[FZ] Hello, boys and girls. Now, during this part of our program…
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[Guy in the audience] Louder! We can’t hear you.
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[FZ] DURING THIS PART OF OUR PROGRAM, we are going to perform for you various chamber music pieces… and also some zany Mothers of Invention bullshit.
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You remember the Mothers of Invention, that zany group?
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We have the assistance of a famous pop-star to help us tonight during our renowned ballet sequence.
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AND LATER ON IN THE PROGRAM, we’re going to have our road manager, Dick Barber, come out and strangle a rubber chicken and make some funny noises for ya. And, as if that weren’t enough, we’re going to do our version of the birth of Frankenstein, live on stage, including a spark generator and a smoke bomb and a convulsing monster, which we construct out of Motorhead. And… let’s see, what else are we gonna do?
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That’s about it.
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[FZ] OK, now, the entertaining part of this section
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While the well-disciplined ▶ Ian Underwood plays selected fragments from Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s ♫ “Piano sonata in B-flat” and we make electric noises, some members of our rocking teen combo will hop around on stage in a grotesque parody of the art of ballet dancing, which some of you may find amusing.
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[Instrumental]
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Hey, double path!
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Double path
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You get a double?
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Oh, you have to carry him
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Carry him?
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You have to carry him
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Come on over, you told to her, I mean…
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He looks fat!
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God, oh m’ God!
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Where’s the chicken?
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Bock! Bock! BE-REHH!
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Bock! BE-REHH!
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ACTION!
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Bock bock BE-REHH!
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Boy, do I hate chickens!
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Bock bock BE-REHH
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Bock bock BE… SNORK
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SNORK SNORK
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[FZ] Put him in the middle of the stage and we can all dance around him and bring him back to life
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[Kanzus J. Kanzus] Will he come out of it?
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[Roy Estrada?] Yes
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[Jimmy Carl Black] Far out!
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He’s looking better, Kanzus
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[Kanzus J. Kanzus] Anybody got a smoke for him?
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[Bunk Gardner] I think she’s pregnant, right?
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[Kanzus J. Kanzus] Safe to say is going to deliver us something. Build a fish, a biological masterpiece.
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[FZ] During this part of our extremely zany ballet, Don Preston disguised as a mad scientist will convert the unwilling Motorhead Sherwood into a walking zombie.
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Bock… bock bock… bock… BOCK!
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[Instrumental]
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He came on a Saturday afternoon from Manchester, and said to meet him at the railway station. He was an unusually large man that no… he also wore a black jacket and pin-striped trousers and carried a Gladstone bag.
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HANDS UP!
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Although he did call […] he stopped […]. In fact, though you would expect an […] he was a sensitive man, who could only sleep when […] pillows had been forced into one pillowcase. My father was Wesleyan chapel steward and engaged him every second year to recite […] people who had bought programs. If you called them tickets, they became liable to excise. My father was a supporter of Wick Tyler. This minstrel used to deliver pocket versions of the classic books, such as “Silas Marner” and “The Old Curiosity Shop”.
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[Instrumental]
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[FZ] You have just heard a make-believe record scratch. End side one.
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[Instrumental]
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[FZ] Thank you. Steve, it’s a good place for a reel change.
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OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD, OH OH DEAR
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LITTLE RIGHT THERE, LITTLE RIGHT THERE, OH, A LITTLE RIGHT THERE!
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RIGHT THERE, OH-OH!
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RIGHT THERE, OH! AH! AH! AH-H-H-H!
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MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE
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MORE, MORE, MORE, OH OH, MORE, MORE
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MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE
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MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE, OH… OH GOD!
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MORE, MORE, MO-MO-MO-MO-MORE, MO-MO-MORE!
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GETTIN’ OFF, GETTIN’ OFF!
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BWAH-HAH-HA-HAH, GETTIN’ OFF, GETTIN’ OFF!
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BWAH-HAH-HA-HAH, GETTIN’ OFF, GETTIN’ OFF!
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BWOH-HOH-HA-HAH, MORE!
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OH GOD, GIMME […], OH MORE, MORE, MORE
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OH GOD, SO GOOD!
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TOUCH IT! TOUCH IT! TOUCH IT! TOUCH IT!
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SKWEEZIT! SKWEEZIT!
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