Uncle Meat - Frank Zappa

Soundtrack

Linked material:

Uncle Meat

Disc 1

1 Uncle Meat: main title theme
2 The voice of cheese
3 Nine types of industrial pollution
4 Zolar czakl
5 Dog breath, in the year of the plague
6 The legend of the golden arches {A pound for a brown + Uncle Meat}
7 Louie Louie (At the Royal Albert Hall in London) [Richard Berry]
8 The dog breath variations
9 Sleeping in a jar
10 Our bizarre relationship
11 The Uncle Meat variations {+ Exercise #4}
12 Electric Aunt Jemima
13 Prelude to King Kong
14 God bless America (Live at the Whisky a Go Go) [Irving Berlin]
15 A pound for a brown on the bus
16 Ian Underwood whips it out (Live on stage in Copenhagen) {King Kong}
17 Mr. Green Genes
18 We can shoot you
19 “If we’d all been living in California…”
20 The air
21 Project X
22 Cruising for burgers

Disc 2

1 Uncle Meat film excerpt - Part 1 [CD bonus track]

2 Tengo na minchia tanta [CD bonus track]

3 Uncle Meat film excerpt - Part 2 [CD bonus track]

4 King Kong itself (as played by the Mothers in a studio)

5 King Kong (its magnificence as interpreted by Dom DeWild)

6 King Kong (as Motorhead explains it)

7 King Kong (the Gardner Varieties)

8 King Kong (as played by 3 deranged Good Humor Trucks)

9 King Kong (live on a flat bed diesel in the middle of a race track at a Miami Pop Festival… the Underwood ramifications)

All compositions by Frank Zappa, except as noted above.

Front side text

(MOST OF THE MUSIC FROM THE MOTHERS’ MOVIE OF THE SAME NAME WHICH WE HAVEN’T GOT ENOUGH MONEY TO FINISH YET)

This film is stashed away in my basement, while we scheme on how to raise $300,000 to finish it and make it spiffy so it can be shown in your local teenage neighborhood theater. This is an album of music from a movie you will probably never get to see.

Album notes by FZ

THE MOTHERS at the time of this recording were:

FRANK ZAPPA - guitar, low grade vocals, percussion

RAY COLLINS - swell vocals

JIMMY CARL BLACK - drums, droll humor, poverty ▶

ROY ESTRADA - electric bass, cheeseburgers, Pachuco falsetto

DON (Dom De Wild) PRESTON - electric piano, tarot cards, brown rice

BILLY (The Oozer) MUNDI - drums on some pieces before he quit to join RHINOCEROS

BUNK (Sweetpants) GARDNER - piccolo, flute, clarinet, bass clarinet, soprano sax, alto sax, tenor sax, bassoon (all of these electric and/or non-electric depending)

IAN UNDERWOOD - electric organ, piano, harpsichord, celeste, flute, clarinet, alto sax, baritone sax, special assistance, copyist, industrial relations & teen appeal

ARTIE (With the Green Mustache) TRIPP - drums, timpani, vibes, marimba, xylophone, wood blocks, bells, small chimes, cheerful outlook & specific enquiries

EUCLID JAMES (Motorhead/Motorishi) SHERWOOD - pop star, frenetic tenor sax stylings, tambourine, choreography, obstinance & equipment setter upper when he’s not hustling local groupies

Special thanks to:

RUTH KOMANOFF who plays marimba and vibes with Artie on many of the tracks, and

NELCY WALKER the soprano voice with Ray & Roy on “Dog breath” & “The Uncle Meat variations”

The music on this album was recorded over a period of about 5 months from October 1967 to February 1968. Things that sound like a full orchestra were carefully assembled, track by track through a procedure known as overdubbing. The weird middle section of “Dog breath” (after the line “ready to attack”) has forty tracks built into it. Things that sound like trumpets are actually clarinets played through an electric device made by Maestro with a setting labeled Oboe d’Amore and sped up a minor third with a V.S.O. (variable speed oscillator). Other peculiar sounds were made on a Kalamazoo electric organ. The only equipment at our disposal for the modification of these primary sounds was a pair of Pultec filters, two Lang equalizers, and three Melcor compressors built into the board at Apostolic Studios in New York. The board itself is exceptionally quiet and efficient (the only thing that allowed us to pile up so many tracks) and is the product of Mr. Lou Lindauer’s imagination and workmanship. The material was recorded on a prototype Scully 12 track machine at 30 ips.

The whole project was engineered by Richard Kunc or “Dynamite Dick”, as he is known to the trade. Special engineering credits go to Jerry Hansen for the percussion effects added later at Sunset Sound in L.A., and to our friend Mike in Copenhagen for the tapes he sent us.

The words to the songs on this album were scientifically prepared from a random series of syllables, dreams, neuroses and private jokes that nobody except the members of the band ever laugh at, and other irrelevant material. They are all very serious and loaded with secret underground candy-rock psychedelic profundities.

(Basically this is an instrumental album)

The story of Uncle Meat

An evil scientist lusts for revenge after being laid off at a missile plant in the valley when the government contract is cancelled. Using equipment stolen from the plant over a period of years (assembled in a deserted Van Nuys garage) and some recipes for mystical potions from an old book, Uncle Meat and his Mexican slave, Bimbo, prepare to rule the universe with an army of mutant monsters.

A rock & roll combo is kidnapped from the Whisky a Go Go. Disguised as groupies, Uncle Meat and Bimbo lure the unsuspecting victims to their garage on the pretext of giving them a chance to expand their consciousness. They arrive at the garage and are given paper cups full of Kool-Aid, which is drugged.

Uncle Meat and Bimbo place the victims on little mechanic’s carts from under an old Nash in the corner and cover the limp bodies with the psychedelic posters they have used to conceal the lab equipment. They prepare to administer the serum.

Each victim is given a blast from a nasal mist squeezer. Uncle Meat (who never really cared for Bimbo) takes him by surprise, grabs his head and stuffs the unit up his nose. Bimbo collapses, unconscious on the floor. Uncle Meat explains to the audience that when he throws the switch on the wall, the minds of his victims will be completely reprogrammed with the details of his master plan. He pulls out a roll of computer tape and places it in the machine. The tape will be played directly into the brain through head gear placed on the victims. When the process is completed not only will their consciousness be expanded, their brains will actually be enlarged. He explains that the human skull (a hard bone) doesn’t really leave much room for the type of tissue growth the victims will experience here, and that the enlarged brain will extend through the sinus cavity into the noses of the group. This area has been softened by the nasal mist and will reshape itself to accommodate the extra brain cells.

He throws the switch. Under the posters, the noses become erect. Uncle Meat explains further that the mutants have been equipped with a secret mind-destroying vocal drone mechanism. The sounds attack the glandular system of the victim, destroying his will and forcing his body to quiver helplessly, while crazed fantasies race through his mind.

Uncle Meat drinks a potion that will make him immortal. The screen is lit with a stereotyped bolt of lightning. The rustle of the posters is heard off screen… the mutants are rising.

We see the streets of a city, (high angle shot) filled with conservatively dressed people bustling about. Suddenly, a woman screams, drops her purse and points into the sky. People gather around her and look up to see what’s going on. A greenish shadow covers them… they are frozen with terror.

We see a reverse angle shot from their point of view… looking out toward the city’s skyline. Towering above it, swaying titanically, snatting immense white-gloved fingers and lip-syncing their latest hit, Ruben & The Jets ▶ prepare to destroy everything that contemporary civilization stands for.

The crowd is hypnotized. They begin to writhe and quiver and huddle closer together. The moon and the stars come out. Brightly colored crepe paper streamers descend from the buildings all around. Men and women hug each other close and begin to dance in the street (super teen-age romantic 1950 style). Zoom in on a couple as they kiss and dance… dissolve through distortion glass to a dream sequence of 1950’s drive-ins, make out parties, high schools, the Korean War and “I like Ike”, intercut with the titanic Ruben & The Jets; brain-snouts flopping in slow motion.

Cut abruptly to an extreme close-up of Uncle Meat speaking directly to the audience: “Certain sounds at certain intensities have amazing effects on plants and vegetables ▶. They’ll never take me alive! Ha ha ha!” His laughter fades in echo as we dissolve to a starry night in the desert.

It is quiet except for a little light wind. We are traveling across the wasteland toward a huge hydro-electric dam.

Dynamo hum increases as we near it. We cruise over the dam itself and appear to land on the top of one of the high voltage towers nearby. A shot from the ground level reveals a mysterious ice box white ‘39 Chevy ▶ taco wagon helicopter has come to rest at the top of the tower. The door opens and a white gloved hand reaches out with a giant snipper. It cuts THE BIG WIRE. Sparks fly all over and the wire falls to the ground.

The camera moves in to an E.C.U. of the hot wire as footsteps come crunching up out of the darkness. A gnarly hand reaches for the wire, picks it up and drags it away as the camera follows. The wire is dragged quite a distance until finally the dragger of the wire whips a giant ready-to-go electric plug out of his pocket, attaches it to the wire, and plugs it into an enormous female socket built into the ground. The sun is beginning to come up. We pull back for a wider view. Standing by the big wire and big plug and big socket is Uncle Meat. In the distance we can see the taco wagon helicopter lift off and float toward him in the sunrise.

Over the shoulder of the Chevy helicopter driver, through the chopped front windshield, we see Uncle Meat, surrounded by a lot of big wires, all plugged into the ground, some gigantic science fiction type electrical switches nearby, and a truckload of large hotel lobby flower pots with leafy green plants in them. All this is poised on the edge of the Grand Canyon. The helicopter settles in the nest of plants. Uncle Meat runs over with a pair of microphones on short stands. He places them behind each of the Chevy’s crimped exhaust pipes, and throws a big switch, converting the Grand Canyon into a gigantic amplifier. Ruben revs up the engine and backs off the pipes. Uncle Meat jumps in the Chevy. The sound of the pipes (amplified like the roar of a rocket engine) causes the plants to grow like “Jack and the Beanstalk”, lifting the Chevy into outer space. As the vines streak upward, large grotesque pods grow under the leaves and flop off on the ground near the big switches and into the canyon.

Disc 1

1. Uncle Meat: main title theme

[Instrumental]

2. The voice of cheese

[Pamela Zarubica] Hello, teen-age America, heh. My name is Suzy Creamcheese ▶.

SNORK

I’m Suzy Creamcheese because I’ve never worn fake eyelashes in my whole life and I never made it on surfing set and I never made it on beatnik set and I couldn’t cut the groupie set either and uh… actually I really fucked up in Europe.

SNORK

Now that I’ve done it all over and nobody else will accept me.

SNORK

I’ve come home to my Mothers.

3. Nine types of industrial pollution

[Instrumental]

4. Zolar czakl

[Instrumental]

5. Dog breath, in the year of the plague

AY-YEAH

La la la la la wee-ooo

Ay!

La la la la la wee-ooo

Woo-pah!

Bom-bop-bom bom-bom-pa-paw

La la la la la wee-ooo

Uh-uh-hey!

La la la la la wee-ooo

Yeah-pah-hey!

Dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit-dit

Please hear my plea!

Cucuroo carucha (Chevy ‘39 ▶)

Going to El Monte Legion Stadium ▶

Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)

Helps me stealing hub caps, wasted all the time

[Nelcy Walker] Fuzzy dice, bongos in the back

My ✄ ship of love is ready to attack

Primer mi carucha (Chevy ‘39)

Going to El Monte Legion Stadium

Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)

Helps me stealing hub caps, wasted all the time

Fuzzy dice, bongos in the back

My ship of love ready to attack

Won’t you please hear my plea?

Primer mi carucha (Chevy ‘39)

Drive me to El Monte Legion Stadium

Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)

Helps me stealing hub caps, wasted all the time

Fuzzy dice, bongos in the back

My ship of love ready to attack

[Instrumental]

6. The legend of the golden arches {A pound for a brown + Uncle Meat}

[Instrumental]

[Pamela Zarubica] The first thing that attracted me to Mothers’ music was the fact that they played for twenty minutes and everybody was hissing and booing and falling off the dance floor.

And Elmer was yelling at them to get off stage and turn down their amplifiers.

7. Louie Louie (At the Royal Albert Hall in London)

[Notes by Terry Gilliam on “Strictly Commercial” album - 1995 - abridged]

No matter how much my body decays, I have been unable to remove one particular shard of memory that remains firmly stuck - festering in my brain as a result of Frank Zappa.

It was 1967. I had just left America for England. One autumn evening, wandering through Hyde Park, I bumped into Frank’s manager whom I knew from my former life in Los Angeles. The Mothers were performing at the Albert Hall the following night. Did I want to see them? You bet.

The Royal Albert Hall is a great Victorian monument… all red and gold and encrusted with elaborate decoration. With its tasteful boxes ringing the vast domed amphitheatre it represented to me all that was cultured, refined, and civilised… the product of generations of decent British citizens and their gracious rulers. But that night this proud testimonial to respectability had been usurped by the Mothers of Invention… a hairy three-ringed circus with Frank as the ringmaster.

The band roared and crashed about the stage. They were blasting out their familiar raucous songs with Frank controlling it all with his cool, knowing smile.

The audience, by American standards, was subdued and Frank seemed frustrated by his inability to get them on their feet. Whether it was planned or an inspired act of desperation I’ll never know but suddenly in the middle of a song the keyboard player abandoned his ivories and began to clamber up and over the speakers and other piles of electronic gear. An expectant ripple spread through the crowd. For a moment he disappeared - lost in the darkness. Then a spotlight managed to pick him out - a small motley figure climbing onwards and upwards - up the back of the auditorium - towards the gigantic mountain of brass pipes that comprised the great Albert Hall organ. The audience cheered him as Frank cranked up the band: “You can do it! Climb you bastard! Yes! Yes!” With the mob chanting and clapping this musical Quasimodo gained the summit and plunked himself down at the keyboard. There was a momentary hush as he grappled with the stops. And then the most glorious, outrageous sound ever heard erupted… no… it wasn’t Elgar or Bach or even Saint-Saens…

It was a great thundering musical nose-thumbing fart.

He was pounding out “Louie Louie” on that great Victorian organ. The barbarians had taken over! It probably felt like that the day they hoisted the hammer and sickle over the Winter Palace. The cobwebs were being blown away. The iconoclasts were king! It was utterly silly and wonderful… and we laughed and cheered and Frank’s cool, knowing smile widened ever so slightly.

(…)

London - September 23, 1967

[FZ] Ah! I know the perfect thing to accompany this man’s trumpet. None other than… the mighty and majestic Albert Hall pipe organ!

[Guy in the audience] Right!

[FZ] You understand that you won’t be able to hear the organ once we turn the amplifiers up

[FZ] Awright. Don? Whip it on ‘em!

[FZ] “Louie Louie”! They like it loud too, you know?

[Instrumental]

[FZ] Let’s hear again for the London Philharmonic Orchestra!

8. The dog breath variations

[Instrumental]

9. Sleeping in a jar

It’s the middle of the night and your mommy & your daddy are sleeping

Sleeping

Mom and dad are sleeping

Sleeping in a jar

The jar is under the bed

10. Our bizarre relationship

[FZ] Bizarre!

[Pamela Zarubica] Bizarre, he he

No one could ever understand our bizarre relationship because I was your intellectual frigid housekeeper. Especially when you’d be going to bed with one chick at night and I wake up in the morning and find another one there, screaming at me, heh. Asked me what the fuck that chick was doing in your bed and I’d walk in and you weren’t with the same one you were in the night before. Oh, I’ll never forget that, as long as I live. That house, well, it had your shit all over, and we had a cat and we had fleas and we had lots of crabs that we proceeded to give to everyone in Laurel Canyon except for Elmer and Phil, because they were too sick to ball.

Ha ha. Elmer has a mentality of approximately one peanut. Possibly. As a matter of fact, I can remember Elmer telling me that you really had a lot of talent, but he didn’t see how anyone could ever make it that insisted on saying “fuck” on stage.

And he used to drive by in his gold Cadillac and peer in the window, ha ha, ‘cause he never could get over the amount of groupie status that… that you had and he didn’t. Possibly because he’s 50 years old and wretched.

[FZ] HA HA HA!

11. The Uncle Meat variations {+ Exercise #4}

[Instrumental]

Ya ya ya ya ya

[Nelcy Walker] Ahhhahahhhh

Ya ya ya ya ya

[Nelcy Walker] Ahhhahahhhh

Fuzzy dice & bongos, fuzzy dice

[Nelcy Walker] I got ‘em at the Pep Boys at the BOYYYYYYYYS

Fuzzy dice & bongos, brodie knob & spinners chromium plated

Ha ha ha!

[Instrumental]

12. Electric Aunt Jemima

Ow ow ow ow

Rundee rundee rundee dinny wop wop

Ow ow ow ow

Rundee rundee rundee dinny wop wop

Electric Aunt Jemima, Goddess of love

Khaki maple buckwheats frizzle on the stove

Queen of my heart, please hear my plea

Electric Aunt Jemima cook a bunch for me

Tried to find a reason not to quit my job

Beat me till I’m hungry, found a punk to rob

Love me, Aunt Jemima, love me now & ever more

Love me Aunt Jemima

Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit

Dit-dit-dit-dit ditty-ditty

Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit

Dit-dit-dit-dit ditty-ditty

Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit

Dit-dit-dit-dit ditty-ditty

Dit-dit-dit-dit dit-dit-dit-dit dit

Tried to find a raisin, brownies in the basin

Monza by the street light, Aunt Jemima all night

Holiday & salad days & days of mouldy mayonnaise

Caress me

Ah!

Caress me

Ah!

Caress me, Aunt Jemima

Caress me

Ah!

Caress me, Aunt Jemima

Caress me

Ah!

Caress me, Aunt Jemima

Caress me

Ah!

Caress me, Aunt Jemima

Caress me

Ah!

Caress me, Aunt Jemima

[?] Mmm, boy, my lips are gettin’ heavy

[Spider Barbour] I can’t tell when you’re telling the truth

[?] I’m not!

[Spider Barbour] How do I know, anything you’ve said to me is…

[?] You don’t!

13. Prelude to King Kong

[Instrumental]

[Dick Kunc] Here’s one with your father’s moustache, your old cookie jar, rubbers, sneakers, galoshes, belt buckles, and book covers with the name of your high-school neatly imprinted in crimson and gold on the front with a picture of the goalpost and last year’s queen.

14. God bless America (Live at the Whisky a Go Go)

God bless America, land that I love

Stand beside her and guide her

Through the night with the light from above

Yeah!

[Instrumental]

15. A pound for a brown on the bus

[Instrumental]

[Dick Kunc] Fade!

16. Ian Underwood whips it out (Live on stage in Copenhagen) {King Kong}

[Ian Underwood] My name is Ian Underwood and I’m the straight member of the group.

[Pamela Zarubica] Wowie Zowie ▶

[Ian Underwood] One month ago I heard the Mothers of Invention at the theater. I heard them on two occasions, and on the second occasion I went up to Jim Black and I said: “I like your music, and I’d like to come down and play with you”. Two days later I came up to the recording session, and Frank Zappa was sitting in the control room. I walked up and said: “How do you do, my name is Ian Underwood and I like your music and I’d like to play with your group”. Frank Zappa says: “What can you do that’s fantastic?” I said: “I can play alto saxophone and piano”. He said: “All right, whip it out”.

[Instrumental]

17. Mr. Green Genes

Eat your greens, don’t forget your beans & celery

Don’t forget to bring your fake I.D. ▶

Eat a bunch of these magnificent

With sauerkraut

Mmmmmmmmmmm

Sauerkraut

Eat a grape, a fig, a crumpet too…

You’ll pump ‘em right through

Doo-wee-ooo

[Instrumental]

Eat your shoes, don’t forget the strings and sox

Even eat the box you bought ‘em in

You can eat the truck that brought ‘em in

Garbage truck

Mmmmmmmmmmmmouldy

Garbage truck

Eat the truck & driver and his gloves

Nutritiousness!

Deliciousness!

Worthlessness!

18. We can shoot you

[Instrumental]

[Ian Underwood] Dee… dee BAH dam… eeeeh-dam pa-pa-pa-pa-pam… tee-pa pa-pa-pa-pa-pam!

And just wail out the last one

[Bunk Gardner] Mmm, let’s start here, then

[Ian Underwood] Yeah

[Bunk Gardner] Three, four

19. “If we’d all been living in California…”

[FZ] OK? Now if you still want to get your name in magazines he wants FIVE hundred dollars a month!

[Jimmy Carl Black] Where does it come from? We worked one gig this month. And now, so, what do we get, two hundred dollars for this gig up here, if we’re lucky. If we’re lucky, we’ll get two hundred. And it’ll be two weeks before we get it. Probably. I mean a— after all uh… what is all this shit in the uh… in the newspaper? We sh— if we got such a big name, how come uh… we’re…

[FZ] That shit in the news…

[Jimmy Carl Black] We’re STARVING, man! This fucking band is STARVING! And we’ve been starving for three years. I realize it takes a long time but, goddamn, does it take another five, ten years from now?

[FZ] There’s some months when you’re not gonna work as much as other months. There’s some months when you’re gonna make A LOT of money, and if you average it out, you do make more than two hundred dollars a month.

[Jimmy Carl Black] Expenses are sure high, too. If we’d all been living in California, it would’ve been different.

[FZ] If we’d all been living in California, we wouldn’t work at all!

[Jimmy Carl Black] Ah, that’s true. Well, we’re not working n-now anyway! We worked one gig this month, Frank! WHAT’S WRONG WITH GETTING TWO MONTHS IN A ROW of this good money? Or three months in a row? Then we can afford to take three or four months off and everybody can… After the first month I can get just enough ahead, but if I had two more months, man, I’ll get ahead. ‘Cause I’m not living very extravagantly, I’ll tell you for sure.

20. The air

The air escaping from your mouth

The hair escaping from your nose

My heart escaping from the scraping and the shaping of the draping…

I’m awaking in a T-shirt, in a Chevy

At the beach

And I’m freezing

And I’m wheezing

And I know you were only teasing

I hit you

Then I beat you

Then I told you

That I love you

In my car

In a jar

In my car

In a jar

The air escaping from your pits

The hair escaping from my teeth

My hands are gripping but they’re slipping and they’re dripping ‘cause I’m tripping

I got busted

Wasted

Coming through customs

I’m so wasted

With a suitcase

Wasted

Full of tapes

I’m so wasted

It was a special

Tape recording

And they grabbed me

While I was boarding

Yes, they grabbed me, then they beat me, then they told me they don’t like me

And I crashed

In my Nash

We can crash

In my Nash

We can crash

In my Nash

We can crash

In my Nash

We can crash

In my Nash

21. Project X

[Instrumental]

22. Cruising for burgers

I must be free

My fake I.D.

Freeeeeees me

Gotta do a few things to make my life complete

I gotta live my life out on the street

The difference between us is not very far

Cruising for burgers in daddy’s new car

My phony freedom card brings to me

Instantly

Ecstasy!

[Instrumental]

Disc 2

1. Uncle Meat film excerpt - Part 1 [CD bonus track]

[VHS notes by FZ]

Work began on “Uncle Meat” in New York City during the summer of 1967. The early footage of the Mothers of Invention was shot during that period, in and around the Garrick Theater (on Bleecker Street in the West Village) by Ed Seeman, Ray Favata and Tom Mangrevede.

The original plot, as described in the “Uncle Meat” album booklet was never shot, and relates to this film only as a subtext.

Over the last 20 years, whenever there was enough money to allow for it, sections of “story continuity” were added (1968, 1970 and 1982), until the whole blob of raw footage was transferred to video tape, and the film in its final form was realized in the spring of 1987 at Pacific Video in Los Angeles.

Admittedly, this is sort of a weird movie, and, for some viewers, helpful hints on how to watch it might be in order. As with many of my other projects, “Uncle Meat” and its themes derive from “folk-lore”. Part of the problem with this technique lies in the fact that the “folks” involved are “non-standard behavioral types” and their “lore” tends to be somewhat arcane. In spite of this, just as folk songs and legends record people and events deemed “unworthy” of consideration by Serious Historians, this film, and other Honker releases provide a record for future generations that during this part of the 20th century there actually were people who did not think or act like the plasticized caricatures that will survive to represent us in TV re-runs or “Real World” history books.

[FZ] We’re shooting the uh… title sequence for “Uncle Meat” right now, which is the name of the Mothers of Invention movie that we’ve been working on for about three years… without too much success

[Don Preston] Boy, we really need a hit single. Just think, I mean, the way the world’s going today, with all the problems in it. I bet I could actually change the world, because it’s the young people that really need to be changed, and… and you could really do that through music and everything. This was our last hit single, it was really a bummer, they wouldn’t even play it on the radio. Oh, well, gotta come up with something better than that.

[Don Preston] Good evening, this is Biff Debris…

[Phyllis Smith] You know, it’s too much, I know

[Don Preston] … coming to you from the motel…

[Phyllis Smith] Look at that monster

[Don Preston] … where…

[FZ] Ha ha ha ha!

[Phyllis Smith] What are they laughing about? He looks so beautiful when they laugh.

[Don Preston] That’s what my psychiatrist used to say

[Phyllis Smith] Twelve years. It’s the same story though with that song, I don’t know what I’m doing, but look, look at the way he’s changing. Oh, I remember that in the shower, the first time with the hamburger. Oh, that was good, but, I don’t know, twelve years marriage, you get tired of the same thing. But I don’t know, I can try it again sometime. Oh, look there’s Minnesota! He was a great guy, Minnesota Tishman.

[Don Preston] We’re coming to the beginning of a new era ▶

[Phyllis Smith] He was a nice guy

[Don Preston] Don’t you feel it coming?

[Phyllis Smith] He was… He was OK in this time. He’s washed up now, I heard about him though.

[Ray Collins] What is it you’re doing, Mr. Tishman?

[Carl Zappa] I’m using the chicken to measure it

[Aynsley Dunbar] Pool?

[Phyllis Smith] You know what I used to do? I used to watch him eat, and while he was eating I would ask him what he’s doing.

[Haskell Wexler] What the hell are we doing in this bathroom?

[FZ] I’m going to… While you stand there and take pictures of that, I’m gonna tell you the… the plot of the movie. Alright. Basically what we’re going to do, today, is spend some time around the house while you meet the people that you’re going to be photographing for the rest of the week… and we discuss some of the absurdities.

[Haskell Wexler] Absurdities?

[FZ] Yes, we’re just dealing with the… the absurdities of making the movie in the first place and especially about the Mothers of Invention

[Guy from Alabama] You wanna have a circle-jerk?

[Aynsley Dunbar] The who?

[Guy from Alabama] Circle-jerk

[Aynsley Dunbar] A circle-jerk? What’s that?

[Guy from Alabama] That’s where you get everybody around and beat yer meat and see who can get it the fastest

[Aynsley Dunbar] Yeah?

[Guy from Alabama] Yeah, and whoever wins gets nineteen kegs

[Aynsley Dunbar] Nineteen who?

[Guy from Alabama] Kegs, you know

[Aynsley Dunbar] Cakes of what?

[Meredith Monk] Gee, Jimmy, that’s cool!

[Aynsley Dunbar] Cakes. Cheers. Yeah, anyway…

[FZ] What could that possibly mean? Hmmm, I wonder what happens if you go like this.

[Ray Collins] What is it that you’re doing with this?

[Carl Zappa] I’m using the…

[FZ] You know what I used to do? I used to watch him eat. And while he was eating, I would talk to him while he was eating, and I would ask him what he’s doing. And he would say: “I’m using the chicken to measure it”.

[Phyllis Smith] OK

[Don Preston] Can I borrow your comb?

[Phyllis Smith] You know what I used to do?

[Ray Collins] What are you doing with that?

[Phyllis Smith] I used to watch him eat

[Carl Zappa] I’m using the chicken to measure it

[Phyllis Smith] You know… You know what I used to do? I used to watch him eat. And while he was eating, I would ask him: “What are you doing?”

[FZ] Do it again

[Ray Collins] Why is he using a chicken to measure it?

[Phyllis Smith] And he would say: “I’m using the chicken to measure it”. What did he mean by that?

[Ray Collins] He’s using the chicken to measure it

[Phyllis Smith] Till this day I don’t know what he’s talking about!

[FZ] Do it again

[Phyllis Smith] That Tishman. That Minnesota Tishman. What a guy.

[Guy from Alabama] Eight inches or less?

[Aynsley Dunbar] Uh… Eight inches

[Guy from Alabama] Eight inches? Well, I can get you all kind of women, there, man.

[Aynsley Dunbar] You can? Yes, it’s cool.

[Guy from Alabama] Oh, they got some whores there you wouldn’t believe!

[Meredith Monk] Gee, Jimmy, that’s cool!

[Guy from Alabama] You can just fall right in

[Aynsley Dunbar] But do they play pool?

[Phyllis Smith] What a guy, what a sense of humour. The way he used to… Let me get back to that.

[FZ] Look at the way he hands that chicken

[Aynsley Dunbar] Do you want another ball?

[FZ] He had a way with that chicken

[Phyllis Smith] He… Look at the way he handles that chicken, he had a way… look at the way he holds it, and fondles it, and he put it right near his privates

[Aynsley Dunbar] But that’s cool, still

[Guy from Alabama] That’s cool, yeah

[Aynsley Dunbar] That’s cool, yeah, I sort of followed the…

[Guy from Alabama] I’m using the chicken to measure it, though

[Aynsley Dunbar] You were?

[Guy from Alabama] Yeah

[Aynsley Dunbar] Yeah, where’s the shit or the white dove?

[Guy from Alabama] I’m up to my knees in shit, man

[Aynsley Dunbar] Really

[Guy from Alabama] There’s all kind of shit, now about, all smokin’ shit

[Notes by FZ in the movie] 12 years later

[Massimo Bassoli] And now, we are going to translate: “This is my left hand”. Repeat after me: “Questa è la mia mano sinistra”. And now: “This is my right hand”. Repeat after me: “Questa è la mia mano destra”

[Ray Collins] What is it you’re doing?

[Carl Zappa] I’m using the chicken to measure it. Have you ever used a chicken to measure it?

[Meredith Monk] Gee, Jimmy, that’s cool!

[Guy from Alabama] I fucked a chicken

[Don Preston] We’re coming to the beginning of a new era ▶, wherein the development of the inner self is the most important thing. We have to train ourselves. So that we can improvise on anything: a bird, a sock, a fuming… beaker. This is… This too can be music. Anything can be music.

[FZ] Hello? Yeah, are you busy? Well, I was wondering, this is Frank. Can you come… Yeah, can you come over here and be in our uh… teen-age movie? OK, well, I’ll tell you what the action is.

[Phyllis Smith] He’s eating

[FZ] OK, he’s eating, you see. Don Preston. Well, it depends, mostly it’s a hamburger, sometimes, well, he doesn’t wanna eat the hamburger, ‘cause he’s a vegetarian. OK now Phyllis is here. Phyllis.

[Phyllis Smith] Who’s Phyllis?

[FZ] No, no, no, Phyllis is the girl that’s the… my assistant editor on the… on the film. Yeah, she used to be Tom Wilson’s secretary. OK. You remember Tom Wilson? We were gonna run for President.

[Aynsley Dunbar] You’re Tom Wilson?

[Carl Zappa] Yeah

[Aynsley Dunbar] Yeah?

[Carl Zappa] Then she came out here work on the Woodstock Festival…

[Ray Collins] What are you doing with that chicken?

[Carl Zappa] … and then uh… then…

[Ray Collins] I was measuring the ball

[Carl Zappa] … then Frank hired her to work on the Mothers movie

[Notes by FZ in the movie] Wadleigh Maurice edit room - Hollywood, California, 1970

[Phyllis Smith] Hi, I’m Phyllis Altenhaus, and I’m working with Frank Zappa on his film “Uncle Meat” in Hollywood. I’m a little nervous doing this ‘cause it’s the first time I’ve ever been a star in a film. I originally started working for Frank as his assistant editor on the film “Uncle Meat” and one day we were sitting around watching the Festival Hall shots, the rushes, and I saw Don come on the screen, Don Preston plays the monster, and I said: “Frank, look at Don! He’s turning into a monster! I’m gonna vomit!”

[FZ] When she sees him turning into a monster she has to vomit

[Phyllis Smith] Frank said: “That’s it, that’s the opening of the line, that… that… I mean, that’s the opening of the picture”. I said: “Frank, I can’t be in your picture, first of all, I have such a bad Brooklyn accent, I’m embarrassed by the whole thing!” And he said: “Don’t worry, you’ll do it”. So, you know, with Frank, he has a certain way about him, I mean he just gets people to do these things.

[Don Preston] He just makes me sick when he changes into a monster

[Phyllis Smith] Why? Why does he make you sick?

[Don Preston] Oh, can’t you see it how… how ugly it is that, being that monster? Oh, just, I can’t stand it, I… I think I’m gonna be sick, I have to vomit.

[FZ] She just… She tells me she has to vomit, see. She’s trying to make me believe that it makes her sick when he turns into a monster.

[Phyllis Smith] There’s something about that that gets me so nauseous, I don’t know what it is. Look at that, look at that.

[FZ] Yeah, but it’s not true. Well, you see, it gets her hot.

[Phyllis Smith] There’s something so sexy about him. When he comes on that stage, I get so hot just looking at him drinking that… that smoke stuff, I don’t know what it is. I don’t even care if he turns into a monster, I love it.

[Don Preston] Oh dear!

[Phyllis Smith] Look at that, oh, him with the cape, but he doesn’t… he walks away. It’s such a hot move and he… he’s so terrific when he goes back to that gong, oh, that’s so nice. Boy, I hope no one ever finds out I love it so much, that hot monster… oh… ooh.

[Don Preston] You’re really good at those dials, baby. You’re the most manipulating person I’ve ever seen.

[Phyllis Smith] I don’t like to be called manipulating, that’s for sure, but I like to think of myself as being hot

[FZ] She gets hot. And then she runs into the toilet, and she stands in front of the mirror and she makes faces to herself so she can turn into a monster. Isn’t it cute? That’s right, then, when she does that, and she’s having a fantasy that she’s turning into a monster, the monster comes out of the toilet from behind her.

[Phyllis Smith] Oh… a little lower, please

[Don Preston] How do you work all those controls in there? That’s really fantastic…

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, it’s nothing

[Don Preston] … all of those buttons and switches

[Phyllis Smith] It’s nothing. Look, look what’s going on there! Oh… oh, wow, this…

[Don Preston] I just can’t see how a girl could do all that

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, now with the… the Women’s Liberation Front we can do anything. You’re kidding? Oh… oh! It’s so good!

[Don Preston] This girl obviously has some sort of demented problem in where she… she likes uh… monsters that drink foamy vile liquid and uh… transform. It must be some uh… connection in her past, in her childhood or something. Maybe her father didn’t demonstrate enough uh… affection for her. It’s a…

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, it’s been so long…

[Don Preston] Tell me, did your father demonstrate any affection for you?

[Phyllis Smith] I’ve been watching you on the screen for four weeks. Finally, my monster. Is it real? Is it really you? Oh, that feels… Oh, monster, can I have a bite off of your apple?

[Don Preston] Mm… I think that uh…

[Phyllis Smith] It’s so nice to be here with a monster finally

[Don Preston] … it must be uh… her mother and father probably told her that she’s real ugly and awkward and dumb and everything…

[Phyllis Smith] It’s a good apple, monster

[Don Preston] … and so she relates to people that are ugly, dumb and awkward

[Phyllis Smith] Let me take off your hat so I can really see what’s happening underneath there. Just what I thought: a monster head.

[Don Preston] You’ll find this is quite common in uh… today’s society

[Phyllis Smith] It’s like Adam and Eve and the apple. Finally, here’s my monster… after all this time…

[Don Preston] That’s why monster movies are so popular, you know?

[Phyllis Smith] … I’d waited and waited…

[Don Preston] D’you know how many a monster movie costs to make?

[Phyllis Smith] … and there he is, he’s right here…

[Don Preston] Monster movies really cost a lot of money

[Phyllis Smith] … sitting with me, I can’t believe it! Is it really you, monster?

[Don Preston] And our young society today goes to all these monster movies and they see them on television night after night

[Phyllis Smith] It’s so terrific to be with the monster

[Don Preston] We’re raising a new generation of monster lovers

[Phyllis Smith] I’ve been waiting so long for the monster. Maybe this’ll be the real thing.

[Don Preston] He’s changing into a monster! You should see this! God, I get so hot!

[Aynsley Dunbar] Would you like a quick vibrator? Now you’ve ruined the whole thing.

[Carl Zappa] Have I? I’ll take one down!

[Aynsley Dunbar] Oh, cheers

[Carl Zappa] I thought you get the walking four-balls

[Aynsley Dunbar] No, no

[Carl Zappa] It’s difficult to walk on three…

[Don Preston] I’m using the chicken to measure it

[Carl Zappa] Don?

[Don Preston] I’m using the chicken to measure it

[Aynsley Dunbar] Charles

[Phyllis Smith] Aynsley Dunbar, who’s playing with Frank now, this real English pop-star, very attractive guy, and he’s like into a whole groupie thing with whips and things, don’t ask me, and Frank got this great idea, actually he gets this great idea for me, to have Aynsley in the Hollywood Ranch market, which we just did last night, hit him with toilet brushes. It’s… It’s a little dumb but I went along with it, you know, what else are you gonna do? You’re getting paid and uh… you do these things.

[Phyllis Smith] Cleanser… cleanser… cleanser… cleanser… cleanser…

[Aynsley Dunbar] Hello, there!

[Phyllis Smith] Cleanser… cleanser…

[Aynsley Dunbar] Say, could you do me a favor? Could you beat me with a toilet brush?

[Phyllis Smith] Beat you with a toilet brush?

[Aynsley Dunbar] Shhh, someone might hear. Yes, beat me with a toilet brush.

[Phyllis Smith] What’s your name?

[Aynsley Dunbar] Ah, hello, my name is Aynsley Dunbar and I… I’m very interested in whips and canes, et cetera. I’m gonna fill… fill you in about uh… my background.

[FZ] Are you absolutely serious about this? You really like whips and canes?

[Aynsley Dunbar] Oh yeah, yeah

[FZ] And you like…

[Aynsley Dunbar] I didn’t have too much chance to use ‘em here, as yet, because it’s, you know, the screams and that, would most likely wake the kids up! No, actually I’m moving on though to toilet brushes and things, ‘cause I think they’ll be coming in this year, definitely.

[Phyllis Smith] You want me to beat you with the toilet brush?

[Aynsley Dunbar] Yes

[Phyllis Smith] I mean like uh… I’m ready!

[Phyllis Smith] You know, I’ll tell you something, I find myself saying “I’m ready”, you know, and like, I slap my face when I’m saying “I’m ready”, because it’s like uh… in the house I’m saying “I’m ready”, you know? And there has to be a limit.

[Phyllis Smith] That’s a whip, I guessed right, you know I saw this handle sticking up here and I like, I… I guessed it right on first, you know? Like I know…

[FZ] Beat him while you’re talking

[Phyllis Smith] You know, like… I tell you something, I hope it’s not getting your kidney or anything like that.

[Aynsley Dunbar] Oh look, keep… keep… just keep it high, just keep it high

[Phyllis Smith] You know what I mean? I got worried about those things, I got… You know I’m humane, Aquarius and all this…

[Aynsley Dunbar] That’s great… That’s…

[Phyllis Smith] Venus is arising, you know, I’m humane

[Aynsley Dunbar] Just keep it high. Oh, love it, yeah, right.

[Phyllis Smith] Uh… Well, let’s see

[FZ] Ask him: “Does it get you hot?”

[Phyllis Smith] Is it getting you hot?

[Aynsley Dunbar] Oh, maybe it would do if I had another ‘bout fifteen people

[Don Preston] I know what gets you hot. Hamburgers get you hot, ‘cause I picked you up in the pool hall!

[Phyllis Smith] You don’t know what gets me hot, you don’t have the faintest idea what gets me hot!

[Don Preston] Sure! Hamburgers! Look at this.

[Phyllis Smith] I can’t take it

[Don Preston] See that?

[Phyllis Smith] I can’t take it. Oh God, that hamburger!

[Don Preston] But you don’t know what gets me hot

[Phyllis Smith] I’d bet I know what gets you hot. Sticks, sticks on your body on a table get you hot.

[Don Preston] I’m getting hot! When I was drinking the potion. And that hat and that cape and everything, just incredible! I’d… wonder what it’s like to… to change into a monster, it must be really great.

[Phyllis Smith] It’s just so wonderful. Give me a bite of the apple there. Mmm, oh, my monster! Oh, that’s so terr— Oh! I love that, when a monster does that, mm. Well, I’ve just been thinking, monster, we can take rides in the country in the Volkswagen, and… My monster, you’re feeling me up, my monster.

[FZ] It does get you hot

[Phyllis Smith] Well, it doesn’t get me hot

[FZ] I saw you laying on the floor in the corner with him!

[Phyllis Smith] I… It wasn’t me laying in the corner! That was… That wasn’t me!

[FZ] Ha ha. Who was it?

[Phyllis Smith] That was Sheba! It wasn’t me!

[FZ] Who is Sheba? Ha ha!

[Phyllis Smith] Sheba is the one that’s in love with Don

[Don Preston] And why… why do you like monsters?

[Phyllis Smith] It’s… It’s not their looks, it’s the intellectual thing that comes across, you know, you could tell that… I… Looks aren’t important to me, it’s something about the intelligence. When you mix that potion, you know when I’ve seen you mix that potion, I don’t know, it’s the intellectual way I get hot.

[Don Preston] Yeah, but what causes this?

[Phyllis Smith] You know what I mean?

[Don Preston] I mean, well…

[Phyllis Smith] It’s… It’s hotness

[Phyllis Smith] It used to be very… it was really nice and quiet in this place, that’s why I came here, because of the feeling like… like a place to get away from things, and now what’s going on, it’s like all noise and I don’t know, it doesn’t… Wherever you go nowadays it’s the same thing, all these guys they’re so disgusting, I can’t stand it.

[Don Preston] Look, anybody… anybody sitting here?

[Phyllis Smith] No! Go right ahead, sit down!

[Don Preston] Thanks. Anybody drinking this beer in here?

[Phyllis Smith] No, I don’t know what the bartender… he just left it there, I don’t know what’s going on

[Don Preston] My name is Biff Debris

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, hi! Sheba Flieschman.

[Don Preston] How d’you do?

[Phyllis Smith] So and uh… your name is Biff Debris

[Don Preston] Yeah

[Phyllis Smith] You know, funny thing, if we got married my name would be Sheba De Biff

[Don Preston] My name is Biff Debris, not Debris De Biff

[Phyllis Smith] Debris?

[Don Preston] Yeah

[Phyllis Smith] Biff Debris! Well, I’ll tell you something, I once knew someone whose name was Dubois. It… It sort of sounds like Debris, you know what I mean? Like, is that French, or what?

[Don Preston] Well, actually I’m part Mohawk and part Norwegian

[Phyllis Smith] Excuse me. Is the hamburger ready yet?

[Don Preston] What sign are you?

[Phyllis Smith] Uh… I’m Aquarius with Venus rising on my past

[Don Preston] Really?

[Phyllis Smith] Yeah. It’s really good sign because it’s the Aquarian age now, you know? And like, it’s all coming together. You know what I mean by coming together?

[Don Preston] Yeah

[Phyllis Smith] I think since I came from New York, you know, I’m really…

[Don Preston] Are you from New York?

[Phyllis Smith] Yeah, you can’t tell! Huh?

[Don Preston] No!

[Phyllis Smith] I tell you something, so it really means that I’m losing my accent, you know, because the other day I was talking to someone and they couldn’t guess either, well, I asked them, I said to them: “Where do you think I’m from?” And you know they said, they said: “New Jersey”, you know, so, and New Jersey accent is really completely different, you know? Like, it depends so, if you come from Patterson, it’s different from Trenton and Orange County, but you know, I say “Orange” like this: “Orange”, ‘cause that’s in California they say: “Orange”, you know?

[Don Preston] What’s the… What’s the matter with uh… Debris?

[Phyllis Smith] That’s one thing I stayed away from

[Don Preston] Alright, you’re free

[Phyllis Smith] I think that you can really be high on your own intellectual stratification

[Don Preston] Hamburgers

[Phyllis Smith] Don’t say hamburgers, it gets me so hot

[Don Preston] But you don’t know what gets me hot, you see

[Phyllis Smith] I know what gets you hot!

[Don Preston] No, no

[Phyllis Smith] I saw it in the pool hall

[Don Preston] You saw that?

[Phyllis Smith] Yeah!

[Don Preston] That isn’t what does it, you see. It really isn’t.

[Phyllis Smith] Well, well, what is it? You know, like if it’s not that, then what is it?

[Don Preston] Well…

[Phyllis Smith] Well, don’t be embarrassed! You can tell me, you know. Like I’m…

[Don Preston] Showers

[Phyllis Smith] Showers?

[Don Preston] Showers

[Phyllis Smith] Well, OK, you know, I can go see that, I can see, I can understand showers

[Don Preston] Not, not nude showers

[Phyllis Smith] What you mean not nude showers?

[Don Preston] It’s gotta be a special shower, you know

[Phyllis Smith] What kind of shower?

[Don Preston] With these special clothes on it

[Phyllis Smith] You mean, you wear clothes when you…?

[Don Preston] These clothes! These are the clothes.

[Phyllis Smith] These are the clothes that you…?

[Don Preston] Right here

[Phyllis Smith] There are clothes in there for me for the shower?

[Phyllis Smith] Say he devised this plan, this is how this clothes and the shower thing all came by, because I was too embarrassed to stand in the shower. First role, you know, I’m not gonna be standing there naked with the whole thing sticking out, so I figured: “OK, I’ll wear dungarees and a shirt”. And… And anyway to tell you the truth I think it’s sexier because, you see, like just a little outline… tiny little bit, you know, like, poinnnng!

[Phyllis Smith] I don’t understand it, but it’s like…

[Don Preston] I mean…

[Phyllis Smith] It’s your trip, man! You know? Like, it’s alright with me, you know? I don’t care.

[Don Preston] And this children’s belt with the little holes in it. Look at those pants!

[Phyllis Smith] Ooh, but what has this… do with the holes! I mean, you know, like I hope they fit up.

[Don Preston] It’ll be good

[Phyllis Smith] You know, like, OK, I’ll try, I don’t care, I’ll try anything!

[FZ] Hi, Phyllis, why don’t you want to take your clothes off with the monster?

[Phyllis Smith] Because I’m embarrassed to

[FZ] What’s there to be embarrassed about?

[Phyllis Smith] Well, I’ve never done that before, and I don’t wanna do it now!

[FZ] But why don’t you wanna do it?

[Phyllis Smith] I’d rather not. There’s no reason, I’d just rather not.

[FZ] But what’s the matter? You got an ugly body?

[Phyllis Smith] No, I have a great body. I just don’t wanna do it.

[FZ] But why don’t you wanna do it if you’ve got a great body? Don’t you wanna share it with the world?

[Phyllis Smith] No, I don’t wanna share it with the world

[Phyllis Smith] So I did it, and it was… I tell you, I was getting hot, see my shirt?

[Phyllis Smith] I’m ready! I got the shirt, I got the pants, and I got the belt with that little yellow holes, you know? And I’m hot!

[Don Preston] And I got the bun and the hamburger and the relish and the orange and I’ve got my clothes off and I’m hot!

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, come on!

[Don Preston] You know how many times we, guy… I go down to Mr. Pockets three times a week, trying to find somebody that’ll wear these clothes in the shower.

[Phyllis Smith] How do they look on me?

[Don Preston] Oh

[Phyllis Smith] You like it?

[Don Preston] They’re great, you know. I had those clothes in the refrigerator for about two months now.

[Phyllis Smith] Where is the hamburger? Just give me a bite. Mmh, it’s so great, you don’t meet guys…

[Don Preston] Oh, it’s disgusting

[Phyllis Smith] You don’t meet guys who get you off with hamburgers, I’m saying I’m really happy that mmmm…

[Don Preston] Oh, the two of us really make a great couple!

[Phyllis Smith] I know, me with my clean clothes and the hamburger and everything like that, well, you know, we can go places

[Don Preston] Yeah

[Phyllis Smith] You want me to wash your hair? While you, just hold the hamburger first, you know, while I wash your hair.

[Don Preston] Do you want me to wash it to you?

[Phyllis Smith] Well, I don’t know, I wasn’t planning on it, it’s alright, you can wash my back. Mm, so nice the shower.

[Don Preston] I can’t bear it

[Phyllis Smith] Especially, especially, especially if you…

[Don Preston] Some people are really weird

[Phyllis Smith] Pull it on my back, just a little bit, it won’t… it won’t hurt, just a little bit over there, this side, it’s terrific, with the hamburger

[Phyllis Smith] Hamburger meat. Oh.

[FZ] Wouldn’t that be better if you had your clothes off then you can uh… enforce him on your arms?

[Phyllis Smith] No, I don’t need my clothes off, I can get the gratification that I want just like this

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, doesn’t that feel good, oh, it’s so great. I’m so glad that I met you today.

[Don Preston] Mmmm

[Phyllis Smith] And this hamburger…

[Don Preston] Do you mind if I rub some of this in your hair?

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, I don’t mind, let me just take out that little thing here, mmm

[Don Preston] Oh boy

[Phyllis Smith] A little bit, wait, it’s… But I don’t know, do you have cream rinse here? This strip I won’t be able to…

[Don Preston] Cream rinse?

[Phyllis Smith] Yeah, ‘cause I…

[Don Preston] Eugh!

[Phyllis Smith] I won’t be… Let me see how it feels with the soap

[FZ] Wha— wha— what part gets you the hottest if you brush it with the hamburger?

[Phyllis Smith] Well, I think uh… what part!

[Don Preston] Oh, I love this with hamburgers under the clothes

[Don Preston] You’re getting hot, come on

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, am I hot, over this hamburger! Oh, I think of my uh…

[Don Preston] For a hundred dollars you’re getting hot

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, am I hot! I’m so hot! Hhh… I’m so hot from this hamburger, oh.

[FZ] Get hot!

[Phyllis Smith] I’m so hot!

[FZ] Under, under, ha ha ha ha!

[Don Preston] Undulate

[FZ] Look!

[Don Preston] Eww! It’s getting better.

[Phyllis Smith] Where’s the hamburger? Just those…

[FZ] Hamburgers with soap are good

[Phyllis Smith] Ha-a… let me take a little bite, mmm… delicious! Let me put it in here so I don’t lose it. I don’t wanna in case I wanna little piece after… Could you do my back?

[Don Preston] Oh yeah

[Phyllis Smith] Underneath the shirt, don’t be bashful, I… oh, I know it makes you hot, like if you keep…

[Don Preston] Yeah, I like the shirt better. I’ll wash the shirt.

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, let me take a little bit of the hamburger

[FZ] Ha ha!

[Phyllis Smith] You know, the last guy that I was with he just had ground chuck, you know what ground chuck tastes like in the shower, man

[FZ] Ha ha ha ha!

[Don Preston] Oh!

[Phyllis Smith] This is odd meat, where did you get this?

[FZ] Ha ha ha!

[Phyllis Smith] Just like the health food stuff, are you a health food person? You know, like…

[Don Preston] No, I am Uncle Meat!

[Phyllis Smith] You are Uncle Meat?

[Phyllis Smith] And because you’re the main man with the burgers…

[FZ] “And the burger’s my trip”

[Phyllis Smith] … and the burger’s my trip and is such a groove, I wanna show my appreciation and I wanna clean your bathroom… the cleanser…

[FZ] “I am going to the Hollywood Ranch…”

[Phyllis Smith] … I’m going to the Hollywood Ranch market and I’m gonna buy the cleanser

[Don Preston] And because you have worn the clothes…

[Phyllis Smith] Cleanser

[Don Preston] … that got me hot, the shirt…

[Phyllis Smith] Cleanser

[Don Preston] … the pants and the little brown belt, children’s belt with the holes in it…

[Phyllis Smith] Cleanser

[Don Preston] … I will…

[Phyllis Smith] Cleanser

[Don Preston] … accept your offer to go to the Hollywood Ranch market…

[Phyllis Smith] Cleanser

[Don Preston] … and get the cleanser and clean my bathroom

[Janet] He’s from that group “Cleanser”. He looks pretty kinky. Too bad we didn’t have our garters on.

[Janet & Lucy] EEEEEEEUH!

[Janet] Oh, what do you expect from work in this joint?

[Lucy] Ooh, Janet, he has a vibrator! Now, ooh… eeeuhh! Ha ha ha! Ah ah… aaaaaa AAAAH! Ooh wha—… ooh! Hhh… aaahhh.

[Don Preston] We’re coming to the beginning of a new era ▶ at the motel, where we have been working secretly on a new composition in the back room, in our secret chambers. ‘Cause everything is secret. We’re trying to get the secret karma change for the whole world, you see, like this whole karma thing, it’s really what’s causing all the problems, so we have to get a composition and I’m sure that it’s going to be a hit single, because everyone is going out and buying our new hit single, for this group that uh…

[FZ] You remember our other single “The bun”?

[Don Preston] Yeah, you remember our other single, “The bun”? See, this… this was our last composition.

[Aynsley Dunbar] Plugging it in

[Don Preston] And uh… it was pretty hard to play because uh… some of the members of the group couldn’t read music, you see? But we got it all straightened out and, some of them quit and everything but…

[Aynsley Dunbar?] A few holes in the […]

[Don Preston] Uh… With our new arrangement we really hope to do big things, you know? Like we hope to change every single person’s karma and that in turn will change and upgrade all the ecology problems, all the pollution and all the air and everything, you know? And this right here is the composition I was speaking of and uh… this is the guitar part, this is the vocal, this is the bass part, and this little section over here could be for the dancer, but she keeps quitting all the time so we don’t really know uh… if she’s gonna be in it. If she’s not, we’ll just take it out like that. Now, it’s very difficult to compose this type of thing, because like, the slightest movement that you can make of one single article could define whether it’s underground or real commercial, see? If we put the sock over here it’s more commercial than if it were over here, then it’s real underground, you understand? So we take you now to the motel, where the group is deep in… just deep.

[Jim Sherwood] Straightest member is the writer, you know what I…

[Don Preston] Hey, listen you guys, I would like just…

[Meredith Monk] These guys can work together

[Don Preston] … talk about the arrangement here

[Aynsley Dunbar] How about that new drum solo you just worked out?

[Don Preston] I’ve got a new composition

[Meredith Monk] It’s rhythmic, huh?

[Jim Sherwood] Now, that’s beautiful

[Don Preston] Listen… Silence, fools! SILENCE, FOOLS! DON’T YOU BELIEVE IN PROGRESS? ▶

[Carl Zappa] I’m using the chicken to measure it

[FZ?] Take that progress and stick it under a rock!

[Carl Zappa] I’m using the chicken to measure it. I’m using the chicken to measure it. I’m using the chicken to measure it. I’m using the chicken to measure it. I’m using the chicken to measure it. I’m using the chicken to measure it. I’m using the chicken to measure it.

[FZ] What are you doing with the chicken?

[Carl Zappa] I’m using the chicken to measure it

[FZ] What are you doing with the chicken?

[Carl Zappa] I’m using the chicken to measure it

[Jim Sherwood] Outta site! That’s outta site!

[Meredith Monk] That’s beautiful!

[FZ] What are you doing with the chicken?

[Carl Zappa] I’m using…

[Don Preston] That’s what we need for our new song

[Meredith Monk] That was a good composition!

[Jim Sherwood] We got it!

[Aynsley Dunbar] Can you write one like that then?

[Don Preston] I did! Well…

[Ray Collins?] You would? I mean…

[Don Preston] At last night, that’s…

[Ray Collins] That’s when he starts in with the guitar…

[Don Preston] Now look…

[Ray Collins] … then he comes in with his guitar solo?

[Don Preston] You guys, do you see this over here?

[Ray Collins] Why does he have this?

[Don Preston] Can you see this over here? This is the new composition that we’re going to make a hit single with.

[Aynsley Dunbar] What’s it called, “Juncture”?

[Don Preston] No

[Ray Collins] “Juncture”

[Aynsley Dunbar] What’s it called?

[Carl Zappa] I’m using the chicken to measure it

[FZ] It’s called “We’re using the chicken to measure it”

[Carl Zappa] I’m using the chicken to measure it

[Don Preston] Right: “We’re using the chicken to measure it”. Well, I couldn’t get a chicken, I… all I got was…

[Jim Sherwood] That’s a weird title. Ray’s got a chicken.

[Aynsley Dunbar] Yeah!

[Jim Sherwood] You can use Ray’s chicken to measure it

[Don Preston] But uh…

[FZ] No, no, that’s part of the concept. You’re using the chicken to measure the bitchin’!

[Aynsley Dunbar] It’s what I choose

[Don Preston] Oh, I see, yeah, are we using the chicken to measure it?

[Jim Sherwood] Or drumming?

[Don Preston] I’ll show you, this is…

[Ray Collins] How about a sock?

[Jim Sherwood] I thought it was cooler

[Don Preston] … this is the guitar part, right here

[Jim Sherwood] Then let me see

[Aynsley Dunbar] Pull her

[Jim Sherwood] It’s that what I play? That’s my part.

[Don Preston] That’s your part

[Jim Sherwood] Oh, that A…

[Don Preston] And this is a new concept

[Jim Sherwood] I can’t learn that by tomorrow, man, there’s no way

[Don Preston] Tonight

[Jim Sherwood] I can’t learn it tonight!

[Don Preston] Listen, I got the time booked…

[Jim Sherwood] I can’t even…

[Aynsley Dunbar] Tonight? OW!

[Don Preston] … at the Hollywood Ranch market tonight, man!

[Meredith Monk] That’s pretty heavy, man

[Aynsley Dunbar] But tonight?

[Meredith Monk] That’s pretty heavy

[Jim Sherwood] My strings are flat, my pickups are shot, do Herbie wouldn’t give us an advance so I can buy some new strings and an amp?

[Don Preston] Listen, I’ll take care of everything

[Don Preston] You see, Countess, the problem is uh… it’s very hard to talk about but, the guys need equipment, you know, like, he needs batteries and uh… and… and uh… needs strings for his guitar, you know? And… And some of the electronic equipment needs boosting and uh… we have a good prog and everything, you know? I just wanted to find out if we could get any… awr… nng… gnn… Do you have a pencil and a paper? Uh-huh, thanks.

[Francesca Fisher] Royalties?

[Don Preston] GNG! MM nnnngrg GGL! Sorry, would you mind not using that word? It’s a…

[Francesca Fisher] Who cares about royalties?

[Don Preston] Grrah!

[Francesca Fisher] Look, I’ve seen everybody around, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Arthur Brown, and his fire on his head. Oh, man, I’ve never got so hot as long… I’ve ever got so hot until I started to… to use the chicken head to measure it with it.

[Guy from Alabama] We must say it in Alabama language, man, I can’t understand

[Another guy from Alabama] Playing that kind of music and eating meat, you’ll never…

[Aynsley Dunbar] I say… I say…

[Guy from Alabama] […]

[Aynsley Dunbar] I say, old boy, you speak English?

[Guy from Alabama] Hey man, you got any peas or beans or anything like that?

[Don Preston] You have to admit, this is different

[Jim Sherwood] Oh, I hate… That’s a drum, that’s gotta be a drum

[Don Preston] I mean… I know what it’s like, to me the idea of being commercial is doing something different

[Meredith Monk] Bet that one’s a heavy one

[Carl Zappa] The way they feed…

[Don Preston] You know? Something people can… can…

[Carl Zappa] WAH!

[Don Preston] It’s not the same old thing

[Aynsley Dunbar] Hey, but that… that isn’t a…

[Meredith Monk] Have to practice…

[Aynsley Dunbar] No!

[Carl Zappa] WAH!

[Don Preston] NO!

[Jim Sherwood] Look out!

[Ray Collins] Oh

[Don Preston] That’s it, Ray

[Jim Sherwood] Chicken’s in the…

[Don Preston] Now, use the chicken to measure it

[Jim Sherwood] Chicken’s in the…

[Aynsley Dunbar] Biff, man, how does that fit into the part, though, heavy like that

[Meredith Monk] And where does that fit into that… my part there?

[Don Preston] This is the music

[Meredith Monk] Where? Where?

[Don Preston] This, the whole thing is the music

[Meredith Monk] Ah, but how does that one fit into all…

[Aynsley Dunbar] But there’s no head, man

[Meredith Monk] But how does that fit into all that?

[Aynsley Dunbar] Oh yeah, there’s…

[Ray Collins] Are you using a chicken to measure it?

[Meredith Monk] What’s the concept of this…

[Jim Sherwood] There’s no way we can play it

[Meredith Monk] What’s the concept of this number?

[Don Preston] Look, look…

[Jim Sherwood] Not by tonight, man! It can’t be done.

[Aynsley Dunbar] Let me… Anyway, man, I’m going out tonight, you know, I’ve got a few chicks to meet

[Jim Sherwood] I’m going to hear the Fudge

[Don Preston] You guys, if you wanna make a hit single and I mean, a hit single…

[Aynsley Dunbar] Yeah, but what I’m saying is, how would you pay me? I just wanna know.

[Don Preston] Well, you’ll get royalties

[Jim Sherwood] You gotta get some royalties, man!

[Aynsley Dunbar] Royalties?

[Don Preston] Listen, you can’t…

[Ray Collins] A monster!

[Phyllis Smith] I’m wet… hamburger…

[Meredith Monk] This is turning too confusing, I just can’t understand what all this is about, it’s so confusing!

[Phyllis Smith] My monster!

[Don Preston] WARRRGH!

[Phyllis Smith] My monster! I’m ready! I got the pants, I got the shirt, I got the belt with the little yellow holes!

[Phyllis Smith] I can’t get enough of that stuff, mmm!

[FZ] We’re coming to the beginning of a new era at the motel

[Phyllis Smith] Look at this over there, look… mmm mm

[Don Preston] We’re coming to the beginning of a new era at the motel, we have been working secretly…

[Phyllis Smith] Obviously still… still the best

[Don Preston] On a new composition in the back room…

[Phyllis Smith] I love when he always did that…

[Don Preston] In our secret chambers

[Phyllis Smith] Then changed into… I remember that…

[Don Preston] ‘Cause everything is secret

[Phyllis Smith] For twelve year he’s still working on the same song, I don’t know what I’m gonna do

[Don Preston] We’re trying to get the secret karma change for the whole world

[Phyllis Smith] Still kinda get that “The bun” thing. I gotta stop this, it’s not good anymore.

[Don Preston] You see, like this whole karma thing, it’s really what’s causing all the problems

[Phyllis Smith] Because after all we’ve got kids now

[Don Preston] So we have to get a composition

[Phyllis Smith] And we can’t… he can’t do this anymore, it’s another whole life

[Don Preston] And, I’m sure that it’s going to be a hit single

[Phyllis Smith] But, I can’t help it, I mean he’s irresistible. The guy is irresistible.

[Don Preston] Because everyone is going out and buying our new hit single, for this group that uh…

[Phyllis Smith] Look at that face, over there

[FZ] You remember our other single “The bun”?

[Don Preston] Yeah, you rem—

[Phyllis Smith] Look at that, right that, right there… mmm

[Don Preston] Our other single, “The bun”? See, this… this was our last composition.

[Phyllis Smith] Oh God! Oh, I remember that too… yeah.

[Don Preston] And uh… it was pretty hard to play because uh…

[Phyllis Smith] Look at this, when he did that at the fair…

[Don Preston] Some of the members of the group couldn’t read music, you see?

[Phyllis Smith] No… it’s better, I’ll tell you something…

[Don Preston] But we got it all straightened out

[Phyllis Smith] I don’t know, I have to think about this, ‘cause I gotta tell him. Ah! I’ll go back! I can’t be bother ‘cause my mind it’s too… it’s too crazy, it’s going… it’s driving me nuts already, I have to think about work, I have to think about him, I have to think about…

[Bill Nugent] Maybe I oughta face it, after twelve years “The bun” just isn’t a hit. Maybe I’m approaching it wrong. Look at him, a musician, a natural musician. His mother said he was a serious little boy. Liked to pull down the shades before helping her with the dishes.

[Massimo Bassoli] And that’s why it didn’t sell. Look at this…

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, look at that! I remember… Let me stop that and see how the foam was coming out of his mouth, and the way the lips, the lips, so beautiful and the hamburger…

[Massimo Bassoli] Try to do something like that

[Bill Nugent] Like that?

[Massimo Bassoli] Maledetto figlio di puttana

[FZ] He’s on television set

[Massimo Bassoli] E non cagarmi il cazzo

[Bill Nugent] A non cacarmil catzo

[Massimo Bassoli] ‘Cause I have a big bunch of minchia!

[Bill Nugent] A big bunch of minchia!

[Phyllis Smith] It’s great you’re learning Italian, I love… that’s what I want! More, a little culture, it’s enough already with “The bun”!

[Bill Nugent] I had… I had to change it. It wasn’t right.

[Massimo Bassoli] These fucking things didn’t work, I don’t know why. Maybe… Can you see all these little points, white points, on these fucking things? You have to know that…

[Bill Nugent] Can you see?

[Massimo Bassoli] … all this stuff…

[Bill Nugent] Everybody’s using the chicken to measure it with nowadays, even my kids!

[Massimo Bassoli] … come from my nose, and maybe people didn’t like it…

[Bill Nugent] No more the sock…

[Massimo Bassoli] … and I just don’t know why…

[Bill Nugent] … but “The bun”, the placement of “The bun”. It has seeds. It’s different.

[Massimo Bassoli] … I just can’t imagine why they didn’t like these balls that come from my nose, you know? This way, tshh! And I spent a lot of years of my life to do something like that, these fucking things, and it didn’t work. What can I say?

[Guy from Alabama] Far fucking out! Far fucking out!

[Linda Ronstadt] Hee hee hee hee

[Rodney Bingenheimer] Ah! I can dig it!

[Guy from Alabama] DONG! DONG! I mean dong, that’s what your minchia is!

[Aynsley Dunbar] Your which?

[Guy from Alabama] A minchia!

[Aynsley Dunbar] You mean your dick?

[Guy from Alabama] You put your minchia in the stinky-a

[Massimo Bassoli] And you know why? ‘Cause I have a big bunch of dick!

Tengo una minchia tanta

And this part of the lesson, I’m sorry, but you can’t learn, ‘cause Mother Nature didn’t make you Italian

2. Tengo na minchia tanta [CD bonus track]

[Massimo Bassoli] Ah, tengo ‘na minchia tanta

Tengo ‘na minchia accussì

Devi usare un pollo

Se me la vuoi tastar

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

Tengo ‘na minchia accussì

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

Tengo ‘na minchia accussì

Devi usare un pollo

Se me la vuoi misurar

Devi usare un pollo

Se me la vuoi tastar

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

Tengo ‘na minchia accussì

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

Tengo ‘na minchia accussì

Guarda che se la mangia

E mentre se la sta a pappa’

Chiedimi che cosa fa

Se la sta a succhia’

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

Tengo ‘na minchia accussì

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

Tengo ‘na minchia…

Devi usare un pollo

Devi usare… se la vuoi misurar

Devi usare un pollo

Se me la vuoi tastar

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

[Phyllis Smith] That Tishman…

Tengo ‘na minchia accussì

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

[Phyllis Smith] Till this day I don’t know what he’s talking about!

Tengo ‘na minchia da tastar

Mmmmm

Come on, baby

Come on, baby, suck my fire!

Oh yeah!

Guarda che se la mangia

Tengo ‘na minchia accussì

Guarda che se la mangia

Mentre se la sta a pappa’

Chiedimi che cosa fa

Ma è chiaro! Se la sta a succhia’!

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

Tengo ‘na minchia accussì

Guarda che se la mangia

Guarda che se la mangia e se la sta a succhia’

Darling

Look at your sister

Do something like that, thanks

Devi usare un pollo

Devi usarlo per misurar

[Phyllis Smith] Frank!

[Aynsley Dunbar] This is the Mothers of Invention movie!

[Phyllis Smith] But…

Così me la potrai succhiar

You both suck in stereo

Jesus!

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

Tengo ‘na minchia accussì

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

Tengo ‘na minchia…

Tengo ‘na minchia tanta

3. Uncle Meat film excerpt - Part 2 [CD bonus track]

[Phyllis Smith] I used to watch him eat, and while he was eating I would talk to him, and while he was eating I would ask him what he was doing, and all he would say was: “I’m using the chicken to measure it”. Till this day I still don’t know what he was talking about! That Minnesota Tishman, he was some guy, but I still never understood what he meant. The chicken to measure it, I don’t know, probably some secret thing.

[Phyllis Smith] “I’m getting hot. You’re really good at those dials, baby. You’re the most manipulating person I’ve ever seen. What’s he eating? Is he turning into a monster? Frank: but you’re just making things out of it. Don: put it in your mouth then your eyes. Frank: you’re getting hot, come on! The last that…”. I don’t like this page, it’s not so funny.

[FZ] What’s the difference?

[Phyllis Smith] I don’t like this page, it’s not so funny. “Oh, this gets me hot! Oh, this gets me hot!” Well, get hot, I can’t get hot over this! Get hot over the hamburger, I can’t get it! “You’re getting hot, oh, am I hot over this hamburger! Think am I hot, for a hundred dollars you’re getting hot, oh, am I hot, I’m so hot, I’m so hot from this hamburger, I’m hot”

[Phyllis Smith] Well, I’ll just continue on with my work, I can’t be thinking about such things, gets me too confused. I think I need a shower, I’m tired, I’m hot, the room air-conditioning is not working. If you don’t pay the bills, how does the air-conditioning gonna work? I’m going.

[Massimo Bassoli] And now, dear friends, we are going to translate: “This is my left hand”

[Phyllis Smith] This is…

[Meredith Monk] Violence!

[Bill Nugent] This is my left hand, non?

[Meredith Monk] Violence! Ooh, I just… ooh!

[Guy from Alabama] You have an orgasm?

[Aynsley Dunbar] No, but it just feels good!

[Guy from Alabama] Can I watch?

[Don Preston] That’s what we need, progress!

[Aynsley Dunbar] Actually I think that’s uh… that’s cool

[Guy from Alabama] Get the girl here in the red […]

[Aynsley Dunbar] Yeah

[Massimo Bassoli] Repeat after me:

“Questa è la mia mano destra”

[Bill Nugent] “Questa è mia mano destra”

[Don Preston] Progress!

[Phyllis Smith] Where’s the prostate gland?

[Massimo Bassoli] Look out!

[Don Preston] Progress is our most important product

[Massimo Bassoli] Guardalo che mangia! E mentre sta mangiando, parlami mentre mangia, e chiedimi cosa sta facendo.

[Bill Nugent] Parle mi

[Massimo Bassoli] Che cosa sta facendo? Sta mangiando. Adesso chiedimi cosa sta facendo. Sta mangiando.

[Bill Nugent] Guarda sta facendo!

[Massimo Bassoli] Ma non lo posso fare

[Bill Nugent] Sta mangiando!

[Massimo Bassoli] Me ne devo andare

[Bill Nugent] Me ne debo andare

[Massimo Bassoli] Devo tornare

[Bill Nugent] Dere tocnare

[Massimo Bassoli] Era un senatore a trentasette anni

[Bill Nugent] Era un senatore de setreste año

[Guy from Alabama] What type of band do you play in?

[Aynsley Dunbar] I play in a blues band

[Guy from Alabama] Blues band, so do I!

[Aynsley Dunbar] Blues

[Guy from Alabama] Blues!

[Aynsley Dunbar] Blues avant-garde though, you know?

[Guy from Alabama] Yeah, I know what you mean

[Massimo Bassoli] And this is my last single

[Phyllis Smith] Oh, what is he doing? You still carrying on with that song? It’s the same thing? I can’t… I can’t do it anymore. I’m making this louder so I don’t have to hear about him. Forget the past!

[Don Preston] I’m sure that it’s going to be a hit single

[Phyllis Smith] We’re coming to the beginning of a new era ▶, wherein the development of the inner self… but you, what do you do? You watch television and you play with “The bun”, driving me crazy. Leave me alone.

[Bill Nugent] But this is twelve years later

[Phyllis Smith] I know

[Bill Nugent] Have a new “Bun”

[Phyllis Smith] I know

[Bill Nugent] A better “Bun”

[Phyllis Smith] What kind of new “Bun”? You…

[Bill Nugent] A brown “Bun”

[Phyllis Smith] Every year you tell me it’s a new “Bun”, I’m tired of this. I’m gonna… I’m gonna give it all up, I’m gonna go back to New York, I’ve had it with you already. Finish! I can’t. No, no, no, no. Go! Can you show me?

[FZ] I wanna do another take of the same situation from the other side

[Carl Zappa] Let me go on the other side

[FZ] And Mr. Tishman, it’s… you’ve gotta find…

[Phyllis Smith] When I remember this…

[FZ] Yeah

[Carl Zappa] Let me just see uh… “Bun”

[FZ] Minnesota Tishman

[Phyllis Smith] Right here

[Carl Zappa] Uh… Give me the… Give me first…

[Phyllis Smith] I remember that guy

[FZ] Isn’t he handsome?

[Phyllis Smith] Yeah

[FZ] He was using the chicken to measure it

[Haskell Wexler] Can I stop now, Frank?

[FZ] Sure

[Haskell Wexler] OK, cut the cam

4. King Kong itself (as played by the Mothers in a studio)

[Instrumental]

5. King Kong (its magnificence as interpreted by Dom DeWild)

[Instrumental]

6. King Kong (as Motorhead explains it)

[Instrumental]

7. King Kong (the Gardner Varieties)

[Instrumental]

8. King Kong (as played by 3 deranged Good Humor Trucks)

[Instrumental]

9. King Kong (live on a flat bed diesel in the middle of a race track at a Miami Pop Festival… the Underwood ramifications)

[Instrumental]

English lyrics from site Information Is Not Knowledge.