 Design by Joseph Carter.jpg "(Front) Design by Joseph Carter")
.jpg "(Booklet)")
.jpg "(Booklet)")
|
Live at Tyrone Guthrie Theater, Minneapolis, MN - July 5, 1970
Linked material:
|
| Album notes by Gail Zappa
|
| We are pleased here at UMRK and Vaulternative Records to announce a new series of audio entertainments. Among these are the more primitive audio documentary attempts to capture the essence of what was highly and improbably and even impossibly out there on the road in some of the worst audio terrain imaginable. Other less exciting and seriously mundane circumstances beyond control also contributed to these less than stellar audio nuggets but those were challenges of a different kind. In “You Can’t Do That on Stage Anymore”, our inspiration for this series, FZ wrote in the Volume 1 Notes:
|
“Prior to purchasing the UMRK mobile studio, all ‘first class’ live recordings had to be done using rented equipment. This meant that high quality live recordings could only be obtained in major cities where professional gear was available (London or New York).
|
The unfortunate aspect of this tradition is that if anybody in the band became ill on the recording day, the results of that handicapped performance wound up on tape… and, conversely, the fantastic performances in the small towns and villages survive only on 2-track or 4-track ‘guerilla recordings’!”
|
| Album notes by Joe Travers
|
| Here we have another installment in the Road Tapes series! Venue #3 is special because it represents some of the only complete shows found in the vault of the 1970 Mothers of Invention. The master tapes are in excellent shape and were recorded live to stereo 2-track reel-to-reel. One unfortunate problem, outside of some occasional azimuth adjustments, was dealing with reel one. The master tape was re-used and material was recorded over with the live performance. Unfortunately whenever there is a quiet passage, or the signal to tape isn’t loud enough, the old audio is audible… and backwards! Thankfully this is only heard during the first 35 minutes or so of the entire program. This explains the constant shift in stereo image, as we had to literally delete the left channel and process the right channel in “Stereo” (Thanks to Craig Parker Adams). Due to the historical relevance of these tapes, we decided it was worth it to release it warts and all. We hope you enjoy the effort!
|
| Of course, Frank used sections of “King Kong” and “The clap” to construct the piece “The Nancy & Mary music” found on the 1970 album “Chunga’s Revenge”. Now, with the release of the full concerts, you have the opportunity to hear those performances as they happened that night, unedited and raw.
|
| To basically quote FZ in the liner notes to “You Can’t Do That on Stage Anymore”, we hope you enjoy “Road Tapes, Venue 3” and will find time to hear the entire series.
|
| [FZ] Bop bop… bop bop bop… bop bop…
|
| [?] Gross, eh?
|
|
|
| [Jeff Simmons] Is it on?
|
|
|
| [FZ] All right. Will the man in the control… control booth please start the tape? We’re gonna record this tonight. See what happens, if anything good turns up, it might wind up on a record someplace.
|
| (You boys, get ready […])
|
| [?] Yes, sir!
|
| [FZ] Our program will begin with excerpts from “King Kong”, the story of a large gorilla.
|
✄ Bringing in the sheaves
|
Bringing in the sheaves
|
We shall come rejoicing
|
Bringing in the sheaves
|
|
|
| L.A. in the summer of ‘69
|
| I went downtown and bought some wine
|
| Wasted my head on three quarts of juice
|
| Now the grapes won’t turn me loose
|
| I’m a wino man
|
| Don’t you know I am?
|
|
|
| 36, 24, hips about 30
|
| 36, 24, hips about 30
|
| Seen a fine lady and I started talkin’ dirty
|
| I’ve seen a fine lady and I started talkin’ dirty
|
| She looked at me and raised the thumb
|
| Thumb, yeah
|
| Said: “Jam down the road, you funky-ass bum”
|
| I’m a wino man
|
| Don’t you know I am?
|
|
|
| I… I went to the country
|
| And while I was gone
|
| A roller-headed lady
|
| Caught me weedling on her lawn
|
| I am so ashamed, but I’m a wino man
|
| And I can’t help myself
|
| HELP ME SOMEBODY!
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| I’m a wino man
|
| Don’t you know I am?
|
|
|
| My saxophone playing
|
| And my wino career are in a slump
|
| ‘Cause I find myself now living
|
| In a cardboard refrigerator box down by the Houston dump
|
| And I’m so ashamed
|
| WHOOAAAH!
|
|
|
| You know, drinkin’ all night till my eyes are all red
|
| Crashed in the gutter, got bugs in my head
|
| Bugs in my coat, scratchin’ like a dog
|
| Can’t stand water and I stink like a hog
|
| Give me fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks and a hot meal
|
| Fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks and a hot meal
|
| Give me fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks and a hot meal
|
| Fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks and a hot meal
|
| Fi-i-i-i-i-ive…
|
| Concentration moon, over the camp in the valley
|
| Concentration moon, wish I was back in the alley
|
| With all of my friends still running free
|
| Hair growing out every hole in me
|
|
|
| American way, how did it start?
|
| Thousands of creeps killed in the park
|
| American way, try and explain
|
| Scab of a nation driven insane
|
|
|
| Don’t cry
|
| Gotta go, bye-bye
|
| Suddenly die, die
|
| Cop, kill a creep!
|
| Pow pow pow
|
|
|
| Concentration moon, over the camp in the valley
|
| Concentration moon, wish I was back in the alley
|
| With all of my friends still running free
|
| Hair growing out every hole in me
|
|
|
| American way, threatened by us
|
| Drag a few creeps away in a bus ▶
|
| American way, prisoner lock
|
| Smash every creep in the face with a rock
|
|
|
| Don’t cry
|
| Gotta go, bye-bye
|
| Suddenly die, die
|
| Cop, kill a creep!
|
| Pow pow pow
|
| Mama! Mama!
|
| Someone said they made some noise
|
| The cops have shot some girls & boys
|
| You’ll sit home & drink all night
|
| They looked too weird, it served them right
|
|
|
| Mama! Mama!
|
| Someone said they made some noise
|
| The cops have shot some girls & boys
|
| You’ll sit home & drink all night
|
| They looked too weird, it served them right
|
|
|
| Ever take a minute just to show a real emotion
|
| In between the moisture cream & velvet facial lotion?
|
| Ever tell your kids you’re glad that they can think?
|
| Ever say you loved ‘em? Ever let ‘em watch you drink?
|
| EVER WONDER WHY YOUR DAUGHTER LOOKED SO SAD?
|
| IT’S SUCH A DRAG TO HAVE TO LOVE A PLASTIC MOM & DAD!
|
|
|
| Mama! Mama!
|
| Your child was killed in the park today
|
| Shot by the cops as she quietly lay
|
| By the side of the creeps she knew…
|
| They killed her too
|
| The air escaping from your mouth
|
| The hair escaping from your nose
|
| My heart escaping from the scraping and the shaping of the draping…
|
|
|
| I’m awaking in a T-shirt, in a Chevy
|
| At the beach
|
| And I’m freezing
|
| And I’m wheezing
|
| And I know you were only teasing
|
|
|
| I hit you
|
| Then I beat you
|
| Then I told you
|
| That I love you
|
| In my car
|
| In a jar
|
| Homunculus! ▶
|
| In my car
|
| In a jar
|
|
|
| The air escaping from your pits
|
| The hair escaping from my teeth
|
| My hands are gripping but they’re slipping and they’re dripping ‘cause I’m tripping
|
|
|
| I… I got busted
|
| Coming through customs
|
| With a suitcase
|
| Full of tapes
|
| It was a special
|
| Tape recording
|
| And they grabbed me
|
| While I was boarding
|
|
|
| They grabbed me, then they beat me, then they told me they don’t like me
|
| And I crashed
|
| In my Nash
|
| We can crash
|
| In my Nash
|
| We can crash
|
| In my Nash
|
| (Good God!)
|
|
|
| Won’t you please hear my plea?
|
| Yeah!
|
| La la la-la-la-la la la
|
| La la la-la-la-la la la
|
| La la la-la-la-la la la
|
| La la la-la-la-la la la
|
|
|
| La la la la la wee-ooo
|
| La la la la la wee-ooo
|
|
|
| La la la-la-la-la la la
|
| La la la-la-la-la la la
|
| La la la-la-la-la la la
|
| La la la-la-la-la la la
|
|
|
| La la la la la wee-ooo
|
| La la la la la wee-ooo
|
|
|
| Primer mi carucha (Chevy ‘39 ▶)
|
| Going to El Monte Legion Stadium ▶
|
| Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
|
| Helps me stealing hub caps, wasted all the time
|
|
|
| Fuzzy dice, bongos in the back
|
| My ✄ ship of love is ready to attack
|
|
|
| Buy me a carucha (Chevy ‘39)
|
| Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
|
| Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
|
| Helps me stealing hub caps, wasted all the time
|
|
|
| Fuzzy dice, bongos in the back
|
| My ship of love is ready to attack
|
| Won’t you please hear my plea?
|
| Won’t you please hear my plea?
|
| Won’t you please hear my plea?
|
| We are the other people
|
| We are the other people
|
| We are the other people
|
| You’re the other people too
|
| Found a way to get to you
|
|
|
| Do you think that I’m crazy? Out of my mind?
|
| Do you think that I creep in the night and sleep in a phone booth?
|
|
|
| Lemme take a minute & tell you my plan
|
| Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
|
| If it doesn’t show, think you better know I’m another person
|
|
|
| Do you think that my pants are too tight?
|
| Do you think that I’m creepy?
|
|
|
| Better look around before you say you don’t care
|
| Shut your fuckin’ mouth about the length of my hair
|
| How would you survive if you were alive, shitty little person?
|
|
|
| We are the other people
|
| We are the other people
|
| We are the other people
|
| You’re the other people too
|
| Found a way to get to you
|
|
|
| We are the other people
|
| We are the other people
|
| We are the other people
|
| You’re the other people too
|
| Found a way to get to you
|
|
|
| Do you think that I love you, stupid & blind?
|
| Do you think that I dream through the night of holding you near me?
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| Why didn’t you try? I’m so lonely
|
| I’m so lonely
|
| No matter who I take home, I keep callin’ your name
|
| And you… (I need you so bad) you’re The One, babe
|
|
|
| Tell me, tell me, who’s lovin’ you now
|
| ‘Cause it worries my mind and I can’t sleep at all
|
| I stayed home on Friday just to wait for your call
|
|
|
| And you didn’t try, you didn’t try, you didn’t try, you didn’t try to call me
|
| Why didn’t you try? I’m so lonely
|
| I’m so lonely
|
| No matter who I take home, I keep callin’ your name
|
| And you… (I need you so bad) you’re The One, babe
|
|
|
| Tell me, tell me, who’s lovin’ you now
|
| ‘Cause it worries my mind and I can’t sleep at all
|
| I stayed home on Friday just to wait for your call
|
| Good God! Feet on fire!
|
|
|
| I can’t say what’s wrong or what’s right
|
| All you gotta do is call me, babe
|
|
|
| You make me feel so excited, girl!
|
| I got so hung up on you from the moment that we met
|
| That no matter how I try, I can’t keep the tears
|
| From running down my face, I’m all alone at my place
|
|
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| Yeah, you didn’t try to call me, babe
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| Call it by name
|
| You gotta call one today
|
| When you get off the train
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| And the chances are good
|
| Yeah-eh-hey
|
| The vegetable will respond to you
|
| Ooh ooh la-la-ah la-la
|
| The vegetable will respond to you
|
| Ooh ooh la-la-ah la-la
|
| Look out!
|
|
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| Pick up your phone
|
| Think of a vegetable
|
| Lonely at home
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| And the chances are good
|
| Yeah-eh-hey
|
| The vegetable will respond to you
|
| Ooh ooh la-la-ah la-la
|
| The vegetable will respond to you
|
| Ooh ooh la-la-ah la-la
|
|
|
| A rutabaga, ladies and gentlemen!
|
|
|
| Ruta-bay-ay-ayga, ruta-bay-ay-ayga ruta-bay-ay-ayga, ruta-bay-ay-ayga…
|
| Ruta-bayyyyy…
|
|
|
| Ah, I can’t stand it!
|
|
|
| No one will know if you don’t want to let ‘em know
|
| No one will know ‘less it’s you that might tell ‘em so
|
| Call and they’ll come to you smiling and covered with dew
|
| Vegetables dream…
|
| Vegetables dream…
|
| Vegetables dream of responding to you
|
|
|
| Standing there shiny & proud by your side
|
| Holding your joint while the neighbors decide
|
| Why is a vegetable something to hide?
|
| To hide!
|
| To hide!
|
| To hide!
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Shoo-shoo shoo-shoo
|
| Shoo-shoo shoo-shoo
|
|
|
| [FZ] You know, a lot of people don’t bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom. They think: “What can I say? What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?” And the answer is simple, my friends: just call, and tell ‘em how you feel…
|
| About muffins!
|
| YEAHH!
|
| Pumpkins!
|
| YEAHH!
|
| Wax paper!
|
| YEAHH!
|
| Caledonias, mahoganies, elbows and…
|
| YEAH!
|
| Green things in general
|
| And soon: A NEW RAPPORT! You and all your new little green & yellow buddies grooving together! Maintaining your coolness ▶ together! Worshipping together in the church of your choice!
|
| Only in America!
|
|
|
✄ God bless America
|
Land that I…
|
|
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| Call it by name
|
| (Good God!)
|
| You gotta call one today
|
| When you get off the train
|
|
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| And the chances are good
|
| Oh, that the vegetable will respond to you
|
|
|
| HUFFA PUFFA HUFFA PUFFA HUFFA PUFFA HUFFA PUFFA
|
| What a pumpkin…
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Everybody sing!
|
|
|
| Primordial!
|
|
|
| [FZ] No. Go “Yeah, yeah, yeah” and “Wo wo wo”.
|
|
|
| [Jeff Simmons] […] my ham-bone […]
|
| It can’t happen HERE
|
| It can’t happen HERE
|
| I’m telling you, my DEAR
|
| That it can’t happen HERE
|
| Because I been checkin’ it out, baby
|
| I checked it out a coupla times
|
|
|
| Oh, darling, it’s important that you believe me
|
| Bop bop bop bop
|
| That it can’t happen here
|
|
|
| Who COULD IMAGINE that they would freak out somewhere in Kansas?
|
| Kansas, Kansas, Kansas, Kansas
|
| Kansas
|
| Who COULD IMAGINE that they would freak out somewhere in Minnesota?
|
| (Minnesota, Minnesota!)
|
| Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi
|
|
|
| [FZ] I suppose that’s all you needed to hear of that one. All right, I’ll tell ya, we’ve got this song here that we recor— (Silence, fool!) that we recorded in London a couple of weeks ago and we thought it was a reasonably commercial song, but of course it’s doomed if we put our name on it and put the thing out on the market. It’s a, you know, it’s a boy-girl situation song, it’s a simplistic love song…
|
| [?] Acne love
|
| [FZ] A sealed tuna sandwich ▶ of a song…
|
| [?] […] here in Minnesota
|
| [FZ] All right, now, the name of this song is “I’m crying for Sharleena” and uh… it’ll probably be released under the pseudonym of “The Bognor Regis”
|
|
|
| [?] It’s a ladies’ choice
|
| [Jeff Simmons] The Amboy Dukes brother
|
|
|
| [Howard Kaylan] You […] the bottom line!
|
| [Mark Volman] Ladies and gentlemen, the turkey of our group, Jeff Simmons
|
| […]
|
|
|
| [FZ] One!
|
| […]
|
| [FZ] Edgar Winter
|
| [?] Edgar Winter, ladies and gentlemen
|
| [Jeff Simmons] Ladies and gentlemen, Edgar Winter
|
| [Mark Volman] Frank’s had fun, uh… Jeff’s had fun, we’ve all had fun
|
| [Howard Kaylan] I’ve had fun!
|
| [Jeff Simmons] And you too, on the end of the stage
|
|
|
| [FZ] You have to be really in tune when you play these commercial songs
|
|
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Stay off my back, Frank, heh heh heh
|
| I’m cryin’, I’m cryin’
|
| Cryin’ for Sharleena, don’t you know?
|
| I called up all my baby’s friends an’ ask’n ‘um where she done went
|
| But nobody ‘round here seems to know where my Sharleena’s been
|
| Where my Sharleena’s been
|
|
|
| I’m cryin’, I’m cryin’
|
| Cryin’ for Sharleena, can’t you see?
|
| I called up all my baby’s friends an’ ask’n ‘um where she done went
|
| But nobody ‘round here seems to know where my Sharleena’s been
|
| Where my Sharleena’s been
|
|
|
| Ten long years I been lov’n her
|
| Ten long years and I thought deep down in my heart she was mine
|
| Ten long years I been lov’n her
|
| Ten long years I would call her my baby and now I’m always cryin’
|
| I’m cryin’, yes
|
|
|
| I would be so delighted, I would be so delighted
|
| If they would just send her on home to me
|
|
|
| I would be so delighted (aah-ha ah), I would be so delighted (aah-ha ah ah)
|
| If they would just send her on home to me
|
|
|
| Oh, send my baby home
|
| Send my baby home to me
|
| Oh, send my baby home to me
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Why doesn’t somebody somewhere…
|
| Why don’t you send her home?
|
| Why don’t you send my baby home?
|
| Send my baby home to…
|
| Why can’t you send her home to me?
|
|
|
| [FZ] Thank you very much
|
| [FZ] … so we can capture this moment. We… We’ve been… We’ve been recording our shows here, in the Tyrone Power Theater… to put them in the time capsule.
|
| [?] Ian!
|
| [?] So mystical!
|
|
|
| [?] One, two, three
|
| [?] […] Could you fix this microphone? One, two. Sounds very bassy.
|
| [FZ] Listen. We’ve… We’ve been on the road for 23 days. This is the last show of this particular tour and uh… as some of you might know from uh… past legends that were spread around about the activities of our ensemble, strange things tend to happen and all the tensions of the road get released live on stage… LEWD! Yes, this is the show, ladies and gentlemen.
|
|
|
| [Howard Kaylan] This microphone sucks
|
| [Mark Volman] Hey man, is very bassy
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Up, up. Oh, Ian, you’re so Roaring Twenties!
|
| [FZ] I’d like to introduce the members of the… (SILENCE!) I’d like to introduce the members of the uh… ensemble to you at the time. Here we have Larry Mondello… Larry Mondello… Larry Mondello… Larry Mondello… Larry Mondello… AND LARRY MONDELLO! And I’m your host, Larry Mondello.
|
| [?] Yeah!
|
| [?] Bastard Beaver!
|
| [?] You bastard Beaver! What is this?
|
|
|
| [FZ] Alright
|
| […]
|
| [?] It’s Larry
|
| WOW! JUSTINE!
|
|
|
| Well, Justine (Justine)
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| You know you just don’t treat me right
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| You know you just don’t treat me right
|
| You like to go out in the morning
|
| Stay out late at night
|
|
|
| Goin’ to the barber shop, gonna have ‘em do me up
|
| Gonna get clean for my little buttercup
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| She’s my little baby and you know she drives me wild
|
| She’s my mama’s, papa’s, brother’s, brother’s, uncle’s crazy child
|
| Ow!
|
|
|
| WOW!
|
|
|
| Well, Justine (Justine)
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| You know you just don’t treat me right
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| You know you just don’t treat me right
|
| You like to go out in the morning
|
| Stay out late at night
|
|
|
| Well, goin’ to the barber shop, gonna have ‘em do me up
|
| Gonna get clean for my little buttercup
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| Justine (Justine)
|
| Justine
|
| Justine
|
| Well, she’s my little baby and you know she drives me wild
|
| She’s a mama’s, papa’s, brother’s, uncle’s, sister’s crazy child
|
| WOW!
|
|
|
| [FZ] Thank you
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [Guy in the audience] […]
|
| [FZ] Silence, fool!
|
| [?] […]
|
|
|
| [FZ] I told to […] on the last one of those things. Let’s do it again.
|
|
|
| […] do it again
|
|
|
| One…
|
| I’m cryin’, I’m cryin’
|
| Cryin’ for Sharleena, don’t you know?
|
| I called up all my baby’s friends an’ ask’n ‘um where she done went
|
| But nobody ‘round here seems to know where my Sharleena’s been
|
| Where my Sharleena’s been
|
|
|
| I’m cryin’, I’m cryin’
|
| Cryin’ for Sharleena, can’t you see?
|
| I called up all my baby’s friends an’ ask’n ‘um where she done went
|
| But nobody ‘round here seems to know where my Sharleena’s been
|
| Where my Sharleena’s been
|
|
|
| Ten long years I been lov’n her
|
| Ten long years and I thought deep down in my heart she was mine
|
| Ten long years I been lov’n her
|
| Ten long years I would call her my baby and now I’m always cryin’
|
| I’m cryin’, yes
|
|
|
| I would be so delighted, I would be so delighted
|
| If they would just send her on home to me
|
|
|
| I would be so delighted (ooh ooh), I would be so delighted (aah ah)
|
| If they would just send her on home to me
|
|
|
| Hey, send my baby home, oh, to me
|
| Hey hey hey
|
|
|
| I can’t understand it! I can’t understand it!
|
| Why doesn’t somebody send her home?
|
| Why don’t you send her home? Please, send her home
|
| Send my baby home to…
|
| Why don’t you send her home to me?
|
|
|
| [FZ] Thank you. Oh, get out the saxophones.
|
| [?] The saxophones…
|
| [FZ] Now, boys and girls… (Yes, of course. […]). Alright. We were rehearsing downstairs in the… they have a little dungeon down there where they keep the uh… the […] and uh… some of our rehearsal might have accidently leaked up through the air conditioning system during the prelude to our program. What we were doing was experimenting around with combinations of woodwind instruments, you know, because we wanted to give a world premiere of a piece of contemporary music here tonight but the only fitting…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Albert Ayler, ladies and gentlemen!
|
| [FZ] Oh, this is gonna be so wretched! Now, some of these fellows know how to play the instruments and some of them don’t. Guess who’s who, ha ha ha. They’ll pass among you and you can vote on them.
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [?] ♫ “Caravan”! ▶
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [?] AYNSLEY DUNBAR, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Now let’s get him out here
|
| [FZ] […] Dick Barber, ladies and gentlemen!
|
| [?] Come on, Dick
|
|
|
| [FZ] The name of this song is “The return of the hunchback duke”.
|
| [?] […]
|
|
|
| [FZ] “The return of the hunchback duke” is a combination of various things from old records. There’s some stuff from “Burnt Weeny Sandwich”, mostly from side two, “Little house I used to live in” and ends with “Cruising for burgers” from the “Uncle Meat” record. Oh, you already know how it goes, we won’t even play it.
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Sing along, won’t you?
|
|
|
| [FZ] Ready?
|
| [?] Yeah
|
| [FZ] One, two, three, one, two…
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [?] Aynsley Dunbar!
|
|
|
| Hoopla!
|
| Oink! Oink!
|
|
|
| Hoopla!
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Went on the road for a month touring
|
| What a drag! You gotta go
|
| Even if you’d rather be at home
|
| Flaked out in Hollywood
|
|
|
| Drove to Inglewood and then we dumped
|
| All our shit into the plane across the sea
|
|
|
| La la-la la
|
|
|
| Look at all the Germans
|
| La la la la la la
|
| Watch them follow orders
|
| La la la la la la
|
| See them think they’re doing something groovy in the streets
|
| Sieg Heil!
|
|
|
| See the student leader
|
| La la la la la la
|
| He’s a rebel prophet
|
| La la la la la la
|
| He’s fucked up, he’s still a Nazi like his mom and dad
|
|
|
| Played for a night in Berlin
|
| That afternoon we set up our shit and rehearsed
|
|
|
| Half a dozen phony student leaders in the hall
|
| Came to see if I could find a way to help them all
|
|
|
| “What is your desire?”
|
| La la la la la la
|
| “Help us start a fire
|
| La la la la la la
|
| In the Allied Center, round the corner down the street”
|
|
|
| And then we began to play
|
| A bunch of punks arose from the crowd
|
| Student rebels, their flags of red
|
| Began to chant “Ho Chi Minh”
|
| “Ho, Ho, Ho Chi Minh”
|
| Threw tomatoes
|
|
|
| And the next thing we knew we were under siege
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| I must be free
|
| My fake I.D.
|
| Freeeeeees me
|
|
|
| Gotta do a few things to make my life complete
|
| (SURE!)
|
| I gotta live my life (WHERE?) out on the street
|
|
|
| The difference between us is not very far
|
| Cruising for burgers in daddy’s new car
|
|
|
| My phony freedom card brings to me
|
| Instantly
|
| Ecstasy
|
| Ecstasy!
|
| ECS-TA-SYYYYY!
|
|
|
| [FZ] Incorporated in this monstrosity you will find…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Oh, let it be a surprise, Frank!
|
| [FZ] OK
|
| [Jeff Simmons] Hey, turn my mike up!
|
| [Mark Volman] Turn his mike off
|
| [Jeff Simmons] Turn my mike off!
|
| [FZ] Larry Mondello’s mike, up!
|
| [Jeff Simmons] Larry Mondello, M-O-N-D…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] You are jive, Mondello. Fuck your mike.
|
| Hey, Beav…
|
| Hey, Ian…
|
|
|
| [?] Right on, brother
|
| [FZ] Here we go. “Orange County”.
|
| [?] Get out!
|
| Now believe me when I tell you that my story’s really true
|
| I want everyone to listen and believe
|
| It’s about some little people from a long time ago
|
| And all the things the neighbors didn’t know
|
|
|
| Early in the morning daddy Dinky goes to work
|
| Selling lamps & chairs to San Ber’dino squares
|
| And I still remember mama with her apron & a chair
|
| Feeding all the boys at Ed’s Cafe
|
|
|
| Whizzing & pasting & pooting through the day
|
| (Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away)
|
| And all the while on a shelf in the shed
|
| Kenny’s little creatures on display
|
|
|
| Kenny saves his numie on a window in his room
|
| (A marvel to be seen: dysentery green)
|
| While Kenny and […] have a game out in the back
|
| Let’s make the water turn black
|
|
|
| We see them after school in a world of their own
|
| (To some it might seem creepy what they do)
|
| The neighbors on the right sat & watched them every night
|
| (I bet you’d do the same if they was you)
|
|
|
| Whizzing & pasting & pooting through the day
|
| (Ronnie helping Kenny helping burn his poots away)
|
| And all the while on a shelf in the shed
|
| Kenny’s little creatures on display
|
|
|
| Ronnie’s in the Army now & Kenny’s taking pills
|
| Oh, how they yearn to see a bomber burn
|
| Colors flashing, thunder crashing, dynamite machine
|
| Wait till the fire turns green
|
| Wait till the fire turns green
|
| Wait till the fire…
|
| I’m gonna tell you the way it is
|
| And I’m not gonna be kind or easy
|
| Your whole attitude stinks, I say
|
| And the life you lead is completely empty
|
|
|
| You paint your head
|
| Your mind is dead
|
| You don’t even know what I just said
|
|
|
| THAT’S YOU, AMERICAN WOMANHOOD!
|
|
|
| You’re phony on top
|
| You’re phony underneath
|
| You lay in bed & grit your teeth
|
|
|
| Mary, I want your body
|
| JOSEPH, GET BACK!
|
| Mary, it’s not merely physical
|
| JOSEPH, YOU’RE A BEAST!
|
|
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
| Oh no, I don’t believe it
|
| You say that you think you know the meaning of love
|
| Do you really think it can be told?
|
| You say ✄ love is all we need
|
| I think you should check it again, how can you say
|
| What you believe
|
| Will be the key to a world of love?
|
|
|
| Oh no, I don’t believe it
|
| You say that you think you know the meaning of love
|
| Do you really think it can be told?
|
| You say love is all we need
|
| You say with your love you can change all of the fools
|
| All of the hate
|
| I think you’re probably out to lunch
|
|
|
| All your love
|
| Will it save me?
|
| All your love
|
| Will it ✄ save the world
|
| From what we can’t understand?
|
|
|
| Oh no, I don’t believe it
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| (Good God!)
|
|
|
✄ Baby Patty
|
But her real name, her real name is Linda Lu
|
They call my baby Patty
|
But her real name, her real name is Linda Lu
|
She’s so fine and so pretty
|
Who knows what my baby’s gonna do?
|
My Linda Lu
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
| Don’t come in me, in me
|
|
|
| Aynsley Dunbar!
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [FZ] Thank you. Thank you. OK. The name of this song is “Call any vegetable”.
|
|
|
| [Guy in the audience] […]
|
| [?] Yeah, but you’re a fruit too, man!
|
| [FZ] You just tell ‘em, Larry
|
|
|
| [Guy in the audience] Right on
|
| [FZ] Let it all hang out, Larry
|
| [?] OK, Beaver
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| Call it by name
|
| You gotta call one today
|
| When you get off the train
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| And the chances are good
|
| Yeah-eh-hey
|
| The vegetable will respond to you
|
| Ooh ooh la-la-ah la-la
|
| The vegetable will respond to you
|
| Ooh ooh la-la-ah la-la
|
| (Good God!)
|
|
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| Pick up your phone
|
| Think of a vegetable
|
| Lonely at home
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| And the chances are good
|
| Yeah-eh-hey
|
| The vegetable will respond to you
|
| Ooh ooh la-la-ah la-la
|
| The vegetable will respond to you
|
| Ooh ooh la-la-ah la-la
|
|
|
| A rutabaga!
|
|
|
| Ruta-bay-ay-ayga, ruta-bay-ay-ayga ruta-bay-ay-ayga, ruta-bay-ay-ayga…
|
| Ruta-bayyyyy…
|
|
|
| No one will know if you don’t want to let ‘em know
|
| No one will know ‘less it’s you that might tell ‘em so
|
| Call and they’ll come to you smiling and covered with dew
|
| Vegetables dream…
|
| Vegetables dream…
|
| Vegetables dream of responding to you
|
|
|
| Standing there shiny & proud by your side
|
| Holding your joint while the neighbors decide
|
| Why is a vegetable something to hide?
|
| To hide!
|
| To hide!
|
| To hide!
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Shoo-shoo shoo-shoo
|
| Shoo-shoo shoo-shoo
|
|
|
| [FZ] You know, a lot of people don’t bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom. They think: “What can I say? What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?”
|
| [?] What?
|
| [FZ] Say Larry Mondello, Bert Parks, Dwight Frye…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Eddie White
|
| [FZ] George Zucco
|
| Shoo-shoo
|
| [Howard Kaylan] Thom McAn
|
| [FZ] Paul McCartney!
|
| [Jeff Simmons] Hubert Humphrey
|
| [?] Edgar Winter!
|
| [FZ] But the answer is simple, my friends: just call, and tell ‘em how you feel…
|
| About muffins
|
| YEAHH!
|
| Pumpkins
|
| YEAHH!
|
| Wax paper
|
| YEAHH!
|
| Caledonias, mahoganies, and elbows and…
|
| YEAH!
|
| Green things in general
|
| And soon: A NEW RAPPORT! You and your new little green & yellow buddies grooving together! Maintaining your coolness ▶ together! Worshipping together in the church of your choice!
|
|
|
✄ God bless America
|
Land that I…
|
|
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| Call it by name
|
| You gotta call one today
|
| When you get off the train
|
| Call any vegetable
|
| And the chances are good
|
| Oh, that the vegetable will respond to you
|
|
|
| What a pumpkin…
|
| [FZ] I wou— I would like to, for real, introduce the people in the combo before we play another tune for you: Larry Mondello, eh eh eh. No, this… See, I’ll tell you what the Larry Mondello is all about: there is a show that’s on television, “Leave it to Beaver”, you know that show? Well, anyway uh… this is… this is Mark Volman and Howard Kaylan, formerly of the Turtles. For their lives since that show came out they’re always being mistaken for Larry Mondello. Even here tonight people just really believed that these were the guys. OK, so, Mark, Howie, Ian Underwood on keyboards, Aynsley Dunbar on drums, George Duke on electric piano and organ, and Jeff Simmons STS 1057 on bass.
|
|
|
| [Mark Volman] And of course little Frankie Zappa. “Fingers Zappa”, we call him. Take it away, “Fingers”.
|
| [FZ] The name of this song is… is “The clap”.
|
|
|
| [FZ] Have to get into sort of a primordial tuning for this.
|
|
|
| [FZ] We’d like to dedicate this song to the Red Throbber… which…
|
| [Howard Kaylan] You’ve all got one.
|
| [FZ] Here we go
|
| [FZ] One, two, three, four
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [FZ] Good night
|
| [?] Thank you
|
|
|
| [FZ] All of… All of the Larry Mondellos thank you very much for coming down here tonight. Good night.
|
Songs list
| 
Title origin
| 
Listen original song on YouTube
|