Roxy - The soundtrack

Live at The Roxy, LA, CA - December 8-10, 1973

Linked material:

Roxy - The soundtrack

1 “Something terrible has happened…”

2 Cosmik debris

3 Penguin in bondage

4 T’Mershi Duween

5 Dog / Meat (The dog breath variations + Uncle Meat)

6 RDNZL

7 Echidna’s arf (of you)

8 Don’t you ever wash that thing?

9 Cheepnis - Percussion

10 Cheepnis

11 Be-bop tango (of the Old Jazzmen’s Church) {+ The hook + Anything you wanna do}

All compositions by Frank Zappa.

DVD notes by Gail Zappa

“What can I - What can I say - What can I say about this elixir” ▶ that we have been trying to quaff lo these many decades?

FZ mixed and mixed and mixed away (analog quad in ‘74, digital stereo in ‘87, with “Roxy & Elsewhere” in between) but the mad cocktail was too big for the beakers of ancient algorithmic machinations. I had witnessed FZ’s frustrations and technological thwartations with the result of the extravaganza of documenting the Roxy Performances. We had always viewed the film components as sub-standard and too expensive to fix in that era - especially given his constantly readjusted priorities of what made the most sense in which to invest his time and resources. Suffice to say that ultimately, with the exception of a few moments in the “The True Story of 200 Motels”, the only film he would actually make from this experience would be “Cheepnis”. And, who doesn’t love Monsters and Monster Movies? The opposite of cheap with a little cheesy on the side ▶. Before NOW the only place anyone could experience the madness the mayhem and the music of these concerts was in the memories of those who were actually in attendance. But here we are. The Universe certainly do work in mysterious ways. How could any of us know at any point in space and time just how very much of an actual Monster Movie this would become?

DVD notes by John Albarian

“We’re making a movie here tonight and we want to make sure that the cameras will get the music in synchronization with the picture. And something terrible has happened…”

FZ, Night One, Show One at The Roxy - 1973

I don’t know if Frank actually knew what happened when he said that, but he couldn’t have been more right… Something terrible did happen and something critical to the production was catastrophically fucked up. Frank’s four separate performances at the Roxy were essentially unwatchable: certainly not because of the performances, but because the equipment used to capture the sound for the concerts had malfunctioned. For many years, Frank (and later Gail Zappa) tried in vain to get this program to lock-up and it just didn’t happen. I can guarantee it wasn’t for a lack of trying that this film remained dormant these many decades.

So what in the hell happened? Unbeknownst to anyone on the crew, the audio recording device suffered an internal malfunction within two minutes of the very first show. There was no way for anyone to know about it until the film had been shot, processed and delivered to the editor. Since the production schedule was so short, they didn’t process any of the film until all of the shows were “in the can”. When the editor went to align the picture and sound together (using single frame flashes with beeps on the sound reels) it became apparent that the program stayed in sync for all of about five seconds. After that, the audio began to drift and drift and drift. There was virtually no way to sync those together because the percentage of the drift varied dramatically.

If it had been a constant 1% drift, for example, a correction could have been made, but a .10%, .05%, 1.2% then back to .10% was too much; the sound was just out of control with no economical way to track it with the technology in those days. If it were a traditional movie, they’d just re-shoot or replace the audio for the affected scene. Had this been a single concert, there wouldn’t have been an issue either. The mobile recording truck capturing sound for the album would have been able to resolve the audio to the speed of the film cameras, and weeks later they’d have a film. Even then, because the cameras were constantly starting and stopping every 12 minutes or more (for reloading, for smoke breaks, re-positioning, etc.), it was critical to use the fucked-up production sound as a guide-track.

Four cameras were used on the show. Each show ran for about 80 minutes. Four shows multiplied by four cameras multiplied by 80 minutes equates to a little more than 21 hours of picture and sound that needed to be sunk together but couldn’t due to their difference in speed. Not to mention the additional filming done backstage and at Bolic Studios the day after the final show. It’s like trying to walk a straight line after you drank the entire bar. The line ain’t moving but you are.

Having done a lot of editing for other “problem children” with similar issues, my first challenge was to try and sync all of the footage. This process took more than eight weeks and a lot of trial and error to complete, but once it was done, a glimmer of light at the end of a 40-year long tunnel could be finally be seen.

The next challenge was to cut the show. FZ was smart enough to shoot four different performances of essentially the same set over two days. Everybody wore the same clothes so ideally you could intercut one song from one night with the same song from another night. This is always a good idea in case there was a better performance, or even part of a better performance, leaving the editor different choices when cutting the show together. Unfortunately this practice doesn’t always work, unless the performers stand in the exact same spot, play their instruments the exact same way, and the star remembers to smoke the exact same way at the exact same time every show! Forget about the scene-sharing lounge lizard next to the stage who suddenly change from shot to shot. This made it very difficult to utilize the best angles from the best performance as often as I would have liked. However, this is the editor’s burden and that’s half of the fun, really.

Besides the incredible playing abilities of Zappa and the Mothers, there isn’t a lot of big theatrics going on: no spitting of fire, crowd surfing, parading down the runway during the guitar solos and the like. We also didn’t have 16 cameras, GoPros, and a jib arm flying around to provide massive amounts of coverage as we would today. For the most part we had three cameras. Two locked down and one hand held on the stage. Once in a while a fourth camera in the back chimed in with few, often out of focus, wide shots of the stage. The challenge was to bring excitement to the show using as many interesting shots from wherever they could be found. I tried to balance some accelerated editing with extended shots of the individual’s playing. There’s nothing more frustrating to me than a cut every 2 seconds just for the sake of making the show appear exciting. If Frank is soloing - stay on Frank. If George Duke is killing it - stay on George. Right? C’mon! I wasn’t in the audience so I want to see them play for Christ’s sake.

Growing up, I just didn’t get it. A diehard fan of The Who, The Kinks, The Jam, Led Zeppelin and the rest, Frank’s music was way, way off the radar. So working on such an important Zappa artifact was daunting for me at first because I really didn’t think I was worthy (but you wanna keep that shit on the down-low when you’re working so closely with the family of a legend).

Then I began to put the songs together one by one. First “Pygmy twylyte”, “Penguin in bondage” and then… “Echidna’s arf”. I was like: “Oh Jesus, this band rocks”. Then I’m cutting “Big Swifty” and the jaw began to gape. Yes, to stare with open mouth, as in wonder. This was followed by that uncontrollable smile and laughter you get as a kid when you see a magician make some shit disappear. Just the ridiculousness of Frank’s guitar work was off the spectrum. Every song was like a new discovery for my little Zappa-deprived mind. This went on for weeks as I began to assemble a full rough cut and one day I called a friend who loved Frank and said to him: “Uh yeah, I get it now”. Definitely mutated. Definitely feeling worthy.

I reveal this not to appear enlightened or whatever, but to convey the honor and joy (and I never use joy in my daily vernacular) I feel to be a part of a project that has taken so long to evolve. Like me, “Roxy - The Movie” has taken four decades to get its Zappa shit together.

I’m certain this is one of - if not the last - of the great rock shows to be unearthed and released to the legions of diehards and soon-to-be-diehards. So, in the words of the man himself: “Relax. Sip on your beverages and just cool it”.

1. “Something terrible has happened…”

[FZ] That’s a really good beat that you have there, ladies and gentlemen.

Just calm yourselves for a moment, because we’re making a movie here tonight, and we wanna make sure that the cameras will get the music in synchronization with the picture. And something terrible has happened…

Now, I don’t wanna keep you in suspense for too long, ladies and gentlemen, but we plan a really dynamite show ▶ for you. And we really don’t want to… we don’t want to fuck it up, ladies and gentlemen, so, just relax and… sip on your beverages and, any moment now, the curtain will go up and we’ll be zany for you, so just cool it!

This is a recording.

I know what we’ll do. We’ll pretend like we’re doing the show with the curtain still down, for the first part. We’ll just play some background music until they get the camera fix and then we’ll surprise you.

2. Cosmik debris

[FZ] OK

[Instrumental]

You know

The mystery man came over

An’ he said: “I’m outasite”

He said for a nominal service charge

I could reach Nervonna t’nite

If I was ready, willing an’ able ▶

Well…

To pay him his regular fee

He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs

And devote his attention to me

But I said:

“Look here, brother, who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?

Who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?

Look here, brother, don’t you waste your time on me”

Well, the mystery man got nervous

An’ he fidget around a bit

He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe

An’ he whipped out a shaving kit

Now, I thought it was a razor

An’ a can of foamin’ goo

But he told me right then when the top popped open

There was nothin’ his box won’t do

Well…

With the oil of Afro Dytee

An’ the dust of the Grand Wazoo ▶

He said: “You might not believe this, little fella, but it’ll cure your asthma too!”

An’ I said: “Oh, really?

Look here, brother (Look here, brother!), who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?

Now, what kind of a geroo are you anyway?

Look here, brother (Peek-a-boo!), don’t you waste your time on me”

Napoleon!

[Instrumental]

“I’ve got troubles of my own” I said

“An’ you can’t help me out

So take your meditations an’ your preparations

An’ ram it up your snout”

“BUT I’VE GOT A KRISTL BOLE!”

He said, an’ he held it on up to the light

So I snatched it all away from him

An’ I showed him how to do it right

I wrapped a newspaper ‘round my head

So I’d look like I was Deep

I said some mumbo jumbos then

An’ I told him he was goin’ to sleep

I robbed his rings an’ pocket watch

An’ everything else I found

I had that sucker hypnotized

He couldn’t even make a sound

I proceeded to tell him his future then

As long as he was hanging around

I said: “The price of meat has just gone up

An’ yer ol’ lady has just went down…”

Look here, brother (Look here, brother!), who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?

(Now, is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho? ▶)

Don’t you know? You could make more money as a butcher

So don’t you waste your time on me

Thank you!

3. Penguin in bondage

[FZ] We’re making a movie. There’s a camera up there, there’s a camera up there, there’s a camera right here, there’s a camera back there, there’s lights all over this place yet all make believe. That’s right, there’s no film in the cameras. We’re just pretending. See? So you just relax, and if the lights happen to go on… on you just pretend there’s no film in the camera because we may have you do something amusing later.

Alright… (BURP - Pardon me, folks). The name of this song is “Penguin in bondage” an’ it’s a song that uh… deals with… the possible variations on a basic theme which is… well, you understand what the basic theme is. And then the variations include uh… maneuvers that might be executed with the aid of uh… extraterrestrial gratification ▶ and devices which might or might not be supplied in a local department store or perhaps a drugstore but at very least in one of those fancy new shops that they advertise in the back-pages of the free press. This song suggests to the suggestible listener that the ordinary procedure uh… that I’m circumlocuting at this present time in order to get this text on television, is that uh… if you wanna do something other than what you thought you were gonna do when you first took your clothes off and you just happened to have some DEVICES around… then it’s… it’s not only OK to get into the PARAPHERNALIA of it all but…

Hey! What did he say? Ready?

I have them. I bet you do too, don’t you?

She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy

Oh yeah oh yeah oh

Way over on the wet side of the bed

Just like the mighty penguin

Flappin’ her eight ounce wings

Lord, you know it’s all over

If she come atcha on the strut & wrap ‘em all around yer head

Flappin’ her eight ounce wings, flappinumm

She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy

Shake up the pale-dry ginger ale

Tremblin’ like a penguin when the battery fail

(You know when the battery fails in the vibrator?)

Lord, you must be havin’ her jumpin’ through a hoopa real fire ▶

With some Kleenex wrapped around a coat-hang wire

[Instrumental]

She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy

Oh yeah oh yeah oh

Howlin’ over to some antarcticulated moon

In the frostbite nite with her flaps gone white

Shriekin’ as she spot the hoop across the room

(Right through the hoop, without even feeling any pain)

You know it must be a penguin bound down

If you hear that terrible screamin’ and there ain’t no other birds around

She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy

Oh yeah oh yeah oh

She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy

Oh yeah oh yeah oh

Aw, you must be careful not to leave her straps too loose

‘Cause she just might box yer dog

An’ leave you a dried-up dog biscuit…

4. T’Mershi Duween

[Instrumental]

5. Dog / Meat (The dog breath variations + Uncle Meat)

[Instrumental]

6. RDNZL

[Instrumental]

[FZ] Thank you

7. Echidna’s arf (of you)

[Napoleon Murphy Brock] Oh… village…

[Instrumental]

8. Don’t you ever wash that thing?

[Instrumental]

[FZ] Ladies and gentlemen

Watch Ruth!

All during our program

Ruth has been thinking:

“What can I do that’ll be fantastic?”

Something nice for the camera, I hope, Ruth, show ‘em a little something

[Instrumental]

9. Cheepnis - Percussion

[Instrumental]

[FZ] Ruth Underwood, Ralph Humphrey, Chester Thompson.

Thank you.

Alright, now, have a surprise for you. You’ve all been fooled.

Now, that little thing there is nothing more and nothing less than the rhythm track of the next song that we’re gonna play, which is a song about monster movies and it’s called “A little more cheepnis, please”.

Here’s what it sounds with everything else stuck to it, you already heard the drum part.

Quick, mop ‘em off.

Can they play it right a second time?

[Ruth Underwood] A-ha

[?] Hey. Just play the […]

[FZ] Yeah, no, we’ll just overdub it later. Ready?

[Ruth Underwood] Oh, wait. No, I’m not.

10. Cheepnis

[FZ] “Cheepnis”. Let me tell you something, do you like monster movies? Anybody? I LOVE monster movies, I simply adore monster movies, and the cheaper they are, the better they are. And cheapness in the case of a monster movie has nothing to do with the budget of the film, although it helps, but true cheapness is exemplified by visible nylon strings attached to the jaw of a giant spider. I’ll tell you, a good one that I saw one time, I think the name of the film was “IT CONQUERED THE WORLD” and the… (Did you ever see that one?) the monster looks sort of like an inverted ice-cream cone with teeth around the bottom. It looks like a (phew!) like a teepee or sort of a rounded off pup tent affair, and it’s got fangs on the base of it, I don’t know why but it’s a very threatening sight, and then he’s got a frown and, you know, ugly mouth and everything.

Movie snapshot from “It conquered the world”

And there’s this one scene where the monster is coming out of a cave, see? There’s always a scene where they come out of a cave, at least once, and the rest of the cast… It musta been made around the 1950’s, the lapels are about like that wide, the ties are about that wide and about this short, and they always have a little revolver that they’re gonna shoot the monster with, and there is always a girl who falls down and twists her ankle, heh-hey! Of course there is! You know how they are, the weaker sex and everything, twisting their ankle on behalf of the little ice-cream cone. Well, in this particular scene, in this scene, folks, they uh… they didn’t wanna re-take it ‘cause it musta been so good they wanted to keep it, but they… when the monster came out of the cave, just over on the left hand side of the screen you can see about this much two-by-four attached to the bottom of the thing as the guy is pushing it out, and then, obviously off-camera, somebody’s goin’: “NO! GET IT BACK!” And they drag it back just a little bit as the guy is goin’: “KCH! KCH!” Now, that’s cheapness. Awright. And this is “Cheepnis” here.

One, two, three, four

[Napoleon Murphy Brock] I ate a hot dog, it tasted real good

Then I watched a movie from Hollywood

I ate a hot dog, it tasted real good

Then I watched a movie from Hollywood

Little Miss Muffet on a squat by me, yeah

I took a turn around, I said: “Can y’all see now?

The little strings on the giant spider?

The Zipper from the Black Lagoon?

HA HA HA!

The vents by the tanks where the bubbles go up

(And the flaps on the side of the moon!)

The jelly & paint on the 40 watt bulb

They use when The Slime droozle off

The rumples & the wrinkles in the cardboard rock, yeah

And the canvas of the cave is too soft

The suits & the hats & the ties too wide

And too short for the scientist-man

The chemistry lady with the roll-away mind, yeah

While the monster just ate Japan!”

[FZ] Ladies and gentlemen, the monster, which the peasants in this area call “Frunobulax”, has just been seen approaching the power plant! Bullets can’t stop it. Rockets can’t stop it. We may have to use NUCLEAR FORCE!

WAH! Run! C’mon! Get up quickly! Back to the […] Everybody c’mon!

Might be your last chance! Go to the shelter you want now!

GO TO DA SHELTER! (“MY BABY, MY BABY!”)

GO TO DA SHELTER

GO TO DA SHELTER! (“MY BABY, MY BABY!”)

GO TO DA SHELTER

[Napoleon Murphy Brock] Little Miss Muffet on a squat by me

Can ya see the little strings danglin’ down?

Makes the legs go wobble an’ the mouth flop shut

An’ the horrible eye

Go rollin’ around!

Can y’see it at all? Can y’see it from here?

Can y’laugh till you’re weak on yer knees?

If you can’t, I’m sorry, ‘cause that’s all I wanna know, yeah!