(Front)

Beat the boots III - Disc 2

 

  1 Heavy duty Judy
  2 Pick me, I’m clean
  3 Teen-age wind [Instrumental]
  4 Harder than your husband [Instrumental]
  5 Bamboozled by love
  6 Falling in love is a stupid habit
  7 This is my story [Gene Forrest, Eunice Levy]
  8 Whipping post [Gregg Allman]
  9 Clowns on velvet
10 In France
11 Broken hearts are for assholes
12 I am the walrus [John Lennon, Paul McCartney]
13 America the beautiful [Samuel A. Ward, Katharine Lee Bates]
14 America drinks & goes home
15 Studebacher Hoch (From “Billy the mountain”)
16 Don’t fuck around (From “Billy the mountain”)
17 Two on the town
18 Truck driver divorce

 

All compositions by Frank Zappa, except as noted above.


1. Heavy duty Judy


[FZ] Ladies and gentlemen, this is a uh… a great opportunity for me to try something new here. We got this song we worked on this afternoon an’… an’ I thought we might try and do it, you know, it’s not perfect yet but let’s see what happens. Name of this song is “Heavy duty Judy”.
One, two, three
 
Heavy duty Judy
Heavy duty Judy
Heavy duty Judy
[Repeat]
 
[Instrumental]
 
Heavy duty Judy
Heavy duty Judy
Heavy duty Judy
Heavy duty Judy
[Repeat]

2. Pick me, I’m clean


[…]
 
“Why not come over?
You’ll meet my mother
You’ll meet my sister
You’ll like my brother
Really you will…”
 
“I’m learning English
I can say: ‘Thank you
I think I like you
Do you like my band-aid?
I hope you do…”
 
“I am not busy

I’m free to travel
Where are you going?
Maybe you’ll take me
I hope you do…”
 
“I am not busy
He used to like me
I speak good English
I’m bathing with Peter
Pick me, I’m clean…”
 
Vinnie goes bare-back
Peter goes wet-back
Denny goes way back
Eddie should get back
Pick me, I’m clean…
 
Oh yeah, pick me, I’m clean
Oh yeah
Check out my band-aid
Oh yeah, pick me, I’m clean
Oh yeah
Check out my band-aid
Oh yeah, pick me, I’m clean
Oh yeah
Check out my band-aid
Oh yeah, pick me, I’m clean
Oh yeah
 
[Instrumental]
 
“Why not come over?
You’ll meet my mother
You’ll meet my sister
You’ll like my brother
Really you will…”
 
“I’m learning English
I can say: ‘Thank you
I think I like you
Do you like my band-aid?
I hope you do…”
 
“I am not busy
I’m free to travel
Where are you going?
Maybe you’ll take me
I hope you do…”
 
“Do you know Vinnie?
He used to like me
I speak good English
I’m bathing with Peter
Pick me, I’m clean…”

3. Teen-age wind [Instrumental]


[Instrumental]

4. Harder than your husband [Instrumental]


[Instrumental]

5. Bamboozled by love


Don’t you know, I treat her nice and kind
The way no other lover can
I came home the other day and she was
Suckin’ off some other man
 
I ain’t the type for beggin’
I ain’t the type to plead
If she don’t change those evil ways
I’m gonna make her bleed
She can scream and she can holler
Bang her head all along the wall
If she don’t give me what I want
She gonna have no head at all
 
Bamboozled by love
I know she fooled around too long
Bamboozled by love
I said she fooled around too long
I am mad and gettin’ meaner
I am here and she is gone
And the reason you have not seen her
She is underneath the lawn
She’s underneath the lawn, lawn, lawn
 
[Instrumental]
 
[FZ] I’ve no idea what the name of the program is, but you’re watching it.

6. Falling in love is a stupid habit


[Jimmy Carl Black] You ought to do it, man, because you know exactly how it goes
 
[FZ] Now I see I’ve should’ve run like a rabbit
Love comes along and I reach out and grab it
Doggonit, dagnabbit
Falling in love is a stupid habit
Falling in love, in love, in love
 
One, two, three, four
 
Maybe this doesn’t happen to you
You could be a superman
But if I see somebody new
I reach out and grab her hand
 
I reach out and grab a lot
‘Cause I like what she has got
She don’t need what I propose
So I gets it up the nose
 
Two, three, four
 
Doggonit, dagnabbit
Falling in love is a stupid habit
Doggonit, dagnabbit
Falling in love is a stupid habit
Falling in love, in love, in love
 
One, two, three, four
 
You could be the lucky type
You could have a fancy car

All the girls know what they like
And if you’ve got it you’ll go far
 
But I speak out and say: “Hello!”
The girls all tell me where to go
People, this goes on and on
What the heck have I done wrong?
 
Two, three, four
 
Doggonit, dagnabbit
Falling in love is a stupid habit
Doggonit, dagnabbit
Falling in love is a stupid habit
Et cetera
 
This is cheap, this is really cheap, watch it

7. This is my story


[FZ] … of this song is “This is my story”. And we go… gonna go from “This is my story” into the aftermath, you understand what I mean? OK, lemme hear the chord, please. Right, this is in key of C, Tommy. The chord again. Alright.
 
This is my story, I have no song
Just alone and broken hearted
Just because I fell in love
In love with you
 
I pray that you come back to me
Just to hear you say you love me
And we’ll never, never part
Part from you
 
We will never, never…

8. Whipping post


[Bobby Martin] I been run down
Lord, an’ I been lied to
And I don’t know why
I let that mean woman make me out a fool
 
She took all my money
An’ wrecked my new car
Now she’s with one of my good-time buddies
An’ she drink in some cross-town bar
 
Sometime I feel…
Sometime I feel…
Like I been tied to the whippin’ post
Tied to the whippin’ post
Tied to the whippin’ post
Good Lord, I feel like a rasta man
 
My friends tell me
That I been such a fool
I have to stand back an’ take it, babe
All for loving you
 
I drown myself in sorrow
As I look at what you done
But nothin’ seem to change
That bad times stay the same and I can’t run
 
Sometime I feel…
Sometime I feel…
Like I been tied to the whippin’ post
Tied to the whippin’ post
Tied to the whippin’ post
Good Lord, I think I look like a spliff man
 
[Instrumental]
 
Lord
Oh no
 
Lord
Oh no
 
Sometimes I feel…
Sometime I feel…
Like I been tied to the whippin’ post
Tied to the whippin’ post
Tied to the whippin’ post
LAWD EY-EY-EY-EY!
Oh Lord
Sometime, you know, I believe if I don’t get my […]
But I don’t do that kind of stuff so just I lay down and die

9. Clowns on velvet


[Instrumental]

10. In France


[FZ] Ah, George, this is in the key of B. OK, ha ha ha. Alright.
 
[…]
Listen!
Playin’ in a tent
Down, down, down in
Payin’ the rent
Down, down, down in
If you pooch a civilian
Down, down, down in
It’s a major event
Down, down, down in
 
Down in France
Did you hear me? That’s where that’s located
Way down in France
[…]
Way on down
And then I heard a noise
Way on down
Uh, down in France
Listen!
 
Listen
Girls are all salty
Sal-sal-salty
An’ the boys are all sweet
Sal-sal-salty
Ah, they don’t cook too shabby
Sal-sal-salty
An’ they piss in the street
Sal-sal-salty
 
Down in France
Listen to me!
Way down in France
Look, I saw […], it wou it would…
Way on down
[…]
Way on down
It was down in France
 
[…]
Co-co-coffee
They got a disease
That will turn your peter green
 
Down in France
Way down in France
Listen!
I saw the color, I saw…
Way on down
And then it turned
Way on down
Was down in France
Lemme tell you some ‘bout the coffee, look, look, look
 
They got some coffee
Co-co-coffee
Just eatin’ right through the cup
Co-co-coffee
Every time you say “ka-ka”
Co-co-coffee
They make you stand up
Co-co-coffee
 
Down in France
Way down in France
Listen, I ka-ka… I ka-ka one time… I ka-ka one time with the…
Way on down
And then I ka-ka with the…
Way on down
Was down in France
 
Now… Now look, look
If you’re not too careful
Care-care-careful
It’ll stick to your cheeks
Care-care-careful
An’ you’ll smell like a native
Care-care-careful
For a couple of weeks
Care-care-careful
 
Down in France
Way down in France
[…]
Way on down
[…]
Way on down
An’ lemme play something
Down in France
 
[Instrumental]
 
Listen!
We cannot wait
Till we get back
We just love the way

That the poodle “react”
 
Down in France
Listen to me!
Way down in France
[…]
Way on down
[…]
Way on down
Listen!
Never try to get yo’ peter sucked in France
[…]

11. Broken hearts are for assholes


Hey! Do you know what you are?
You’re an asshole!
[…]
Asshole!
 
Some of you might not agree
‘Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see…
 
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, ‘cause you’re an asshole…
 
No, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, I said, you are an asshole!
 
Maybe you think you’re a lonely guy
An’ maybe you think you’re too tough to cry
So you went to the Grape just to give it a try
 
And Dagmar
Was his name…
 
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his pancake make-up
Nearly drove you insane
And so you kissed a little sailor
Who had just blew in from Spain
[…]
 
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
And acted like it was cocaine
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
In a way you can’t explain
[…]
 
And so you worked the wall with Michael
Take it away, Bobby
Which gave your back an awful strain
But you came back on Sunday for the Gong Show
[…]
But you forgot what I was sayin’…
 
‘Cause you’re an asshole, you’re an asshole
You’re right!
You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole
That’s true!
You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole
That’s right!
You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole
Oh, shit!
 
[FZ] Stop! Stop. That was very WRONG to do! We like a nice clean stage. Bring that man back and make him wipe the shit out. Bring him back. That a security guy to hold him by the ankles and […] to this shit.
 
Alright, now at last the attention that you so JUSTLY deserved, step right up, introduce yourself and prepare to dyin’ as you never dyin’ before. What’s your name?
[Guy] My name is […]
[FZ] Great, now start eatin’ it. You don’t have to eat the napkin, no, no, just lick it out. No problem, we can wait.
[Guy] He told me it was OK if I rotten up in a […]
[FZ] Yeah, get your face in it, buddy.
All the way down, no problem. No, wait. No, no, no, no violence, I don’t wanna hurt this man, this is… this is real food.
Now, thank you, please don’t anyone throw anything else on the stage. Can we have the enormous napkin, please? Rub by? The napkin.
 
Stand by for the last verse of “Broken hearts are for assholes”.
 
Well, you been to the Grape, you been to the Chest
An’ now I think you know what you are: you’re an asshole
A WHAT?
An asshole!
 
You say you can’t live with what you’ve been through
Ladies, you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain’t got one on the bottom of you
(Thank you!)
 
Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s lookin’ at you
Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s winkin’ at you
Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s blinkin’ at you
That’s why I say…
 
I’m gonna ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up yer poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up yer poop chute
Fist fuck
Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up yer poop chute
Wrist-watch; Crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it, ram it up yer poop chute
Pud!
 
Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s goin’ right up yer poop chute
Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s goin’ right up yer poop chute
Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s goin’ right up yer poop chute
Ay ay ay ay
Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s goin’ right up yer poop chute
Ay ay ay ay
Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s goin’ right up yer poooop chute
Ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay
Don’t fool yerself, girl
It’s goin’ right up yer…
 
Aw aw, I knew you’d be surprised…

12. I am the walrus


I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly
I’m crying
 
Sitting on a cornflake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man, you’ve been a naughty boy
You let your face grow long
 
I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g’ joob
 
Mr. city policeman sitting, pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run
I’m crying
 
I’m crying, I’m crying
 
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog’s eye
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
Boy, you’ve been a naughty girl
You let your knickers down
SAY!
 
I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g’ joob
 
Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun
An’ if the sun don’t come, you get a tan from standing in the English rain
 
I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g’ joob goo goo g’ joob
 
Expert text pert choking smokers, don’t you think the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide
I’m crying
 
Semolina pilchard
Climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them
Kicking Edgar Allan Poe
 
‘Cause I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g’ joob goo goo g’ joob
Goo goo g’ joob goo goo g’ joob

13. America the beautiful


Oh beautiful for spacious skies
For amber waves of grain
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
 
America! America!
The only place to be
And crown thy good with brotherhood
The sea to shining sea
 
Shining sea
Shining sea
Shining sea
Shining sea
Shining sea
Shining sea
[…]
 
[Instrumental]
 
Sea to shining sea, yeah
Sea to shining sea, oh yeah
Sea to shining sea
Sea to shining sea, yeah
Sea to shining… sea
 
Good night!

14. America drinks & goes home


[…]
 
[FZ] A long time ago, when we worked here, back in the olden days, we got fired from those clubs for… for playing this song.

15. Studebacher Hoch (From “Billy the mountain”)


[Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan] STUDEBACHER HOCH
YEAH YEAH
STUDEBACHER HOCH
STU-DE-BACHER HOCH!
 
STUDEBACHER HOCH
YEAH YEAH
STUDEBACHER HOCH
STU-DE-BACHER HOCH!
 
He’s coating his legs with Aunt Jemima syrup up and down
His shorts’ll be filled with flies that will be buzzing all around
Stoodlabaker Hoch, he’s really outta sight!
Stoodlabaker Hoch, he does it every night!
Stoodlabaker Hoch, he treats the flies all right!
Stoodlabaker Hoch, that’s why they never bite, hey!
 
Please to New York!
I beg you, help me get there!
Fly to New York!
He could be a dog or a frog or a lesbian queen
Fly to New York!
Master Blaster!
He could be a narc or a lady Marine
Or he might play dirty
He’s over thirty
Getting old? I don’t know!
 
His peculiar attire and the flies he require keep leading him on
‘Cause Ethel is gone
And the mountain she’s on
 
[Instrumental]
 
Fly to New York!
Fly to New York!
 
[Instrumental]
 
Fly to New York!
 
I don’t KNOW!
 
His peculiar attire and the flies he require keep leading him on
‘Cause Ethel is gone
They keep leading him on
‘Cause Ethel is gone
And the mountain she’s on
 
[FZ] We’ll join Studebacher Hoch on the edge of Billy the mountain’s mouth!

16. Don’t fuck around (From “Billy the mountain”)


[Mothers] A mountain is something
You don’t wanna fuck with
You don’t wanna fuck with
Don’t fuck around
Don’t fuck around
 
Don’t fuck with Billy
Don’t fuck with Ethel
You saw what just happened to the guy with the flies
 
DON’T FUCK AROUND!
DON’T FUCK AROUND!
DON’T FUCK AROUND!
DON’T FUCK AROUND!
DON’T FUCK AROUND!
DON’T FUCK AROUND!
DON’T FUCK AROUND!
With Biddilly, Biddilly, Biddilly, Biddilly, Biddilly
 
[Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan] BIDDILLY THE MOUNTIN-INNNNNNN!
[FZ] That’s right, you heard right: Biddilly the Mountin-in!
[Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan] BIDDILLY THE MOUNTIN-INNNNNNN!
[Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan] Aya-aya-aya
[FZ] Aya-aya-aya
[Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan] Aya-aya-aya aya-aya-aya

17. Two on the town


[FZ] One, two, three, four
Even melody, two on the town, they go to Hong Kong, it’s more […] there
So that’s actually… This is actually pretty disgusting
And the whole idea of two people born on the town in this place, well, that’s crazy

18. Truck driver divorce


[FZ] Truck driver divorce
It’s very sad
(Steel guitars usually weep all over it)
 
The bold & intelligent masters of the road with their Secret Language
And their giant
Oversized
Transcontinental

Mechanical hobby-horse!
 
Truck driver divorce
It’s very sad

Oh, the wife!
Oh, the kids!
Oh, the waitress!
Oh, the drive all night!
 
Sometimes when you get home
Some ugly lookin’ son-of-a-bitch is tryin’ to pooch yer home-town sweetheart
 

Oh, go ride the bull
Oh, go ride the bull
Make it go up an’ down
An’ when you fall off you can eat the mattress
 
Truck driver divorce
IS VERY SAD
Bust yer ass
To deliver some string beans
Deliver some string beans

Deliver some string beans to Utah!