, it curls up his toes
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| She bites his fat neck and it lights up his nose
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| But he cannot be fooled, old City Hall Fred
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| She’s nasty, she’s nasty, she digs it in bed!
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| Do it again and do it some more
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| That does it, by golly, it’s nasty for sure
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| Nasty nasty nasty, nasty nasty nasty
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| (Only thirteen and she knows how to nasty…)
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| Well, she’s a dirty young mind, corrupted, corroded
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| Well, she’s thirteen today and I hear she gets loaded
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| P-pum-m-mum-m-mum-m-mum
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| P-pum-m-mum-m-mum-m-mum
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| P-pum-m-mum-m-mum
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| P-bum
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| If she were my daughter, I’d…
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| What would you do, daddy?
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| If she were my daughter, I’d…
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| What would you do, daddy?
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| If she were my daughter, I’d…
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| What would you do, daddy?
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| Smother that girl in chocolate syrup
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| And strap her on again, oh baby!
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| Smother that girl in chocolate syrup
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| And strap her on again
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| She’s a teen-age baby, she turns me on
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| I’d like to make her do a nasty on the White House lawn
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| Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup
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| And boogie till the cows come home
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| Time to go home, Madge is on the phone
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| Get to meet the Gurneys and a dozen grey attorneys
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| TV dinner ▶ by the pool, I’m so glad I finished school
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| Life is such a ball, I run the world from City Hall!
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| [Instrumental]
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| [FZ] Thank you and good night
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 Design by Joseph Carter.jpg "(Front) Design by Joseph Carter")
.jpg "(Booklet)")
.jpg "(Booklet)")
Songs list
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Title origin
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