(Front) Photo by Emerson-Loew (LP back)

Linked material:

Apostrophe (’)

 

  1 Don’t eat the yellow snow
  2 Nanook rubs it
  3 St. Alfonzo’s pancake breakfast {+ Rollo}
  4 Father O’Blivion
  5 Cosmik debris
  6 Excentrifugal forz
  7 Apostrophe’ [Frank Zappa, Jack Bruce, Jim Gordon]
  8 Uncle Remus [Frank Zappa, George Duke]
  9 Stink-foot

 

All compositions by Frank Zappa, except as noted above.


Album notes by FZ
This is an album of songs and stories set to music performed for your dining and dancing pleasure by FZ and some of the people he likes to record with.

1. Don’t eat the yellow snow


[FZ] Dreamed I was an Eskimo
Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
Frozen wind began to blow
Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
Under my boots an’ around my toe
Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
Frost had bit the ground below
Boop-boop aiee-ay-ah!
Was a hundred degrees below zero
Booh!
Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
And my momma cried:
“Boo-a-hoo hoo-ooo”

And my momma cried:
Nanook-a, no, no
No, no
Nanook-a, no, no
No, no
Don’t be a naughty Eskimo-wo-oh
Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop ta-da-da
Save your money: don’t go to the show”
Well, I turned around an’ I said:
“HO HO”
Booh!
Well, I turned around an’ I said:
“HO HO”
Booh!
Well, I turned around an’ I said:
“HO HO”
An’ the northern lites commenced t’glow
An’ she said
Bop-bop ta-da-da bop
With a tear in her eye:
“WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO
AN’ DON’T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW”
“WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO
AN’ DON’T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW”

2. Nanook rubs it


Well, right about that time, people

A fur trapper
Who was strictly from commercial
Strictly commercial

Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igyaloo
Peek-a-boo woo-ooo-ooo

And he started in to whippin’ on my fav’rite baby seal
With a lead-filled snow shoe…
 
I said:
“With a lead…
Lead…
Filled…
Lead-filled…
A lead-filled snow shoe”
Snow shoe
He said: “Peak-a-boo”
Peek-a-boo
“With a lead…
Lead…
Filled…
Lead-filled…
With a lead-filled snow shoe…”
Snow shoe
He said: “Peak-a-boo”
Peek-a-boo
 
He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal
He went WHAP!
With a lead-filled snow shoe…
An’ he hit him on the nose an’ he hit him on the fin an’ he…
 

That got me just about as evil as an Eskimo boy can be…
So I bent down an’ I reached down an’ I scooped down an’ I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly…
Yellow snow
The deadly yellow snow from right there where the huskies go
 
Whereupon I proceeded to take that mitten full of the deadly yellow snow crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people on this area

But destined to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology
Here it goes now…
The circular motion… rub it!
 

Here Fido! Here Fido!
 
And then, in a fit of anger, I…
I pounced
And I pounced again
 

GREAT GOOGLY-MOOGLY!
I jumped up an’ down on the chest of the…
I injured the fur trapper
Well, he was very upset, as you can understand
And rightly so, because
The deadly yellow snow crystals
Had deprived him of his sight
And he stood up
And he looked around and he said:
“I CAN’T SEE”
Do do do-do do do do yeah!
“I CAN’T SEE”
Do do do-do do do do yeah!
“OH WOE IS ME
Do do do-do do do do yeah!
“I CAN’T SEE”
Do do do-do do do do well!
 
“NO, NO”
“I CAN’T SEE”
“NO… I…”
 
“He took a dog-doo snow cone an’ stuffed it in my right eye
He took a dog-doo snow cone an’ stuffed it in my other eye
An’ the huskie wee-wee, I mean, the doggie wee-wee has blinded me
An’ I can’t see, temporarily”
 
Well, the fur trapper
Stood there
With his arms outstretched
Across the frozen white wasteland
Trying to figure out what he’s gonna do about his deflicted eyes
And it was at that precise moment that he remembered an ancient Eskimo legend
Wherein it is written
On whatever it is that they write it on up there
That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes
As a result of some sort of conflict with anyone named Nanook

The only way you can get it fixed up
Is to go trudgin’ across the tundra…
Mile after mile
Trudgin’ across the tundra…
Right down to the parish of Saint Alfonzo…
Ah-ah-ah-ah!

3. St. Alfonzo’s pancake breakfast {+ Rollo}


Yes indeed, here we are!
 
At Saint Alfonzo’s pancake breakfast
Where I stole the mar-juh-rene
An’ widdled on the bingo cards in lieu of the latrine
 
I saw a handsome parish lady
Make her entrance like a queen
Why, she was totally chenille and her old man was a Marine
 
As she abused a sausage pattie
And said: “Why don’t you treat me mean?”
Hurt me, hurt me, hurt me, oooooh!
 
At Saint Alfonzo’s pancake breakfast
Hah! Good God! Get off the bus!
Where I stole the mar-juh-rene…
 
[Instrumental]
 
Saint Alfonzo
Saint Alfonzo
Saint Alfonzo
Saint Alfonzo
Ooo-ooo-WAH

4. Father O’Blivion


Get on your feet an’ do the funky Alfonzo!
 

Father Vivian O’Blivion
Resplendent in his frock
Was whipping up the batter
For the pancakes of his flock
He was looking rather bleary
(He forgot to watch the clock)
 
‘Cause the night before
Behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked, yes…
 
The night before
Behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked…
(He stroked it!)
 
The night before
Behind the door
A leprechaun had stroked his…
Sma-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
Ahhh
Stroked his smock
 
Which set him off in such a frenzy

He sang Lock around the crock
An’ he topped it off with a…
An’ he topped it off with a…
An’ he topped it off with a…
WOO WOO WOO
WOO WOO WOO
WOO WOO WOO
 
As he stumbled on his ****
He was delighted as it stiffened
And ripped right through his sock
“Oh, Saint Alfonzo would be proud of me
Proud of me”
 
He shouted down the block
 

Dominus vo-bisque’em
Et cum spear a tu-tu, oh
Won’t you eat my sleazy pancakes
Just for Saintly Alfonzo?
They’re so light an’ fluffy-white
We’ll raise a fortune by tonite
They’re so light an’ fluffy-white
We’ll raise a fortune by tonite
They’re so light an’ fluffy-brown
They’re the finest in the town
They’re so light an’ fluffy-brown
They’re the finest in the town
 

Good morning, Your Highness
Ooo-ooo-ooo

I brought you your snow shoes
Ooo-ooo-ooo
Good morning, Your Highness
Ooo-ooo-ooo
I brought you your snow shoes

5. Cosmik debris


The mystery man came over
An’ he said: “I’m outasite
He said for a nominal service charge
I could reach Nervonna t’nite
 

If I was ready, willing an’ able
To pay him his regular fee
He would drop all the rest of his pressing affairs
And devote his attention to me
But I said:
 
Look here, brother, who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?
Now, who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?
Look here, brother, don’t you waste your time on me”
 
The mystery man got nervous
An’ he fidget around a bit
He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe
An’ he whipped out a shaving kit
 
Now, I thought it was a razor
An’ a can of foamin’ goo
But he told me right then when the top popped open
There was nothin’ his box won’t do
 
With the oil of Afro Dytee

An’ the dust of the Grand Wazoo
He said: “You might not believe this, little fella, but it’ll cure your asthma too!”
An’ I said:
 
Look here, brother, who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?
Now, what kind of a geroo are you anyway?
Look here, brother, don’t you waste your time on me
Don’t waste yer time…”
 
[Instrumental]
 
“I’ve got troubles of my own” I said
“An’ you can’t help me out
So take your meditations an’ your preparations
An’ ram it up yer snout”
 
“BUT I GOT A KRISTL BOLE!”
He said, an’ held it to the light
So I snatched it all away from him
An’ I showed him how to do it right
 
I wrapped a newspaper ‘round my head
So I’d look like I was Deep
I said some mumbo jumbos then
An’ told him he was goin’ to sleep
 
I robbed his rings an’ pocket watch
An’ everything else I found
I had that sucker hypnotized
He couldn’t even make a sound
 
I proceeded to tell him his future then
As long as he was hanging around
I said: “The price of meat has just gone up
An’ yer ol’ lady has just gone down…”
 
Look here, brother, who you jivin’ with that cosmik debris?

(Now, is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho? )
Don’t you know? You could make more money as a butcher
So don’t you waste your time on me
Don’t waste it, don’t waste your time on me
Ohm shanti, ohm shanti, ohm shanti-ohm
SSSHANTI

6. Excentrifugal forz


[FZ] The clouds are really cheap
The way I seen ‘em thru the ports
Of which there is a half-a-dozen
On the base of my resorz
 
You wouldn’t think I’d have too many
Since I never cared for sports
But I’m never really lonely
In my excentrifugal forz
 
There’s always Korla Plankton
Him an’ me can play the blues
An’ then I’ll watch him buff
That tiny ruby that he use
 
He’ll straighten up his turban
An’ eject a little ooze
Along a one-celled Hammond organism
Underneath my shoes
 
An’ then I’ll call Pup Tentacle
I’ll ask him how’s his chin
I’ll find out how the future is
Because that’s where he’s been
 

His little feet got long an’ flexible
An’ suckers fell right in

The time he crossed the line
From “later on” to “way back when”

7. Apostrophe’


[Instrumental]

8. Uncle Remus


[FZ & Susan Glover] Woh, are we movin’ too slow?
Have you seen us, Uncle Remus?

[FZ] We look pretty sharp in these clothes
(Yes we do)
Unless we get sprayed with a hose
 
It ain’t bad in the day
If they squirt it your way
‘Cept in the winter, when it’s froze
An’ it’s hard if it hits on yer nose
[Susan Glover] On yer nose
 
[FZ & Susan Glover] Just keep yer nose to the grindstone, they say
Will that redeem us, Uncle Remus?

I can’t wait till my fro is full-grown
I’ll just throw ‘way my doo-rag at home
 

I’ll take a drive to Beverly Hills, just before dawn
An’ knock the little jockeys off the rich people’s lawn
An’ before they get up I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone
Before they get up I’ll be knocking the jockeys off the lawn

Down in the dew
 
[Instrumental]

9. Stink-foot


[FZ] In the dark, where all the fevers grow
Under the water, where the shark bubbles blow
In the mornin’, by yer radio
Do the walls close in t’suffocate ya?
You ain’t got no friends… an’ all the others: they hate ya
Does the life you been livin’ gotta go, hmmm?
 
Well, lemme straighten you out about a place I know…
(Get yer shoes an’ socks on, people, it’s right aroun’ the corner)
 

Out through the night an’ the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep the imaginary diseases
Out through the night an’ the whispering breezes
To the place where they keep the imaginary diseases
 
This has to be the disease for you
Now, scientists call this disease… bromhidrosis

But us regular folks, who might wear tennis shoes or an occasional python boot , know this exquisite little inconvenience by the name of… STINK FOOT
 
Y’know, my python boot is too tight
I couldn’t get it off last night
A week went by, an’ now it’s July
I finally got it off an’ my girlfriend cry:
“You got STINK FOOT!
Stink foot, darlin’
Your stink foot puts a hurt on my nose!
Stink foot! Stink foot! I ain’t lyin’
Can you rinse it off, d’you suppose?”
 

Here Fido! Fido!
C’mere little puppy, bring the slippers
“Arf arf arf”
 
Heh heh heh, SICK!
 
[Instrumental]
 
Well, then Fido got up off the floor an’ he rolled over an’ he looked me straight in the eye, an’ you know what he said?
Once upon a time somebody say to me”
This is a dog talkin’ now “What is your conceptual continuity?
Well, I told him right then” Fido said “It should be easy to see

The crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe (’)”
 

Well, you know, the man who was talkin’ to the dog looked at the dog an’ he said (sort of staring in disbelief ):
“You can’t say that!”
He said:
“It doesn’t, an’ you can’t, I won’t, an’ it don’t
It hasn’t, it isn’t, it even ain’t, an’ it shouldn’t
It couldn’t”
He told me: “NO, NO, NO!”
I told him: “YES, YES, YES!”
I said: “I do it all the time… ain’t this boogie a mess!”
 

[Chorus] THE POODLE BY-EE-ITES!

THE POODLE CHEWS IT!

[Repeat]





English lyrics from site Information Is Not Knowledge.