(Back) (Front)


Live at Circus Krone, Munich, Germany - September 8, 1978

Beat the boots II - At the circus

 

  1 A pound for a brown (on the bus)
  2 Baby snakes
  3 Dancin’ fool
  4 Easy meat
  5 Honey, don’t you want a man like me?
  6 Mother people
  7 Wonderful wino [Frank Zappa, Jeff Simmons]
  8 Why does it hurt when I pee?
  9 Seal call fusion music
10 Bobby Brown
11 I’m on duty

 

All compositions by Frank Zappa, except as noted above.


1. A pound for a brown (on the bus)


[FZ] All right, we’re on the air
[?] Wait a minute
[Tommy Mars] Frank, is it lit?
[Ike Willis] Whose air? Brown hair.
 
[Instrumental]
 
[FZ] No poodle?

2. Baby snakes


[FZ] That’s really stupid. Now, some of these toys are quite exceptional, but this toy is really stupid looking. Let’s make him rock.
 
Watch me now!
 
Baby snakes
[FZ] Late at night is when they come out
Baby snakes
Sure you know what I’m talkin’ about
Pink an’ wet
They make the best kinda pet
Baby…
Baby…
Snakes
 
I looked around an’ there’s a couple right near me
Baby snakes
Maybe I think they can probably hear me
Pink an’ wet
I’ll take all I can get
Baby…
Baby…
Baby…
Sna-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-kes
YEAH!
 
They live in a ho-ho-ho-ho-hole
Tiny hole
That is usually empty
Usually empty
 
They live by a co-co-a-co-a-co-co-a-code
Dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit dit
That is usually SMPTE
Which stands for
Society of Motion Picture & Television Engineers
 
Well, maybe I think
That is what keeps them in sync
They’re wet an’ they’re pink
I think I’ll give ‘em a… give ‘em a… give ‘em a drink

3. Dancin’ fool


[FZ] One, two, three, four
 
I don’t know much about dancin’, that’s why I got this song

One of my legs is shorter than the other an’ both my feet’s too long
‘Course now right along with ‘em, I got no natural rhythm
But I go dancin’ every night, hopin’ one day I might get it right
 
I’m a… dancin’ fool
Dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
Dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
 
I hear that beat, I jump outta my seat, but I can’t compete
‘Cause I’m a… dancin’ fool
Dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
 
The disco folks all dressed up like they’s fit to kill
I walk on in an’ see ‘em there gonna give them all a thrill
When they see me comin’ they all steps aside
They has a fit while I commit my social suicide
 
I’m a… dancin’ fool
Dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
Dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
 
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so… I’m so… I’m so wrong
 
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
The beat goes on an’ I’m so wrong
 
I may be totally wrong but I’m a… dancin’ fool
I may be totally wrong but I’m a… dancin’ fool
 

Yowsa, yowsa, yowsa!
 
I got it all together now (Oh, girl) with my very own disco clothes, hey!
My shirt’s half open, to show you my chain an’ the spoon for up my nose
“I am really somethin’”, that’s what you’d probably say
So smoke your little smoke, drink your little drink, while I dance all night away
 
I’m a… dancin’ fool
Dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
Dancin’ fool
I’m a… dancin’ fool
HE’S A… DANCIN’ FOOL
 
I may be totally wrong but I’m a…
I may be totally wrong but I’m a…
I may be totally wrong but I’m a…
I may be totally wrong but I’m a FOOL-UH!
Oh, girl
 
Say, darlin’… can I buy ya a drink?
Ki-ni-shinai!
Lookin’ for Mister Goodbar? Well, here he is!
Wait a minute… I’ve got it… you’re an Italian!
Ki-ni-shinai!
You’re Jewish?
Love your nails…
Ki-ni-shinai!
You must be a Libra…
Your place or mine?

4. Easy meat


[Ike Willis] This girl is easy meat
I seen her on the street

See-through blouse an’ a tiny little dress
Her manner indiscreet…
I knew she was…
 
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy…
Easy, easy…
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat
 
She wanna take me home
Make me sweat and moan
Rub my head and beat me off
With a copy of Rolling Stone
I knew she was…
 
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy…
Easy, easy…
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat
 
[Instrumental]
 
[Ike Willis] I told her I was late
I had another date
I can’t get off on Rolling Stone
But the robots think it’s great…
Hey, I knew she was…
 
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy…
Easy, easy…
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat
 
Easy…
Easy…
Easy… MEAT!

5. Honey, don’t you want a man like me?


[FZ] Honey, honey, hey
Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
Honey, honey, hey
Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
 
He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)
His fav’rite phrase was “Outa-site
He had an Irish Setter
Hratche-plche hratche-plche hratche-plche arf
 
It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
The moon was dim, the band was tight
They did the Bump together
 
What a splendid sight
Run nun nun naa
Her teeth were white
The drinks were cheap (it was Ladies Nite)
He was glad that he met her
 
She was an office girl, her name was Betty
Her fav’rite group was Helen Reddy
(They discussed the weather!)
 
Honey, honey, hey
Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
Honey, honey, hey
Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
Honey, honey, hey
Baby, don’t you want a…
Ah, baby, don’t you want a…
Ah, baby, don’t you want a MAN!
 
She was a lonely sort, just a little too short
Her jokes were dumb and her fav’rite sport
Was hockey (in the winter)
[Mumble]
 
He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
Any sport with a PUCK had to be ‘bout the best
As he jabbed his elbow in her
(Get it, honey? Get it?)
 
Later on they went off to where the music was soft
The candles were drippy, they saw a real hippy
Who delivered their dinner
 
The rice was brown and soon they found
That the crowd around that had jammed the room
Well, it seemed to be getting thinner
 
Honey, honey, hey
Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
Honey, honey, hey
Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
Honey, honey, hey
Ah, baby, don’t you want a…
Ah, baby, don’t you want a…
Ah, baby, don’t you want a MAN!
 
He took her home to a motor court
She would not kiss him, he tried to ignore it
But it made him angry!
Angry! It made me angry!
Why, it made me so angry
I COULD HAVE KILLED THAT LOUSY BITCH!
 
He called her a slut
Slut slut slut
A pig
Pig pig pig
And a whore
Whore whore whore
A bitch
Bitch bitch bitch
And a cunt
Cunt cunt cunt
And she slammed the door
The door!
In a petulant frenzy!
A petulant frenzy!
This is a petulant frenzy!
I’m petulant
And I’m having a frenzy!
 
On the sofa she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO!
She weeps and she weeps
BOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO!
She weeps and she peeps through the curtain
 
He just got in his car
But the battery’s dead
So he has to use the phone
And she gives him some head
And that’s the end of the story
 
Honey, honey, hey
Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
Honey, honey, hey
Baby, don’t you want a man like me?
Honey, honey, hey
Baby, don’t you want a…
Ah, baby, don’t you want a…
Ah, baby, don’t you want a MAN!
 
Baby, don’t you want a MAN sometimes?

6. Mother people


We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You’re the other people too
Found a way to get to you
 
Do you think that I’m crazy? Out of my mind?
Do you think that I creep in the night and sleep in a phone booth?
 
Lemme take a minute & tell you my plan
Lemme take a minute & tell who I am
If it doesn’t show, think you better know I’m another person
 
Do you think that my pants are too tight?
Do you think that I’m creepy?
 
Better look around before you say you don’t care
Shut your fuckin’ mouth about the length of my hair
How would you survive if you were alive, shitty little person?
 
We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You’re the other people too
Found a way to get to you
 
We are the other people
We are the other people
We are the other people
You’re the other people too
Found a way to get to you
 
Do you think that I love you, stupid & blind?
Do you think that I dream through the night of holding you near me?

7. Wonderful wino


[?] Won’t you give me an A sharp?
[FZ] If the Monkees were doing this show they’d already be tuned up
[?] Who would care?
[FZ] In E
[?] E-e-e-e-e
[FZ] Awright that’s good enough. Here we go. Tawdriness. One, two, three, four.
 

Bringing in the sheaves

Bringing in the sheaves

We will come rejoicing

Bringing in the sheaves

 
L.A. in the summer of ‘69
I went downtown and bought some wine
Wasted my head on three quarts of juice
And now the grapes won’t turn me loose
I’m a wino man
Don’t you know I am?
Oh wow-wow
 
36, 24, hips about 30
I seen a fine lady and I started talkin’ dirty
She looked at me and raised her thumb
And said: “Jam down the road, you funky-ass bum”
I’m a wino man
Don’t you know I am?
Oh wow-ow
 
I… I went to the country
And while I was gone
A roller-headed lady
Caught me weedling on her lawn
I’m so ashamed, but I’m a wino man
And I can’t help myself
HELP ME SOMEBODY!
 
[Instrumental]
 
I’m a wino man
Don’t you know I am?
 
My saxophone playing
And my wino career are in a slump
‘Cause I find myself now living
In a cardboard refrigerator box down by the Houston dump
And I’m so ashamed
 
I’ve been drinkin’ all night till my eyes are all red
Crashed in the gutter, got bugs in my head
Bugs in my coat, been scratchin’ like a dog
I can’t stand water and I stink like a hog
Give me fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks and a hot meal
Give me fi-i-i-i-i-ive bucks and a hot meal
Oh yeah

8. Why does it hurt when I pee?


[FZ] One, two, three
 
[Ike Willis] Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don’t want no doctor to stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
 
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up and grabbed my meat
I got it from the toilet seat
 
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
I must be got the GON-O-KA-KA-KHACKUS!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
 
[Instrumental]

9. Seal call fusion music


[Vinnie Colaiuta] Ahw ahw ahw
 
[FZ] THIS is cheap. This is really cheap, watch this.
 
[Vinnie Colaiuta] Ahw ahw ahw
 
[FZ] How ‘boutHow about a disco “Seal call” solo?
 
[Vinnie Colaiuta] Ahw ahw ahw
 
[FZ] OK, OK, now a waltz “Seal call” solo from… from Bavaria
 
[Vinnie Colaiuta] Ahw ahw ahw
 
[Vinnie Colaiuta] Yeah, Frankie, y’know…
[FZ] Yeah, Vinnie?
[Vinnie Colaiuta] These things just crack me up, y’know
[FZ] I know it, Vinnie, I’m tellin’ ya. How would you like to have a little accordion with that?
[Vinnie Colaiuta] Oh! Tommy!
[FZ] Tommy, Tommy, you think you cou could give him a little accordion with these “Seal calls”?
[Vinnie Colaiuta] Where are you anyway?
[FZ] “Seal call fusion music”. It’s a Penderecki number.
 
[Vinnie Colaiuta] Ahw
 
[Tommy Mars] Do you mean it, Vinnie? Vin? I really wanna KNOW. Y’know, I’ve been really put on by a lot of penguins an’ seals when it’s ICYYYY! Actually, cryogenics is expanding, day by day.

[FZ] Day by day, I’m fallin’ more in love with you, an’ day by… You’re just like a penguin in bondage, boy
 
[Vinnie Colaiuta] Ahw ahw ahw
 
[Tommy Mars] Oh oh, ah ah, you’re gettin’ me hotter, Vinnie, hotter! I wanna get colder!
[FZ] Mauricio Kagel, eat yer heart out!

10. Bobby Brown


[FZ] Hey there, people, I’m Bobby Brown
They say I’m the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie
 
Here I am at a famous school
I’m dressin’ sharp an’ I’m actin’ cool
I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper
Let her do all the work an’ maybe later I’ll rape her
 
Oh God, I am the American dream
I do not think I’m too extreme
An’ I’m a handsome son of a bitch
I’m gonna get a good job an’ be real rich
 
Women’s Liberation
Came creepin’ all across the nation
I tell you, people, I was not ready
When I fucked this dyke by the name of Freddie
 
She made a little speech then
Aw, she tried to make me say “when”
She had my balls in a vise, but she left the dick
I guess it’s still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick
 
Oh God, I am the American dream
But now I smell like Vaseline
An’ I’m a miserable son of a bitch
Am I a boy or a lady? I don’t know which
I wonder wonder, wonder wonder
 
So I went out an’ bought me a leisure suit
I jingle my change, but I’m still kinda cute
Got a job doin’ radio promo
An’ none of the jocks can even tell I’m a homo
 
Eventually me an’ a friend
Sorta drifted along into S&M
I can take about an hour on the Tower of Power
‘Long as I gets a little golden shower
 
Oh God, I am the American dream
With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
An’ I’ll do anything to get ahead
I lay awake nights sayin’: “Thank you, Fred!”
 
Oh God, oh God, I’m so fantastic
Thanks to Freddie, I’m a sexual spastic
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now; I’m goin’ down
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now; I’m goin’ down
And my name is Bobby Brown
Watch me now

11. I’m on duty


[FZ] An’ I just look back at ‘em and I say: “I am on duty
 
On duty
On duty
On duty
I’m on duty
I’m on duty
I’m on duty
I’m on duty, duty, duty, duty, oh, duty!
(Good God!)
Duty!
Duty!
Duty!
Duty!
I’m on duty!
Duty!
I’m on duty!
Duty!
Duty, duty, duty
[Repeat]
 
[FZ] And whenever I say that to ‘em, when I’m going through customs, they always look back at me and they say: “Come on, Frank, tell us the truth. What are you REALLY ON? I mean, you can’t possibly expect us, with our uniforms and our submachine guns, to think that you’re just… I mean, what are you ON?” An’ I just say: “I’m ON duty!”
 
I’m on duty!
I’m on duty!
I’m on duty!
 
[FZ] Y’know, there was a time when I wasn’t really on duty. There was a time when… well, let’s just say there wasn’t any need for my services, because… well, y’know, sometimes a guy gets unemployed. But today, I’ve found work. I’ve found happiness. Because I’m one of the few Americans who actually is on duty. Y’know what I mean? Hey!



Munich - September 8, 1978

English lyrics from site Information Is Not Knowledge.