(Front of CD of 1991) With photo copyrighted by Bruce Malone (Front of CD of 1991) Without photo copyrighted by Bruce Malone (Front of CD of 1995) Art by Cal Schenkel (Inside of CD of 1995) Art by Cal Schenkel

Live throughout 1988 World Tour

Linked material:

The best band you never heard in your life

 

Disc 1
  1 Heavy duty Judy
  2 Ring of fire [June Carter Cash, Merle Kilgore]
  3 Cosmik debris
  4 Find her finer
  5 Who needs the Peace Corps?
  6 I left my heart in San Francisco [Douglass Cross, George C. Cory Jr.]
  7 Zomby woof
  8 Bolero [Maurice Ravel]
  9 Zoot allures
10 Mr. Green Genes
11 Florentine Pogen
12 Andy
13 Inca roads
14 Sofa #1

 

Disc 2
  1 Purple haze [Jimi Hendrix]
  2 Sunshine of your love [Eric Clapton, Jack Bruce, Pete Brown]
  3 Let’s move to Cleveland
  4 When Irish eyes are smiling [Chauncey Olcott, Ernest Ball, George Graff Jr.]
  5 “Godfather Part II” theme [Nino Rota]
  6 A few moments with Brother A. West [Andrew West, Frank Zappa]
  7 The torture never stops - Part 1
  8 Theme from “Bonanza” [Jay Livingston, Ray Evans]
  9 Lonesome cowboy Burt (Swaggart version)
10 The torture never stops - Part 2
11 More trouble every day (Swaggart version)
12 Penguin in bondage (Swaggart version)
13 The Eric Dolphy memorial barbecue
14 Stairway to heaven [John Bonham, Jimmy Page, Robert Plant]

 

All compositions by Frank Zappa, except as noted above.


Album notes by FZ
The 1988 road band self-destructed before U.S. audiences in the South, Midwest and West could hear it perform. It was, however, heard and appreciated by East Coast and European audiences during its brief existence (four months of rehearsal in 1987/88, followed by a tour, February through June 1988), and it is from those performances that this compilation has been made.
The collection features big-band arrangements of concert favorites and obscure album cuts, along with deranged versions of cover tunes and a few premiere recordings.
In a world where most of the “big groups” go on stage and pretend to sing and play, we proudly present this quaint little audio artifact. Yes, once upon a time, live musicians actually sang and played this. All material contained herein is 100% live, and there are no overdubs of any kind.

Disc 1

1. Heavy duty Judy


[Instrumental]
 
[FZ] Hello! Boy, got y’all JAMMED in here, don’t dey? What’s that say? “Thanks for coming, what’s the secret word for tonight? Your buddies Dirk, Tom and Tommy”. OK, alright, guys, you’re looking for another secret word? The secret word for tonight is “RING OF FIRE”! Let me try an’ explain this to you, folks: this afternoon at the hotel I was introduced for the first time to Johnny Cash, and Johnny was going to come to the concert tonight, and he was going to sing with us. Unfortunately his wife got sick so he can’t come tonight, BUT this afternoon we actually learned how to play a reggae version of “Ring of fire” and we’ve been trying to decide whether or not we oughta play it even if Johnny’s not gonna sing it. Now, maybe you can help us t’decide. How many people would like to hear “Ring of fire” if Johnny is not going to sing it?
 
How many people DON’T want to hear “Ring of fire”?
 
I think most people want to hear “Ring of fire”. OK, here it comes, folks.

2. Ring of fire


Love is a burning thing
That’s right
And it leaves a fiery ring
That’s a firey ring
I was captured by pure desire
That’s right
I fell into a ring of fire
Ow! Ow! Ow!
 
I fell into a burning ring of fire
I fell down, down, down
And the flames licked up higher
And it burns, burns, burns
That ring of fire
Ow!
That ring of fire
“It’s hot”
 
Love
“It’s hot”
Is a burning thing
(That’s right, it’s the same verse again)
And it makes a fiery ring
(It’s one way of learning English)
 
[Senator Hawkins] Pyromania
 
I was captured by pure desire
Pure desire
I fell into that burning ring of fire
Ow! Ow! Ow!
 
I fell into that burning ring of fire
(Johnny’ll never know what he missed)
I fell down, down, down
And those flames licked up higher
And it burns, burns, burns
That ring of fire
That ring of fire
That ring of fire
That ring of fire
That ring of fire

3. Cosmik debris


[FZ] The mystery man came over
An’ he said: “I’m outasite
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach Nervonna t’nite
 

If I was ready, willing an’ able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote his attention to me
But I said:
 
Look here, brother, who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?
Now, who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris, anyhow?
Look here, brother, don’t you waste your time on me”
 
The mystery man got nervous
An’ he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
An’ he whipped out a shaving kit
 
Now, I thought it was a razor
An’ a can of foamin’ goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin’ his box won’t do
 
With the oil of Hi-yo, Silver

An’ the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said: “You might not believe this, little fella, but it’ll cure that ring of fire for you too!”
An’ I said:
 
Look here, brother, who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?
Now, what kind of a geroo are you anyway?
Look here, brother, don’t you waste your time on me”
 
[Instrumental]
 
“I’ve got troubles of my own” I said
“An’ you can’t help me out
So take your meditations an’ your preparations
An’ cram it up yer snout”
 
“BUT I GOT A RING OF FIRE!”
He said, an’… an’ held it on up to the light
So I snatched it all away from him
“It’s hot”
An’ then told him how I’ll wipe it right
 
I wrapped a newspaper ‘round my head
So I’d look like I was Deep
I said some mumbo jumbos then
I told him he was goin’ to sleep
 
I robbed his rings an’ his pocket watch
An’ everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn’t even make a sound
 
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around
I said: “The price of meat has just gone up
An’ yo’ ring of fire have just gone down…”
 
Look here, Johnny, who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?
Now, exactly what kind of a ring of fire are we talking about here tonight?
Don’t you know? You could get better results with Anusol
So don’t you waste your time on me
Don’t Sri Chin don’t Sri Chinmoy on me
Oh Annie, oh Annie, oh An-yoo-sol!

4. Find her finer


[FZ] Find her finer, sneak up behind her
Wrapped like a mummy till you finally unwind her
Find her blinder, see who designed her
Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
 
If you should see a girl on the street
Now, maybe you might think she is sweet
But if you want a piece of the meat
Now, really, what should you do?
Rat-tat-tat-tat ta-da
 
Don’t never let her know you are smart
The universe is nowhere to start
You gotta play it straight from the heart
Or she’ll go doody on you
That’s why you gotta…
 
Find her finer, sneak up behind her

Wrapped like a mud shark till you finally unwind her
Find her blinder, see who designed her
Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
 
Now, maybe you might think I am rude
And maybe you might think that mud shark is crude
And maybe this approach I have spewed
Is not the one for you
Rat-tat-tat-tat ta-da
 
But believe me later on you’ll gonna find
As you impress her with your mind
That you would just be left behind
For a wiser fool
So you might as well…
 
Find her finer, sneak up behind her
Wrapped like a mummy till you finally unwind her
Find her blinder, see who designed her
Act like a dummy till you finally grind her
 
Find her finer, sneak up behind her
Wrapped like a mummy till you finally unwind her
Find her blinder, see who designed her
Act like a dummy till you finally grind her

5. Who needs the Peace Corps?


[Mike Keneally] What’s there to live for?
Who needs the Peace Corps?
Think I’ll just drop out
I’ll go to Frisco, buy a wig & sleep on Owsley’s floor
 
Walked past the wig store
Danced at the Fillmore
I’m completely stoned
I’m hippy & I’m trippy, I’m a gypsy on my own
I’ll stay a week & get the crabs & take a bus back home
I’m really just a phony but forgive me ‘cause I’m stoned
 
[FZ] Every town must have a place where phony hippies meet
(Hey, dude!)
Psychedelic dungeons popping up on every street
GO TO SAN FRANCISCO!
 
How I love ya, how I love ya, how I love ya, how I love ya, Frisco!

How I love ya, how I love ya, how I love ya, how I love ya, oh, my hair is getting good in the back!
 
Every town must have a place where phony hippies meet
(Hey, dude!)
Psychedelic dungeons popping up on every street
GO TO SAN FRANCISCO!
(Oh, jump, Johnny!)
 
[Mike Keneally] Hotcha!
 
First I’ll buy some beads
And then perhaps a leather band to go around my head
Some feathers and bells
And a book of Indian lore
I will ask the Chamber Of Commerce how to get to Haight Street and smoke an awful lot of dope
I will wander around barefoot
You know, I’ll have a psychedelic gleam in my eye at all times
I will love everyone
I will love the police as they kick the shit out of me on the street
(Freeze, hippy!)
I will sleep
(Yes?)
I will go to a house, that’s… that’s what I will do, I will go to a house
Where there’s a rock & roll band because the groups all live together
(HEEEERE’S JOHNNY!)
Ha ha ha ha! I will stay… I will join a rock & roll and I’ll be their road manager
And I’ll stay there with them and I will get the crabs but I won’t care
Because…

6. I left my heart in San Francisco


I left my heart way down in San Francisco
 
One more time for our men in uniform
 
Moo moo moo moo
Moo-moo moo-moo-moo
Me mee-nee mee-nee moo-moo
 
Later that night…

7. Zomby woof


Three hundred years ago
Ay!
I thought I might get some sleep
I stretched myself out onna antique bed

An’ my spirit did a midnite creep
 
You know I’ll never sleep no more
 
It seem to me that it just ain’t wise
Didja ever wake up in the mornin’
With a zomby woof behind your eyes?
Ay!
 
I am the zomby woof
I’m that creature all the ladies been talkin’ about
I am the zomby woof
They all seek for shelter when I come chargin’ out
 
I’m tellin’ you all the zomby troof
Here I’m is, the zomby woof
Tellin’ you all the zomby troof
Here I’m is…
 
Reety-awrighty, he da zomby woof
 
Reety-awrighty, he da zomby woof
 
They said awreety
An’ they was awrighty
An’ I was a zomby for you, little lady…
 
[Instrumental]
 
I got a great big pointed fang
Which is my zomby toof
My right foot’s bigger than my other one is
Like a reg’lar Buxton hoof
 
If I raid your dormitorium
Don’t try to remain aloof…
I might snatch you up screamin’ through the window all nekkid
An’ do it to you up on the roof, don’t mess with the zomby woof
 
I am about as evil as a boogie man can be!
 
Tellin’ you all the zomby troof
Here I’m is, the zomby woof
Tellin’ you all the zomby troof
Here I’m is, the zomby woof

8. Bolero


[Instrumental]

9. Zoot allures


[Instrumental]

10. Mr. Green Genes


Eat your greens, don’t forget your beans & celery

Don’t forget to bring your fake I.D.
Eat a bunch of these magnificent
With sauerkraut
Sauerkraut
 
Eat a grape, a fig, a crumpet too…
You’ll pump ‘em right through
Doo-wee-ooo
 
[Instrumental]
 
Eat your shoes, don’t forget the strings and sox
You can eat the box you bought ‘em in
Even eat the truck that brought ‘em in
Garbage truck
Mmmmmmmmmmmmouldy
Garbage truck
Eat the truck & driver and his gloves
Nutritiousness!
Deliciousness!
Worthlessness!
 
One more soup for the world now!
 
[Instrumental]
 

Isn’t it romantic?

11. Florentine Pogen


[Instrumental]
 
Ah-oh-oh-oh ah-oh-oh-oh ah-oh-oh-oh oh-oh
 
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Sou-oup
Sou-ou-oup
La-la la-la la-la la-la
Lo-la lo-la lo-la
 
She was the daughter of a wealthy Florentine Pogen
Sou-oup
Read ‘em an’ weep” was her adjustable slogan
 
She was a debutante daisy with a color-note organ
Deep in the street she drove a ‘59 Morgan
 
WOO-LAH!
 
That’s the kinda step she takes when her hot breaks, hot brakes
That’s the kinda sound she makes (Ooh, let me go) when her crab cakes
(Arf arf arf)
 
She didn’t like it when her fan belt shrunk & got shorter
(Ointment)
Battery leaks could nearly cost her a quarter
 
She didn’t want to go home an’ watch the pestle go mortar
Later she speaks on how Perellis might court her
 
Na-na-na na-na-hoo
Na-na-na na-na-hoo
Na-na-na na-na-soup
Na-na-na na-na-soup
 
She was the daughter (ah-ah-ahhh) of a wealthy Florentine Pogen
Po-oh
Wo-oh-oh
Po-oh
Wo-oh-oh
Po-oh
Wo-oh-oh
Ga-ya-ee-annnn
 
Read ‘em an’ weep
Take a booger home with you to…
Read ‘em an’ weep
Take a booger home with you to…
Read ‘em an’ weep
 
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
Ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah-hah
Ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah-hah
 
Chester’s go-rilla
She go oink
Chester’s go-rilla
She go quack
Chester’s go-rilla
She go moo
Chester’s go-rilla
She go hratche-plche hratche-plche
 
[Instrumental]

12. Andy


Is there anything good inside of you? If there is, I really wanna know
Is there anything good inside of you?
If there is, I really wanna…
Know
Is there anything…
Good inside of you? If there is, I really wanna…
Know
Is there?
 
Is there anything good inside of you?
If there is, I really wanna know
Is there anything good inside of you?
If there is, I really wanna know, really wanna know
 
Something
Anything
Something
Anything
 
Show me a sign, if you don’t mind
Show me a sign, if you don’t mind
Show me a sign, if you don’t mind
Show me a sign, if you don’t mind
 
[Instrumental]
 
Do you know what I’m really telling you?
Is it something that you can understand?
Do you know what I’m really telling you?
Is it something that you can understand?
Do you know what I’m really telling you?
Is it something that you can understand?
Do you know what I’m really telling you?
Is it something that you can understand?
 
Andy de vine (de vine)
Had a thong rind (rind)
It was sublime (sublime)
But the wrong kind
 
Andy de vine (de vine)
Had a thong rind (rind)
It was sublime (sublime)
But the wrong kind
 
Have I aligned
With a blown mind?
Wasted my time
On a drawn blind?
 
Have I aligned
With a blown mind?
Wasted my time
On a drawn blind?
 
Oh, Andy
Andy
Andy, Andy
A thong rind
It was sublime, now y’all
The wrong kind
Yeah-hah-hah-hah
Big line!
 
Andy, Andy, Andy

13. Inca roads


 
[Instrumental]
 
Did a vehicle come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was it round and did it have a motor
Or was it something different?
 

Stayin’ alive

Ah ah ah ah

 
Mother Mary and Jozuf!
 
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle, did a vehicle
Fly along the mountains
And find a place to park itself?
Park it… se-e-e-elf
PARK IT, PARK IT
 
Or did someone build a place
To leave a space
For such a thing to land?
 
[Instrumental]
 
Did a vehicle come from somewhere out there? Did a vehicle come
Come from somewhere out there? Did the Indians, first on the bill, carve up the hill?
 
[Instrumental]
 
Guacamole Queen, Guacamole Queen, Guacamole Queen
 
Her fire
(Thank you! Ha ha ha ha!)
 
ON BRUCE
ON BRUCE
 
Ah-ah
THAT’S BRUCE

14. Sofa #1


[Instrumental]

Disc 2

1. Purple haze


[Ike Willis] Purple haze, all in my brain
Well, lately things they just doesn’t seem the same
Oh, I actin’ funny and I doesn’t know why
Excuse me while I kiss this guy
 
Purple haze, all around
Don’t know if I goin’ up or down
Am I happy or in misery
Whatever is this doll put a spell on me
 
Hit me
Smash me
Listen here!
 
[Instrumental]
 
[Ike Willis] Purple haze, all in my eyes
Don’t know if it’s day or night
You got me goin’ and you blew my mind
Tomorrow or just the end of time

2. Sunshine of your love


Isaac Hayes
Gabby Hayes
Willie Mays
Helen Hayes
Speakin’ of Helen
 
Well, it’s gettin’ near dark
When the lights be closin’ your tired little eyes
I’ll soon be with you, my love

And give you that potato-headed surprise
 
Stay with you darlin’
Soon
I’ll stay with you till all o’ ‘em stars start to fallin’
And fallin’
 
Ah, I’ve been waiting so long
Ayyy! A-ha!
Oh to be where I’m goin’
Arriba! Arriba! Ay!
In the sunshine of your love
 
You hold down just a second, there
You leather-faced metal freak

And you potato-headed whatchamacallit!
You talkin’ to us now, son?
Yeah, you bet I’m talkin’ to you
I got something to say right here
Ain’t you the Man in Black?
Just get yourself ready
It’s getting near dark
 
The light’s shinin’ through on you
I’ll soon be with you, my love
Whom love?
It’s the morning and just we two
I’ll be with you, darling, soon
I’ll be with ya when the sea’s all dried up!
The seas?
The seas
You’re talkin’ dried up?
I’ll seize ya, buddy
Oh! Wait a minute here! You shit-kicker!
 
I said
I been waiting so long
To be where I’m going
Andale! Andale! Anda!
In the sunshine of your love!

3. Let’s move to Cleveland


[Instrumental]

4. When Irish eyes are smiling


[Instrumental]

5. “Godfather Part II” theme


[Instrumental]

6. A few moments with Brother A. West


[Andrew West] Thank you very much, Mr. Zappa
 
Ah, I’m very pleased to be here on behalf of the Administration, the most powerful government in the world. And uh… Mr. Fitzwater invited me to come here tonight to create some balance, because there has been some things done by Mr. Zappa that I think are unfair to our country.
 
I think, from the beginning, to say that this is going to be balanced, when he has this LINGERIE up here, and MAKIN’ FUN OF CHILDREN’S TOYS, as a beginning, if this is what he has in mind, I think he’s wrong.
 
It’s people like Mr. Frank Zappa that kept the Senate from being able to send ARMS to the DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM FIGHTERS in Nicaragua! And I, for one, am headin’ down there myself, as soon as I finish up here tonight.
 
And I want the elected official, Mr. Charlie Sanders the Democrat, to remember that “Democrat” begins with the “D”, just like “DEMON”! And we’ll remember you, friend, when it comes votin’ TIME. And Margaret Boyd and Carmen Bellacord, despite his foreign name, did some help to back some things up.
 
Friends, these forms cost money. And… And this money could be GOING towards a more POWERFUL MILITARY; this money could be going towards driving out the illegal aliens. And instead, Mr. Zappa wants to have a bunch of young, uninformed 18 to 21-year-olds votin’ here, and spendin’ your money.
 
And I just want you to know that tonight, I LOVE him anyway. Because I’ve got LOVE in my heart, and I’m not afraid of the fact that he’s turned this into some kind of ZOO up here.
 
Sunday… (that’s not fair, Mr. Zappa) SUNDAY NIGHT USED TO BE A NIGHT IN WHICH AMERICANS WOULD GET TOGETHER. THEY’D GO TO THEIR PLACE OF WORSHIP, AND THEY WOULD SHARE. AND I DON’T KNOW WHY, ON THIS NIGHT WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE VALENTINE’S NIGHT, THERE AREN’T MORE PEOPLE THAT HAVE A HEART, THAT HAVE A LOVE AFFAIR WITH AMERICA. BUT INSTEAD, THEY’RE HERE ON SUNDAY NIGHT, WORSHIPPING THIS MAN WHO’S DEMON-POSSESSED!
 
I ASK YOU, MR. FRANK ZAPPA, WHAT KIND OF MAN CAN NAME A CHILD “MOON UNIT”? WHAT KIND OF MAN CAN NAME A CHILD “WEASEL”? WHAT KIND OF MAN CAN NAME A CHILD “OMEN”? To me, it defies the logic.
 
And I’m comin’ here tonight because I want to share with him, just the same way we’re going to give SPIRIT POWER to the democratic freedom fighters down there, our brothers that wanna have the freedom to be able to have a man like Pat Robertson, to have a man like Mr. Dole, RESTORE AMERICA!
 
And I’m gonna ask the power and the joy of the power of the living king of kings. And a lot of you here, you smut-minded, musical people say: “King of kings? That must be Elvis”.
 
Now I’m gonna ask for the power, I’m gonna ask for the glory
I’m gonna now, I’m gonna tell you a story
I’m gonna drive out the demons, friends
I’m gonna ask you help this badness end
Come on, Frank, let’s have a story
Come on there an’ share the glory
Do you feel the power? Come on, put out the negativity.

7. The torture never stops - Part 1


[FZ] Flies all green an’ buzzin’ in his dungeon of despair
Prisoners grumble and piss their clothes and scratch their matted hair
A tiny little light from a window hole a hundred yards away
Is all they ever get to know about the regular life in the day
 
An’ it stinks so bad, the stones been chokin’ an’ weepin’ greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works an’ the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture…
The torture…
The torture never stops
 
Slime an’ rot an’ rats an’ snot an’ vomit on the floor
Fifty ugly lookin’ soldiers, man, holdin’ spears by the iron door
Knives an’ spikes an’ guns and the likes of every tool of pain
An’ a sinister little midget with a bucket an’ a mop…
A sinister little midget with a bucket an’ a mop…
A sinister little midget with a bucket an’ a mop where the blood goes down the drain
 
An’ it stinks so bad, the stones been chokin’ an’ weepin’ greenish drops
In the room where the giant fire puffer works an’ the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture…
The torture…
The torture never stops
 
[Ike Willis] Flies all green an’ buzzin’ in his dungeon of despair
An Evil Prince eats a steamin’ pig in a chamber right near there
He eats the snouts an’ the trotters first
The loins an’ groins are soon dispersed
His carvin’ style is well rehearsed
 
He stands and shouts:
“All men be cursed”
[FZ] “ALL MEN BE…”
“ALL MEN BE…”
“ALL MEN BE…”
“All the men be cursed”
Uh-oh!
And disagree (yeah, disagree) well, no-one durst (yeah, no-one dare)
He’s the best of course of all the worst
He’s the best of course of all the worst
Some wrong a-been a-done…
 
Work out, Bob
Aaargh!

Wanna buy some cave paintings, Bob?
 
Some wrong a-been a-done (some wrong) he done it first
Some wrong been done, he done it
 
An’ he stinks so bad, his bones been chokin’ an’ weepin’ greenish drops
In the night of the iron sausage where the torture never stops
The torture never stops
The torture…
The torture…
The torture never stops

8. Theme from “Bonanza”


[FZ] And speaking of torture, how about this ugly son of a bitch?
 
[Instrumental]

9. Lonesome cowboy Burt (Swaggart version)


[FZ] My name is Swaggart, I am an asshole
All my friends they call me “Jim
Hi, Jim!
I’m from Louisiana, I make lots of money
But I fucked up and committed a sin
 
Come out here to Californy
Just to find me some pretty girls
No shit!
The one I seen gets me so horny
Ruby lips an’ teeth like pearls
 
Wanna love ‘em all, in the name of Jesus
Wanna pretty girl, I’ll even pay
I’ll buy ‘em furs, I’ll buy ‘em jewelry
I’ll never fuck them, here’s what I say:
 
I’m lonesome cowboy Jim
(Speakin’ atcha!)
I only give ‘em the tips of him
(Posin’ atcha!)
My cowboy pants
My cowboy dance
My bold advance
On this here prostitute
Yodel-oh-oo-pee-hey!
Yodel-oh-oo-pee!
 
He’s lonesome cowboy Jim
Look at the tip of him!
Come on in this place an’ I’ll buy you a taste
You can sit on my face, where’s my prostitute / waitress?
 
Swaggart, Swaggart redneck
(Thank you!)
Swaggart, Swaggart redneck
Yessir!
 
I’m an awful nice guy (So you say) I sweat all day in the sun (Oh yeah, yeah)
I’m a preacher by trade, quite a bundle like me
And I’m a feature ol’ […] son of a gun!
He’s a unionized roofin’ old son of a gun!
Fill in the blank!
 
When I get off, I get…
When I get off, I get…

When… I… I… I… I…

And then, Sharkey says…
When… I get off… (Pfft!)
I get sinful
(Just the tip! Only the tip now, come on)
I spoo
Till I goo
On the rug
Then I find me
Some 1895 Luiann Louisiana style prostitute
And make her do pornographic stunts while I watch
And I have
So much fun
Jay-zus! Jay-zus!
Pornographic stunts and I have so much fun
(What?)
 
I huff
And I puff
Hratche-plche hratche-plche
And I pump up my sanctified erection
Till my cheeks
Puff up
An’ turn red
Say, varmint!
Along with my neck
I drool
On my shirt
Takes a little while before I squirt
But I’ve been doin’ it for twenty years and they haven’t caught me yet
UH-OH!
Made a mistake this time!
Now I’ve sinned
Everybody!
(What an asshole!)
Made a mistake and I sinned, UH!
Made a mistake and I sinned, OW!
Made a mistake and I sinned, WHAT?
Made a mistake and I sinned
 
Lonesome cowboy Jim
(Sinnin’ atcha!)
Come smell this fringe-y shirt
(Grinnin’ atcha!)
My cowboy pants
My cowboy dance
My bold advance
On this here prostitute
Yodel-oh-oo-pee-hey!
Yodel-oh-oo-pee!
 
HE’S LONESOME COWBOY JIM / SCOTT BOO-HOO-HOO-HOO
Don’t you dare to laugh at him / Swat
(Oh, tune me in now)
Come on in this place an’ I’ll buy you a taste
An’ you can sit on my face, where’s my prostitute?
 
OPAL, YOU HOT LITTLE BITCH!

10. The torture never stops - Part 2


[Instrumental]
 
[FZ] Flies all green an’ buzzin’ in his dungeon of despair
Who are all those people that is locked away down there?
Are they crazy?
Are they sainted?
Are they zeros someone painted?
 
It’s never been explained since at first it was created
But a dungeon, just like a sin
Requires naught but lockin’ in
Of everything that’s ever been
Look at her
Look at him
 
That’s what’s the deal we’re dealing in
That’s what’s the deal we’re dealing in
That’s what’s the deal we’re dealing in
That’s what’s the deal we’re dealing in

11. More trouble every day (Swaggart version)


[FZ] Well, I’m about to get sick from watchin’ my TV
Been checkin’ out the HO-HO-HO until my eyeballs fail to see
(Oh my God, it’s Tipper!)
I mean to say that every day is just another voodoo fudge
(Oh my God!)
And when it’s gonna change, my friend, you fill in the blank right here
 
But I’m watchin’ and I’m waitin’, hopin’ for the best
Even think I’ll go to prayin’ every time I hear ‘em sayin’
I know they’re…
I know they’re fresh!
I don’t know
There’s no way to delay those panties / that trouble comin’ every day
No way to delay those panties / that trouble comin’ every day
 
Wednesday I watched Jimmy Swaggart, watched him weepin’ all over the place
An’ I watched him weepin’ an’ weepin’ an’ weepin’ and that shit rollin’ down his face
(Oh, I sinned!)
An’ then I watched him weep some more an’ he kept on weepin’ again
(Oh, forgive me, Assembly O’ God!)
And they smacked him on his little hand and he went out makin’ more money
UH-OH!
 
I’m watchin’ and I’m waitin’, hopin’ for the best
Even think I’ll go to prayin’ (Jay-zus!) every time I hear ‘em sayin’
(I have seen the path!)
There’s no way to delay that trouble comin’ every day
No way to delay that trouble comin’ every day
 
(Forgive me!)
Oh, Jesus, I just stuck the tip in! Oh my God!
 
[Instrumental]
 
I’m watchin’ and I’m waitin’, hopin’ for the best
Even think I’ll go to prayin’ every time I hear ‘em sayin’, oh yeah
(Oh no!)

12. Penguin in bondage (Swaggart version)


[FZ] She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy
Oh yeah oh yeah oh
Rennenhenninnahenninnenninahennn
Way over on the wet side of the bed
Just like the mighty penguin
Flappin’ her eight ounce wings
(The Swaggart flap)
 
Don’t you know it’s all over
If she come atcha on the strut & wrap ‘em all around yer head
Flappin’ her eight ounce wings, flappinumm
 
Jim!
 
She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy
Shake up the pale-dry ginger ale
Tremblin’ like a penguin when the battery fail
 

Lord, you must be havin’ her jumpin’ through a hoopa real fire
With some Kleenex wrapped around a coat-hang wire
 
Fire!
 
[Instrumental]
 
[FZ] Little penguin
A dirty little bird
 
[Instrumental]
 
[FZ] She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy
Oh yeah oh yeah oh
Rennenhenninnahenninneninahenn
Howlin’ over to some antarcticulated moon
In the frostbite nite with her flaps gone white
Shriekin’ as she spot the hoop across the room
(There it goes again… it’s that hoop)
Ah ha
 
You know it must be a penguin bound down
When you hear that terrible weepin’ and there ain’t no other evangelist around
 
Jim!
 
She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy
Oh yeah oh yeah oh
She’s just like a penguin in bondage, boy
Oh yeah oh yeah oh
Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim-Jim
Aw, you must be careful not to leave those straps TOO LOOSE
‘Cause she just might turn you in
‘Cause she just might turn you in
Yessir!
An’ leave you sort of a dried-up, wizened little ministry
BOW WOW
RAW!

13. The Eric Dolphy memorial barbecue


[Instrumental]

14. Stairway to heaven


[Instrumental]
 
There’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven
When she gets there she knows if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
 
Ooo-oooh ooo-oooh
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven
 
There’s a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
‘Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings
In a tree by the brook there’s a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misleading
 
Oooh, makes me wonder
Oh-oh-oh-ooooh, makes me wonder
 
There’s a feeling I gets when I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
And the voices of those who stand looking
 
And oooh, makes me wonder
And oh-oh-oh-ooooh, makes me wonder
 
And it’s whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter
 
Yes, it makes me wonder
And ow-ow-ow-ow, no
 
If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow don’t be alarmed now
It’s just a spring clean for the May Queen
Yes, there are two paths you can go by but in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on
On and on
 
Said ooooh, makes me wonder
And oh-oh-oh-ooooh, makes me wonder
 
Your head is humming and it won’t go in case you don’t know
The piper’s calling you to join him
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow? And did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind?
Say!
 
Say!
 
[Instrumental]
 
Mother Mary and Yozuf!
 
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to know
How everything still turns to gold
 
And if you listen very hard
The news will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll
 
And she’s buying a stairway to heaven
 
[FZ] Ike Willis, Mike Keneally, Walt Fowler, Bruce Fowler, Paul Carman, Albert Wing, Kurt McGettrick, Chad Wackerman, Ed Mann, Robert Martin, Scott Thunes. Thanks for coming to the show. Good night, Robert!



Drawing by Cal Schenkel

English lyrics from site Information Is Not Knowledge.