| Album notes by Gail Zappa
|
| Oh snap! Another Live Show! Philadelphia, 29 October 1976. Live at the Spectrum.
|
| Joe says he was not looking for this - it was looking for him, staring him down from its lurkage on the special shelf of personally selected-by-FZ masters. This is the only 16 track extant of this line-up. Yes, he set them aside but sleuthing just confirms that whenever he had a bunch of tracks (4, 8, 16, 24, etc.) to play with out on the road FZ took full advantage of these options. Ultimately, his favorite way to make a record was to document (record) the live performances and bring them home to mix. FZ transferred (in the Bob Stone-age) the original Record Plant Mobile 2” 16-track analog 30 ips recordings to Sony PCM 3324 Digital on April Fool’s, 1987. Joe cloned the multi-track transfer onto a hard drive for Frank Filipetti to mix a year ago and this is being written on the 33rd anniversary of the actual (eve of Halloween) concert.
|
| More about anniversarial convergences: 1976 was the year that commemorated 200 years of America - the signing of the Declaration of Independence on 4 July 1776 in Philadelphia (where W.C. Fields preferred not to be dead) when it was the Capital of these United States. Some might enjoy reading this document while paying special attention to certain grievances ▶ expressed (and emphasized) therein. Some, now reintroduced and costumed up as Democracy! Trick or Treat! Laugh now ▶. Moving right along past the allsorts of the disappeared: certain rights, inalienable and animal, beasties and creatures, long and short forestries, and even the very Spectrum itself, right after the last concert at Halloween…
|
| In our efforts here at UMRK to provide you with the finest optional audio entertainment (in the universe) we deploy the inimitably-skilled tape trapper and trenchant trudger of the archivory coastal tundra ▶, Joe Travers, to venture forth (where few are chosen but many have called) into the FZ sequin mines, dismote the ages and identify suitable nuggets for your aural excitation.
|
| In artifactuality, a nugget sports its significance by virtue of being an unreleased composition or live recording from ages past of titles rarely performed onstage, a special performance or arrangement, a thrilling example from a less-documented line-up, a highly nutritional trim and/or out, a different edit or mix - a special project, rehearsal, home-recording or even, a spoken gem such as an interview excerpt, a “build reel” or other “as-is” (unadulterated by FZ) item, exquisite in quality, uniqueness or hotness anywhereanytimeanyplace (aka AAA - see also AAAFNRAA: anything anytime anywhere for no reason at all), from the depth and breadth of FZ’s career in lifeasweknowit (lawki).
|
| Praise the l.o.r.d. (also a defined term: living on reproducible data)!
|
| Album notes by Bianca Thornton - August 8, 2009
|
| In 1976 I got a call from the management of Frank Zappa. “What? Who is that?” I said to my boyfriend “And why does he want me?” My boyfriend said: “You don’t know who Frank Zappa is? Well, just go down there, and you will see who he is”.
|
| OK, I was very impressed with Mr. Zappa’s organization. Wow! He got me transportation to and from the rehearsal and a beautiful hotel room at the Chateau Marmont. When I got there (to rehearsal) Zappa said: “Do you play keyboards?”
|
| “Yes” I said very softly “What do you want me to play?”
|
| “Just play with the band and learn these lyrics”
|
| I didn’t know anything about this kind of music. I was two steps past the conservative community - the Holy Rollers (especially my parents). I decided I would sing with all my might and play piano so he would hire me. Yep. And he did, and that was beginning of my apprenticeship with a genius.
|
| It was better not to try to figure his music out - just do the part he wanted in that spot. But my singing was my instrument and I was gonna use it to the best of my ability. At first I had trouble with the lyrics - like “Chrissy puked twice” ▲ and “The torture never stops” ▲ - because I was not used to those kind of lyrics (coming from a Gospel / Sly Stone feel) but after I got used to them, the music fit my style to a T.
|
| I was very shy about singing to so many people and I was a little afraid as well as excited to be part of this fantastic band. Wow! Patrick O’Hearn, with his massive red hair, could play his butt off! And of course Terry Bozzio was powerful and strong. I wondered how he could hang for two full hours of hard work. I was working with Ray White before Frank asked me if I knew a good guitar player and he fit Frank’s snap just fine. It was an amazing band and I will never forget the experience.
|
| I loved the fact that we stayed in the best hotels in New York and even in Tennessee (Phones in the bathroom? Unheard of). Frank’s office and production crew took good care of us. Smothers’ (Frank’s bodyguard) quiet shoulder was there for me to lean on. He kept me laughing when I would get uneasy.
|
| I remember being scared of flying on a little putt putt airplane that flew over mountains into the northern part of New York. Frank said to me: “Well… what are you afraid of? Here. Remember these lyrics? You haven’t got them down just yet”. By that time we had landed and every thing was fine. Whew! So much traveling and so many sound checks - and so many beautiful one-time-thing performances - I scarcely had time to actually think or look back on them. I am glad that he taped our shows because now you will hear some amazing performances.
|
| I didn’t realize how much this experience would stay with me when I began forming my own band and styling my own career. It gave me strength and tools to handle this music business through the years. Well, I think I got spoiled and immediately missed the limousines and the food in the dressing rooms and the announcement of Frank Zappa and his Mothers of Invention and roar of the crowd. I hope you will enjoy this beautiful one-time performance of true creativity.
|
| [FZ] In the dark, where all the fevers grow, yeah
|
| Under the water, where the shark bubbles blow
|
| In the mornin’, by yer radio
|
| Do the walls close in t’suffocate ya?
|
| You ain’t got no friends… an’ all the others: they hate ya
|
| Does the life you been livin’ gotta go, hmmm?
|
|
|
| Well, lemme straighten you out about a place I know…
|
| (Now get yer shoes an’ socks on, people, because it’s right aroun’ the corner)
|
|
|
| You go out through the night an’ the whispering breezes
|
| To the place where they keep the imaginary diseases
|
| Out through the night an’ the whispering breezes
|
| To the place where they keep the imaginary diseases
|
|
|
| Now, scientists call this disease… bromhidrosis
|
| And, well, they should
|
| But us regular folks, who might wear a tennis shoe or an occasional python boot ▶, know this exquisite little inconvenience by the name of… STINK FOOT
|
|
|
| Y’know, my python boot is too tight
|
| I couldn’t get it off last night
|
| A week went by, an’ now it’s July
|
| I finally got that sucker off an’ my girlfriend cry:
|
| “You got STINK FOOT!
|
| Stink foot, darlin’
|
| Your stinking foot puts the hurts on my nose!
|
| Stink foot! Stink foot! I ain’t lyin’
|
| Can you rinse it off, d’you suppose?”
|
|
|
| Well, here Fido! Here Fido! ▶
|
| Bring the slippers, little puppy
|
| Fido!
|
|
|
| Awright, awright, AWRIGHT, hey!
|
| Fido, my faithful friend of the canine world
|
| I asked you to bring me the slippers
|
| You didn’t bring the slippers
|
| Every night is the same problem
|
| Why do you not bring me the slippers?
|
| “Arf-arf arf-arf-arf-arf arf-arf-arf arf-arf arf-arf-arf-arf arf arf-arf-arf-arf”
|
| Literally translated this means: “Oh, Frank, I was so stoned I couldn’t keep them in my mouth”
|
| And once again I have to inform you, Fido, my charming little canine friend that you must be punished, so take your punishment, here it comes…
|
| Position one
|
| Position two
|
| Position three
|
| And there we have it, a thoroughly punished poodle, live on stage in Philadelphia, goddamn!
|
| IT’S SICK!
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
| [FZ] In the beginning GOD made the light. Shortly thereafter GOD made three big mistakes. The first one was the poodle. As indicated in Exhibit A. (Oh, just a little feedback, don’t let it worry ya). Now, when GOD first constructed the poodle it was an attractive dog. It had hair evenly distributed all over its small piquant charming canine-type body. All the other dogs liked it because it was a regular fella. It had a ha— It had a ha— It had a… It had a haircut just like them, and so it was right in with the other trends that were going on in those days.
|
| Then, God made these other two big mistakes. Mistake number two was MAN. Mistake number three was WO-MAN. OK. WO-MAN looked at the poodle with lust in her heart. And she came up with a plan that was about to reshape civilization itself. She looked at the man and knew the man to be a dumbbell, a chump from the word ‘go’, which was one of the first words that we had in the old days. So she turned to the man and she said: “Hey, why don’t you go get a job?” And because the man was, shall we say, tepid in the mind, he got up off his booty and went out of the Garden of Eden, got himself a job, pushing a broom for about a dollar, 2.98 an hour, brought the money back to the woman, she took the money, went to the hardware store, bought a pair of scissors and a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers!
|
| Then she got a hold of the dog and she clipped on the dog. She modified the coat of the dog. She cleaned off on his back here to make it real nice because she wanted the dog to have a disco look. Then she cleaned off his thorax… (BURP - pardon me), his medulla, his Managua, and all around here, all around Allentown, she cleaned up, really good. Then, as a matter of fact, right over here, if you’ll notice, this is the Sheraton in Allentown, Pennsylvania, where they have that glass of orange juice as big as your finger for 75 cents ▶. And then she clipped the uh… she clipped the fur off of the snout so that you could see the succulent little black poodle lips, you know what I’m talking about. A lot of you kids out there who might have the kind of a mother with blue hair who likes to go to Miami with one of these things really knows what I’m talking about. Then she took the poodle and she put it over on the side and made it sit up with his little snout in the air. And she walked over and sat on his face.
|
|
|
| Purely for demonstration purposes, folks, don’t take it seriously. And then - and I don’t know how she managed to do this - while she was down there squatting on the poodle snout she looked deep into the dog’s eyes and said these words…
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Give me
|
| Your dirty love
|
| Like you might surrender to some dragon in your dreams
|
|
|
| Give me
|
| Your dirty love
|
| Like you might surrender to the dragon in your dreams
|
|
|
| I don’t want your cheap emotion
|
| I don’t want your sweet devotion
|
| Whip me up a little dragon lotion
|
| For your dirty love
|
|
|
| Give me
|
| Your dirty love
|
| Like some tacky little pamphlet in your daddy’s bottom drawer
|
|
|
| Give me
|
| Your dirty love
|
| I don’t believe you never seen that book before
|
|
|
| I don’t want no hesitation
|
| I don’t want no reservation
|
| I just got one destination
|
| That’s your dirty love
|
| Dirty
|
| Dirty love
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| Give me
|
| Your dirty love
|
| Just like your mama make her fuzzy poodle do
|
|
|
| Give me
|
| Your dirty love
|
| Just like your mama make her fuzzy poodle do
|
|
|
| I don’t want your cheap aroma
|
| Or your little-bo-peep diploma
|
| I just gonna put you in a coma
|
| With some dirty love
|
| Some dirty love
|
| That dirty love
|
| That dirty love
|
|
|
| THAT POODLE BITES! ▶
|
| THE POODLE CHEWS IT!
|
| [Repeat]
|
|
|
| [FZ] Now that we have everything worked up to a mild roar, we have to present to you a new song. This is… This particular song deals with the delicate subject of higher education. This particular song is also cut one, side one of our new album, “Zoot Allures”, which is being delivered to you in time for Halloween. And it goes like this…
|
| [FZ & Ray White] This here song might offend you some
|
| If it does, it’s because you’re dumb
|
| That’s the way it is where I come from
|
| If you’ve been there too, let me see your thumb
|
|
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Let me see your thumb
|
| [FZ & Ray White] Let me see your thumb
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Oh, let me see your thumb
|
| [FZ & Ray White] Let me see your thumb
|
| [Repeat]
|
|
|
| [Bianca Thornton & Ray White] Show me your thumb if you’re really dumb
|
| Show me your thumb if you’re really dumb
|
| Show me your thumb if you’re really dumb
|
| Show me your thumb if you’re DUMB
|
| [FZ] Yes, show me your thumb if you’re dumb!
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Hey, now better make a decision
|
| You better make a decision
|
| Be a moron and keep your position
|
| You better keep your position
|
| You oughta know now all your education
|
| Know all your education
|
| Won’t help you no-how, you’re gonna…
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White] Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
|
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Pumpin’ the gas every night
|
| Pumpin’ the gas every night
|
| [FZ & Ray White] Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
|
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Pumpin’ the gas every night
|
| Pumpin’ the gas every night, oh!
|
| [FZ & Ray White] Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
|
|
| [FZ & Bianca Thornton] Manny de Camper wants to buy some white
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas sta—. FISH!
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Manny de Camper wants to buy some white
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas sta—. FISH!
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Manny de Camper wants to buy some white
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas sta—. FISH!
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Manny de Camper wants to buy some white
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas sta—. FISH!
|
|
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| Wind up workin’ in a gas station
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Yes!
|
| I’m only fourteen, sickly an’ thin
|
| Tried all of my life just to grow me a chin
|
| It popped out once but my dad pushed it in
|
| (Can you dig it?)
|
| Tell me, why did he hurt me?
|
| Lord, he’s my next of kin…
|
| He’s a mex-i-kin
|
|
|
| I’m lonely an’ green, too small for my shirt
|
| Yes, and if Simmons was here I could feature my hurt
|
| I’m scared of the future an’ I hope I don’t grow
|
| Nobody likes me
|
| ‘Cause everywhere that I go
|
| They say no
|
| They say no!
|
| They say NO!
|
|
|
| Now I am older, got a place in the town, babe
|
| Yeah, I got a chin on my shoulder an’ it keeps growing down an’ down an’ down
|
| I’m horny an’ lonely, an’ I wish I was dead
|
| Somebody tell me why am I livin’?
|
| Lord, I wanna be dead instead
|
| That’s right, I said
|
| I wanna be dead instead
|
| OK, now dig this:
|
|
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| In bed
|
| Please kill me
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| Yeah!
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| In bed
|
| Please kill me
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| Lord, I wanna be dead instead
|
| In bed
|
| Please kill me
|
| Be dead in bed, yeah
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| As sure as my name is Terry Ted, Terry Ted
|
| In bed
|
| Please kill me
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| Kill me
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| Thrill me
|
| In bed
|
| Baby, you got to fill me with some love
|
| Please kill me
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| Only fourteen
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| Sickly an’ green
|
| In bed
|
| Please kill me
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
|
|
| One more time for the world! ▶
|
|
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| Wah-hoo!
|
| In bed
|
| I wanna be dead instead
|
| Please kill me
|
| Wanna be dead in bed
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| Gonna wish my little girl
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| Would give me some head, hey hey hey hey
|
| In bed
|
| Please kill me
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| ‘Cause I’m only fourteen
|
| In bed
|
| Sickly an’ green
|
| Please kill me
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| I’m feelin’ really lean, I’m in love, see
|
| In bed
|
| Please kill me
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| I’m too small for my shirt
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| Feature my hurt
|
| In bed
|
| Please kill me
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| I wanna be dead instead
|
| I wanna be dead
|
| In bed
|
| Please kill me
|
| Baby!
|
| ‘Cause that would thrill me
|
| Don’t you wanna
|
| Fulfill me with some love?
|
|
|
| Lord, I wanna be dead in bed
|
| [FZ] Flies all green an’ buzzin’ in his dungeon of despair
|
| Prisoners grumble and piss their clothes and scratch their matted hair
|
| A tiny light from a window hole a hundred yards away
|
| Is all they ever get to know about the regular life in the day
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White] An’ it stinks so bad, the stones been chokin’ an’ weepin’ greenish drops
|
| In the room where the giant fire puffer works an’ the torture never stops
|
| The torture never stops
|
| The torture…
|
| The torture…
|
| The torture never stops
|
|
|
| [FZ] Slime an’ rot an’ rats an’ snot an’ vomit on the floor
|
| Fifty ugly soldiers, man, holdin’ spears by the iron door
|
| Knives an’ spikes an’ guns and the likes of every tool of pain
|
| An’ a sinister midget with a bucket an’ a mop where the blood goes down the drain
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White] An’ it stinks so bad, the stones been chokin’ an’ weepin’ greenish drops
|
| In the room where the giant fire puffer works an’ the torture never stops
|
| The torture never stops
|
| The torture…
|
| The torture…
|
| The torture never stops
|
|
|
| [FZ] Flies all green an’ buzzin’ in his dungeon of despair
|
| An Evil Prince eats a steamin’ pig in a chamber right near there
|
| He eats the snouts an’ the trotters first
|
| The loins an’ the groins is soon dispersed
|
| His carvin’ style is well rehearsed
|
|
|
| He stands and shouts:
|
| “All men be cursed”
|
| “All men be cursed”
|
| “All men be cursed”
|
| “All men be cursed”
|
| And disagree, well, no-one durst
|
| He’s the best of course of all the worst
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] He’s the best of course of all the worst
|
| [FZ] Some wrong been done, he done it first
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Some wrong been done, he done it first
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White] An’ he stinks so bad, his bones been chokin’ an’ weepin’ greenish drops
|
| In the night of the iron sausage where the torture never stops
|
| The torture never stops
|
| The torture…
|
| The torture…
|
| The torture never stops
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [FZ] Flies all green an’ buzzin’ in his dungeon of despair
|
| Who are all those people that is locked away down there?
|
| Are they crazy?
|
| Are they sainted?
|
| Are they zeros someone painted?
|
|
|
| It has never been explained since at first it was created
|
| But a dungeon, like a sin
|
| Requires naught but lockin’ in
|
| Of everything that’s ever been
|
| Look at her
|
| Look at him
|
| (Yes, you, right there!)
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White] That’s what’s the deal we’re dealing in
|
| That’s what’s the deal we’re dealing in
|
| That’s what’s the deal we’re dealing in
|
| That’s what’s the deal we’re dealing in
|
|
|
| [FZ] Thank you!
|
| [Ray White] Alright!
|
|
|
| City of tiny lites
|
| Don’t you wanna go?
|
| Hear the tiny auto horns
|
| When they tiny blow
|
|
|
| Tiny lightnin’
|
| In the storm
|
| Say, tiny blankets
|
| Keep you warm
|
| Say, tiny pillows
|
| Tiny sheets
|
| Say, tiny cookies
|
| That peoples eat
|
|
|
| Ooh oh
|
| City of tiny lites
|
| Maybe you should know
|
| Oh no
|
| That it’s over there
|
| In the tiny dirt somewhere
|
|
|
| [FZ] You can see it any time
|
| When you get the squints
|
| From your downers and your wine
|
| You’re so big
|
| It’s so tiny
|
| Every cloud is silver line-y
|
| The great escape for all of you
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Tiny is as tiny do
|
| Tiny is as tiny do
|
| Tiny is as tiny do
|
| Tiny is as tiny do
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [FZ] Alright!
|
|
|
| [Ray White] Ah, tell me!
|
| City of tiny lites
|
| [Bianca Thornton] City of tiny lites
|
| [Ray White] Don’t you wanna go?
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Don’t you wanna go?
|
| [Ray White] Hear the tiny auto horns
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Hear the tiny auto horns
|
| [Ray White] When they tiny blow
|
|
|
| Tiny lightnin’
|
| In the storm
|
| Tiny blankets
|
| Will keep you warm
|
| Say, tiny pillows
|
| Tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny sheets
|
| Tiny cookies, yeah, yeah
|
| Talkin’ ‘bout the tiny cookies
|
| That peoples eat
|
| [Bianca Thornton] That peoples eat
|
| [Ray White] That the peoples eat
|
| The peoples eat
|
| [Bianca Thornton] That peoples eat
|
| [FZ] The peoples eat
|
| [Ray White] That the peoples eat
|
| [Bianca Thornton] That the peoples eat
|
| That the peoples eat
|
| [Bianca Thornton] That the peoples eat
|
| [FZ & Ray White] The peoples eat
|
| The peoples eat
|
|
|
| [FZ] It’s the Sanzini brothers Pyramid Trick revisited. Hard-core fans, there they are, ladies and gentlemen. Ray White, ladies and gentlemen. Stay tuned for Bianca.
|
| [Bianca Thornton] You… you, you… you, you, you, you…
|
| You…
|
| You… didn’t try…
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| Why didn’t you try? I’m so lonely
|
| No matter who I take home, I keep callin’ your name
|
| And you… (I need you so bad) you’re The One, babe
|
|
|
| Ooh
|
| Tell me, tell me, who’s lovin’ you now
|
| ‘Cause it worries my mind and I can’t sleep at all
|
| Stayed home on Friday just to wait for your call
|
|
|
| And you didn’t try, you didn’t try, you didn’t try, you didn’t try to call me
|
|
|
| Why didn’t you try? I’m so lonely
|
| No matter who I take home, I keep callin’ your name
|
| Oh, you… (I need you so bad) you’re The One, babe
|
|
|
| Ooh
|
| Tell me, tell me, who’s lovin’ you now
|
| ‘Cause it worries my mind and I can’t sleep at all
|
| Stayed home on Friday just to wait for your call
|
|
|
| I can’t see what’s wrong, what’s right
|
|
|
| All you gotta do is call me, babe
|
|
|
| You make me feel so excited, boy!
|
| I got so hung up on you from the moment that we met
|
| That no matter how I try, I can’t keep the tears
|
| From running down my face, I’m all alone in this place
|
|
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| No, no, no, no, no
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| Early in the morning, yeah
|
| Late in the evening, yeah
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
| You didn’t try to call me
|
|
|
| [FZ] Bianca! The next part of our program is going to feature our… charming little rhythm section on a song entitled “Mars needs women”.
|
| [FZ] It was the darkest night, there was no moon in sight
|
| You know, the stars ain’t shinin’ ‘cause the sky’s too tight
|
| Heard the scary wind, I seen the ugly trees
|
| There was a werewolf honkin’ ‘long the side of me
|
|
|
| I’m mean an’ I’m bad, y’know, I ain’t no sissy
|
| Got a big-titty girly by the name of Chrissy
|
| Talkin’ about her an’ my bike an’ me…
|
| An’ this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, Mystery
|
|
|
| It was 11 o’clock upon a Friday night
|
| You know the girl and me was feeling outta sight
|
| We had twenty reds and a big ol’ pile of weed
|
| You know we drank some wine and then we LSD’d
|
|
|
| Chrissy puked twice and jumped on my bike
|
| She yelled: “Fire it up, ‘cause you know what I like!”
|
| She burned her leg on a tail-pipe then
|
| And yelled: “Shit-a-ree!” and puked again
|
|
|
| I noticed even the crickets were actin’ weird up here
|
| An’ so I said: “Well, come on and let’s drink a little beer”
|
| I said: “Gimme summa that, what you’re suckin’ on…”
|
| But there was no reply ‘cause she was gone…
|
|
|
| “Where’s those titties I like so well
|
| An’ my goddamn beer!” is what I started to yell
|
| Then I heard this noise like a crunchin’ twig
|
| An’ ✄ UP, jumped the Devil, he’s about this big…
|
|
|
| He had a red suit on an’ a widow’s peak
|
| An’ then a pointed tail an’ like a sulphur reek
|
| Yes, it was him awright, you know, I knew it was
|
| He had some human flesh stuck underneath his claws
|
|
|
| You know, it looked to me like it was titty skin
|
| I said: “You, son of a bitch!” ‘cause I was mad at him
|
| He just got out his floss an’ started cleanin’ his fang
|
| So I shot him with my shooter, said: “BANG BANG BANG”
|
|
|
| The sucker just laughed an’ said
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Oh, put it away…
|
| You know, I ate her all up…
|
| Now what you gonna say?
|
|
|
| [FZ] You ate my Chrissy?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Yeah, titties an’ all!
|
| [FZ] Well, what about the beer then?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Ah, were the cans this tall?
|
|
|
| [FZ] Even her boots?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Now, would I lie to you?
|
| [FZ] Shit, you musta been hungry
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Yeah, this is true
|
|
|
| [FZ] Don’t they pay you good for the stuff you do?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Well, you know, I can’t complain when the checks come through…
|
|
|
| [FZ] I want my Chrissy
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Yeah?
|
| [FZ] I want my beer
|
| [Terry Bozzio] So what?
|
| [FZ] You just puke it back up, boy, do you hear?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man!
|
| I mean, I am the Devil, do you understand?
|
| Just what will you give me for your titties and beer?
|
| I s’pose you noticed this little contract here…
|
|
|
| [FZ] You’re goddam right, you, son-of-a-whore
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Don’t call me that!
|
| [FZ] That’s about the only reason I learned writin’ for…
|
| Gimme that paper… bet yer ass I’ll sign
|
| Because I need a beer an’ it’s titty-squeezin’ time!
|
|
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Man, you can’t fool me… you ain’t that bad!
|
| I mean you shoulda seen some of the souls that I’ve had…
|
| [FZ] Oh yeah?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] There was Milhous Nixon an’ Agnew, too…
|
| An’ both of those suckers was worse ‘n you…
|
|
|
| [FZ] Well, let’s make a deal if you think that’s true.
|
| I mean, after all you’re the Devil… now, whatcha gonna do? Come on!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] What am I gonna do?
|
| [FZ] You can… You can have my soul
|
| [Terry Bozzio] What?
|
| [FZ] It’s a mean little sucker
|
| ‘Bout a thousand years old
|
| [Terry Bozzio] You want me to take…?
|
| [FZ] But once you gets it
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Oh no
|
| [FZ] You can’t give it back
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Wha…
|
| [FZ] You gotta keep it forever
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Oh
|
| [FZ] And that’s a natural fact!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Forever?
|
| [FZ] Do you understand me? Am I making myself perfectly clear to you?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Man, well, I don’t know if I want you around hell forever
|
| [FZ] Take my soul
|
| [Terry Bozzio] I mean…
|
| [FZ] Take my soul! I don’t care
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Oh no
|
| [FZ] Who needs a soul anymore?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] No, wait a minute, you got those funky things growing in your hair, you…
|
| [FZ] Really. Who needs it?
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Oh, you’re crazy, man!
|
| [FZ] I’d rather have beer!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Wait… oh no, wait, you’re freaking me out
|
| [FZ] Take my soul, give me the beer
|
| [Terry Bozzio] You want… No, wait, hold it, wait!
|
| [FZ] Give me the beer and the titties!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] No, hold it, wait, wait, wait!
|
| [FZ] Give me the titties!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Titties, beer, wait!
|
| [FZ] Give me more beer
|
| [Terry Bozzio] WAIT!
|
| [FZ] Give me bigger titties!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] No, wait… no, wait, please, please
|
| [FZ] Bigger titties and more beer. And hockey!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] NO!
|
| [FZ] And give me football!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] NOOO!
|
| [FZ] And give me baseball!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Wait!
|
| [FZ] And give me titties and beer and television!
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Titties, beer and baseball, with television!
|
| [FZ] And give me…
|
| [Terry Bozzio] No, wait!
|
| [FZ] Give me everything
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Wait
|
| [FZ] Take my soul, but…
|
| [Terry Bozzio] God help me
|
| [FZ] Mostly the titties
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Oh
|
| [FZ] Just give me the titties
|
| [Terry Bozzio] Wait, wait… NOOOOO!
|
|
|
| [Terry Bozzio] No! Don’t sign it! Give me time to think… I mean…
|
| Hold on, boy… ‘cause that’s magic ink!
|
|
|
| [FZ] And then the Devil puked an’ out jumped m’ girl
|
| They heard the titties plop-ploppin’ (That’s right!) all around the world
|
| [Bianca Thornton] “I got me three beers an’ a couple of downs
|
| An’ I’m gonna get ripped, so just fuck you clowns!”
|
| [FZ] Then she gave us the finger, it was rigid an’ stiff
|
| That’s when the Devil, he farted an’ she went right over the cliff
|
| [Bianca Thornton] OH! […]
|
|
|
| [FZ] Oh, she had such a good time going down
|
|
|
| The Devil was mad, I took off to my pad
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
| I swear I do declare! How did she get back there?
|
|
|
| [FZ] Awright! Now we have a song for lovers only. Pay close attention to this.
|
| [Bianca Thornton] No more credit at the liquor store
|
| My suit is all dirty and my shoes is all tore
|
| I’m tired and lonely and my heart is all sore
|
| Advance romance
|
| I can’t use it no more
|
|
|
| He told me that he loved me, I believed what he said
|
| He took me for a sucker, boy, all corn-fed
|
| The next thing I knew he had a bolt on the door ▶
|
| Advance romance
|
| Oh, I can’t use it no more
|
|
|
| I took Terry’s watch ▶ like I always do
|
| It was a Timex, too!
|
| WAH-HOO WAH-HOO
|
| And a shame on you
|
| No more money, boy
|
| I shoulda knew
|
| They should have told him earlier in the program
|
| Shoulda told me too
|
| The way she do me, boy, well
|
| She might do you too
|
| The way she do me, boy
|
| She might do you too
|
| The way she do me, boy
|
| She might do you too
|
| Now look what she did to Patrick tonight
|
|
|
| [Patrick O’Hearn] Ain’t got no power, what the fuck […]
|
| [FZ] (Wait, just a moment, we can’t be having any of this… Tex, come here, quick, find out why there’s no electricity going to the electric bass. We must have some little doodads walking around backstage. Oh, talk amongst yourselves)
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Advance romance
|
| Can’t use it no more
|
|
|
| Potato-Head Bobby ▶ was a friend of mine
|
| He open three of his eyes in the food stamp line
|
| He open four of his eyes in the food stamp line
|
| He open five of his eyes in the food stamp line
|
| He open six of his eyes in the food stamp line
|
| Say he might be the Devil
|
| He might be the Devil, uh-huh
|
| Might be the Devil, ow ow, now now
|
| Might be the Devil, uh-huh
|
| Well, well, but he sure is fine now
|
| Advance romance
|
| Oh, you wanna try it one time
|
|
|
| Later that night he drop on by
|
| Told me all he wanna do was come up and say “Hi”
|
| HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI HI-HI
|
| Half an hour later he had frenched his fry
|
| Advance romance
|
| Bobby, say goodbye
|
|
|
| Advance romance
|
| Bobby, say goodbye, GOODBYE
|
| [FZ] Thank you!
|
|
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
|
|
|
| He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)
|
| His fav’rite phrase was “Outa-site”
|
| He had an Irish Setter
|
| Hratche-plche hratche-plche hratche-plche arf
|
|
|
| It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
|
| The moon was dim, the band was tight
|
| They did the Bump together
|
|
|
| [Ray White] What a splendid sight
|
| Roon doon doon doon
|
| Her teeth were white
|
| Oo-ah oo-oooh
|
| The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite)
|
| [FZ] He was glad that he met her
|
|
|
| She was an office girl, “My name is Betty”
|
| Her fav’rite group was HELEN REDDY
|
| (They discussed the weather!)
|
|
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a…
|
| Baby, don’t you want a…
|
| Baby, don’t you want a MAN!
|
|
|
| She was a lonely sort, just a little too short
|
| Her jokes were dumb and her fav’rite sport
|
| Was hockey (in the winter)
|
| [Mumble]
|
|
|
| He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
|
| Any sport with a PUCK had to be ‘bout the best
|
| As he jabbed his elbow in her
|
| (Get it, honey?)
|
|
|
| Later on they went off to where the music was soft
|
| The candles were drippy, they saw a real hippy
|
| Who delivered their dinner
|
| There he is!
|
|
|
| The rice was brown and soon they found
|
| That the crowd around that had jammed the room
|
| Well, it seemed to be getting thinner
|
|
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a…
|
| Ah, baby, don’t you want a…
|
| Baby, don’t you want a MAN!
|
|
|
| He took her home to a motor court
|
| She would not kiss him, he tried to ignore it
|
| But it made him angry!
|
| Angry! It made me angry!
|
| Why, it made me so angry
|
| I COULD HAVE KILLED THAT LOUSY BITCH!
|
|
|
| He called her a slut
|
| Slut slut slut
|
| A pig
|
| Pig pig pig
|
| And a whore
|
| Whore whore whore
|
| A bitch
|
| Bitch bitch bitch
|
| And a cunt
|
| Cunt cunt cunt
|
| And she slammed the door
|
| The door!
|
| In a petulant frenzy!
|
| A petulant frenzy!
|
| This is a petulant frenzy!
|
| I’m petulant
|
| And I’m having a frenzy!
|
|
|
| On the sofa she weeps
|
| BOO HOO HOO HOO!
|
| She weeps and she weeps
|
| BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!
|
| She weeps and she peeps through the curtain
|
|
|
| He just got in his car
|
| But the battery’s dead
|
| So he asked to use the phone
|
| And she gives him some head
|
| And that’s the end of the story
|
|
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
|
| Honey, honey, hey
|
| Baby, don’t you want a…
|
| Baby, don’t you want a…
|
| Baby, don’t you want a MAN!
|
|
|
| Baby, don’t you want a MAN sometimes?
|
| [FZ] And here he comes…
|
|
|
| Hi and howdy doody?
|
| I’m the union man, you can call me Rudy
|
| Any you boys not paid up on your cards?
|
| Huh?
|
| Huh?
|
|
|
| You know I’m pleased to meet ya
|
| I’ve been tryin’ all day to reach ya
|
| The union’s here to help every one of you rock & roll stars
|
| (That’s right!)
|
|
|
| You boys know we care a lot
|
| About the way they treat ya
|
| They send a guy like me to every gig
|
| Just to get a chance to meet ya
|
| To check and see
|
| No wrong’s been done
|
| That’s one good reason
|
| I carry a gun
|
|
|
| I hope the bulge
|
| Don’t bum you out
|
| Wanna get a good look?
|
| Let me pull it right out!
|
| Let me pull it right out!
|
| Let me pull it right out!
|
| Let me whip it right out!
|
|
|
| Hi and howdy doody?
|
| I’m the union man
|
| I’m the union man
|
| I’m the union man
|
| Hi and howdy doody?
|
| I’m the union man, you can call me Rudy
|
| Any you boys not paid up on your cards again?
|
| Huh?
|
|
|
| Know I’m pleased to meet ya
|
| I been tryin’ all day to reach ya
|
| ‘Cause the union’s here to help every one of you rock & roll stars
|
| Yes!
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Welcome to Chicago
|
| Welcome to L.A.
|
| Welcome to our local here
|
| You’ll always hear me say…
|
|
|
| The work is here, it’s a couple a bucks
|
| I’m sure you’re glad to pay
|
| Whip it out, here’s your receipt
|
| Now I’ll go away
|
| Now I’ll go away
|
| Now I’ll go away
|
| Now I’ll go away
|
|
|
| Away-ay-ay-ay-eh-yeah
|
| Away-ay-ay-ay-eh-yeah
|
| Away-ay-ay-ay-eh-yeah
|
|
|
| [FZ] Thank you!
|
| [FZ] Remember Freddie and Jo
|
| The night you went to the show?
|
| A monster movie
|
| Clutchin’ at yer hand
|
| Wait ten seconds
|
| Clutchin’ at yer arm
|
| Wait ten seconds
|
| Clutchin’ at yer elbow
|
| Where did your brassiere go?
|
| And then the monster came out
|
| An’ everybody shout
|
| People all around you
|
| Screamin’ at the monster
|
| The monster from the U.S.O.
|
|
|
| Who’s this dude with his hair straight back?
|
| His new white socks, an’ his pants all black
|
| His T-shirt is rolled
|
| His watch is gold
|
| A ‘55 Chevy that his brother just stoled
|
|
|
| And his arm’s around yer waist
|
| His hand is in yer pants
|
| He asks you for a date
|
| To the servicemen’s dance
|
|
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Suppose you don’t wanna
|
| What you gonna do
|
| When a guy like that
|
| Got his hands on you?
|
| [Ray White] Oh, baby!
|
| Tell me, baby
|
| Would you go all the way for the U.S.O.?
|
| Would you go all the way for the U.S.A.?
|
| Would you go all the way for the U.S.O.?
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Lift up your dress if the answer is no
|
|
|
| Would you go all the way?
|
| Would you go all the way?
|
| Would you go all the way?
|
| Would you go all the way?
|
|
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Would you go all the way?
|
| Would you go all the way?
|
| Would you go all the way?
|
| Would you go all the way?
|
| Go all the way?
|
| Go all the way?
|
| Go all the way?
|
| Go all the way?
|
| No, no
|
| No, no
|
| No, no
|
| [FZ] No, no, no, no, no, no, no
|
| [Ray White] Oh, maybe I might…
|
| [FZ] However…
|
| [Bianca Thornton] No, no, no, no
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] She’s such a dignified lady
|
| She’s so pretty and soft
|
| You can’t call her a groupie
|
| It just pisses her off
|
| She’s got diamonds and jewelry
|
| She’s got lotsa new clothes
|
| She ain’t hurtin’ for money
|
| So that everyone knows…
|
|
|
| She knows what she wants
|
| She knows what she likes
|
| Daddy, daddy, daddy
|
| Daddy, daddy, daddy
|
| Daddy, daddy, daddy
|
| Look out, she’s got her eyes on you
|
|
|
| She left her place after midnight ▶
|
| La la la la la
|
| And she came to the club
|
| La la la la-ee-ah!
|
| You know that her and her partner
|
| La la la la la
|
| Came down here lookin’ for love
|
| La la la la-ee-ah!
|
| They want a guy from a group
|
| La la la la la
|
| Who’s got a thing in a charts
|
| La la la la-ee-ah!
|
| AND IF HIS DICK IS A MONSTER…
|
| IF HIS DICK IS A MONSTER…
|
| IF HIS DICK IS A MONSTER…
|
| THEY WILL GIVE HIM THEIR HEARTS
|
|
|
| ‘Cause they know what you got
|
| They know what they like
|
| Daddy, daddy, daddy
|
| Daddy, daddy, daddy
|
| Daddy, daddy, daddy
|
| Alright, you got ‘em screamin’ all night
|
|
|
| WORK! WORK! WORKIN’ THE WALL! ▶
|
|
|
| Daddy, daddy, daddy
|
| Daddy, daddy, daddy
|
| Daddy, daddy, daddy
|
| Awright, you got ‘em screamin’ all night
|
| [FZ] What’s a girl like you doin’ in a place like this?
|
| What, do you hang out in hockey rinks? What is it?
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Well…
|
| [FZ] What is it with you?
|
| [Bianca Thornton] I left my place after midnight
|
| [FZ] Sure you did
|
| [Bianca Thornton] And I came to this hall, me and my girlfriend came here
|
| [FZ] Me too
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Lookin’ to ball
|
| [FZ] Well, you came to the right place, this is it
|
| This is the swingin’-est place in all of Philadelphia
|
| [FZ & Bianca Thornton] NO SHIT!
|
|
|
| [Bianca Thornton] How true that is!
|
| [FZ] How true indeed
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Me and my girlfriend came here looking for the hot romance we need
|
| [FZ] Right!
|
| [Bianca Thornton] We like to get it on. Do you like… Do you like to get it on, too? Yeah, baby.
|
| [FZ] Well, now, what did you have in mind?
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Well, I… get off bein’ juked with a baby octopus and spewed upon with creamed corn. While my girlfriend digs it with a Wide Mouth Gatorade bottle.
|
| [FZ] Nice!
|
| [Bianca Thornton] While someone in the background could be screamin’, you know what I mean:
|
| [FZ] Working the wall ▶
|
| [Chorus] “CORKS an’ SAFETIES, PIGS an’ DONKEYS”
|
| PUNKY MEADOWS ▶, STEVEN TYLER
|
|
|
| [FZ] That gets me so hot I could scream:
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] PUNKY MEADOWS, STEVEN TYLER
|
| [FZ] Oh boy!
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] PUNKY MEADOWS, STEVEN TYLER
|
| [FZ] You know you and your girlfriend sound really far out and groovy. Ever been to a Holiday Inn?
|
| Yeah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa
|
| Magic Fingers in the bed ▶ with a wall-mounted TV screen
|
| […] on the eleven o’clock news
|
| Coffee-Host plugged into the bathroom wall, Formica is really keen!
|
|
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Aw, what kind of girl?
|
| [FZ & Ray White] What kind of girl do you think she are?
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Aw, what kind of girl?
|
| [FZ & Ray White] What kind of girl do you think she are?
|
| [Bianca Thornton] I ain’t no groupie
|
| [FZ & Ray White] Don’t call her “groupie”, that is going too far
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Hey, what kind of girl?
|
| [FZ & Ray White] She wouldn’t ball you just because you’re a star
|
| [Bianca Thornton] No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
|
| [FZ] Let me tell you the truth, this girl wouldn’t let just anybody spew on her vital parts, no, no!
|
| She wants a guy from a group with a big hit single in the charts!
|
|
|
| Funny I should mention it: our new single made the charts this week with a bullet!
|
| With a bullet!
|
| With a bullet!
|
| Just let me re-adjust my necktie right now and I will show you how, yes indeed, a young girl such as you might be thrilled and overwhelmed by me
|
| [Bianca Thornton] What hotel did you say you were staying at?
|
| [FZ] Oh, should I really tell you?
|
| I mean, do you wanna split right away?
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Well uh… not so fast, you silly boy
|
| [FZ] Oh no, no, no, no
|
| [Bianca Thornton] You see, there’s something I have to say
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White] She wants a guy from a group who’s got a thing in the charts
|
| She wants a guy from a group who’s got a thing in the charts
|
| She wants a guy from a group who’s got a thing in the charts
|
| She wants a guy from a group who’s got a thing in the charts
|
|
|
| And if his dick is a monster…
|
| If his dick is a monster…
|
| If his dick is a monster…
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] They will give him their hearts
|
| [FZ] I couldn’t say where she’s comin’ from
|
| But I just met a lady named Dinah-moe humm
|
| Strolled on over, say: “Look here, bum
|
| I got a forty-dollar bill says you can’t make me cum
|
| (No! Y’ jes’ can’t do it)”
|
|
|
| She made a bet with her sister who’s a little bit dumb
|
| She could prove it any time all men was scum
|
| I don’t mind that she called me a bum
|
| But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
|
| (So I got down to it)
|
|
|
| Whipped off her bloomers an’ stiffened my thumb
|
| An’ applied rotation to her ✄ sugar plum
|
| I poked an’ stroked till my wrist got numb
|
| But I still didn’t hear no Dinah-moe humm
|
| Dinah-moe humm
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Dinah-moe humm
|
| Dinah-moe humm
|
| Where’s this Dinah-moe comin’ from?
|
| I done spent three hours an’ I ain’t got a crumb
|
| From the Dinah-moe, Dinah-moe, Dinah-moe
|
| From the Dinah-moe humm
|
|
|
| [Bianca Thornton] I got a spot that gets me hot
|
| [FZ & Ray White] An’ you ain’t been to it
|
| [Bianca Thornton] I got a spot that gets me hot
|
| [FZ & Ray White] An’ you ain’t been to it
|
| Got a spot that gets me hot
|
| But you ain’t been to it
|
| Got a spot that gets me hot
|
| But you ain’t been to it
|
|
|
| [Bianca Thornton] But I can’t get into it to get myself out of it
|
| No, I gotta get out of it to get myself into it
|
| I gotta get into it to get myself out of it
|
| But I gotta be out of it to get myself into it
|
|
|
| [FZ] She looked over me with a glazed eye and some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area, and she said…
|
| Now listen this, she said:
|
|
|
| “Just get me wasted an’ you’re half-way there
|
| ‘Cause if my mind’s tore up then my body don’t care”
|
| I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin an’ said: “My-my-my
|
| What sort of thing might this lady get high upon?”
|
|
|
| The forty-dollar bill didn’t matter no more
|
| When her sister got nekkid an’ laid on the floor
|
|
|
| She said Dinah-moe might win the bet
|
| But she could use a little (yaw!) if I wasn’t done yet
|
| I told her
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Just because the sun want a place in the sky
|
| No reason to assume I wouldn’t give her a try
|
|
|
| [FZ] So I pulled on her hair
|
| Got her legs up in the air
|
| An’ asked if she had any cooties in there
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Whaddya mean cooties? No cooties on me!
|
|
|
| [FZ] She was buns-up kneelin’
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] BUNS-UP!
|
| [FZ] I was wheelin’ an’ dealin’
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] WHEELIN’ AN’ DEALIN’ AN’ OOOOH!
|
| [FZ] She surrender to the feelin’
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED!
|
| An’ she started in to squealin’
|
|
|
| [FZ] Dinah-moe watched from the edge of the bed
|
| With her lips just a-twitchin’ an’ her face gone red
|
| Some drool rollin’ down from the edge of her chin
|
| While she spied the condition her sister was in
|
|
|
| Boy, she quivered an’ quaked an’ she clutched at herself
|
| While her sister made a joke about her mental health
|
| Until Dinah-moe finally did give in
|
| But I told her all she really needed was some discipline… ▶
|
| I said:
|
|
|
| Kiss my aura… Dora…
|
| It’s real angora
|
| Would y’all like some more-a?
|
| Right here on the flora?
|
| An’ how ‘bout you, Fauna?
|
| I… I can see that Fauna wanna
|
| How about you, Flora?
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Do I wanna?
|
| [FZ] I don’t know, do you wanna?
|
| [Bianca Thornton] I don’t know
|
| [FZ] Go ahead, Fauna, swallow it, Fauna, go ahead, swallow it
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Well, I know I have something dirty to do
|
|
|
| [FZ] Listen, wipe it on this
|
| Awright, now look
|
| D’you think I could interest you in a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?
|
| What you think?
|
| [Bianca Thornton] Well, I don’t know if I like tweezers quite enough
|
| [FZ] Every night is the same thing! She tells me she’s got a charley horse in her tongue.
|
| [Bianca Thornton] But I do have a charley horse in my tongue
|
| [FZ] That’s an old one, Fauna, listen
|
| No excuses, this time you get the tweezers
|
| We’re gonna have to sterilize ‘em so…
|
| Awright, you’re ready?
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] I couldn’t say where she’s comin’ from
|
| But I just met a lady named Dinah-moe humm
|
| She stroll on over, say: “Look here, bum
|
| I got a forty-dollar bill say you can’t make me cum
|
| [FZ] (No, no! Y’ jes’ can’t do it)”
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] She made a bet with her sister who’s a little bit dumb
|
| She could prove it any time all men was scum
|
| I don’t mind that she called me a bum
|
| But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
|
| (So I got down to it)
|
|
|
| I whipped off her bloomers an’ stiffened my thumb
|
| An’ applied rotation to her sugar plum
|
| I poked an’ stroked till my wrist got numb
|
| You know, I heard some Dinah-moe humm
|
| A little Dinah-moe humm
|
|
|
| Dinah-moe
|
| Dinah-moe
|
| Dinah-moe
|
| Dinah-moe
|
| Little Dinah-moe
|
| Little Dinah-moe
|
| Little Dinah-moe
|
| Little Dinah-moe
|
| Little Dinah-moe
|
| Little Dinah-moe
|
| Little Dinah-moe
|
|
|
| [FZ] Ray White on guitar
|
| Patrick O’Hearn on bass
|
| Terry Bozzio on drums
|
| Eddie Jobson on keyboards and violin
|
| Bianca on vocals, tambourine and Fender Rhodes piano
|
| Thanks a lot for coming to the show
|
| Oh, wait a minute… Fido on poodle
|
| Hope you enjoyed it
|
| Good night!
|
|
|
| [FZ] Thank you! Well… alright, here’s a little something to get you up on your feet.
|
| [FZ] The name of this song is “Stranded in the jungle”
|
|
|
| Yes, yes, yes!
|
|
|
| I crashed in the jungle while trying to keep a date
|
| With my little girl who was back in the States
|
| Stranded in the jungle, ‘fraid, alone
|
| Trying to figure a way to get a message back home
|
| But how was I to know that the wreckage of my plane
|
| Had been picked up and spotted, and my girl in Lover’s Lane?
|
|
|
| [Ray White] Meanwhile, back in the States…
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White] Baby, baby, let’s make romance
|
| You know, your old-time lover hasn’t got a chance
|
| He’s stranded in the jungle, stranded as he can be
|
| So, come on pretty baby, just you and me
|
|
|
| [FZ] Meanwhile, back in the jungle…
|
|
|
| The boys in the jungle had me on the run
|
| When something heavy hit me, like an atomic bomb
|
| [Ray White] When I woke up, and my head started to clear
|
| I had a strange feeling I was in cooking gear
|
| [FZ] I turn around and I looked to see
|
| That’s when I found out they was a-cooking me
|
|
|
| [Ray White] Great googa-mooga! Let me out of here!
|
|
|
| [FZ] Meanwhile, back in the States…
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White] Baby, baby, let’s make romance
|
| You know, your old-time lover hasn’t got a chance
|
| He’s stranded in the jungle, stranded as he can be
|
| So, come on pretty baby, just you and me
|
|
|
| [FZ] Meanwhile, back in the jungle…
|
|
|
| Well, I jumped out the pot, and I finally got away
|
| Frantic with worry about what my baby’d say
|
| [Ray White] So, I jumped in the ocean and I started to swim
|
| But my chances of survival were getting mighty slim
|
| [FZ] So, I thumbed down a whale who was heading my way
|
| And I reached the States in about half a day
|
| [Ray White] Now, when I got to Lover’s Lane, I was almost dead
|
| [FZ] But my soul was gone, and here’s what I said:
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White] Baby, baby, the man is no good
|
| Oh baby, baby, you should have understood
|
| You can trust me as long as I’m free
|
| So, come back, pretty baby, where you used to be
|
| ‘Cause I love you
|
| ‘Cause I love you
|
| ‘Cause I love you
|
| ‘Cause I love you
|
| ‘Cause I love you
|
| ‘Cause I love you
|
| ‘Cause I love you
|
| [FZ] Awright awright awright awright. Now, let’s… let’s shift gears now and go into something else. Ah, you… you won’t… you WON’T believe this, ladies and gentlemen, we’re actually going to release a single off of this next album. This is a song… This… This is a song that gives advice to the lovelorn, some very specific advice to the young gentlemen in our audience who definitely wanna get laid. This is a… This is a virtual instruction booklet on how to do it. OK. The name… And I know you all need some help, just from up here looking at ya, I know you could use some help. So if you’ll… if you’ll follow these instructions carefully I’m sure something will happen to you. The name of this song is “Find her finer”.
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Find her finer, sneak up behind her
|
| Wrapped like a mummy till you finally unwind her
|
| Find her blinder, see who designed her
|
| Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
|
|
|
| [FZ] If you should see a girl on the street
|
| Now listen
|
| Now, maybe you might think she is sweet
|
| But if you wanna tickle her treat
|
| Now, really, what should you do?
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Rat-tat-tat-tat ta-da
|
|
|
| [FZ] Don’t let her… Don’t never and don’t never let her know you are smart
|
| Because the universe is nowhere to start
|
| You know you… you gotta play it straight from the heart
|
| She gwine renunciate you, boy
|
| [Ray White] That’s why you gotta…
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Find her finer, sneak up behind her
|
| Wrapped like a mummy till you finally unwind her
|
| Find her blinder, see who designed her
|
| Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
|
| [FZ] That’s right! Act like a dummy, it always works!
|
|
|
| And furthermore…
|
| Now, maybe you might think this is rude
|
| And maybe you might think I am crude
|
| And maybe this approach I have spewed
|
| Is not the one for you
|
| [Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Rat-tat-tat-tat ta-da
|
|
|
| [FZ] But believe me later on you gonna find
|
| As you impress her with your mind
|
| That you would just be left behind
|
| For a wiser fool
|
| [Ray White] So you might as well…
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] Find her finer, sneak up behind her
|
| Wrapped like a mummy till you finally unwind her
|
| Find her blinder, see who designed her
|
| Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
|
| [Repeat]
|
|
|
| [FZ] You got it down, you can really do it. Everybody, act like a dummy! You don’t have to go all the way, you don’t have to be a complete dummy, you can be a partial dummy. You can even be a closet dummy. There’s room for all kinds of dummy in contemporary America. Here’s another kind of dummy…
|
| [FZ] She had that Camarillo Brillo
|
| Flamin’ out along her head
|
| I mean her Mendocino bean-o
|
| By where some bugs had made it red
|
|
|
| She ruled the toads of the Short Forest ▶
|
| And every newt in Idaho
|
| And every cricket who had chorused
|
| By the bush in Buffalo
|
|
|
| She said she was a magic mama
|
| And she could throw a mean tarot
|
| And carried on without a comma
|
| That she was someone I should know
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] She had a snake for a pet
|
| And an amulet
|
| And she was breeding a dwarf
|
| But she wasn’t done yet
|
| She had gray-green skin
|
| A doll with a pin
|
| I told her she was awright
|
| But I couldn’t come in
|
|
|
| [FZ] And so she wandered through the doorway
|
| Just like a shadow from the tomb
|
| She said her stereo was four-way
|
| (That’s right!)
|
| An’ I’d just love it in her room
|
|
|
| Well, I was born to have adventure
|
| So I just followed up the steps
|
| Right past her fuming incense stencher
|
| To where she hung her castanets
|
|
|
| She stripped away her rancid poncho
|
| (You got it!)
|
| An’ laid out naked by the door
|
| We did it till we were un-concho
|
| An’ it was useless any more
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] She had a snake for a pet
|
| And an amulet
|
| And she was breeding a dwarf
|
| But she wasn’t done yet
|
| She had gray-green skin
|
| A doll with a pin
|
| I told her she was awright
|
| But I couldn’t come in
|
| [FZ] (Actually, I was very busy then, you see)
|
|
|
| [FZ & Ray White & Bianca Thornton] And so she wandered through the doorway
|
| Just like a shadow from the tomb
|
| She said her stereo was four-way
|
| An’ I’d just love it in her room
|
|
|
| Well, I was born to have adventure
|
| So I just followed up the steps
|
| Right past her fuming incense stencher
|
| To where she hung her castanets
|
|
|
| I chewed my way through her rancid panocha
|
| She laid buck nekkid by the door
|
| We did it till we were un-concho
|
| And it was useless any more
|
| Yes, it was useless any more
|
| Yes, it was useless any more
|
| [FZ] Alright!
|
| [FZ] Girl, you thought he was a man but he was a muffin
|
| He hung around till you found that he didn’t know nuthin’
|
|
|
| Girl, you thought he was a man but he only was a-puffin’
|
| No cries is heard in the night as a result of him stuffin’
|
| He shoulda rammed it in there!
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [FZ] Girl, you thought he was a man but he was a muffin
|
|
|
| Everybody sing along! OK, I’ll tell you the words, it’s really easy, ‘cause I have to sing it so low, so maybe you can’t tell what the words are if you don’t have the “Bongo Fury” album you’ll never know. The words are:
|
| “Girl, you thought he was a man but he was a muffin”
|
| And then you say:
|
| “He hung around till you found that he didn’t know nuthin’”
|
| And then you say:
|
| “Girl, you thought he was a man but he only was a-puffin’”
|
| That’s right! And then you say:
|
| “No cries is heard in the night as a result of him stuffin’”
|
| OK. Now wait…
|
|
|
| [FZ & Bianca Thornton] Girl, you thought he was a man but he was a muffin
|
| [FZ] (That’s right!)
|
| [FZ & Bianca Thornton] He hung around till you found that he didn’t know nuthin’
|
|
|
| [FZ] (A big choral effect here)
|
|
|
| [FZ & Bianca Thornton] Girl, you thought he was a man but he only was a-puffin’
|
| [FZ] (Don’t be shy! Don’t be shy!)
|
| [FZ & Bianca Thornton] No cries is heard in the night as a result of him stuffin’
|
|
|
| [FZ] I always felt that the people in this town was… they were very musical. I thought that… if there was any place in the world where we could actually get real live audience participation it would have to be Philadelphia. I mean, look. Just think of me as… think as… Just think of me as sort of an older, more sinister Dick Clark. You know what I mean?
|
| Awright, awright! Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, this is the basis of… this is the basis for communication in America today. I’d like to have each and every one of you stand up and salute the flag. Here it is.
|
| This is your American heritage, right here. 200 years and this is ALL you get. RIGHT THERE.
|
| Maybe in 200 more years you can have THESE!
|
| And, if evolution takes its natural course, in 1000 years you can do it with your feet, if you still got any.
|
|
|
| [Instrumental]
|
|
|
| [FZ] Ray! Patrick! Terry! Eddie! Bianca! Fido! Richard Nixon right out there in the… Thanks for coming by, Dick.
|
|
|
| He’s looking good, he’s looking better than I’ve seen him in weeks.
|
| Thanks for coming to the show. Good night.
|
 Photo by Alan Smithee and John Rudiak.jpg "(Front) Photo by Alan Smithee and John Rudiak")
.jpg "(CD inside)")
Songs list
| 
Title origin
|
Listen original song on YouTube
|